Things I Never Said

"i'm dedicating this to all the people who left me"

This is for you, Ms. OCD,

for even though you have a boyfriend, a perfect family and an luxurious life,

you still find things to complain about.

You made me feel bad, 

that God knows if I ever told you what my life was really like,

with no boys dying for my attention,

and a broken-home-trying-to-patch-itself-back-together,

making sure I looked like a nice, clean slate

so I could feel unjudged.

But now we’re not together,

it’s kind of weird when I have to move my shoulder when you walk by

so we don’t exchange the fake “Sorry!”’s 

that are involved when being polite to people we aren’t fond of.

This also goes out to Best Friend #1 and Best Friend #2,

who now get the honorary “Ex-” in front of their titles.

And even though we had fun,

you probably thought I was dumb,

because you ended up leaving me.

Which is okay,

because I realized I was kind of a handful to deal with.

But now you both are happy, 

(which is what I’ve always wanted for you two),

still being best friends 

but with other people.

I guess you guys were lessons for me

more than friends.

Let’s not forget The Girl Who I Thought Was Awesome,

whom I should actually call 

“Wait! Let’s Talk About Me.”

I guess I accepted it.

After all, you had everything I wanted

maybe it was nice hearing about it.

After I realized all we did was talk about you,

your life, your clothes, your family, your room,

your problems, your boyfriend

everything you could label as “mine”.

Then I started to think that

“Man, maybe I shouldn’t want to hear about this?”

But I decided to stay your friend

Until you started to talk to other people

about me.

I’d also like to recognize The Boy Who Made Me Feel Special,

which is great, 

considering you probably did that to another girl at the same time.

But don’t worry, 

we weren’t dating

it was nothing serious.

But you did compliment me with every chance you got,

and complained about this one girl who tried to be your girlfriend all the time.

Her name was Kirsten, right?

But you totally didn’t hurt my feelings by suddenly ignoring me

and ending whatever that was 

by finally saying

“I’m sorry, you’re great, but I’m with my girlfriend. You remember Kirsten?”