The light sneaking in from beneath the curtains shines across my face, waking me up.I attempt to sit up, but Hayden's weight makes it quite difficult. He has his arm wrapped tightly around my waist, pinning me down in place. I'm drenched in sweat from his excessive body heat. This whole situation feels weird. I'm not used to waking up next to someone else.
"Hayden, wake up, please" I beg, nudging him in the ribs.
A part of me longs for us to stay like this all day, but I know it's not realistic. Skylar can walk in at any minute, and we don't need that.I don't feel like explaining myself and my reasonings to her right now. It's nobody's business but mine. And honestly, after he brushed me off last night, my self-esteem isn't the greatest.
"Hayden, get up," I hiss even louder than before. I'm becoming more and more aggravated, thinking about his rejection. Who does he think he is? Does he think he's too good for me?He finally stirs a little, his eyes barely open.
"You're pretty annoying in the mornings. Did you know that?" he whines, pulling the pillow over his face.
"Shut up," I laugh, smashing the pillow further against his face. "You're not that pleasant either, by the way"
Using all my strength, I'm able to slide my body out from beneath his weight. His arm drops heavily back onto the bed with a dull thud.Slipping out of bed, I grab my shower caddy and a towel. He must be in a deep sleep. He doesn't even budge when I open the door.
Lucky for me there isn't anyone in here yet and I'm able to shower in privacy. Something that I have rarely gotten to experience since moving here. That's probably one of the few things I miss about being home.
The hot water feels amazing. My skin has pruned and wrinkled by the time I shut the water off. Today must be my lucky day. The shower room is still empty as I reach out to grab my towel. I swiftly dry off, wrapping myself up. I always have to use two towels. One for my body and one for my hair. I love not having to fight April for a towel anymore.
Surprisingly, I only pass two chatty petite brunettes on my way back to the dorm. They don't even glance in my direction when I pass them.
Hayden is sitting up on the end of the bed, stretching when I enter. Both of his arms lifted straight above his head. His inked bare chest flexes with each movement he makes while also twisting from side to side.I almost lose my grip on the towel as I catch sight of him. Even waking up in the morning, he is gorgeous.
His eyes open wide, catching sight of me standing half naked in the doorway.
"You know the drill, turn around," I warn him, shooting him a death glance. My fingers grasping the towel tighter around my damp body, before darting across the room.
"No, I know what you look like and I'm not turning around," he states firmly, sitting back on the bed. His body leaning against the headboard with his legs stretched out, folding his arms in front of him.
"You are such an ass, you know that?" I bark at him. To make sure he doesn't see me, I begin dressing under my towel. Without hesitating, I slide my underwear and pants on. Then fasten my bra on over the towel. The whole time watching the sour expression on his face. I wait for the right time to rip my towel away.Then swiftly throw my shirt on over my head before he's able to get a good look at me in the daylight.
"Here's your shirt," I say, bending down, grabbing his shirt and wadding it up into a ball.I try to be slick and toss it at his head, but he catches it in the air before it can hit him. Unwading it, he shakes the wrinkles out before sliding it over his head.
"Well, I guess I'll be going. You know since someone is so grouchy in the mornings," he complains. While bending down to slide his shoes on before coming to stand behind me."Be quiet. I am not a grouch," I laugh, giving him another sharp jab with my elbow.Acting like I have offended him, he grabs my arm before I'm able to strike him again.
I inhale sharply, biting down on my lower lip.
"Do you know how sexy you look when you do that?" he purrs, pulling me in closer towards him.He wraps his muscular arms around me from behind.Slowly shifting his hips, grinding them up against me.
"Too bad for you. Someone has to be in such a bad mood. We could've had some fun," he coos. Once again, kissing my neck softly.
"But I guess I'll be seeing you around then," he whines, spinning me around. His lips smashed against mine.I can't help but notice that his mouth somehow still tastes sweet even when he first wakes up.He pulls back, giving me a quick nod before walking out the door.
I take a deep breath and lean back on to the door for support.Finally, being alone, I'm able to gather my thoughts.What am I doing? I can't keep doing this. It's so wrong. Skylar is my best friend here. My only friend, unless you count Hope. And something tells me she wouldn't have much to do with me if it wasn't for Sky.
I mean, I know it's not going anywhere with Hayden. For one, he's a man whore and I'm not going to be another notch on his belt. I can't be mad about that though. I used to be the same way. Sometimes I would wake up the next morning and not even know the name of the guy lying beside me.
For two, neither one of us has even mentioned liking the other one. Besides the obvious sexual tension. We don't even know anything about each other. After last night, it might be more me that's more attracted to him. Who knows he might be going along with it out of pity for me.
And for three, I am here to better myself. To turn my life around. Which does not include me having a hidden sexual relationship with my roommate's brother.Not to mention the fact my mom would be so upset if she knew I was slipping back into my old habits. I have done so much to hurt her in the past. It's no wonder why she was so eager to get rid of me.
Hayden definitely wouldn't fit into a category she would classify as suitable.I don't think any of the guys I've ever dated have fit into that category. Except for Zane. And that's still a long stretch.
I don't even know why I do these types of things to myself.It's almost like I'm so used to failing, I automatically set myself up for failure. Maybe my old therapist was right when she diagnosed me with self-sabotaging behaviors.I need to find something to distract myself with.
Pulling myself together, I settle on cleaning up the room. Even with me freshly making my bed, it still doesn't look as nice as hers. You can't tell by looking at it that Hayden had even laid on it.I turn the radio on to drown out my thoughts and continue cleaning. I hadn't realized what a mess we had made last night until now.
Picking up several articles of clothing, I sniff them before tossing them into the hamper.I clean up all Sky's makeup that's lying around while dancing.
There is also a bunch on the desk and the floor. Some of it even found its way under the beds.
Looking around only one thing left to do. Struggling, I drag the portable vacuum out of the closet. My nana had given it to me a couple of years back and I have only used it a handful of times. At home, we had hardwood floors. My mom hated rugs except in the bedrooms. That was even an argument sometimes.
It surprises me how easy the vacuum glides over the giant rug in the middle of the room. I'm going to take the lazy way out and vacuum over the tiled parts of the floors. It beats sweeping them.I'm so absorbed in cleaning that I don't even notice when Skylar walks in, followed by another girl.
"Hey, Bex! Thanks, girl, but you didn't have to clean my side, too. I would have done it," she says, surprised.
"It's no big deal. I'm bored," I answer her while finishing up reorganizing my books.
"You remember Sam from the bonfire, don't you?" Skylar asks nodding towards the other girl. I look up, realizing someone else is with her.Of course I remember her, unfortunately. She was the rude chick who had kept giving me evil looks all that evening. Great, just great.
"Yeah, I remember," I mumbled sarcastically, attempting to use one of my mom's fake smiles.She stares back at me with no reaction. The way she is staring at me, you would think that I have an extra head growing from somewhere.
She ignores me, turning her attention from me and sitting down on Skylar's bed. Somehow, she messed up the bed I had just made. She most likely did it out of spite. I don't know what it is about her, but I get bad vibes.
"So when are you going to put a good word in with Hayden for me?" Sam whines, putting her feet up on the bed so that Skylar can grab her mat out from underneath it.
Sky doesn't answer. Instead, she rolls her eyes in response. Ignoring her comment completely. After laying her mat down and spreading it out, she lowers herself into the splits. My groin hurts watching her. I have never been flexible like that. I tried gymnastics for a few years when my dad was still alive. It wasn't for me.
"Come on, girl, you see the way he undresses me with his eyes. Every time I see him, he stares at me like I'm a big mac. He wants me just as much as I want him," she pleads, trying to justify herself.
I watch as she picks at her dirty nails. Large chunks of black nail polish fall from her hands to the floor below. She obviously has no respect for anyone and couldn't care less that I had just finished vacuuming. She walked in as I was finishing, for crying out loud.
I already disliked this girl, but now I loathe her. Almost as much as I dislike the nameless blonde bimbo that was hanging all over him the other day. On second thought, I don't know I might dislike Sam more.
The thought of her nasty dirty hands on his body makes me nauseous. I genuinely hope that he wouldn't touch her. But then again, who knows? The way people gossip around here, he has slept with half the school. According to his sister, he would sleep with anything that stands still long enough. Well, except me, of course.
I'm thankful no one here knows anything about my past. I can only imagine the rumors that would spread. Which once again speaks volumes about me.
"Girl, get over your damn self, please. My brother may be a whore, but if he wanted you, he would have done had you. And I would put money on that," she gasps.
My stomach twist, recalling the memories of last night. The way I had thrown myself at him. I had acted so desperate and needy. No wonder he didn't want me. His rejection taught me one thing: he doesn't want me.
Sky mumbles something as she changes her position. Now she is lying flat on her back. Her arms and legs lifted straight up into the air above her.
"No offense, Sam, but it's no secret that you aren't shy about giving it up, either. So keep dreaming. If you want him so bad tell him. I'm not the messenger. Who knows, you might catch him slipping one day and get lucky," she snaps. While still somehow holding the same position."But I highly doubt it," she mumbles harshly. I can tell from her tone that she's done with the conversation.
"No need to be rude, bitch. But I guess I'm going to have to do that tonight at the bonfire. Watch, he won't be able to resist all this," Sam hisses back, motioning towards her upper and lower body.
"Are you going?" Sam sneers, whipping her head around towards me. Oh, now she finally wants to acknowledge me.She has a nasty fake grin plastered across her face. She is choosing to ignore Sky's clear intent to end the conversation.
I hadn't planned ongoing, but now I kind of want to. Bonfires seem to be a pretty big thing around here. Before coming to this school, I had only ever been to a handful of them before. And none of them were like the ones here. They were more like small gatherings of a few friends. Mainly sitting around an oversized fire, having a few beers. Here, there is massive parties with alcohol and people everywhere.
I want to go just so I can see if Sam has the balls to do what she says she is going to. And of course, so that I can see Hayden's reaction too.
"Yeah, I think I am going to go. Why is that a problem?" I snap a little harsher than I had intended to. She seems to bring out the inner bitch in me.
"No, just asking. No need to be all bitchy about it, Bess. Chill," Sam replies, giving me an even more fictitious smile. If that is even possible.
"It's Bex, just to let you know," I growl, my teeth gritted. I want to reach over so badly and smack that false smile off of her smug ugly face.
"Well, it's settled then. We can all go together," Skylar pipes up from the ground. I had forgotten for a second she was still here. She is clearly trying to ease the tension in the room.We sit in silence for a few moments. Each of us trying to occupy ourselves.
"After I finish my exercises, we can all get ready. It will be fun, a little girl's time. Sound good?" she asks both of us, finally breaking the awkward silence in the room. She once again shifts into a new position. She has her body positioned in a pushup stance this time.
"Yeah," we both mumble under our breath in union. Neither of us looking at the other.
I pop in my earbuds and grab the book I have been attempting to read since I got here off of my desk. Music fills my ears as I lean back against the headboard.I can still feel Sam's beady little eyes on me the whole time. Without even looking up, I know that she's sizing me up for something I just don't know what for.