Serene Collision

Special: Carmins Private Journal Entry#2

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-malayjahthewriter

He was mad at me.

I lied to him about being sick. I wasn't trying to be an asshole or anything. I just didn't want him to catch my fever. I knew if I told him I was sick, he'd try to get all close to me, and my germs.

He yelled at me, then he refused to leave my house.

I've seen him mad before, but this was different. I didn't like the look he was giving me. He wasn't even glaring, he was frowning.It made my stomach feel all weird and the guilt....the fucking guilt doubled.

I should be more honest with him.He's always honest with me, no matter what I ask.But honesty isn't something I'm good with.

Honesty can cause trouble. Honesty can upset the other person, so I almost always choose the other route.

Like whenever my brother asks me if I'm alright, or if Dr. Jones asks me if I've been smoking weed...Or if Grandma asks me if I've been having bad dreams.

I'm just so used to it.

Leo doesn't like it. And even though I was all germy he still wanted to lay with me. I don't understand him.

He stayed with me the whole night.

I've never in my life met someone who wanted to be next to me as much as Leo does.

It's refreshing....I would think he would get tired of my snarkiness after a while, but he doesn't seem to mind it. I don't do or say much to begin with, so I can't imagine what type of fun he's having while he's with me.

He's my boyfriend now. That thought more than anything is constantly on my mind.The second thought is the fact that we kissed. We kissed, in his apartment, in his bed.

My lips wouldn't stop tingling.I always thought the act of transferring saliva was disgusting and incredibly unsanitary, but I don't mind it with Leo.

He tastes nice.

We fought over the blankets afterwards, like a couple of fucking toddlers. He's such a playful idiot. A playful idiot who keeps a straight face.

That night he smiled the most I've ever seen him in one night.

That same night, he talked about Ryu, and how he's jealous of him and all that. I admitted something of my own. How I was jealous of Aliyah.

It seemed like such an embarrassing thing to admit out loud. I was surprised when Leo did it first. I was going to, but I didn't know how to approach him about it. Or if it mattered or...what I was expecting to change.

He skipped school with me while I was sick. He spent day and night with me. I told him to go back home, but that would only make him angry, and make him further insist on staying. He never listens to me.

I wasn't sleepy much, so we stayed up and watched movies. Well Leo didn't watch the movie. He just kept asking me about my symptoms, and if I was feeling any better, and the last time I took medicine, and if I had actually eaten dinner.

He's so....

I can't even begin to fathom why he likes me. I often think back to the day he confessed..I thought he was trying torture me with the kiss on the cheek.I was so sure it was nothing more than that.

But he confessed to me. Just straight confessed.

I would have been scared out of my mind.

I would never be brave enough to initiate anything concerning romance. It seems like Leo always knows what to do, and how this whole dating thing goes.He...I wish I could do more. It's kind of frustrating because I don't know what to do. I don't know how to be in a relationship. And I don't know how to ask him, or tell him.

Leo doesn't seem to have a problem though. He just likes talking and being together, watching movies, and phone calls.

I tried asking Nic, since he has had boyfriends. All of which he cried over by the way.

He just says, it's more than enough to just be happy together.

I searched the ends of the internet for an article on dating. It was all useless.Nothing would specifically tell me how to date Leo. I just want to make sure I'm doing everything right, and I'm too....I don't know what I'm trying to write.

He's staring at me right now, as I write this. The dude is a total creep. Every time I catch him he just keeps on staring. He's at the end of the bed, we're supposed to be watching a movie.

I like to be alone like this with Leo. He just doesn't expect much.

Nic expects me to talk, my grandma and cousins expect me to be sad, and my brother expects me to be deranged.

Leo just chills with me.

It's nice.

And now he's poking my leg, And now he's begging for a kiss. Still begging-

This dude is obsessed with kissing. He likes it so much. I like it too, but I refuse to be a pervert about it.

And he's still begging. Now he's threatening to tickle me. I hate that. He loves to do that shit because he knows it makes me laugh, but I hate it. It makes me want to punch him in the face.

I don't like laughing, I like snarking in the corner.

He's such a crazy guy. He's pretty quiet with everyone else, but when we're alone he's always talking.

He's always making me tell him he's my boyfriend.

"Piccolina who's your boyfriend?"

I hear this question from him at least two times a day. If I don't answer him he'll pout, or get all gloomy.

I don't know why he's obsessed with hearing me say it if he knows we're together. I don't always answer him, but after a while of him sulking I have to. It's not fair.

After I cave and tell him, he'll smile at me. Then he'll hug me and ask for a kiss.I've been sick the whole week, so he's been kissing my wrist like a weirdo.

He's such a crazy guy.

Well...Now he's my crazy guy.

Hehehhehehhe.
Too cute.
See you on the 21st.
-malayjahthewriter