Week 2, November 1977
Kelsey looked over her shoulder to make sure she was alone as she tickled the pear. It was 1 am and she had snuck out of the Common Room to grab a late-night bite. She had to admit that being close to kitchens was the best part of being a Hufflepuff.
All that DADA essay writing had her hand cramping. Professor Dustings was a little paranoid about students perfecting it better given the recent string of increasing attacks. Hence the essay overkill. It had been one month since they had moved on from the Patronus charms and she hadn't managed anything beyond a solid shield like many other students even though they had moved on to other topics.
She entered the kitchen excited to find Hoppy, her elf buddy, who usually whipped up quick meals for her. Walking into the room, she started thinking of what she was in the mood for when she heard another presence.
"Will Master be requiring anything else?" she heard Hoppy ask.
"Blimey. Any more and I'd burst," the person replied. As she came closer she saw Hoppy's eyes brimming with tears suddenly. "No- er-- what I meant was: Great job Hoppy. I'll be sure to tell my friends about this." She saw Sirius Black sitting on the kitchen island on a tall stool, looking desperate to not offend the elf further.
"I see you've resorted to making house elves cry now," Kelsey spoke up finally, making herself known. He stopped mid-chew while Hoppy ran over to her gushing.
"Miss Jones, it's been too long! What can Hoppy get you?"
"Got anything with chocolate in it?" she asked eagerly. With a delighted peep, the elf was off to fetch her something.
"I didn't know other Houses knew about this," she told him.
"They don't. It's just me and the boys usually." Sirius watched her take a seat opposite him.
"How did you even get here without being seen?"
He sent her a secretive smile. "I have my ways."
Kelsey hummed in response realising he probably had the cloak.
Hoppy came back a minute later with a plate full of baked chocolate goods. Gleefully, Kelsey took her pick and chose a chocolate-covered doughnut for herself and an eclair for Astrid.
"Chocolate really?" he raised an eyebrow.
"Whaf?" she said with her mouth full. "Fuckin' miss these," she muttered under her breath to herself.
He looked at her quizzically.
"The doughnuts. They don't make them as good in the UK. When I was five there was this local bakery down my lane in New England where I lived. Best. Chocolate. Ever." she said.
Sirius watched her as she stuck a tongue out to lick the last bit of frosting off her fingers. Unknowingly, he stared on until he felt his pants tighten slightly when she straight up sucked a finger.
Was she doing this on purpose? He looked away, willing himself to calm down.
"You're just like Moony," Sirius said a while later. "He's into chocolate. An unhealthy amount."
"Don't blame him. Thish ish heafun," she moaned, taking a bite from the second doughnut. This time a bit of chocolate syrup dribbling down her chin as the doughnut oozed.
"Quite the moaner aren't you Jones," he commented. Perhaps talking would keep him distracted and hopefully stop that urge to lick it off her himself. No matter how much he had vowed to only talk to her for prank related matters, the pull was back.
"Oh, you'd know all about that?" she asked teasingly.
"Sure. I did just come back from a quite active snog session. Worked up an appetite if you know what I mean," he winked at her.
Despite her feeling of disgust, Kelsey felt her heart plummet against her chest. What was his game?
"You're a pig," she scrunched her face.
"Just calling it as it is," he shrugged.
She took another bite but held back a groan of pleasure this time, biting down on her lip.
"You can let it out. I know you want to," he teased. Kelsey shook her head and ate in silence when
"Oh baby, yes," he faked in a low-pitched voice. He closed his eyes and distorted his face into a look of pleasure. "Chocolate mmm yeah," he continued.
She couldn't hold back and burst out giggling. Sirius joined her a few moments later.
"You're such a dork," she managed between breaths.
"Nah, the ladies love me," he smirked and got up. "They call me Casanova," he winked at her. For a moment Kelsey almost forgot how to respond.
"Just calling it as it is," she shrugged, mimicking his words.
"Touche, Jones. Touche." And with that, he was out of the kitchen.
Later, back in bed, Kelsey stared at the ceiling hearing Black's voice. Truth be told she didn't know what was up with her. Part of the reason she had been awake was to distract herself from thoughts of Black that kept plaguing her only to find him in the kitchen. So much for clarity.
Just like some karmic joke. She turned to her side and slipped a hand under her head.
For six years, Sirius had always been there, in the corner lurking, getting on her nerves, being that person she could unleash on. As her eyes drooped, she remembered his face as he fake moaned and gulped. How many girls had he even been with?
Her eyes shot open just as she was on the verge of falling asleep.
She had her next plan.
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"The announcement for the next Hogsmeade trip is up," Astrid said and sat down next to Kelsey in the Great Hall.
"It is?" Kelsey replied absent-mindedly, writing away on the parchment in front of her.
"Mary and Marlene have dates though," she mentioned. Kelsey stopped writing and looked up.
"Guess it'll just be us three then."
Astrid nodded and tried to take a peek at what Kelsey had been working on. But her friend hid it away from her prying eyes.
"Now, now. Be patient," Kelsey chided. Astrid pouted.
"Is that your Muggle Studies essay?"
Kelsey snorted. "Please. If you must, prank number four of my 'Getting Back at Black' plan. But you'll have to wait and see."
"Lovely," Astrid grabbed a muffin and bit into it.
At breakfast the following Monday, the four Marauders were sitting in their usual spot, chattering away as usual. An owl flew down to the and landed in front of Sirius Black who looked surprised. He never got mail.
The owl dropped the letter and hooted at Black hinting at a tip. Sirius proceeded to search in his pockets for some knick-knack and handed the owl a small treat he found.
"Who's that from?" Wormtail asked him.
"Your guess is as good as mine," Sirius said while proceeding to rip it open. Suddenly, the letter snatched itself away from his hands in mid-air.
"Uh-oh," said James.
Remus' eyes widened, "Is that a-"
"Hey Lover Boy" A sultry woman's voice echoed loudly.
Students around them stopped eating.
"You know..ever since our last time, I haven't been able to stop imagining you babe. I can still feel your hands on my.." a few students near them choked on their food including Mary, Marlene and Lily who were sitting a few seats down. Lily was sending disgusted looks in their general direction while Mary and Marlene giggled, a little pink at the mystery woman's expressive vocabulary.
"...Tonight..in my dorms, I'll be thinking of you - oh - oh - OH!" The screams of a woman clearing pleasing herself while recording the Howler was unmistakable. The letter even quivered to match the ending. But that wasn't the end of it.
"See you in my dreams, ex-oh-ex-oh." The voice finally faded away as the adult-themed howler ripped itself up into shreds.
Sirius was stunned into stillness. He was still staring at the space in front of him where the Howler had just been. In front of him, Prongs and Moony were looking at him just as red-faced no doubt embarrassed about the contents. He could hear the sounds of giggles and whispers around him.
All at once, most of the students around him broke out into laughter while a few older students hurried to rush younger students out.
"Mister Black!" he turned to see McGonagall storming over, clutching her robes red in the face.
"What in the name of Merlin was that?"
"I-I have no clue," he croaked.
"Probably a really pleased lady, Professor," Prongs snorted.
"Boy, she sure sounded like a Howler," Moony punned, drawing a shocked gasp from McGonagall. Her star student?!
"You should be focusing on your NEWTs! One more event and I shall have you in detention every evening forcibly working on homework. And while this might not be proof of you consorting with the fairer sex Mister Black, next time, there shall be no second warning." She was now red in the face. She disappeared away.
"Off to class now! All of you," she looked around at the bunch of seventh years. Sirius too got up dazed and started making his way out the hall with his friends around him.
"Padfoot, why didn't you tell us you shagged a bird?" Wormtail asked hushed.
"That's the thing boys." Sirius looked at them. "I haven't."
"There's this broom closet by the abandoned fourth-floor classrooms. If you sneak in and wait, he shows up at 10 pm." Sirius heard Kelsey talking in hushed tones to the same Hufflepuff girl who had been gossiping about the Hulk Smash with her friend a few days ago.
"You think?" the unknown girl asked, looking hopeful.
"Trust me, he doesn't just know the Hulk Smash - he came up with it. Be sure to pass it along," Kelsey lied through her teeth, falsely pimping out Sirius Black.
The corners of her lips were tugging to stretch into a smile. Anyone who didn't know her, like the Gryffindor she was talking to, wouldn't see it.
But Sirius Black did. He saw everything.
"You!" Sirius yelled out, eyeing down Jones who stopped mid-sentence and slowly turned to look at him.
Without a word, she slipped through the throng of students exiting the hall and made a break. But not before Sirius was already on her heels. Kelsey ran, his shouts trailing behind her as she tried to think of where to hide.
The Howler had gone better than expected. All she had to do was ask to borrow Lily's Video Tape Player and hunt down a few muggle-born boys at Hogwarts for their hidden porn stash. The rest had been put together through voice charms that she happily reviewed after penning down the words on parchment.
"You better start repenting your sins Jones because once I catch you.." his voice boomed down the hall just as she turned a corner. The hallway was deserted.
A hand reached out, grabbed her upper arm, and pulled. She found herself pushed up against a wall with Black's face inches from her.
"You!" he breathed
"Me?" she said innocently.
"How did you even?" he asked her.
"Surprised?" she smirked cockily.
He stared into her eyes that were lit up watching her take heavy breaths. She parted her lips as she too stared back at him, taking in his spicy cologne as a few strands of his locks fell on his face. One hand gripped her arm while the other was placed flat against the wall, trapping her in.
He leaned lower instinctively as she licked her lips. Boy was she parched from the marathon.
"Bloody hell Kelpie." He was half impressed and half turned on. And that confused him further.
"You only have yourself to thank for that idea Padfoot," she said.
He looked at her funny as if he couldn't understand what she meant.
"Ooh baby yeah," she closed her eyes and moaned his words from their Friday night kitchen meeting.
When she opened her eyes, he was looking at her with a pained expression, his breathing staggered. Her own face felt flushed under scrutiny.
Suddenly, he pushed himself away and walked off silently.
"So much for making me pay," she called out, her voice a little unsteady as she tried to understand what that was.
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