Warnings: Mentions of drug use
February 2nd, 1985, LA
Theresa came down to come and get me from Toronto Canada and fly with me back to LA. I had an audition for an upcoming movie in December and an interview with Joan Rivers in February. I was staying at Theresa's apartment because Tamara was out in Paris for fashion week.
"So how was your Christmas and New Years?" Theresa asked as we walked into her tiny apartment.
"It was good no complaints. Hope yours was good as well?"
"It was, I went to go see my parents. They were excited to see me." She smiled. "So Motley Crue huh." She broke the tension.
"Yeah Tammy told me, wow." I say sitting on the couch. "Hey, did you book the car service and glam team for my interview with Joan Rivers?" I asked.
"Um no not yet I'll do it closer to the day."
"OK. Well I'm a bit hungry, you got anything to eat?"
"Uh no but we can go out and get something if you'd like?" Theresa says searching in the fridge.
"Sure, that sounds great." I respond.
Later in the afternoon...
Theresa was on the phone talking to one of her friends, it sounded like she was making plans with them.
"So Iman one of my friends is having her birthday today at this club called the Whiskey A GO GO and wants me to come out, do you think your alright to stay on your own, or would you like to come out?" She asked
"Oh no I'll stay in doors; you go out and enjoy your self I'll be alright."
Later at Night....
I heard the door open and shut as I was sleeping. I also heard loud voices and things knocking around. I got up to check out what that noise was.
"Theresa are you OK?" I asked coming out of the room.
My eyes went wide when I saw Theresa. But it wasn't so much her it was who she was with. Robbin Crosby, Nikki Sixx and two other guys who I have never seen before. They're completely wasted.
"Iman help me please there all whacked out of there minds, they were trying to drive home so I just brought them here instead." She says as she's holding Nikki up, and the other two guys are holding Robbin up.
"Um....sure ok" I say running to help her pick up Nikki.
We throw Nikki on the couch and he's passed out completely. Theresa then guides the other two towards her room so Robbin can sleep on her bed.
"Thanks, so much guys you can crash on the other couch. It's a pull out so you two will be comfortable on it."
"Thanks Theresa we appreciate it." One of the guys spoke up with an English accent.
They took the pillows off the couch and pulled it out and got into the bed. Theresa went and brought some blankets for them.
"Thank you love." The other guy smiled at her.
"Here come with me." She pulled my arm and I followed her into my room.
"Theresa what the-"
"I know I know." She interrupted me. "Look I went out with my friend to the Whiskey A GO GO and Nikki, Robbin, and these two guys from Hanoi Rocks Mike Monroe and Andy McCoy were there drinking. And I saw them trying to drive so I took Nikki's car keys and drove them all here.
"That was good of you. Who are Hanoi Rocks by the way?" I asked with curiosity.
"There a rock band. The guy Razzle was there drummer, remember the one that was killed in the car crash with Vince."
"Oh yeah I remember."
"Anyways get some sleep, we'll talk tomorrow." She walks halfway out my door then turns around a little "Y' know Nikki has been asking about you since I got to the whiskey." she smiled.
"Goodnight Theresa." I say shoving her out of my room and shutting the door.
So, Nikki was still thinking about me. I thought he would have hated me. But either way I need to stay far away from him and his band.
I woke up the next morning to see a note on the side of my bed that read Went to go get breakfast- Terri. I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom to brush and shower. When I got to the bathroom, I saw the guy from yesterday combing his hair and applying makeup on his face.
"Oh, sorry I'll just wait till your done." I said as I backed away.
"Iman, right?" He spoke looking at me through the mirror.
"Hi... um yes, and your?"
"Michael... Michael Monroe from Hanoi Rocks."
"Its nice to meet you. I'm a... I'm sorry about your drummer Razzle." I whispered.
"Thank you." He responded as he wiped the make up off his face. And started reapplying it.
I watched him do that a couple of times and realized that could be a coping mechanism for him.
I turned and headed towards the living room. Nikki was sitting on the couch with another guy watching the news. He didn't look like him self, in fact he looked terrible.
"Why's Vince on the news?" Nikki asked with a slurred voice.
"That's for the manslaughter charge Nikki." I looked at him.
"Oh yeah." He leans his bed back on the sofa.
"Hi I'm Andy I'm from the rock group Hanoi Rocks, and you must be Iman." He got up to come and shake my hand.
"Hi yes I am. I'm sorry about your drummer Razzle," I shook his hand.
"You are a beauty; I can see why Nikki likes you." He looked down at Nikki and smiled. He walked back over and sat on the couch.
Nikki just glared at him. His eyes were droopy and red, and he smelt really bad.
"So, have you talked to Vince?" I asked sitting next to Nikki.
"No."
"Why not?" I furrowed my eyebrows.
"Because he ruined my band." He scoffed.
"Oh, well don't you think-"
"Don't you think you should shut up and mind your own fucking business!" He snapped.
"You know what Nikki I'll do just that." I got up to walk back to the washroom but turned back to give him a piece of my mind. " Vince is your band mate, your best friend, and your brother. You guys just finished a successful tour that not many rock bands have been blessed to have. I'm sure you have experienced some of the best times together and shared stories and even shared girls with each other. And your telling me that you can't even pick up the phone to call him, or visit him. He needs your support." I turned on my heel and walked away.
The door opened and Theresa came in with Robbin carrying breakfast for everyone. She set it down on the table and the boys started to dig in. I showered and stayed in the room rehearsing my lines for my audition and worrying about my first interview on TV ever with Joan Rivers.
Knock Knock
"Yes come in."
Nikki opened the door and let him self into my room. He sat down on the bed and just stared at me. He honestly didn't look like himself. And I don't think it was stress.
"How was your Christmas?" He asked
How was my Christmas??? How dare him even ask me that after the way he yelled at me.
"I'll answer that after you give me an apology for the way you spoke to me out there." I replied.
"I don't owe you shit." He snapped
"Really...after your outburst just now. You know.... I think you are that guy I met in New York Nikki."
Nikki was seething with anger, his fists rolled up into a ball and he clenched his jaw.
"Fuck you." He sneered.
"Get out!" I grabbed my lamp on the dresser "Now!" I screamed and threw it at the door barely missing him.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, you're psycho." He yelled.
"Get out Nikki!"
He flipped me off and then opened the door and slammed it shut.
A hole.
____
I finished my audition it went well. So, all I had to do was wait a couple days to hear a call back. Now as for my interview I was nervous about it. Me and Theresa were sitting in her car outside her apartment. We just sat there talking while she had a smoke when all of a sudden, we here another car pull up behind us. I looked through the rear-view mirror and realized it was Nikki's car. Robbin was in there too.
"Is there a reason that there here?" I asked Theresa.
"Well Nikki has been asking about you through Robbin."
"What do you mean through Robbin?" I looked at Theresa.
"Well me and Robbin are kind of together. Were taking things slow." She smiled.
"Theresa after what they did at the Rainbow you still want that guy?"
"Look Iman he's sweet OK. He told me he was sorry. I forgave him. Besides he wants us to go out for lunch today."
"I'll pass."
"No, your coming." She opens her car door and puts out her cigarette.
I see their car door open on the passenger's side and Robbin walks towards Theresa giving her a hug and a kiss. I open my car door and walk towards the apartment to slip away quickly.
"Nooooo I don't think so your coming." Theresa chuckled and I huffed.
Nikki was driving his car, I sat in the passenger's seat while Theresa and Robbin sat in the back giggling and whispering to each other. Nikki kept taking his eyes off the road to look at me. While I chose to look out the window.
"Is there something you want to listen to princess?" Nikki asked looking over at me.
No response
"I hear you have your first TV interview coming up, that must be exciting." He smiled. "And its Joan Rivers too."
No response
Nikki looked agitated; I know he was trying to talk to me but he really did hurt my feelings with blowing up on me earlier on in the day. Usually I'm a diva with a temper. But today I was being a sassy diva
We pulled up to a Diner. I was getting ready to get out of the car when Nikki grabbed my arm.
"Can we talk.... please?" He pleaded and I rolled my eyes.
"We're going to go in, Iman just hear him out OK." Theresa rubbed my back and got out with Robbin.
"look I'm sorry for how I treated you earlier, I'm just upset over the whole Vince thing. I don't know how to handle it."
"Well drinking and having an attitude aren't going to help you handle it any better. And it's not just your outburst earlier today it was last year as well when you pushed me." I crossed my arms over my chest.
"What the fuck, Mani if I remember correctly you slapped me." Nikki turned his full body towards me.
"Well you deserved it; you insulted my family."
"Because you insulted me!" He shouted.
"We're going no where with this Nikki I'm leaving." I opened the car door and he leaned over me quickly and shut it back.
"What the hell Nikki!"
"I would never hurt you on purpose Mani never. And I'm so sorry for last year and what I did today. I just want us to go back to how we were when we were at the record store and when we were meeting at the cafe. I miss you. And I know you miss me too."
He stared at me in my eyes and I needed to turn away from him immediately. I was trying to stay away from him, but it just wasn't working. He was driving me insane.
"I'm sorry I made those comments to you and slapped you." I turned scratching my neck.
"I might need you to kiss it better for me." Nikki bit his lips and leaned closer to me.
"Nikki I'll punch your jaw." I laughed while pushing him away and opening the car door.
After we ate at the Diner, we went back to the boys home. Nikki helped me with my nerves for my interview that was coming up. He had been interviewed several times, so he already knew what it was like. After that we all just sat around watching TV. Nikki and Robbin kept excusing themselves to go to the bathroom. Nikki now was in the bathroom and I had to go. I walked into the bedroom and headed to the bathroom.
"Um Nik I have to pee." I knocked on the door
"Oh, uh one sec."
I heard fiddling and things dropping on the ground. He finally opened the door. And he looked different. His eyes were red and droopy, and he was holding on to the door for a bit of support.
"Nikki you OK, you don't look so good?" I moved forward and tried to touch him.
"I'm alright just a stomach-ache." He moved back.
"Nik there's blood coming down your arm." I reached to grab his arm, but he pulled away.
"I'm fine Iman fuck." He spat. "You said you needed to pee so you can go." He grabbed a little silver box off the counter and moved me to the side and walked out.
I wasn't sure what was going on, but what ever it is Robbin was behaving like Nikki. And I started wondering to myself if Theresa was doing what ever it is that they were doing.
______
February 16, 1985
It was the day of my interview. I quickly got up and got dressed. Tamara told Theresa to book me a glam team and a car service for today. The glam team should be waiting for me when I get there. And the car service was coming to pick me up for 7:00 because my interview was at 10. I ran to Theresa's room to wake her up so she could get ready. But she wasn't in there. She had been partying nonstop with Nikki, Robbin, and the members of Hanoi Rocks for the past couple of months.
"Oh my God where is she!" I was freaking out.
Maybe she got up early to grab breakfast for us, or maybe she's downstairs in the lobby. I ran downstairs to check the lobby and she wasn't there. I came back up and decided to call Nikki and Robbin.
Ring Ring Ring
"Mm hello."
"Hello, Nikki its Iman please is Theresa there?" I asked a little panicked.
"Yeah but she's recovering from a hang over."
"A hang over! I have my interview today she knows that!" I shouted.
"Hey, don't shout in my fucking ear ok, I had a long night." Nikki spat.
"Just put her on the phone please Nikki."
There was a bit of fumbling and then she answered the phone.
"Hello." She slurred
"Hi hello my interview is today you need to hurry back!"
"Mm can you just do it by yourself I had a long fucking night and my head is pounding. You'll be fine. I need to get some sleep." I heard a thump on the other end, but the phone wasn't hung up.
"Hello, hello, Theresa." I called out.
"Iman." It was Nikki's voice.
I started sniffling." Nikki I can't do this alone." I started crying. "She knew how much this interview meant to me. How could she do this?"
"Princess you'll be fine OK just remember what I told you, have fun with it ok." Nikki spoke calmly.
"OK." He hung up.
8:23 am
"Where the hell is the car service?" I started pacing the room. I grabbed the phone and dialed Nikki's number again.
"Hello?" "Nikki is Theresa still there?" I asked frustrated.
"Uuuuh yeah but I don't think she can come to the phone." Nikki responded hesitantly.
"Oh God Nikki ask her if she booked the car service for me to get to the interview. It was supposed to be here at 7:00 my interview is at 10 am." I burst into tears.
"Hey Theresa, hey wake the fuck up. Did you book Iman's car service?" Nikki yelled.
"No, she didn't she said she forgot. Don't worry princess."
"I have to worry I'll never make it Nikki." I cried.
"Yes, you will." Nikki hung up the phone.
8:50
I heard a knock on the door. I ran to the door and opened it and saw Nikki standing there.
"Hey princess." He smiled.
I nearly burst into tears seeing him. I jumped into his arms and gave him a big hug. My hero. We got into his car and he sped down the roads. We arrived just in time. But Theresa forgot to book a glam team for me. So, I had to go on in the black dress I was wearing and sandals. Tamara was not going to be happy about my look. My hair was in a bun, but I let it down, it was a bit wavy. And I didn't have any make up on.
"I look terrible." I frowned and Nikki furrowed his eyebrows.
"I've never seen a more beautiful woman in my whole entire life." He put his hand under my chin for me to look up at him.
We stared at each other. Even though it was just seconds it felt like years. We both leaned in ready to do something I have never done before.
"Hey Iman, 2 Minutes till go time."
Our eye gaze was interrupted by Joan's producer. And a good thing to. I can't be with Nikki. So far 3 people have already told me no.
_____
Joan Rivers- My next guest is a star on the rising. She has been on 30 teen magazine covers, she has stared in the hit block buster movie of 1983, and she's also staring in the new TV comedy sitcom. Please give it up for our darling, Iman Darlington.
I walk and wave at everyone. Oh, my goodness I'm so nervous.
Joan Rivers- Hi Iman it's a pleasure to have you.
Iman- it's a pleasure to be here. Thank you.
The interview went very well. By the time she asked me about my family and growing up I was comfortable. But more so because I glanced to the side to see Nikki standing there. It really helped me. I walked off and hugged Nikki. I felt so happy. Hopefully my other interviews would be just like this.
_______
"Nikki I honestly don't even know how to thank you for this." I smiled, I felt like a million dollars.
"Well, I mean a kiss on the lips would be nice." Nikki turned to me and pouted.
"Keep your eyes on the road Nikki." I chuckled.
"Well I'm kind of hungry we can go out to eat?"
"Nikki you're always going out to eat, can't you cook?" I raised an eyebrow.
"No never learned. Can you cook?" He asked with an amused look.
"Yes, I can, I was taught at a young age."
"So then why don't you cook for me?" He smiled.
I must admit his smile was so cute and it didn't help that he covered his eyes so that he couldn't be seen. It made him so adorable.
"We have to go to the grocery store."
____
It was weird seeing Nikki in the grocery store. He didn't look like he fitted in with the rest of the customers. But he was so cute picking out fruits and vegetables. People were staring at us, we looked like an odd couple me looking all dolled up like a princess and him looking like a rock star in all leather. Plus, he was Nikki Sixx after all, so girls were fawning over him. They kept coming up to him and asking for pictures. So, I was left to shop by myself pushing my cart.
"I don't know if crushed Tomatoes would be better for a stew." I say to myself.
"I usually use crushed Tomatoes for making stew." A voice responded behind me. I turned around and saw a very handsome man standing behind me.
"Oh, do you, and how does it taste?" I asked.
"Well.... you can find out your self if you'd like?" He smiled.
His teeth were white, Colgate white. He looked sleek and slick. Like someone you would take to go meet your parents. I could tell he was rich as well with the Givenchy suit, he was wearing.
"That sounds-"
"Iman!" Nikki called out interrupting me while walking towards me.
"Oh, hey Nik." I say scratching behind my neck.
Well this is awkward.
"Can I help you?" Nikki asked crossing his arms over his chest sizing the man up.
"Uh... I was just helping the young lady decide on a good stew." He smiled nervously.
I could tell Nikki didn't like him already. Nikki seemed like a very jealous type of guy.
"We're leaving now." Nikki grabs my arm and pulls the cart.
We paid for the groceries and headed out to his car. Nikki was quiet during the car ride. He gripped onto the steering wheel tight to the point where his knuckles were turning white.
"Nikki." I called out to him and he ignored me. "Nikki" I sighed. "He was really helping me with a good stew." I chuckled.
"Iman don't be naive. He was trying to get your number. You're just a piece of ass to him."
"Wow OK." I looked out the window.
"Look you're mine OK, and I don't want anyone else near you or having you." Nikki mumbled.
"Nikki you're not my boyfriend I can talk to guys if I want to." It went a bit quiet in the car.
"We'll see about that." Nikki scoffed.
In truth I liked Nikki but as a friend. I didn't want anything else more than that.
______
We were in the kitchen cooking. And Nikki seriously had no idea what he was doing. I had to give him an easy task. And that task was boiling water, but even that was too hard for him. He kept excusing himself to go to the bathroom and leaving me to watch the water. I decided on making lasagna.
"Hey Nik, the lasagna is in the oven so we could just chill and watch TV while we wait." I called out to him.
No response
I walked towards the bathroom and knocked on the door "Hey Nik, you alright?" I called. "Nikki." I knocked on the door again.
"Yeah I'm good I just have a... a runny stomach is all."
"Oh OK." I walked away.
I walked to the living room and turned on the TV and sat on the couch. It had been a couple minutes and Nikki was still in the bathroom. Finally, the door opened and he came out. And he didn't look good.
"Jesus Nikki you look pale, are you alright?" I stood up and cupped his cheeks in my hand.
"Yeah yeah um...I gotta I gotta go OK." He rushed past me.
"But the lasagna Nikki?"
"Just save me some OK princess." He turned back and kissed my forehead and bolted out the door.
Later that Night
I heard the front door open, so I came out of my room and saw Theresa, she looked just like Nikki pale and sick with droopy eyes. Something wasn't right and I'm starting to feel like it's drugs. After all, she had white powder on her nose in the bathroom at the Rainbow where Nikki took us.
_____
February 17, 1985
Nikki called me early in the morning and asked if I wanted to come with him to the recording studio. I agreed, I thought it would be interesting to see how people recorded in a studio. Motley were to be releasing their new album this year.
"Where you off to?" Theresa asked.
"Nikki asked me if I could come to the recording studio with him." I responded while making my self breakfast.
"Do you want something to eat, you look frail?"
"No, I don't, and Tamara is not going to be happy with you going any where with Nikki. You know that already." she frowned.
I'm not sure what has gotten into Theresa, but she seemed a little bitter. Maybe even a bit mad.
"Its just them recording. I'll give you the address. It's at Cherokee Studios."
"It doesn't matter Iman OK; Nikki is bad news. And so is Robbin. They have been strutting the streets of LA with the guys from Hanoi Rocks as if they are kings of the world." Theresa snapped.
I was so confused at what was going on. "Did Robbin or Nikki do something to you?" We were interrupted by a knock at the door. I went to open it and Nikki was there. He looked pale and tired.
"Hey princess you ready?"
"Yeah let me just grab my bag." I say walking to the room. When I came back out Theresa and Nikki didn't say one word to each other. In fact, they were scowling at each other.
___
"Oh, what's this?" I grabbed a book off the floor of his car. "The Theater of Cruelty." I read. "What's this about?"
"Well, I was reading about the relationship between theater, politics, and culture from the olden days when entertainers who failed to make a king laugh would be put to death."
"Oh, that sounds interesting. What's the album called?"
"Originally, I was going to call it Entertainment or Death, but I changed it to Theater of Pain. And I'll tell you something funny. Our manager Doug Thaler tattooed it on his arm." He laughed.
Nikki's laugh was charming. But when I heard him speak, I could tell he was very intellectual. He told me more about what he wanted from the album. But he also said he had only written 5 songs. We arrived at the studio and it was nothing like I have ever seen before. There were two rooms, I guess one side was for recording and the other was for mixing the recordings. Mick was sitting on the couch drinking vodka; Tommy was hitting his head on his drums and there was Jack Daniel bottles everywhere with a platter of white substance in it.
"Hey Sixx is here Tommy." Mick spoke up. "Hey Iman, how are you?"
"Hey Mick, I'm good just checking you guys out." I smiled.
"Dude, dude, dude hey long time Iman, why'd you stay away from us?" Tommy ran and picked me up and swung me around.
"I'm sorry I've been really busy. How's your wife Candice?"
"Oh, I divorced her crazy ass." Tommy laughed.
They all looked like a mess. Nikki excused himself to go to the bathroom. And when he came back out, he sat on the couch and started drinking. His eyes became droopy and he looked like he was about to pass out.
"Dude check this out." Tommy grabbed me and pulled me towards the piano he started playing a tune on it that sounded so nice.
"Wow I love it." I looked over and saw Tommy's drum kit. I had always wanted to sit behind a drum kit. "So, uh Tommy, can I?" I pointed to the drum kit.
"Yeah dude c'mon." He pulled me and I sat in front of him and he sat behind me. He took my hand in his and started hitting the drums slow. "Mmmmm you smell good." Tommy smiled at me.
I turned my head to the side to look at him and smiled back. "Well it's the lotion I use." I smirked
"I'd love to try some of that lotion but not from the bottle." Tommy joked.
I turned around and saw Nikki glaring at us. He did not look happy. As a matter of fact, he was clenching his jaw.
The door all of a sudden open and in walks Vince. When Vince arrived at the studio there was no tearful reunion. It was awkward in there, very awkward. I at least broke the tension and got up to give him a hug.
"Hey how are you feeling?" I broke the hug.
"Not too good, but m getting there. Thanks for asking." He walked past me and headed to the guys.
"Hey." Vince spoke to the guys.
"Hey." Nikki spoke up.
"Um here are the lyrics."
"Home sweet home" Vince looked up at Nikki.
"Yeah it's been too long brother." Nikki smiled. "Here, have a bump with me." Nikki picked up the silver platter and handed it to Vince.
Vince leaned down and snorted what I now know is drugs off the silver platter. My eyes went wide when I saw Vince cover up his mouth and run to the garbage throwing everything up.
"What the fuck was that?" Vince asked.
"Smack, man," Nikki told him
"Smack? What the fuck are you doing that for?"
"Because it's cool."
"Jesus you're fucked up, fuck you!! I know what you guys all are thinking. Yeah I'm the bad guy I killed Razzle but it could have happened to anyone of you!" Vince shouted and left the studio.
"Nice job Nikki." Mick spoke up.
______
Nikki dropped me back at Theresa's place, and walked me upstairs.
"So, you going to let me come in?" He moved closer to me and wrapped his arms around my waist.
"No." I responded dryly.
"You're a tough one. Most girls are begging to be with me. But you...you keep running away from me. Why's that?" He chuckled as he pulled me in closer.
"Cause I'm not like those rocker girls you talk to." I whispered.
He leaned down closing the gap between us and I pulled away. "Why do you do drugs Nikki?" I asked.
His eyes went wide.
"Princess I only snort coke that's it."
"Yeah, but even that is bad."
Nikki glared at me and clenched his jaw. "I have to go." He told me.
"Nikki wait I'm telling you this as your friend it's not-
"Just mind your own business Iman, OK!" He snapped and cut me off.
"OK." I said quietly.
He stormed off and walked away. All I could say was that Nikki is trouble.