Just Plain Stupid

Things People Say

N/A Not all these are mine, they're taken from other sources then put into my words.

"Are we there yet?"  ~~ Really? Do you think that if we were there yet that I'd still be driving?

"OMG! There's nothing to eat!" ~~Darlin' your standing in front of the stupid refigerator that is stuffed full of food... 'nough said.

"Did you see that!" (Usually said in a movie theater with an elbow accompanying it) Appropriate response? "Naw, I just paid $12 to stare at the dang floor!"

"Mom!" ~~You do realize the louder you scream the more she ignores, right?

"I'm only human." ~~So am I, can I use that excuse for being stupid too? Or is it copyrighted for just you? And if it is what are the rest of us supposed to use?

"Same difference." ~~... It can't be the same if it's different...

"I, personally..." ~~ You already made it personal by saying "I" so why did you also say personally?

"I thought to myself," ~~Thinking is usually to yourself, unless of course you talk to yourself...

"I saw it with my own eyes!" ~~Wait- what? Do you normally see things with other peoples eyes? Because that's just creepy.

"Can I ask you a question?" ~~You just asked one.

"Like taking candy from a baby." ~~Are you really so cruel as to steal candy from an innocent, little child? And besides, they become monsters when you try to take their candy...

"I don't mean to interrupt." ~~Then why the heck are you interrupting me?

"You can't have have your cake and eat it too." ~~Then why, may I ask, do I have the cake in the first place? Is it a fake cake? Or poisoned? And who are you to decide whether or not I can eat this fluffy deliciousness in the first place? What are you the king of cakes? Ruler of all sweet goodness in life? I think you are stupid, that's why you are on my list.

"A word from our sponser!" ~~*Shudder* The longest word in history is a word from our sponser.

"That's what I'm talkin' about!" ~~Actually, that is what I was talking about, go talk about your own crap and then you can say that.

"It's always the last place you look!" ~~That would be because I'm smart enough to stop looking once I've freakin' found _____. (Fill in the blank)

"Got up on the wrong side of the bed." ~~Question. What is the wrong side of the bed? And if we know which is the wrong side why don't we just put that side against the wall so we always wake up on the right side?

"The grass is always greener on the other side." ~~I pulled up some dirt to check out this one, there's dirt, dirt isn't green at all.

"Break a leg!" ~~I'd rather not, it sounds pretty painful... How does that mean "good luck" again?

"You are what you eat." ~~I bite my nails... I resent being called a cannibal.

"Curiousity killed the cat." ~~(My personal favorite) First off, are you calling me a cat? Who cares how the cat died? And what is it that the dumb cat was curious about that got it killed? Does the cat have a name? Or is it just hypothetical? Why do we care how stupid little kitty died in the first place? Where is he now? Since we all care about about the cat, where is it buried?

N/A More updates to come!