A/N: comment you rats
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Just past the threshold of the cabin, Camila went right to the thermostat, cranking up the heat as Shawn went to start up the fireplace.
"Sof? Sofia, you here?" Camila called up the stairs. "I guess they're still not back yet."
"They better not get killed or we're gonna have to hear about it." Shawn yawned, tossing a match into the fireplace.
Camila wasn't too worried, especially since Shawn wasn't either. She was actually glad to not have to feel guilty about helping him with his audition.
She took off her coat and boots, sitting cross-legged on the hearth rug for a moment, feeling the small aches in her hips and ankles.
Shawn went upstairs for a moment, Camila feeling sleepy in the fire warmth. Shawn came back down a moment later, having taken off his coat. He was in just a t-shirt and jeans, carrying his guitar.
Camila told herself not to stare at his muscles, instead keeping her eyes on the fire, reaching up to brush her hair back over her shoulders and feeling it tangled where it came loose from her braid. She wondered if she looked like a mess right now.
"Okay, so," Shawn sat across from her, slipping the guitar strap over his head. "That Chuck guy seemed pretty impressed when I told him about my sound."
"What exactly is your sound?" Camila asked softly, trying to pretend she hadn't heard a snippet through the wall last night.
"It's sort of acoustic pop...if that even makes sense?" He blushed, Camila noting how warm his face looked in the firelight.
"I like it already." Camila said, smiling.
"Okay, well, I'm just gonna play something and you tell me if it sucks or not."
"Okay." Camila's heart began to pound. "Should I close my eyes or something?"
"No, it's fine."
Camila once again found a fondness for his confidence. Even she sometimes made Nick close his eyes before she read some huge emotional scene just inches from his face, but now Shawn didn't seem bothered at all that she was watching him.
He put his hands on the strings and Camila watched his fingers rather than his face. It wasn't the best idea, as she was suddenly thinking only of how beautiful his hands were. Was it weird to call hands beautiful? Maybe so, but it was very fitting.
"...We're going through motions,
cause we can't fix what's broken, no.
And I know it's gonna hurt,
But darling I'll go first..."
Camila closed her eyes when he sang, despite him telling her she didn't have to. It was actually just easier for her, because holy shit, she couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful he looked and sounded, and it was just easier to focus on one of two at a time.
"...We don't have to keep on saying those three empty words
No, I can't keep on saying those three empty words..."
She opened her eyes, feeling her face flushed deep pink. She'd never had anyone sing a song for her, and though she knew that wasn't really what this was, it still had that level of intimacy.
Shawn was looking at her, raising his eyebrows and it took Camila a second to register that look, that same expectant face she gave Nick after spilling her guts out from a script. He wanted her feedback.
"Um," She felt her palms sweating, glancing away as Shawn was still staring at her. "It was good."
"Good?"
"Really good! Really great! Did you write that?"
"Yeah." He glanced away, appearing almost nervous for the first time now. "Kind of a long time ago..."
"I really like it." Camila said. "I'm sure they'll love it tonight."
"So you think that's what I should audition with? Not something...happier?"
"If they want overly-schmaltzy, then they have Marlene." Camila said. "You shouldn't always just bend to whatever you think people want."
"True," He smiled. "But I really do have happier songs if you wanna hear one."
"Yes."
Camila nodded just as the front door opened. They turned to look as Aaliyah and Sofia walked in, laughing loudly and tracking snow into the foyer.
"There you guys are!" Aaliyah looked over at them.
"Us, what about you? You guys went off to who knows where and didn't even tell us." Shawn laid his guitar down in his lap.
"We just went onto one of the other trails. Did you guys really stay on the bunny slope all day?"
"Maybe."
Camila felt Sofia's eyes on her and she knew how this must look to her, her and Shawn close by the fire, Shawn serenading her. Camila just wished Sofia understood how disappointed she was that it very much wasn't like that at all.
"Well, you missed all the fun on the other trails."Aaliyah said as she took off her coat and boots.
"Well, you missed us falling down a lot."
"Did you really? Wow, I'm kinda sad I missed that."
"I'm gonna go work on some of my stuff." Shawn stood up, flashing Camila one last smile. "Thanks for your help."
"What were you guys doing?" Sofia asked her, a slight accusatory tone in her voice as she sat on the couch, strewing her coat and scarf over the cushions.
"Nothing, I was just listening to a song he wanted me to hear." Camila reached for the remote and pretending to be really interested in flipping though the channels. "Oh—guess who's here too? Marlene."
"Marlene, the same actress we saw on tv last night?" Aaliyah came out of the kitchen with two waters and handed one to Sofia.
"Yeah, she was walking her dog—"
"Did Shawn run away?" Aaliyah grinned. "He's scared of dogs."
"Sort of, at first." Camila giggled. "But she was talking about singing at the café, so now Shawn wants to audition too, so I just said I'd listen to a song."
"Oh, I hope he gets to." Aaliyah tore open a bag of chips. "I know he'd really love that."
They distracted themselves with tv and Camila was glad she got to explain away what they walked in on. Luckily, Aaliyah didn't seem to think too much of it, which meant Sofia didn't have to remind Camila of that stupid f word. Forbidden.
She went upstairs to check her messages, hoping that leaving her phone here untouched all day meant at least now she'd have something to come back to.
There was nothing but a few social media notifications and some texts from her parents asking if they were having fun so far. She replied, checking one last time for anything from Nick before deciding to tell him some of her own news.
You'll never guess who's here. Marlene.
Camila waited for a second, smiling when she saw he was a typing out a reply.
Cray-cray!!!!
Camila laughed, glad she could always count on him for something like that. She saw he was typing again and waited, reacting to his last message with a laughing emoji.
I know you're waiting, and so am I. I might go by the theater tomorrow and see if I can accidentally run into Rachel or something.
Please do. I don't want to have to hear anything from Marlene first.
Camila could hear Shawn softly playing guitar through the wall and though she longed to listen in, she also wanted to take advantage of everyone being preoccupied and make use of the hot tub.
She hadn't thought to bring her swim suit. She might have risked just going in nude if there were only girls in the house, but she wasn't going to tempt anything just now. Instead, she just grabbed an old t-shirt and pair of shorts she'd brought as pajamas and walked out to the porch.
She turned on the hot tub, feeling the steam rise from the filling water and warm up the small space. She got in when it was full, feeling the jets against her sore muscles.
Camila sat in the hot water for a while, watching the snow start to fall outside the screen windows. Her mind started to wander as it often did when she relaxed like this, but this time her thoughts weren't so innocent.
It was so nice to be alone with Shawn today. Even when they were making breakfast and he danced with her, showing off a new confidence she'd never seen in him before. And later at the café they got to act so close that even Marlene thought they were together. What would Shawn have said if he knew Marlene had assumed that?
Camila knew he always had girls all over him, but was there the slightest chance he liked her too? She didn't know his situation back home—what if he already had a girl he was into and that was another reason he didn't like being swarmed by all of Aaliyah's friends.
Camila tried to force her mind off of Shawn, but before she knew it, she was imagining spending another day with him. Hoping they'd make a routine of yoga in the mornings sounded nice, and as did cooking together, but now she was thinking of something else.
Warming up together by the fire was nice, but what about warming up in here? Camila stretched her legs out, feeling the hot water on her aching legs and wondered what Shawn would say if she asked him to get in with her.
Just for the hell of it, she imagined there was no one telling her to back off of him. She imagined Shawn saying yes and getting in with her, their bodies only inches apart in the hot water, the steam rising off the surface and making his face pink. She'd get to see his chest and his arms.
Camila blinked, forcing herself to snap out of those thoughts. He wasn't hers to imagine like that, and the threat of picturing his hands was too much. She needed to cool down.
Her muscles were so relaxed when she finally climbed out, grabbing her towel and drying her hair. Her shirt and shorts were still soaked. She really should have thought this through before coming out here.
She glanced once through the backdoor window to make sure no one was coming out before she pulled off her shirt and shorts. She put her robe on, glad their porch only faced the trees as she wrung her clothes out as best she could.
She walked back into the cabin, stopping to toss her clothes in the dryer in the laundry room before heading back upstairs.
The sound of strings had stopped from Shawn's room and Camila forced herself not to stand there and keep listening.
In her room, she grabbed her phone again and frowned as she saw that not only were her messages empty, but her battery was almost half way down. She bent down to grab her charger chord from the floor but it was gone.
Camila saw it wasn't plugged in and was about to get annoyed before she realized who might have taken it. Her eyes moved to the wall that separated her room from the bathroom, which Shawn's on the other side.
She took her hair down from the towel, scrubbing it dry for a few moments before going out of her room in just her robe, stopping by his door. She listened again, still not hearing him playing.
What if he wasn't even in there? Then it would be no big deal for her to go in and grab her charger. After all, he'd gone in her room to get it in the first place and that thought alone made her heart pound. Just to check, Camila knocked softly on the door and listened.
"Yeah? Come in."
Camila couldn't run back to her room now without being super weird about it. She instead just opened the door a tiny crack and peered inside.
She didn't see him at first, before her eyes moved down. She knew now why she hadn't heard him practicing. He was done with that and was working on something else now, apparently.
Shawn was on the floor doing push-ups, completely shirtless. Camila froze. Shawn didn't stop, rising up completely before looking up at her.
"Hey."
Camila forced herself to remember why she came in here, but all she could look at was his bare back and arms and the way his muscles looked. She definitely never knew he was this ripped.
"Oh—my charger." She blushed, her eyes going up to the ceiling. "Did you take it?"
"Oh, yeah, sorry." He stood up, going to unplug it from the wall. Camila stared at his chest as he walked over. "I'll ask next time."
"No, it's okay." Camila said, taking it from him and feeling their hands brush. "You can take it whenever..."
"Oh, okay, cool." He chuckled. "...Um, I'm gonna finish my set."
"Right. I'm gonna go get dressed..."
Camila was still blushing, holding her breath as she left his room. She didn't breath until she closed the door back in the privacy of her own room.
She stayed still, one hand on the doorknob and the other holding her charger. She felt water drip down the back of her robe.
Had that really just happened? She just told him he could walk in her room whenever—a weird thing to say, but it was hard to think clearly when he was literally just standing there shirtless. And she'd stared. He had to have noticed she stared. Well, she was in just her robe and he was welcome to stare at whatever he wanted, actually.
She got dressed, wearing just a tank top and a different pair of shorts. She put on socks for the cold floors but hopefully it'd be warm enough in the cabin that she would need anything else.
It was such a weird dilemma. She wanted to flirt so bad, but she couldn't. Not only did she promise, she also still wasn't sure what his deal was. Everything he did so far that could be seen as flirting could also be platonic.
She decided she couldn't risk it. She was starting to feel so guilty just for looking at him. She tried to force the shirtless image of him out of her mind but all she could think about was that, and the fact that he was down the hall right now still shirtless and still working out.
Camila grabbed a sweatshirt and pulled it on over her tank top with almost reluctance. Shawn was out in the hall, his shirt back on as Camila opened her door.
"Hey, wanna help me prep dinner?" He asked. "You don't have to."
"No, I'll help." She smiled. "But you don't have to always cook for us, you know."
"I know, I just like it."
Camila could hear Sofia and Aaliyah watching tv in the living room as they prepped dinner. Camila kept in mind that their sisters were only one door away, and that kept her in a platonic mindset.
All she had to do was not laugh too much at his jokes and not think about his shirtless body. It worked well for the most part. She chopped vegetables and Shawn sliced up the meat.
She her mind wander for half a second as she watched him wash his hands. It was such a weird thing to get fixated on, but all she could think about were his fingers on the guitar strings. And that tattoo on his hand, it was like begging to draw her attention.
Camila suddenly gasped in pain, looking down at the blood drawn on her hand. She dropped her knife on the counter as Shawn looked over.
"Hey, you okay?"
"It's fine, I just cut my hand—" Camila grabbed at the hem of her sweatshirt and pressed it to her hand, but it was bleeding more than she realized.
"Whoa, come here—" Shawn grabbed Camila gently by the elbow and pulled her towards the sink.
Shawn held Camila by the wrist and guided her hand under the water. Camila winced in pain, watching her blood run down the drain. It hurt like hell and the cold water stung, but she tried to focus only on his fingers wrapped around her wrist.
"Don't move, I'm gonna go look for a band-aid."
Camila stood at the sink, her hand under the water. She wasn't going to cry, but it really did hurt like hell. A moment later, Shawn came back with a first aid kit from the bathroom.
"Let me see your hand."
Camila held out her hand, noting the bleeding had stopped. Shawn grabbed a paper towel and dried her hand off before applying a swap of alcohol. It stung, but she just focused on the fact that Shawn was literally cradling her hand in his own.
"Hold on..." He reached for the bandage next, slipping off the paper and gently laying it over the cut. "There."
"Thanks..."
It was so stupid, but all Camila wanted now was for him to kiss it. She would never say that out loud, and she tried to unthink it, but she couldn't. Instead, she just slowly pulled her hand back, rubbing at the bandage, and still stunned about how gently he'd taken care of her.
"I slice my hands all the time in the kitchen." He told her. "See?"
Camila looked down as he showed her a scar on his hand in almost the same spot as hers, on the side just under the index finger. She tried not to blush as he practically forced her to study his hands. She got a closer look at his tattoo as well as a burn on his wrist.
"Does that hurt?" She asked.
"Yeah, but I'm kinda used to it." He said. "Does yours hurt?"
"No..." She said. She hardly noticed it now. She was suddenly aware of how close they were standing. "No, it's fine now."
"I'll finish this for you," He grabbed her knife from the counter and put it in the sink, grabbing a clean one from a drawer. "You wanna set the table?"
"Sure."
Camila grabbed a stack of plates from the cabinet and went out to the dining room. She caught sight of blood on her sweatshirt and pulled it off, tossing it into the laundry room and setting the table in her just tank top.
"Hey, salad's ready if you wanna take that out too." Shawn had his back to her, flipping the meat in a pan.
"Okay." She took the bowl of salad out of the fridge. She was dying for his attention, for him to look at her. She knew it went against everything she'd been trying to avoid all night, but all she could think about was how he'd held her hand. "I don't see the dressing."
"It should be in the door." He didn't look over.
"I still don't see it..." She loudly rattled bottles on the shelf.
"Really? Are you sure?" Shawn looked over his shoulder.
Camila tried to look casual, standing there with her cleavage exposed. She watched his face slowly turn red, his eyes never moving to where she had the fridge door open.
"Uh..."
Camila tried not to smirk in satisfaction. Shawn suddenly quickly turned back to the stove and turned off the burner, pulling the pan back as it sizzled. Camila felt bad. She'd only wanted him to look at her, she didn't want him to wind up with another burn.
"Oh, found it!" Camila grabbed the bottle from the shelf and went back out to the dining room.
Camila tried not to notice Shawn staring at her as he brought trays of food out to the dining room. She laid out the forks, bending over more than necessary to give him a good view.
She noticed his face going red every time she glanced up at him. It was adorable. It wasn't exactly confirmation that he was romantically interested, but she still liked the attention.
They finally called their sisters to eat and Camila noticed Shawn wasn't the only one looking at her. Sofia was practically glaring at her.
"Aren't you cold?" Sofia asked.
"No." Camila ate her salad, trying to pretend she didn't know why Sofia was asking.
After dinner, Camila saw Shawn come downstairs with his guitar case and stop to put on his coat. She remembered his audition for the café.
"Do you want me to come with you?" She asked. "I always feel better when I have moral support."
Literally offering to put clothes on again and step back out into the cold, Camila knew this wasn't just a casual attraction, but she forced herself not to overanalyze it.
"Yeah, that'd be nice." He smiled.
"Okay, I'll be right back."
Camila ran upstairs and ripped open the drawers, stepping into jeans. She didn't look up, even when she heard Sofia in the doorway.
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing."
"Where are you going with him?" Sofia asked.
"Just for his audition. Honestly, mind your own business." Camila snapped, wincing when she accidentally put pressure on the cut on her hand as she closed the drawer.
"Camila—"
"Sofia, chill the hell out. He doesn't have anyone else to hang out with, and I doubt you want him following you two around all week. We're just friends, so will you quit acting like I'm trying to move in on him!?"
Camila pulled a sweater on over her head, pushing past Sofia and going back downstairs. She stepped into her boots and pulled on her coat. Shawn was waiting by the door, his guitar on over his back.
"I think it's snowing again." He said, peering through the window.
"Let's walk fast then, and stay warm." Camila pulled her hat down over her ears.
"Let's not run, though." He chuckled. "I have a different idea."
Shawn slipped his hand in hers as they walked towards the café. There were the layers of their gloves between their skin, but Camila still remembered how warm his hand had been when he held it in the kitchen. That kept her warm as she walked beside him.
Chuck from the café stood with his arms crossed, watching Shawn play with an impassive look on his face. He reminded Camila of every overly-serious and scary director she'd ever read for.
Camila sat at a table in the corner, sipping tea and trying not to feel nervous for him. She could see them talking, Shawn was smiling, but Camila couldn't tell what they were saying.
Finally, Camila saw Shawn smile wider, a look of relief on his face. Chuck nodded and smiled before going back through the doors to the kitchen. Shawn grabbed his guitar and came back to Camila's table.
"He loved it." Shawn whispered excitedly. "I mean, he really did! He said I could play here tomorrow night!"
"That's great!" Camila smiled.
"I know I acted like it was whatever, but I was so freaking nervous." He slid into the seat beside her. "And I know it's just playing in a café, but it's like a big deal to me—"
"I know it is." Camila covered his hand with her own without even thinking about it. "You should be proud, I always am no matter what part I get."
"Yeah, thanks..." Shawn looked down at where her hand covered his. Camila was just about to pull back when he squeezed her fingers.
She looked at his face, feeling herself blush as she dared to study his features. The way his hair, damp from snow was still tousled from the way he constantly ran his hand through it. The way the cold made his face pink, and the way he had a brightness in his eyes no matter what.
"Um..." Camila forced herself to pull her hand back, feeling a stab of guilt as well as something else. "We should probably head back now. I wanna turn in early."
"Yeah, me too." He looked away, busying himself with putting the strap over his back.
Camila knew what that something else was, but no amount of forcing herself not to think about it made it go away.
She was falling for him, hard. This wasn't just a crush level attraction based on looks. Not when he looked at her like that, or held her hand like that or sounded like that when he sang.
She couldn't remembered the last time she fell this hard this fast, like a snowball down a mountain, but she was. The thought kept her warm as they walked. It was wrong, so wrong, but it was so warm too.
"Do you still need help?" She asked, lingering on the cabin porch despite the cold on her face. "With your set list for tomorrow? I could...listen to more stuff?"
"Yeah, definitely." He smiled. "I'd definitely like that. There's so much stuff I want you to hear."
There was something she wanted him to hear too, but she forced that thought aside, remembering the word forbidden as she opened the door and crossed the threshold.