Ryan
"I'd recommend taking some ibuprofen tonight, it'll help until your body gets used to this," Blaine said while giving my shoulder a comforting pat.
"Thanks," I said with a laugh before watching Jesse dramatically wipe the sweat off his forehead.
"God it's hotter than balls out here," Jesse said with a groan. "I can't wait for winter."
He grumbled the entire way into the house which only made me laugh. Spending the day with them had actually been really nice. I enjoyed working on the farm and actually taking my mind off of everything else shitty in my life. And even though I was sweaty and gross right now, the feeling of accomplishment was something I haven't felt in a long time. I know I definitely forgot what it felt like to have people be nice to me. Or having people believing in me.
Speaking of nice people, I hadn't been able to get Willow out of my head the entire day. After walking inside I quickly walked up the steps, my heart already doing a weird flop just thinking about seeing him again. However once I walked into his room I stopped short when I didn't see him. Just as I was about to turn around and look somewhere else, a quiet sob made me instantly turn around.
Walking around the bed I suddenly saw him sitting on the floor, his knees pulled up into his chest. His head was resting on his knees as sobs were quietly coming from him.
"Willow?" I asked while sinking down onto the floor next to him, those sad eyes looking up at me. My hand instantly came out and rested onto his cheek, his head instantly leaning into it. "What happened?"
"It's over," he whispered as big tears were rolling down his cheeks. "My, my doctor called. He said I can't skate professionally right now in case I mess my back up even more."
"Oh Willow," I said while wrapping my arms around him and pulling him into my body. "I'm so sorry."
He then started crying harder into my chest, his fingers clinging to my shirt. "He said it'll take five months before I'm better, if my back cooperates."
After that he started crying harder, making my heart hurt. Not only did it hurt to see his dream crumble, it also hurt knowing I was the idiot who caused it. If I hadn't of texted him and thrown him off his game, he'd be going to the Olympics. Could I be even more of an awful person? I couldn't think about that right now though because Willow was hurting. And I needed him to know I'd be here for him, just like he was for me.
Carefully lifting him off the ground, I lowered him onto the bed and made sure to cover his body with multiple blankets. He buried his face into my chest as his fingers tightly held onto my shirt. I wish I knew how to make this kind of pain go away for him because he didn't deserve this.
**
The rest of the night Willow cried, especially when his father came in to see what had happened. After that he eventually cried himself to sleep, the room becoming weirdly silent. When he woke up the sun was starting to creep into the windows. Those sad blue eyes blankly looked up at me as I gently ran my fingers through his hair.
"How about a shower?" I whispered, hoping it might make him feel better. He was silent for a few moments before slowly shrugging.
Helping him out of bed I took his smaller hand in mine and led him towards the bathroom. After turning the water on I asked, "Do you want pajamas or normal clothes?"
"Pajamas."
Giving his hand a small squeeze I quickly walked back into his room to grab some more clothes. It felt weird to go through his underwear drawer but I forced myself to stop thinking like that. I shouldn't be feeling butterflies in my stomach just from touching his boxers, especially when he was going through a rough time. I definitely was an awful person.
He was in the same spot when I got back into the bathroom, still just silently staring at the wall. After checking the water temperature I made sure he had towels before asking, "Do you need any help?"
When he didn't respond I shut the bathroom door and took a deep breath. He didn't move as I carefully took his shirt off, his creamy skin coming into view. His body was so lean and fit, exactly how I always thought it would look. It made him look that much more graceful. I couldn't wait for the day when I'd get to explore his body properly.
As I let his shirt drop onto the floor he suddenly ran his fingers over his right wrist. "This was where I was going to get my Olympics ring tattoo."
When he started crying I slowly lifted his hand up, kissing the delicate skin on his wrist. "And you will Willow. You'll get that tattoo in four years. Your skating career isn't over."
After giving his wrist another kiss I started to lower his pajama pants down his long legs, helping him to step out of them. As I stood back up his arms were suddenly wrapping around my neck. He then pulled me down to his level and covered my lips with his. My entire body reacted to his mouth as his fingers buried into my hair. His lips were desperately kissing me, my arms wrapping around his bare torso. Even though this was the kiss I've always wanted and always waited for, I pulled back.
He whimpered when I pulled back, his sad eyes looking up at me. "Can I not even have you?"
"Willow," I whispered while placing a hand onto his cheek. "You have to trust me when I tell you that you already have me. But I don't want this side of us to happen when you're not in the best mindset. I'm not going to push myself on you when you're sad. Okay? But I'm not going anywhere."
With a nod he wiped his eyes as I led him over to the shower. Once he was facing the shower curtain he was then lowering his boxers down, my heart jumping into my throat. I watched the fabric roll down his legs, my eyes instantly drawn to his absolutely perfect ass. Fuck, his body was seriously perfect. He was perfect. And this was not the time to be ogling over him.
"Feel free to come downstairs when you're done, I'm going to make some food for you."
"Okay," he said while stepping into the shower.
After shutting the door behind me, I took a deep breath while running my hands over my face. Holy fucking shit balls, I'll never forget the feeling of his lips on mine. I'd been wanting to do that for as long as I could remember, but didn't want him to think I'd only want to kiss him if he was in this state. My fingers shook as I touched my lips, a smile creeping onto my face. He was the first man I'd ever kiss and already couldn't wait to do it again. But I needed him to feel better first.
Taking another deep breath, I wandered downstairs and towards the kitchen. His sisters were sitting at the island, their eyes instantly looking towards me. It was crazy how much they all looked like each other. This entire family had really good genes.
"How is he?" Avery quietly asked.
"Not great," I said with a frown. "I have him taking a shower right now, I told him I was going to make him something to eat."
"There's fruit in the fridge," Scarlett said, her face sad. "I can't believe he's not able to go this year. I know how much he wanted this."
After grabbing different items from the fridge, I started to cut fruit up as Avery got a waffle maker out. "He loves blueberry waffles," she quietly said while getting some bowls out to help. "I'm glad you were able to get him out of bed. I'm really worried about him though."
Scarlett then got up and started helping to cut fruit with me. "I'm worried about him too," she said before looking up at me. "But I think out of everyone you're the one who can turn him around."
"Did your dad tell you guys everything?" I asked while cutting up blueberries for the batter.
Avery nodded before saying, "He told us after he checked on Willow last night, after his coach Ned had called him. I guess Ned had been trying to call Willow all day and he was getting worried. I am truly happy you're here Ryan, out of everyone I know he'll listen to you."
We stayed in a silence after that, helping each other make breakfast. Just as the first batch of waffles were done, soft footsteps were walking towards us. The sight of a dejected Willow made me frown, his eyes not making eye contact as he walked towards us. He was then walking right up to me, resting his head onto my chest.
"You hungry?" I asked against his damp hair. When he shook his head I said, "How about we just eat some bites?"
"Okay," he whispered.
His fingers held onto me as we walked over to the table, his body slumping down into a chair. I could feel his sisters looking at him worriedly as I started cutting up his waffles, holding a fork out towards him. When he didn't do anything I said, "Willow, will you please eat? It'll make me feel better."
That made him open his mouth and swallow some waffle. I got him to eat some fruit as well and also drink some orange juice before Blaine and Jesse walked into the kitchen. I didn't miss the worried looks they also gave him but Willow didn't seem to notice.
"Hey Willow," Scarlett said while sliding down into a chair next to him. "I'm going into the city to get some new jeans. Want to come?"
"No thanks."
"You sure? We could get some fast food; get some of the onion rings you like."
"No."
She frowned more as I handed him more piece of a waffle. Luckily he was still eating but after a while he stopped, leaning his head onto my shoulder. After putting an arm around him I pulled him closer into me before kissing his hair.
"Are you sure you don't want to go?" I asked while looking down at him. "That sounds pretty good to me." When it seemed like he was going to say no I asked, "Want me to come with you?"
"You'd want to?"
"I'd love to."
He thought about it for a moment, my fingers lightly running over his scalp. "Okay."
"How about you go get changed and I'll clean this up."
He gave a small nod before getting up and slowly leaving the room. "Wow," Avery said as I started to clean up our plates.
"What?"
"He's never listened to someone like that before," Blaine said as Mina and Johnny's laughter filled the house.
Everyone looking at me was making my skin itch. "I'm just glad I can make him feel a little better. When were you going to leave Scarlett?"
"I was going to get Johnny ready and I should probably put some deodorant on."
"Yeah no kidding," Jesse said before Scarlett punched his arm.
I couldn't help but smile while looking around at everyone. I hadn't even known these people for very long but they were making me feel so welcome already. It made me never want to leave which was also concerning. How could I be getting so attached to this family? I didn't want to become so attached to people if I was only going to fuck things up in the end.
"Ryan?"
Snapping out of my own thoughts, I looked up to see Scarlett looking at me with worry. "Sorry, what?"
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I am. I'll be back down later."
After all the dishes were cleaned I wandered back upstairs and found Willow in his room, pulling on a pair of sweats. He was then pulling a sweatshirt on over his head before looking over at me with tired eyes. When I walked over to him and kissed his forehead, he gave a very small smile. That small smile was giving me hope that we'd be able to make it through this. One day at a time.
Willow
I yawned while running a hand over my face while continuing to stir the batter in front of me. Between physical therapy and resting, I felt like I did absolutely nothing anymore. However I did enjoy watching Ryan out in the field, and loved when he wiped his face off with his shirt. Memories of kissing him in the bathroom will always give me embarrassment; I don't even know why I had done that. Apparently craving physical touch will make you do some pretty crazy things. Luckily it didn't seem to affect anything between us, even if I still wanted to bash my head into a wall just thinking about it.
After popping the last of the banana walnut chocolate chip cookies I was making into the oven, my eyes wandered outside. A smile spread across my face while seeing Ryan out there, until my back started to hurt. My smile instantly faded before I sat down into a chair with a frown. Normally if I was hurt at all I couldn't wait to feel better and get back out onto the ice. But for some reason, now, I had no interest in skating right now. Maybe I hit my head too hard when I fell or something; why else would I be losing interest in the only thing I've ever loved?
Once all the cookies were finally done, I wandered back upstairs and got back onto my bed. Before too long my eyes were shutting once again, because basically all I did anymore was sleep. A sudden noise was making me jump and open my eyes, realizing the sun had actually set a little. I wiped my eyes before looking up and seeing Ryan taking his shirt off, my mouth feeling very dry.
He was then turning around which made me quickly close my eyes so he wouldn't think I was a stalker. I could hear the distant sound of a shower being turned on as I slowly sat up and stretched. I wandered downstairs to grab some cookies and all but ran into Avery in the kitchen.
"Hey," she said with a smile. "How're you feeling?"
"Eh," I said with a shrug. "Could be better."
I carefully walked around her and picked up some cookies as she asked, "Do you think you're going to go to the rink at all soon?"
My entire body tensed just thinking about skating again. "Why would I? I'm not training for anything."
"Just because you aren't training doesn't mean you can't go for fun."
"It isn't fun for me to go there anymore."
"I just don't think you should be holed up in here all day." When I didn't respond she came over to put a gentle hand on my arm. "I'm just trying to look out for you. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm being overprotective of you but Willow, I love you. And maybe I stepped into the 'mom' roll too much when mom died, when all you needed was a big sister. And I didn't want you to think I thought of you as a son and was trying to be overbearing or anything. I just..." She took a deep breath before giving me a shaky smile. "I love you so much. And it hurts my heart seeing you be so sad right now and knowing I can't do anything to help you."
My heart sunk when her eyes started to get misty. I was then wrapping my arms around her and pulling her closer, my face burying into her shirt. "I'm sorry if I've been snippy to you over the years. But Avery," I said while pulling back. "I'm always going to be your little brother. I just don't need constant supervision like I did when I could barely walk. I appreciate everything you've ever done for me; this is just something I'm trying to process myself."
She nodded before giving my cheek a kiss. "But you know you don't need to process this yourself. There is a certain gentleman friend who lives here now," she said while wiggling her eyebrows up and down.
I laughed while pulling back, feeling my cheeks light up. "Yeah it's... nice having him here."
"Have you guys kissed yet?"
"Avery," I groaned while covering my face with my hands.
"Oh come on! As your sister I deserve to know all the juicy details. And let me tell you, he is one delicious man."
After another groan I started laughing. "Well, I think I might have rushed things." With that I told her about him helping me into the shower while feeling so incredibly numb, and how I launched myself at him.
"He sounds like a very good man Willow, one that cares about you intensely. How about going on a date night?"
"I wouldn't even know what to do or where to go. And... I don't think either of us would feel comfortable going out in public."
"You don't need to go out in public; you can do something sweet here. Judging by the way he looks at you he'd enjoy that." When my face lit up with another blush she wrapped her arms back around me in a bone crushing hug. "Trust me, he's in this."
"Thank you," I whispered before pulling back.
With that I grabbed some more cookies and slowly walked upstairs before turning a corner and almost running right into Ryan's wet chest. One of his hands instantly came out to steady me as I slowly looked up at his face. Water droplets were still dripping down his strong shoulders, my eyes then taking in the fact that he was only in a towel.
"Careful," he whispered.
Since I was shorter than him I came face to face with the tattoo on his pec, the one I've always been curious about. There were swirls of color on his skin that seemed to form a figure in the middle.
"Can I... ask about this?" I whispered while gently touching the tattoo.
When he remained silent I worried I crossed a line until looking up at his face. His face was so soft as he was staring down at me. "Can I change into some shorts real fast?"
"Oh my god," I said. "Of course! I'm sorry."
He smiled, his thumb running over my skin. "Don't apologize."
"I'm uhm... going to use the bathroom real fast. And I'll let you change."
With that I all but ran into the bathroom and tightly shut the door behind me. The bathroom smelled fresh and clean and basically wrapped around me like a scarf. This was definitely what I was worried about, having such intense feelings for him. But the scent of soap and just, him, was helping me to calm down enough where I could step out of the bathroom feeling better.
The door to my room was now open and I could see Ryan sitting on the bed. He looked up at me as I entered and patted the space next to him on the comforter. He was still shirtless but now had on a pair of plaid pajama pants, making him look that much more delectable. God, I had to get myself together.
"I remember seeing this senior year," I said while nodding down towards the tattoo. "You were bragging about it in the hallways."
He laughed, looking slightly embarrassed as he ran a hand over his scruffy face. "Yeah, I wish I hadn't of been so arrogant back then. But... I was kind of hoping you'd see it."
"Me? Why?"
After another nervous laugh he said, "This tattoo is special to me. I got it after finally allowing myself to start thinking about my life in a different way. I was allowing myself to finally be happy and it was all because of you." My face lit up as he gently took my hand in his and placed it onto his chest. My fingers ran over his skin as he took a shaky breath. "I knew you were a skater when we were younger, everyone had always talked about you. Even though I had never seen you skate, I had a pretty active imagination. I had all these images of what it would look like when you were flying around the ice and twirling. I liked to think about the fairy I always knew would look so graceful while skating."
"You... you got this about me when you hadn't even seen me skate in person?"
Now he did look nervous as my fingers continued to run over his skin. "It makes me sound odd when you put it like that."
"Not odd Ryan," I said before nervously swallowing. I couldn't stop the tears from forming into my eyes. "I just had no idea that you felt that way back then."
"I was so nervous to allow myself to think about you like that. Then one day I just woke up and said fuck it. I told everyone I was drunk and told the tattoo artist to do whatever, but I definitely was not drunk and knew exactly what I wanted. I've wanted you for so long Willow, and I just wanted something to remind myself that I could think like this. It really helped me get through so much. And when I saw you in New York, when I was a total dick, watching you live was how I always imagined it. And I couldn't stop thinking about my tattoo because you're always going to remind me of a graceful fairy."
I was full on crying now as I wrapped my arms around his neck. His long arms wrapped around me and pulled me closer into his body, making me feel safe. "That was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me, ever."
After pulling back a little he gently wiped the tears off of my face. One of his large hands was then landing onto the side of my neck before pulling me closer. His lips were then covering mine and basically sending me into shock. His head then tilted before deepening the kiss and making goosebumps form all over my body. I then accidentally pulled him too close to me, making us both fall back onto the bed.
I couldn't help but laugh while my back hit the bed, Ryan also laughing above me. "You'll always be the sweetest thing to me," he said while staring down at me.
My arms then pulled him back down to my level so I could kiss him again. When his fingers were suddenly ticking my sides I was then loudly laughing as he laughed with me. Even though there was a still lot uncertain about my life, this moment was perfect. And this was the moment I'd always remember when I was down or nervous about anything. This was the moment that would help get me through anything.