A day In the Life of an Undead

Chapter 3

Tan Shihong knew just what was happening, and he was prepared. The only logical explanation for him still remaining in control of his corpse was that his master's grave was still under threat. Under threat of what, you might ask? Well, Tan Shihong knew.
It had to be, like, a demonic bird or something! After 4 days of single handedly attempting to put birds on the endangered species list, Tan Shihong was surprised by the lack of demonic, powerful birds with a thirst for revenge. Thus, this was the only explanation in his mind. A demonic bird was observing him for weakness.

[Sounds like someone's developing a severe case of Anatidaephobia!(1. The fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you)]

'You're back?'  Tan Shihong immediately became more alert.

[Eh... Well, yes. I thought about your offer from before, and after much consideration... I decided, I will accept!] 

'I thought you were going to make me regret that.'

[Oh, you will when you eventually get cut down after acting as target practice for my protagonist, but for now he's.... depressingly weak.]

'Obviously.'

Tan Shihong rolled his eyes, before the sound of someone heaving up inside the mouth of the cave sounded before him. Tada! Here was the protagonist, jumping to his feet in front of Tan Shihong.

'...Why is he already back? Is he okay?'

[He slept by a tree for two days and then drank some puddle water, he's fine.]

'I feel like you have a very vague grasp on humans. He's going to get E. coli.'

Tan Shihong had a feeling that if he continued to chat with the system, he would only end up more dispirited. Already disappointed with Chang Fa, he sheathed his saber and immediately dropped to a low stance.
    Chang Fa, on the other-hand, unsheathed his sword. Even though it wasn't that good of a weapon, it was better than nothing! Who was stupid enough to go against an opponent empty handed? Chang Fa would only do that were he up against a child!

    ...

    Chang Fa suddenly felt a bit insulted.

    "Bro, I feel like there isn't much communication going on here. Just a lot of unneeded anger, how about we--" Chang Fa was just about to attempt to dish up a bowl of chicken soup for the soul for the undead, in an attempt to pacify him. After all, the supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. Right, Sun Tzu?
        But, as soon as his lips ceased touching, the undead charged, attempting to strike Chang Fa. A fist flew his way, and Chang Fa anxiously remembered he was still standing on the edge of the cave, just above a steep drop down a cliff. He immediately ducked and speedily hopped sideways and backwards, just away from the drop.
Tan Shihong turned the opposite way as Chang Fa, running at the wall and propelling himself off of it. One hand grabbed the wrist of the hand Chang Fa was using to hold his sword, pulling it forward into a joint lock.
    Even after 500 years, the body remembered its teachings. Tan Shihong thanked the original soul for his diligence. He was being a bit needlessly extra with his martial art moves, sure, but he felt cool.

'What cultivation stage am I at, anyways? Like early-stage core formation?' Tan Shihong asked. He felt light and strong. More than he ever did while alive. The only explanation for him being able to commit such difficult maneuvers so easily would have to be due to the internal energy that this body possessed.

Tan Shihong waited for some kind of snide answer, but received nothing. That was a bit curious, but Tan Shihong decided he ultimately didn't care. He'd try to meditate and circulate his Qi later, and then he'd probably figure it out anyways.
He was busy zoning out when the protagonist he held by the arm suddenly tossed his sword to his other hand and attempted to swing it at Tan Shihong's legs.
Kid, how dumb could you be! Tan Shihong could easily pull your arm out of socket right now, focus on freeing your arm! In order to not harm Chang Fa, Tan Shihong had to let him out of the joint lock before he could jump up and out of the way of Chang Fa's swinging.
When Chang Fa crouched down, preparing to spring up and attack, Tan Shihong took the opportunity to kick the dirt and pebbles on the ground into the protagonist's eyes.

"Ugh!!" Chang Fa tried to wipe out the dust in his eyes with one hand. His eyes quickly became red and irritated, and tears ran down as he began to swing his sword around violently.
Tan Shihong continued easily dodging, and eventually just slid behind Chang Fa and knocked him to his knees.

"Listen carefully," Tan Shihong rasped, the scorn in his eyes searing, "You shouldn't have come here while you are weak, useless, and without even recovering from the last time. You don't know how to pivot your feet correctly, and your stances are too low and unstable. You focus too much on blunt power, ignoring technique entirely. When swinging your sword and striking, you forget entirely about defense, especially about protecting your face. You act blindly, your guard is down entirely, you pay no attention to energy preservation so after every strike you are weak, and are too easily brought to the ground."
"Focus first on defense and technique. It only takes 3 well placed blows to the head to die. One strike to both temples and then the back of the head. The amount of chances I had to do that were extraordinary. When you're taken to the ground, it doesn't typically mean you're done fighting, it means that you're now open to being beaten to no end. I could have broken many of your bones before now."
"And finally, you have to remember: No one is coming to your rescue. Get rid of that mindset that anything in this world is going to cater to victims."

With the intention of breaking a few of Chang Fa's fingers to prove a point (Tan Shihong was pretty sure they were the most painless bone to break), Tan Shihong stepped forward and easily distributed the weight across the top of Chang Fa's fingers. Chang Fa was looking at him with a white, shocked face as Tan Shihong quickly went to stomp down on his hand.
Suddenly, a dart seemed to snap out from nowhere and imbed itself above Tan Shihong's collarbone. Tan Shihong's eyes narrowed in surprise as he quickly unsheathed his sword and turned around.
Before him, at the mouth of the cave, stood what seemed to be a pair of twins, around 14 or 15. The girl had her black hair set up in buns, and in her hands she firmly gripped a blowgun. The boy's shoulder length hair fell loose, and he grasped two small hook swords. Both their noses were pointed high, angry expressions painted across their faces.

"Now you, get away from Chang-ge!"

[Ooo! You're so dead now!] The system chirped.