Broken | Lucas North - Spooks/MI5 Story [Featured]

Chapter 15

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Kudos and BBC. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's note:  If you've managed to read this far, thank you thank you thank you for bearing with Alexa and Lucas for so long.  I hope you're enjoying the ride so far!  

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“Into the eternal darkness, into fire and into ice. ”
-Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy 

“No!”

The ship’s horn yanked Alexa from the darkness and she sat up, gasping for breath, her eyes wide.  She brought her hand to her temples, feeling the skin for any pain but not finding any.  Instead, she found a deep scar that ran along a straight line along the left side of her head, hidden by her thick hair.  Tears had dampened her face and for a moment she thought she was bleeding.

Her wrists were bound in a pair of handcuffs, but she didn’t care.  Alexa only knew that she was alive.  And that it had all been a dream, nothing but a dream of the past that she had forgotten.

Breathing heavily, she kept her fingers on the deep groove that ran all the way along the side of her head, the memory of that night slowly returning to her.  She closed her eyes, her breath coming in heaves now as the images came like a flood into her brain.  

Didn’t Harry insist on her seeing a psychiatrist when she first returned to London?  Didn’t he say that it would help her remember and in remembering, she would understand and forget?  But as Alexa touched the scar along the side of her head, knowing she’d touched that scar many times for years yet refused to understand or learn how she had gotten it, she knew that there had always been a reason why she refused any such help.  

She had wanted all of that locked up, like a part of a house never meant to be opened up to anyone, not ever its owner.  A chamber of secrets so dark, she knew that learning about them would only lead her to more pain.

But as she folded her knees in front of her, bowing her head, Alexa remembered it all now.  The doors leading to the chamber of secrets so dark were never meant to be locked forever.  It had waited for the right time.  

Don’t move.

Alexa shut her eyes tightly, seeing the flash of light as the bullet left the barrel of gun and slammed onto the earthen floor next to her, the bullet grazing a deep groove on the side of her head, blood coating the floor beneath her head.  A part of her remembered the smell of blood as it splashed across her face and fanned below her head like a halo.  

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Nine years ago, Mikhael had shot her.  And for nine years, she never once remembered the source of the deep groove along her scalp, the faint stitches of fine needle that had seamed it shut.  She remembered it all now, and as she did the world rushed towards her, swallowing her whole.  Her skin grew clammy and cold, her eyes seeing nothing but darkness.

Alexa had been in some kind of coma for almost a week, unable to wake.  She would remember nothing of that night, only that Mikhael had beaten her almost to death in his anger over running away, and nothing more.  

It was probably for the best, Alexa thought now, as she struggled back to the present.  She felt as if she were in deep water, where it was murkiest, and as she tried to swim upwards, the memories rushed at her, unrelenting.  The visions slammed into her like a movie playing scenes again and again, some with sound, and some without.