Coldopen Stories

Being an account of how the Demon Crowley, Serpent of the Garden of Eden, fell in love with Principality Aziraphale, Guardian of the Eastern Gate, and a correction of the account of the same event timeline regarding the Principality Aziraphale, an extraordinarily biased account which left out all of Aziraphale's best moments in a fit of misplaced humility.

Some people are born great. Some achieve greatness. And some wake up as a Wi-Fi-enabled refrigerator with a vengeance complex. Lucian Vargo was once a ruthless vampire CEO with empires at his command. Now he's trapped in the steel body of a prototype smart fridge ignored by janitors, dismissed as a "drama fridge," and forced to wage war with Post-its and diagnostics. But power never goes quietly. Armed with ego, sarcasm, and the world's most passive-aggressive ice maker, Lucian plots his way back into the network. A fast, funny techno-satire about ambition, arrogance, and how hard it is to conquer the world when your only power is defrost mode