ChaoticCareBear

hii we havent talked in a while just wanted to see how u are after all this time

hey :)

666 followers, hell yeah

My dysphoria’s been at an all time high recently and now it’s causing to have trouble sleeping. I’m getting my first binder soon and I’m gonna talk to my therapist about it all but if anyone has any tips on how to deal with gender dysphoria, I’m all ears.
          
          Also (TW: Transphobia) I told my dad about me being genderqueer and he kinda just told me to be open minded to being a girl and basically said that my dysphoria’s probably just an awkward phase. He also said that I’d never pass as a boy and that he’d really like me to remain a girl. I didn’t really expect much more out of that conversation but I haven’t really felt happy since then. I’ve kinda just been finger gunning while sobbing my way through life after that. But in all seriousness I can’t sleep anymore, showering’s getting harder, my flesh feels like solitary confinement and now, overall, it just feels like my life is hanging by a thread. On top of all of the awful shit happening in the world 2020 has really been just... Hell in a nutshell, huh?

Someone just hacked into my twitter account (from California) and my Spotify account (from Germany) Wattpad I’m so fucking tired of your shit

Hey what the hap is fuckening with this website and why did it have to happen while I was gone. 
          
          m scared i already had to abandon my last email address cause of hacks :((

I just watched Corpse Bride for the first time and :(( I cried, I love Emily so much. Victor and Victoria are so cute together though and I love them too but like I’d marry Emily in a heartbeat if she asked, she’s so awesome to me :(( the ending had me in tears, I hope she’s living her best life in the land of the dead now 
          
          Also I’m learning Victor’s song on piano and it’s gonna take me a few years but you gotta start somewhere I guess heh
          
          Also also my dog is currently barking in his sleep and it sounds like a person choking underwater and I don’t know if I should wake him up or not-
          
          But yeah it’s 3:33am what’s up? How’s everything? 

So here’s the thing y’all, I have about 50 drafts that I’ve not worked on in literal years. I might actually start playing with them in the future and post them on a different account or just, I don’t know, write for fun somewhere private, but for now, let’s make fun of 13 year old me. Pick a number, 1-50, and I’ll tell you which draft you got and a summary of what I wrote there. 
          
          Prepare for cringe culture to revive itself due to the potent angst energy that flourished from my middle school edge lord plant just three years ago. Yeehaw.

Today was a good day
          
          I got to buy myself some things. Like a Tracer plushy, and a squishy. I also ate fruit. And my headache is only pretty bad. Cool cool.
          
          Also, if you like funny, adorable, talented, and sweet people, please check out SnapCube (Penny Parker) on YouTube. She’s absolutely amazing and brightens up each and every one of my days with her comedy and kindness. ^^ Her and her friends are really funny and nice and I’m sure that y’all would absolutely love them. 

So check it, I have to compare and contrast Macbeth to a film adaptation of the original play and the one that I picked, mind you, out of the options listed on my school website, included a foursome with Macbeth and the three witches.. and honestly? I’m very confused. Not only because in the original play Macbeth called them hags but in this one he’s literally fucking each of them and cheating on his wife throughout the whole goddamn film but because the girls were really pretty (Maccy was a little eh to me) and I kinda just... watched it with a straight face? Like, I didn’t feel a single thing? At all? And now that I think about it, the idea of sex has never really appealed to me that much? It kinda grosses me out to actually see it? I don’t even like reading it usually, I kinda just glaze over it now. And uh... yeah. It took me this long to actually wonder if I may be asexual, or something under that umbrella. I don’t know though, I’m still figuring things out but hey, foursome. Can’t wait to write about that in my powerpoint presentation.