Owen
I woke up late today.
To be honest, I think the only reason I really got up was because the sunlight was directed toward my face from outside the window and it hurt my eyes. I don't really get it how sunlight can even cause someone discomfort even when their eyes are sealed by some sort of protective layer the eyelids have. Still, I hated it.
I didn't like how things spiraled down with Maya yesterday after midterms and I didn't like how I didn't leave Athena a note or even a simple text about the spontaneous plans Maya made. Speaking of Athena, I haven't really gotten to apologize formally after the thing with Maya. She was busy cramming for the test last night and I didn't want to bother her. I'm already too much of a hassle and I don't want to be more of a burden than I already am.
Shuffling under the covers, I slowly rubbed my eyes and opened them slowly. Something about waking up after a long week of midterms and procrastinating got me too lazy to actually get out of bed at 11am. And I didn't.
I had been staring over at Athena's side of the room with her unmade bed and her mess of clothes over at the foot of it for the majority of the time I was awake. For the time being, I caught myself yearning all of the sudden. I yearn for the familiar swoosh of her short, dirty blonde hair and the tickle of her bangs that started to curtain over her eyes these days. I missed seeing her golden brown eyes that glinted like warm honey and the way her eyelashes move with every gust of the wind. I know to myself that I haven't been interacting with her as much as we did before and it's all my fault.
And I want to change that.
I think my personality has been through quite some change during all those times I spent with Athena and honestly, even I am confused about the person I became. I noticed I was pretty much a balance of grumpy and annoyed these past few years but now, I think I'm a bit well-rounded.
Well, I still dislike people with a burning hate but for the most part, Athena has tamed me.
I stared more into Athena's side of the room and just sighed.
How hard did I fuck up with her?
Honestly, she deserves better. I looked over at my chair quietly sitting where I left it the night before; at the side of my bed. It had been the same old one I have been using ever since I was around thirteen since that was the time I hit my growth spurt the hardest. There are a few dents here and there and some of the black paint chipped off the sides already. Even the dark blue footrests have some chipped parts in them. At least the smaller wheels under them still light up after all these years.
It was childish of me to get them but I liked it; I do have a liking for the unusual.
After much contemplation, I sat up in bed and pulled my chair nearer. I uncovered myself from under the sheets and with much force, I managed to pull myself out of bed and quickly transferred into the chair.
I felt the cushion shuffle a bit as I sat and I had to do some readjusting to get it right. I also had to readjust my legs on the footrest since they acted like limp vegetables and were not normal to look at. As much as I hate to admit it, this whole thing about being unable to get up and walk bothers me more than my mum's singing.
I went straight into the bathroom first to shower and brush my teeth. Popping off my retainers, I took my toothbrush and plastered on some Colgate onto the bristles and just stared at myself in the mirror as the toothbrush landed on the surface of my teeth.
My dark brown hair was incredibly out of shape and I was in dire need of a haircut. I never liked seeing it curling a bit towards the ends since they poke my eyes. Dark circles also had formed under them and I oddly looked a bit like a Tim Burton character.
I kept looking at my reflection in the mirror which only showed my torso upwards and spat onto the sink.
Does this kind of person look like a person who could date a girl like Athena?
She's extremely out of my league and yet, here she is, in a relationship, with me.
I didn't know why she, out of all the other people in the world (including that damn asshole who hurt her), chose me. I was less of her and yet, I really did like her.
She was the yin to my yang; the Sherlock to my Watson; the peanut butter to my jelly. Somehow, she balances me out. And I don't know if I'm worthy of it given how I slow her down in my condition in this chair and how I spend less and less time with her each passing day.
But I think I can change that.
Maybe I can.
I quickly got in for a shower and immediately went for a change in clothes. My mind sped fast thinking of ways to rekindle what we have lost lately and to be honest, my chest felt tight but in a good way. It was the good type of tight, actually. The type of tight that comes up whenever you get excited over something.
And I am.
Excited, I mean.
This kind of spontaneity was Athena's thing, not mine. I like things to be planned and all but to think of it, did I even plan on liking Athena in the first place? I didn't like how she easily got on my nerves and how she annoyed the hell out of me every time she popped her adorable, little head into Mr. Jones' bookstore but joining in the spontaneity of the moment was something I think I could get used to.
After tying in the prim-white laces of my Converses and shoving in my fingers into the gloves I use when pushing my chair, I think it was about time to go and fancy someone to a surprise visit. I only took with me my phone and wallet and immediately sped out of my room.
I felt the cold rims of my chair graze past my fingers and I felt such a surge of excitement, I almost didn't notice Fitz and Maya weirdly interacting.
I stopped for a moment and went up to them; Fitz looked awestruck as always in Maya's presence and Maya, well, she looked like Maya.
Frazzled, Fitz quickly went up to me and bent down, whispering something in my ear. Well, I think he attempted to whisper but it was more like a moderately volumed pep-talk/rant.
"Dude, dude, is this whole scene like,-- really happening or am I just delusional? Man, SHE ASKED ME TO GET COFFEE WITH HER. COFFEE. WITH. HER." Fitz blabbered quickly. He was hyperventilating a bit as he pointed toward Maya who had her backed turned from us, obviously pretending she cannot hear whatever Fitz was saying.
I looked at Fitz straight in the eye and his were quivering behind his glasses which has gotten quite foggy from his breathing.
"Talk about what she likes. Maya would like that." I told him with a subtle grin on my face.
I was happy Fitz finally got to spend even a little time with Maya since I do have my suspicions about the girl for a short time now. He does look like the kind of person who would do anything for the person he likes and luckily, it was Maya.
"I will. Text me every five minutes to make sure I don't say anything wrong?" he asked.
"No."
"Please?"
"Fitz, just,--no."
"You sure about that?"
"Of course. Now, I gotta go. I'm meeting someone today at around this hour."
"Winning back your girl? I like the sound of that. Just, don't make any bets with her when it comes to video games. She will destroy you."
"Got it. Update me about how things will go, okay?" I told him as I gripped the rims of my wheels tight and was ready to swivel away.
"'Kay. Don't fuck things up." Fitz said, standing up straight again from his bended position earlier. He had a playful smirk on his face as he pushed his glasses up his nose, looking better with that little hint of confidence in him.
"You too." I said as I started to slowly move away from Fitz. He swatted a hand and scoffed.
"Ha. As if I would ever." Fitz said with a slight roll of the eye. I managed to stifle a small laugh and shrugged.
"The chances are high, mate. I'm serious." I said, finally turning away from him but moving slow enough to continue this quick talk with Fitz.
"Whatever. Just GO ALREADY." he yelled as his words echoed throughout the insides of the dormitory lobby.
"FINE. I WILL."I yelled back, hearing my own voice echo as well.
"SHUT UP, THE TWO OF YOU." We heard Charlie, our residential senior advisor, yell back at Fitz and I from his room on the second floor. I turned my head in Fitz's direction and we both had shocked yet laughing expressions plastered across our faces.
Fitz raised a hand to say goodbye and I did the same.
Fitz was nice enough to make friends with me and to be honest, I didn't know awkwardness could be a foundation of friendship. Still, I valued him greatly and it make me feel good seeing him finally get what he wanted.
I pushed my chair quickly as I went outside the dorm and into the pavement where students and teachers alike were breezing past like those time-lapse commercials. My hands on the cold rims of my chair pushed faster than my normal speed but not too fast that I would tire myself out easily. The people I have pushed past through kept looking at me weirdly and it got to me a little. I never did like people looking at me like I was an anomaly or something. Still, my goal was set and I pushed that thought towards the back of my mind.
This time, we would go back to the way things were.
This time, she would not feel left out.
This time, I'll be the one who'll make her happy.
I pushed my way towards the Humanities building where Athena is currently having her final midterm exam. In a few minutes, she would be out and the both of us would finally, after a long due, spend some time together. This time, not within the walls of our dorm room. It was just not enough for us and I knew to myself that it was unfair to call spending days in watching movies on Netflix as a "date".
As I said, she deserves better.
I may not be the one who could satisfy her but I'll try.
I'll make her happy.
After much staring and weird looks I was given, I was near the building where Athena could possibly come out any moment. I was feeling this weird rush grow inside me and I slowed down a bit to give my arms a break.
The small crowd of students finally exited the building, all with relieved looks on their faces, obviously happy that their own midterms are finally over. My eyes were searching for that familiar blonde head I see everyday that I had to stop around some distance away in order to not get hit by any backpacks or anything if I go any closer.
After most of the crowd died down, I finally spotted her. Athena. Her hair was in two small space buns and she had a hand over her eyes to shield them away from the sunlight. She didn't look like the rest of the people who took the exam and got out relieved. She looked tired.
As soon as I was about to go up to her, some guy with a familiar built went near her and I saw Athena look at him sternly before nodding and grabbing him by the arm, yanking him somewhere I do not know of.
I knew that kind of height was familiar and the body built was too. I just can't lay my finger on it.
My chest tightened again. This time, not in a good way. It was the painful kind of tight.
I knew Athena didn't have that many friends in her department but maybe, she does. Somehow, I felt she deserved to go with a friend for lunch or something and I could lay low a little and head back to the dorm. After all, that's where she will be after this thing with that awfully familiar guy.
He was huge. I didn't get to see what his face looked like since I was quite far from them. His insanely huge height difference form Athena set me off into a sour mood and I didn't like this feeling.
Seeing Athena go somewhere with someone else made me feel a spur of jealousy and yet, I don't want to assume the worse. Athena is kind and truthful. I could ask her later how her day went and that's where this whole, big guy thing will be resolved.
I turned my chair around and headed back to the dormitory in silence. I had my head down for the most part and my dark hair kept shielding my eyes again.
I didn't care.
The worse scenarios had already been invading my head and I wanted them gone. I want them all gone.
I want him gone.