Behind the smile

School

I hopped out of bed and trudged to the bathroom my hair in front of my face
I stood in the mirror and just stared at my complextion analyzing every flaw I have.

Hair- to frizzy
Eyes-dark brown
Pimples all around my face EVERYWHERE
Lips-not pink

Just everything I see about myself is bad, everyday I look in the mirror and try to make me feel better by saying
"Your beautiful"
"You'll get through this"
"Don't listen to others"

You see all my life bad things happen consistently my parents divorced and one died in a car accident, so right now I live with my dad and my step mom and my step sis.. My dad is barely home mostly still grieving about my mothers death.. My step mom is a total bitch she doesn't care about me only about her precious little daughter

Besides that going on I get bullied in school, I don't fit no matter how I try, I buy all the new clothes ect .. I was so much better and popular when my mom was still here.. So much alive.. Now I just feel alone.. Feel like nobody wants you

You know the days where you just wish you can change your whole life, go back to the past.. I feel that everyday and I can't stop .. I need to make people like me but everything I do and everything I try never works.. I have this thing about me that if anyone on doesn't likes me even the most bitchiest bitch that Hats everybody, I feel even worse about my self.

I used to be bestfriends with this guy named chandler but then he started drifting away going to the populars.. I text him no reply .. We hung out everytime we were little but I guess he doesn't care about me anymore or even remember my name

Sometimes o wish my mom was here, if she was I wouldn't have all this.. I wouldn't feel alone,depressed ..
I just need that one person in my life to help me get through this..

*school*

I walked into school getting the usual glares nd walked into my class and sat down minding my business

"Oh look it's Emily, being a loner" said Rebecca (aka the most popular girl in school)

I just sat quiet until chandler walked in I smiled at him but he just rolled his eyes and went to Rebecca and swallowing her throat..

I think they saw me glancing because Rebecca broke up their full on make out session and went to me and said
" How bout stop staring and get a life, you should just go with your mom"

I started to feel my cheeks getting red and hot water leaking out my eyes, I couldn't take it no more and I ran to the bathroom

I sat on the floor and cried , how could someone so cruel say that, why does everybody hate me.. I should of been in that car with my mom.. Nobody will even notice I'm gone........

The only person I truly have in the world is chandlers brother mike.. He understands what I grow through and helps me out but he goes to and different school and went to visit his grandma .. I really need him

My thoughts were inturupted when I heard

"Hey who's in here, are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine" I said while standing up i try to put a smile on my face even though imside I'm dying in pain

"What's your name?" the voice said
"Emily, you can go now" I snuggled

"I'm Sam, Sam Daniels do you need help?"