Heather

Belle of the Ball

My heart is pacing faster than normal, it could be the aftermath of my breakout or the coffee Jen gave me ten minutes ago, it could be the anticipation of meeting the man who's wrecked my mind in less than two days. The wait testing my nerves.

My mind is racing, going through scenarios like a junky goes through his stash. A thousand possibilities of how this meeting goes, from good to bad to nightmarish. An echo of a thought is persistent in all of them. An outlandish idea of my past knocking on my steps.

My reprieve is broken when Jen rushes into the conference room, "He's here and there are a bunch of people with him."

"How many?" "Three plus one's" "Just three, that's a shame considering I have you" I grin at her. "No time to butter me up boss, it's time to kick ass." I chuckle as I get up to greet my new interim co-workers. My smile evaporates when familiar faces greet me. Why is this happening to me? I stand frozen in front of the man I have been unable to forget or forgive. He looks older, his eyes harder, a few greys, a light scruff. The rest of him looks the same, he stands just as tall, and confident but a little hostile. He is the same yet so different. My traitorous heart beats faster at the sight of him. Wanting to break free from my chest and go to him. I don't let it, I remind myself of his betrayal. I won't say it's enough to break free of the spell He has on me, but it's enough to get me back to my senses. I banish my heart, with all feelings and emotions to a corner far out of my reach.

I take a step back almost subconsciously and focus on the rest of the group, Jonah, Anna and Milo. I greet them with a passive face. "It is a pleasure to meet you all. Welcome to Sequoia." Jonah and Anna have a twin expression of hurt at my blatant lack of acknowledgement of our past relationship, Milo is indifferently annoyed. Matteo may have broken my trust, but sometimes their betrayal hurts more than his. I considered them my family, a home away from home. Yet they lied to me, all of them. Jen asks them all to take a seat, sensing tension she takes it upon herself to be the buffer.

"We understand that Mr. Austin and your Father agreed that you work with us for fifteen days to see if a potential partnership is the best for us."

She addresses Matteo, but he's too busy staring at me to reply, there is anger in them, and I can't figure out why, he doesn't have a right to be angry. Anna replies in his stead.

"We want to partner with you on any one project and see it to completion. Not strictly a fifteen-day deadline."

Jen raises her eyebrow at the proposition, a 15-day trial period was absurd and although this sounds like a better plan, I am more than ready for them to leave already.

"What makes you think we are going to agree to that? You are strangers to us, we aren't going to let you be a part of a project because you come highly recommended, Miss."

"Anna. This is Jonah and that's Milo, now you know us so it shouldn't be a problem and we aren't strangers, are we Heather?"

She looks at me, her tone soft but sarcastic. I am both familiar and a stranger to her, she knew me as Heather Mae, a runaway and not Heather Austin. I feel guilty, however I can't afford to show any weakness without knowing what he is here for. Jen looks at me perplexed. I hesitate to acknowledge our shared past. Afraid of the floodgates it will nudge open.

I let my thoughts stray back to the night Bee feel sick, he was so frail and scared. He wailed in my arms after a fever induced bad dream, where he couldn't find me. The second his eyes fluttered open he wailed into my arms. "Mommy don't go, I only want mommy." A lump of emotions builds up in my throat. A storm seems to be brewing on the horizon and my feet are taking me straight to it, with no hope of escaping from the past that's become my present once again. I gather what is left of my senses and address all of them but mostly myself.