My House of Gold

Failing to Mention

December 13th- two weeks before.
Feeling just as worst as death Janis Jefferson inched her way over to the camera set in front of her bed. Her heavy breathing suffocated her as she clenched her throat and quietly sobbed in between gasps of air. The pain inside of her twisted and swam, the never ending quench of relief filled Janis's mouth as she struggled to turn on the camera. the blinking light of RECORD flashed in Janis's blurring eyes and she moved quietly back to the bed and slowly approach a smile across her face as she stared into the camera with glasses eyes.
"Hi my babies." Janis's voice cracked as she stared into the camera. She fought back the tears but as she did they began to fill her eyes ever so slightly.
"I guess I didn't expect anything like this to happen. I know I've already said my goodbyes-." She inhaled. "But I wanted to say it again, my loves. " Janis exhaled with a smile.
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June 1oth- six months earlier.
The frosty wind swooped into the blank room. The emotion from the pale white walls sucked out all outside life and the unusual chilly summer morning didn't make it any better but Janis Jefferson sat opposite side of the doctor with a smile on her face. Janis had her damaged short hair pulled back into a small bun and bounced the two-year-old girl, Ofelia, on her lap as the doctor looked grimly over the results in front of him. He occasionally glanced up at Janis, pondering how she could sit there with a smile on her face with such a terrible fate in front of her.
"Did you fill out the paperwork completely, Mrs. Jefferson?" The doctor asked hushed as if to not let the toddler Ofelia in on the conversation.
Without taking her eyes off her granddaughter's smile, "I have been looking at paperwork my entire life, Dr. Myles." Janis glanced up for a moment with a smirk on her face, "Your son was in my class a few years before I retired."
Dr. Myles pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and wiped his forehead with a handkerchief from his pocket. His giant hands covered almost half his face and yet he left them on his face for a long time before returning to the conversation. "Janis." His concerned voice caused Janis to look up in confusion, "This is a very important decision. Do your children know what you're doing?"
Janis looked away for a moment, her smile had faded.
"I haven't gotten the chance to gather them all up, only Jerry knows right now."
"You need two witnesses to sign to make sure you're of sound-mind, remember that?"
Janis looked back at her granddaughter and began to smile again, "Gordon, if this were easy I would've done it already."
"Done what? Killed yourself?" Dr. Myles snapped but quickly fixed his posture, "It's just there are other options-."
"-To maybe ease the pain for another three months before nature abruptly decides it's my time to go?" Janis smiled wide and shook her head, "I would want my chance to say goodbye right before. Not too early and defiantly not too late."
Dr. Myles sunk down in his chair and rolled his neck around pondering how to bring it up again without mentioning the words. His glasses slide down his nose but he didn't bother to fix it. He sat there staring at the wall thinking, he's known Janis for the better part of three years and hearing her talk so freely of dying shook him up more than any other patient could ever. It's a bittersweet feeling for him- when did it become common practice to question why your patient refuses treatment but he couldn't control himself. Janis Jefferson helped mold his son, something no one else could possibly understand unless they had that kind of friendship with a teacher such as Janis. Janis broke the silence.
"We are going to tell the kids once Jackson comes home this Saturday." The smile never left her face.
Janis and her granddaughter left the room giggling and babbling with each other. She wrapped her arms tightly around Ofelia as the toddler tilted her head up to stare at the white walls and quietly gasped. Janis raised an eyebrow at her and asked what was wrong, with a straight face Ofelia pointed to the light and screeched pointing up to the lights on the ceiling, "Life! Yellow life!" She cried out laughing.