Edit/Rewritten: May 8, 2021
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Logans POV
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Chapter Sixteen: K(reep) Kai
"Let me get this straight," I began, heart thumping wildly in my chest. "You want to build a case against my father because he sexually abused you for three years and- and you need me to do what?"
"We would need you to go to a therapist, the same one that helped me understand my memories and is in contact with the detective in charge of this case." Kai explained, as smoothly as possible through his shaky voice.
"But I thought you didn't have a case? What do you need me for?" Confusion and fear filled me. The more I thought about it, the more I didn't want to do it. Go to a therapist? To scour through my brain? Wouldn't that make things worse?
"We are looking into building a case." Kai sighed, as though I was giving him a hard time. " I'm going to pursue a criminal case, or lawsuit. But this is my first time that my abuse was reported, so the statute of limitations is, to put it simply, a little thin. It still holds up in our state, luckily, but in the end your father might not even go to jail. He might just have to pay emotional damages and-"
"So this won't put him away for good?" I looked over to my mom, who was sitting next to Kai as though he were her son but I didn't take it personally. She had never really been a mom, leaving me and my brother behind at any given chance. And, the more I thought about it, the less I blamed her. Who would want to stay in a house with my father? "Then. . . what's the point?"
That was the wrong question to ask and I regretted it instantly, knowing how insensitive it seemed.
I jolted as Kai gripped his chest, nails digging into the skin of his collarbone. "I'm not crazy! I - I'm not! He did, I just, he just - something needs to happen."
There wasn't a way I could've said no, not with the way his eyes became wide and round with supplication, but "I'm sorry. I need to talk to Kyle. This might have happened to him too. I'll," I gulped. "I'll send you a message afterwards, okay?"
That was the end of the conversation, and with much reluctance I led them out the door, asking my mom to take care of him. Something she seemed familiar with as she placed her hands on his arms, silently guiding him out of view.
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Tripp came back during his usual lunch time, panting and looking around the house with fright until his eyes landed on my figure on the couch. He quickly made his way over, "What's wrong? You didn't pick up any of my calls, or respond to my messages."
I blinked, pulling myself out of my daze and turning over to look at him, shrugging. Guilt filled me as Tripp sighed, tying his hair back before throwing himself next to me on the couch, bringing me into his embrace. "Kai finally contacted me."
A hum, Tripp traced his comforting swirls on my arms. I continued, "He said that my father sexually abused him during elementary school, and that we were friends. . . and that, he thinks - maybe, I, he said- I was there too. So there's a chance I could have been sexually abused or something and - I don't know, that I suppressed the trauma?"
There was a long pause of silence. Tripp didn't need to talk for me to know how tense he was, I could practically feel it. I pressed on, not knowing how or when to shut up. "I don't remember anything. I don't think that he did abuse me, at least not sexually. I'm not entirely sure. But I still need to talk to Kyle."
I need to know if there's a possibility of him remembering Kai, if he did in fact sleep over all those years and if Kyle ever experienced what Kai described. Another second of silence before Tripp's hand reached up to comb strands of hair behind my ear. "Want to go now?"
"Now?" I turned, finally facing him. Tripp studied me, his hand stopping his swirls and gripping my chin softly, ensuring that I wouldn't pull away.
He nodded, "It might be best to get it over with now instead of overthinking it until the weekend."
"What about your classes?" My eyes trained on the digital clock that always haunted me. It was just past one, Tripp only needed two more classes.
A shrug, "I'd rather stay with you."
I tore into my bottom lip with my lip, stopping when Tripps thumb pulled at the flesh. "What do you think I should do?"
"I can't tell you what to do. You already want to see Kyle right? So let's start there. We'll figure everything out after that." I wanted to sink further into his words, soft-spoken and comfortable, and warm. So irresistibly warm, why couldnt I be surrounded by that always?
"I think it would be better to bring him here actually," I gulped. "Then, I can introduce him to Kai, and he could see mom again."
That confused Tripp, his perfect eyebrows furrowing. "Your moms here?"
"Apparently," I huffed, making non-specific gestures with my hands. "She seemed close with Kai, maybe she replaced us because we weren't good enough."
That's what I said, but I didn't believe it. There were memories of my parents when I was younger, and they were decent. Sure not good, not the best, but decent enough to make me feel appreciated. Love was never something easy to come by in my household, that's why when my younger brother was born I made sure to support him in anything. He wanted to learn how to do a cartwheel in a day because he saw someone else do it? I looked up tutorial and safety videos before teaching him. He wanted to become student council president to get closer to one of the members that he had a crush on? Creepy, but hey, it motivated him to get his grades and participation up.
In short, there was never a moment that I thought me and my brother weren't good enough. Because we never got in trouble, never attracted negative attention. We were just us. Wasn't that enough?
"Don't say that." Tripp soothed, shutting down the negative train of thoughts. "You're good enough. You're enough, Logan, don't let anyone ever say otherwise."
For you, I grinned, pressing my lips against his jaw. I am enough. "Sorry, I should call Kyle though, you want to make us lunch?"
A nod and kiss to my forehead later and I was calling my brother, watching Tripp move around the couch as the cold screen kept my mind running. "Hello?"
My eyes narrowed significantly at the unrecognizable voice, "Uhm. Where's Kyle?"
There was some shuffling and muttered conversation until, "Logan?"
I pouted, "And here I thought you'd forgotten about me."
"Me? You're the one who doesn't respond to any of my texts. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the older brother. And now you're calling me in the middle of the day? Aren't you supposed to be in class? You're lucky I'm not in class, I wouldn't have responded if I were," Kyle reprimanded in one breath, I winced sending Tripp a sheepish smile when he threw a warning glance my way, no doubt wishing me luck with Kyle.
"I'm sorry," I began, apologizing. There was really no excuse for not contacting my brother, I could have involved him, brought him into my troubles. But that was the one thing I didn't want to do. "Things weren't the easiest when I arrived and I've just barely caught up with myself." Actually, why wasn't he in class?
There was a long pause, another shift before my brother's voice came through, a lot clearer than before. "Did Tripp confess to you?"
An incoherent noise escaped my throat, "You knew?"
He let out a soft laugh, as if trying to comfort me. It was appreciated, "Yeah, I've known since the beginning. He's liked you since that first night that we stayed over at his place."
No way, I looked back over to the kitchen, spotting Tripp in his natural environment. Since then?
But then—-
"Why didn't you tell me?" The question was soft, I didn't blame him, or hold it against him. My feelings for my best friend had slowly morphed and changed into longing during my junior year. Even when some part of me was aware of the change, there was still the constant convincing that it hadn't. That everything was still the same. And that my feelings were just being exaggerated by my own loneliness.
"Logan," Kyle says, "Things were different when you lived here. It's a small-minded town with high expectations, and our family issues didn't exactly help. Neither of our parents paid us any attention and when they did; it was negative. I mean," A sarcastic laugh and a tug to my bottom lip. "Mom walked out on us and dad stabbed you."
He had a point. When didn't he?
"You coped with training and sleeping around. It wasn't the healthiest thing but Tripp has always done his best to be there for you. Knowing the guy, he probably knew that confessing while you lived in this house was never the best thing. You suck at dealing with emotions and stress - no offense."
A huff escaped me, he's right. But in this case, it had ended up the same. Because I was stressed, and I suck at reading my emotions. In this case, neither me nor Tripp confessing was the downfall of my confidence for the first half of the semester.
"I miss you." Tripp comes over, flicking his finger so I open my mouth. I do, humming at the chocolate chips he feeds me and thanking him.
"I miss you too." I push aside the fact that - oh my god, that makes my heart ache.
"Do you. . .this is going to sound really weird, do you remember if I had an elementary friend?"
Kyle hums on the other side of the line, "I don't remember much from elementary actually, except that I fucking recked Leo at the swings." I snorted a laugh because I was the one that taught him how high to get before jumping, it was my greatest first grade accomplishment. "We always raced to the buses- oh! Yeah you had a friend, I don't remember his name though. He was a little darker skinned than you, light brown eyes, like hazel practically and this like auburn brown hair?"
That description suited Kai but still, "Do you remember anything else about him?"
Another long hum, "I think- don't quote me, but didn't he start sleeping over a lot? I think his parents were having issues and there weren't other family members in the area to take care of him. It was only a couple of days a week though. Is that enough?"
There was no time to think, no time to formulate a response because that matched exactly with Kai's story. "I-Is there a way for you to come to my university?"
More shuffling. Should I explain it to him now? No, that would risk more questions that I don't have answers to. "I just checked. I can get a flight tonight and be there around 2 A.M., that work?"
"Yeah," I breathed out. "That works fine, just bring clothes for a week and I'll contact your school about the absences."
"And, actually," I persisted. "Why aren't you in class right now?"
My brother hummed on the other side of the line. "What was that? School? I am in school, what are you talking about?"
Of course he was. We said our goodbyes and I couldn't help feeling more anxious than before. With shaky hands I looked for Kai's contact information, sending him a message.
To: K(reep)ai
My brother is coming over for a week, can you come over tomorrow at noon to update him?
From: K(reep)ai
Is this you agreeing to help me?
To: K(reep)ai
I don't know
There was no response after that, and I didn't push it, the topic of my father and what he could have possibly done to my supposed friend started to form a heavy drop in my stomach. The main question that continued popping up in my mind; why? Was he. . . is he a pedophile? Were there other people involved? Were there other children?
And. . .Tripp, exactly how long has he liked me? We had both dated during high school, had he ... I stop myself. Tripp dating during highschool has nothing to do with where we are now. The fact is, I never gave into my feelings for Tripp during high school- so there was nothing wrong with Tripp 'liking' me and dating other people.
It would've hurt more, I would've rejected him- and we wouldn't be here.
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