ANARCHY AGAINST ORDER (ON HOLD)

5. Harsh Realities

Who are you, if you are not a Haven?

I was looking at a furious Mrs. Fuchsia. Her arms were folded tightly above her chest and a soup ladle was tucked in the crook of her arm, letting me know that one wrong answer can get my head bashed and my body sent off to the gaol for lying.

Fortunately, I had the answer.

'I don't know really. I've been wondering that myself, funnily enough,' I said. Yeah not the best answer, in retrospection.

She frowned. 'How could you not know? And what have you done with the real Anarchie Haven?!' she asked sharply.

'Nothing; I am Anarchie. I'm just not a Haven,' she looked at me in confusion. 'Look, can we just sit down and discuss it without getting the ladle involved please?' I asked, raising my hands up in a placating gesture.

She sat down without taking her eyes off of me and without, unfortunately, divesting herself of the ladle. 'Go on.'

I took a deep breath and took a seat in front of her and started, 'See, as you know, on the night of the Reunion Ceremony Mr. and Mrs. Haven had...'

I decided that the truth would be my best option here. I told her everything from the top, leaving out only the details like my thoughts on the issue. Her face grew slacker as my story progressed, clearly she was surprised.

'Do you believe me?' I asked desperately. Neo was here now, changed and ready to go back to the Government compound. She was listening along, scared to interrupt lest Mrs. Fuchsia changes her mind about believing us.

'I don't know what to think. It will not be possible for you to take the place of Mr. and Mrs. Haven's real daughter without the government finding out. So, I'm inclined to believe you. At the same time, it is very astonishing how the Government is purposefully sending kids to wrong homes,' she said.

'Well, the government even lied about the Rejects right? This proves that the Government has many secrets,' I reasoned. I knew that she had even heard about Neo being a reject. I felt so stupid about letting my guard down so easily; especially since I was an assassin.

'True. What do you plan to do now? Will you tell the Havens about this?' Mrs. Fuchsia asked.

'No, not at the moment; I would prefer gathering some solid evidence to back my words before disclosing anything,' I said.

'That will be better actually. I just can't imagine how much would they be hurt if they found out that you're not their real daughter,' Mrs. Fuchsia lamented.

'Well, I do promise to not put them into any kind of trouble, if that's a relief?' I said.

'I would prefer for you to be safe as well, but is that expecting too much?' she gave me a wan smile.

'I'm afraid so,' I grinned back. 'So, will you help me keep it a secret?'

'Sure Miss Haven.'

*****

After ensuring that Neo properly reeked of alcohol- we got it from my dad's whiskey cabinet- she went on her way back to the compound. I had decided to come clean to Kai about the whole issue as well, so I called him over to the Haven's house.

After ten minutes, the bell rung and I went down to open the door. I had asked Mrs. Fuchsia to remain in her quarters while we talked. I didn't want Kai to feel obligated to hide his emotions while we talk.

'Hey,' Kai greeted me with an easy smile.

'Hi,' I replied back, the queasy feeling growing in my chest.

And of course he noticed. 'Well, you seem tensed. What's up?'

'I have something to tell you. Can we sit first?'

*****

'What?!'

It wasn't going well. Kai was looking at me incredulously and I was looking at him as calmly as I could- someone had to be the calm one here and I can't really expect that person to be him.

'Yes. I just knew that they weren't my parents the moment I saw them. So, I have an inkling that they're-'

'-sending everyone to wrong homes, yes. But how are you so sure that the Havens are not your real parents?' Kai looked dumbfounded.

'I just am. There's this small memory- ' I tried not think too hard about it everyday because then I'm left with a headache, but there was this bright flash of a grin, and a curtain of silky black hair with strands of blue shot through it that taunted me before slipping away.

I continued, 'Anyways, I have a memory that assures me that I'm in the right track.'

'You have a memory,' Kai echoed, raising his eyebrows skeptically.

'Yeah, and I'm trying to find more proof to back up my knowledge,' I said.

'But isn't everyone's memory altered once we enter the compound? How was yours skipped?' Kai asked.

'I don't know. I don't know if it was intentional or an accident. I don't really know much about anything at the moment. I had thought that I won't even tell you until I had solid proof, but then...' I trailed off, uncertain about how to go on.

'Then? What changed?' he asked bitterly.

'Then Neo told me that she was rejected,' I said, hushed.

'Wait, what? Why...?' he looked like he might ditch the site right now. I felt guilty about dropping everything on him at a go, but if I wanted to proceed forward without much hindrance, I needed to tell him.

'Yeah, that's why she stayed with me; to tell me about how she was a Reject now and the Government harbors Rejects secretly.'

I told him everything that Neo had told me. After I was finished, he sat quietly for a moment, looking shell-shocked.

I didn't say anything and just let him process things for a moment. This was the advantage of having a boyfriend who was so much like you- you don't need to wrack your brains too much; you simply understood.

'So,' he finally said. 'The Government's basically screwing with us?' he summed up.

'Pretty much, yeah,' I agreed.

'What else are they hiding? Do we have talking killer sharks? Or perhaps eight-legged cows that gave neon colored acid milk?' he asked rhetorically. 'Everything is just so vague and hard to believe,' he said.

'I know Kai. I just wanted to tell you so that you don't suspect me when I slip off to gather intel,' I said. 'You must have thought that I was behaving weird during Queezo's party, right?'

'Yeah, but I had assumed that you were on your periods or something,' he said, looking fractionally less ruffled than before.

I rolled my eyes. 'No, my periods had ended a week ago. I was just trying to hear anything that may be of consequence there. Oh, and searching for Neo.'

'Okay. So, who else knows about this?' he asked.

'Uh, Neo, Mrs. Fuchsia- our housekeeper; Neo and I were careless and we accidentally revealed everything,' I fiddled with the hem of my t-shirt in discomfort- I was still uncomfortable about that slip up. 'And you. No one else knows.'

'Okay...' he said slowly. 'I need some time to process everything. Right now, I want to be left alone okay? So, I'm going back to my place, we'll talk tomorrow yeah?' he said almost in a trance.

I expected as much. This was a big thing to process- main reason I was so shocked at how readily Neo believed it.

Well, this knowledge probably gave her validation- that she wasn't Rejected by her own parents- and she took it hungrily. But Kai? This secret shook the foundation of what he believed was true. Nothing was the way he was led to believe- even his family wasn't his, and that's a hard thing to cope with.

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~Ria