Fighting the Losing Battle

Chapter 10 - Time to Decide

I know, I know, it's been 2 whole months since I updated, and I can't tell you how sorry I am for not updating sooner, but honestly? I have had literally NO time - I have had a load of college stuff on, and other stuff outside of college as well, and it means I have been up working into the early hours of the morning every day. So I have had no time at all to write. SORRY! But hopefully (though I can't promise anything!) I will get a couple more chapters written (for at least one of my stories!) over Christmas. I have to warn you though, once I get back to college, I am going to be even busier than before, so there may not be anymore updates after the holidays for a couple of months (or if there are, they will be VERY irregular, depending on when I get time to write). So I apologise for that in advance!

This chapter has been in the works for a while now, and has taken ages to write - which is strange for me (usually I write a chapter in one go), but I have done my best! Any advice, as always, is welcome, as are any other comments! I love to hear what you guys think! :)

Unedited - Will be edited at a later date!

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Enjoy! :) x

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Lukas POV

I should have realised the reasons behind my summoning. I should have known that it would be about her. I should have guessed.

Even though I suspected what they would be, it is a struggle to hear those condemning words being spoken, out loud. It's different, hearing them spoken aloud; it's harder to pretend that they don't exist together. Adrian, without realising it, has just turned my nightmares into a heart-wrenching reality.

"All day, all night. I need you there constantly. We may have her now, but she's smart. She will no doubt be plotting, even now, trying to find a way out. I can't let her escape. I need her, and I need her alive, okay?"

My choice should be simple: prove my loyalty, or die a traitor, scorned by the only people I can really call a family – even if they don't feel the same towards me. It should be so simple. But it isn't. I am facing an impossible choice. Guarding her, somehow I know, is the one thing that could break me. If my feelings are this intense after one brief second of eye contact, how could I possibly keep them at bay, every day, every night, knowing that she is on the other side of that door? How would I bear the insufferable pain of my longing? I don't think I could last long. It would either kill me, or I would end up doing something I would regret – like trying to see her again. That would no doubt lead to me talking to her, getting to know her, falling for her harder... And there is nothing that would get me killed faster than falling in love with the enemy. I knew there was a reason I swore to avoid her.

Adrian seems to take my silence as his cue to continue.

"As a part of the standard guard procedure, you would be expected deliver food to her, to deliver any messages to her, just to make sure she is kept alive, basically. But there's something else. Something extra. I need you to do something more for me – think of it as proving your loyalty to us completely. Do this for us, and your previous mistakes will be forgotten, I give you my word."

My heart stops, just for a second. Whatever it is, it must be important. The room falls instantly silent, as though it too realises the gravity of Adrian's words; the air, cold and frosty, grows still. Nobody moves. I daren't even breathe, for fear of breaking the uncomfortable atmosphere. Time seems to freeze, like the air, but only a second or two can have passed. Adrian's eyes, bulging and wide and unflinching, never once leave mine, as though assessing my inner thoughts. I can feel the familiar burning sensation of oxygen deprivation crawling up through my lungs, seeping into every cell. I know I will have to give in eventually. Still, Adrian does not move. How does he not need to breathe!? Shaking, I fight the urge to inhale, but my body craves the relief of oxygen too much, and forces me to breathe in, deeply. I flinch at the sound: a reverberate, rasping intake, that cuts through the silence without falter, haunting the air as it clings on to every particle. It is only then that Adrian shifts, proving, once again, that he is the one in control of every situation. Certain that he has my complete attention, he delivers the death sentence.