A/N: This is one of those times where I include a song that doesn't really have to do with the chapter. I just think it's really good and I listened to it while I wrote this, so maybe you'd like to hear it while you read! Either way, you should listen to it, it's amazing!
Alright, here's chapter 4! x
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The next few mornings had me waking up with a hollow feeling in my chest. Each night, I slept for maybe an hour, that hour filled with the same nightmare. And each day, I went to work and acted like nothing was wrong. But in my head, I kept thinking about what happened on Saturday as I did my usual morning routine of brushing my teeth and drinking iced coffee with Seb.
That's the whole routine.
It's Wednesday now and my dejected mood was still obvious. I walk into the kitchen where Seb has my iced coffee waiting for me and I couldn't hide my solemn expression. Seb frowned. "What's wrong, D? Did you have the nightmare again? Oh, and how was the club?"
I take my iced coffee from him, "Yeah, same nightmare. And I had fun. I mean, at the beginning at least. Towards the end, I don't know. Not so much."
We both take sips of our coffees at my pause. "It's just-" I continue. "I was having a good time. Harry said I should drink a little and have fun and so I did-"
"Hold up." Seb interrupts me. "You." He points at me. "You drank. Is that why you look so terrible?"
I give him a blank stare. "Aw, thanks, you're too kind to me." He returns a small smile with a shrug. "Anyway, as I was saying." I tease and look down at my coffee. "He said he'd drive me home if I drank too much and he gave this really long speech, and Seb, I was going to do it." His mouth falls open. "I was going to let someone else drive me. That's never happened before. I don't know what it is about him, but I felt so comfortable and trusting. Is that crazy?" I look up from my coffee and into Seb's blue eyes.
He shakes his head, "It's not weird at all. I think this is actually good for you. You're opening up to him already and you haven't even known him a week! But is that why the night was bad? You felt uncomfortable with how... comfortable he made you feel?"
"No, no, not at all. We were having fun. At least I was. It seemed like he was, too. He even wrote me this little note because he remembered how much I love handwritten stuff. We drank and we laughed, and he seemed like he was jealous when another guy from work tried dancing with me. But-"
Seb interrupts me again, "Ooh, he wants you." He sang, wiggling his fingers in my direction.
"But." I emphasize the previous point I was going to make. "It was probably just the alcohol. Towards the end, I thought we were going to kiss but someone bumped into us and we separated. And I'm kind of glad we did. He looked like he was about to make the biggest mistake of his life, Seb. He couldn't get away from me fast enough." I shook my head.
"Well, I still think he wants you. But if he doesn't then we can't trust him at all, can we? He clearly has no taste." Seb smiles at me and comes around the corner to hug me.
I laugh. "I really love you, Seb." He squeezes my shoulder, "Same here, D. Always." And he leaves me with my coffee and my thoughts.
†
I walk into work with my head held high, not letting anything, Harry or the nightmares, distract me from what I'm actually here to do. My job.
I ask Jeff to hand me the list of things he needs me to do for him and sit down at my desk in front of his office. I get them all done within my first hour there and find myself wanting to do more. I get up and walk a few steps to Jeff's office. "Hey." I knock on the doorframe. "I finished the stuff you needed me to, and lunch is on its way. Is there anything else you need?"
Jeff shakes his head, not turning his face away from his incessant typing. Okay, then.
I walk back to my desk and plant myself in my chair. I blow a raspberry and stare up at the ceiling wondering what I could do to pass the time. I'm in the middle of blowing another raspberry when I hear someone clearing their throat.
I look up and see Harry with a smile playing on his lips and his eyebrows raised at my behavior. I sit up straight, clearing my throat and speak first, "Oh, hi. Sorry. Do you have a meeting with Jeff today?" I furrow my eyebrows and look through the schedule I went over a hundred times. "I didn't see your na-"
"No, no." He clears his throat again and I look back up. "I'm not here to see Jeff. I'm actually here to see you, Delilah." He gives a hesitant smile.
It's my turn to raise my eyebrows now. "Me? Why, what's up?" I ask.
"Well, here's the thing." He walks closer and sits on the part of my desk closest to him. "I realize how weird I acted towards the end of that night at the club and I wanted to apologize. It had nothing to do with you and everything to do with me and I just don't want you to think that you did something wrong. Because you didn't. Do something wrong, I mean." He rambles. "Not that you were thinking about that night, that's not what I'm trying to say." He gives a nervous chuckle. "But yeah, I just wanted to apologize to you."
He's looking into my eyes now and I'm more than completely sure my cheeks are beet red. But I give him a small smile, "Oh, that's okay. You didn't have to come all the way over here just for that." I wave it off.
He snaps his fingers, "Oh, that's the other thing! I could've just texted you my apology, little honeybee, but then I wouldn't have been able to ask you what I wanted to ask you."
He scoots off the desk, standing now and facing directly towards me. "A while back, I came across this little antique bookstore and from what I saw, it has a lot of old literature. I've never gotten to actually look around, but I figured since quoting Wilde is kind of our thing that you'd like it?" He finishes.
I don't respond immediately, my mind repeating our thing over and over again. He takes my silence as a rejection, "You don't have to. I just figured if you don't have anything to do and you like that kind of stuff-"
I interrupt him, "I would love to." I give him a smile. "Really, I'd love to, that sounds amazing. Thank you. You want to go now?" He gives a satisfied smile and a nod as I turn to tell Jeff that I'm leaving, reassuring he doesn't need anything more from me.
I turn back to Harry, "So. We have an 'our thing', do we, Harry?" I tease.
I hear his laugh behind me as I walk past him and down to the parking lot.
†
I drove. Again. Harry didn't question it and I'm thankful for it. I almost considered letting him drive but the panic set in again and I had to swallow it down.
I pulled into the parking lot Harry was directing me to and parked in the front. "I'm so excited," I told Harry with a childish tone as I took the key out of the ignition, Honeybee silencing as I did.
I see him smile as we get out of the car, "Me too. It looks beautiful, I can only imagine the literature is even better." There's a bell ringing above the door when he opens it. He lets me walk in first and my thankful response is cut short once I catch sight of what's in front of me. Yes.
It's like heaven. I'm like a kid in a candy store and I practically skip around the store. There's books. Everywhere.
Which isn't surprising considering it's a bookstore, except I expected a store like Barnes & Noble where everything was organized in sections. This was the opposite. And I couldn't be happier.
I turn back to Harry with a smile that reaches my eyes and find his already on me. He returns the smile slowly and then starts walking around. It feels like home.
The store. The store feels like home.
It's empty, which is good because if somebody recognized Harry then we would have to leave. And I never want to leave.
We walk around for what feels like forever and I pick up book after book. Every time I see a book or a quote I think Harry would like, I call him over to show him and he does the same for me. We found a section where you could write whatever you wanted on empty pages and Harry ripped two papers out, handing me one.
"Let's write letters," Is what he says, and I feel like my heart could burst.
At some point, we end up huddled in a corner with books surrounding us, on our laps, on the floor. The letters we had written each other were just some quotes we liked and they were lying next to us. We were currently reading The Soul of the Rose. Well, Harry was reading The Soul of the Rose. I was listening.
My head had somehow fallen on his shoulder, my eyes shut as he spoke, his head on top of mine. The store was still empty, the only sound being the pages turning and our breaths mixing.
He read the last words and shut the book closed. He didn't lift his head, so I stayed put and spoke first. "That was beautiful. You have a voice made for reading romantic literature, I swear."
He chuckles and I feel the vibration from his shoulder. "Thank you? I don't think anyone's ever told me that before." He shrugs and it makes my head lift.
I lift it completely and look to him. "Well, it's true. It's a good thing, trust me. Because I ne-"
"Because you never lie." He finishes. He turns to face me with a playful glint in his eyes and a small smile. Our faces are close. Like that first night.
"Because I never lie." I repeated on an exhale.
He squints his eyes slightly and stares at me. "You're a very interesting person, Delilah. I don't think I've ever met anyone like you before."
I laugh nervously, "Oh, I doubt that's true." I wave it off. "I'm nothing."
"Don't say that." His face is stern. "You're not nothing." He pauses. "You're-"
We turn our heads at the bell ringing from the front door. I turn back to him, but he doesn't look at me. "We should go." He stands up and dusts off his pants. He extends his hand to me to help me up and I take it hesitantly.
We start to walk towards the front when my eye catches a familiar book on the corner of a table. I walk closer to it and my I feel my chest constrict when I recognize it. I stand still in front of the table, slowly raising the book to me. I feel the tears burn at the back of my eyes as I run my finger down the spine of my favorite memory.
I don't know how long I'm standing there before I hear, "Delilah?" I wipe my eyes to stop the tears from falling and sniff as I lift my head. "Are you okay?" I turn to find Harry looking at me with concerned eyes. "Are you okay?" He repeats slowly.
"I...yeah. I'm fine." He gives me a look showing he doesn't believe me. "It's just- um." I inhale deeply. "This is the book my parents would read to me as a kid when I was falling asleep. It's a really old children's book." I sniff again and put it down, turning back to him. "You were right, we should go." I walk ahead of him and out the door.
He follows me silently to the car and no one speaks a word as we get in.
"Thank you for bringing me-"
"What happened to your parents?" He asks.
I exhale sharply and he starts again, "I'm sorry. I know I said I wouldn't push until you were ready. And it's none of my business. I just want you to know you can tell me anything. It might be too soon, but I feel like I can trust you. And I want you to know you can trust-"
"I trust you." I interrupt. "I do, I trust you. I don't know why, but I do." I look up from the steering wheel and into his eyes. "It's just- It's just that the only other person that I've talked about this with is Seb. He's my roommate," I say at his confused look. "He's my best friend, really. And it took a long time for me to even tell him about it."
Say it, Delilah. Let it out. You trust him, it's okay.
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Song: Brand New Start by Little Joy.
A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger, hehe. I really love Delilah's character bc I feel like she's relatable to a lot of people. She experienced something that made her build up her walls and close people out but now she's met someone who is gonna help her bring them down. And she's gonna help H, too. I'm so excited for you guys to see their development!
Hope you liked Chapter 4!
-J :)