"Nothing will happen if you do nothing."
I know, I know. But I'm not doing nothing. I'm doing something. I don't think is something enough though.
I look to where Yamaguchi was once walking. Much so my surprise he wasn't there anymore. When did he leave? I take this as an opportunity and grab the hand next to mine. He takes it without out even thinking. Then he looked to Yamaguchi's empty spot with surprise. I guess he didn't know when he left ether.
We hold each others hands and don't bother to fully let got. One hand was always in contact with the other. Even when we make it to the park. Even when we went to sit down at a bench to take in the view of the small lake and just talk for hours. Even when we end up walking to a near by convenient store for a late lunch. We are only force to let go when we get there so that we can find our food any eat it. It pained me to let go. It feels like he could just get up and walk away and disappear forever. I just want to hold him in my hands and forever know that he's not going anywhere.
We spend the rest of the day doing nothing and everything together. I tried to teach him how to draw. It doesn't go as planned. Our hands are covers in ink and lead. He teaches me some more volleyball. We pass the ball around with my bad passes and receives. Our arms are covers in purpleing bruises. The sky above begins to bruise as well in clouds of purples and pinks and orange.
It's been a long day and I've been on edge for all of it as the advice my friend gave it on repeat in my head, Nothing will happen if you do nothing.
"Aw, the sky is cloudy. You can't see the stars." I say looking up to the cloud covered sky as it darkens. I love looking at the stars dancing in the sky. I wanted to look at them with Tsukishima. I guess I won't be able to. We decide to go to Tsukishima's house for supper. It was close by and it was getting late.
I'm welcomed like I'm apart of the family, with welcoming and kind, warmth and love. We waste away more time there with good food and better company. They ask me questions about my self with great curiosity. We share stories and laughs, even Tsukki joins in despite his outward looks of disinterest. The sky is no longer dark blue, it's turned black. I begin worrying about getting home.
"No, no it's too late now. We have a spare room up stairs. Stay for the night it's to late now for you to go home." Tsukki's mother insist.
"Thank you." Honestly I'm relieved. I didn't want to walk home in the cold and dark.
"No problem dear, I'll show you to where your room is." I follow behind her. As we pass the living room I glance out the porch and find the sky still covered in a thick layer of clouds. The small room has a simple single size bed and a dresser and some storage boxes in the corner of the room. "Pardon the mess, I will be right back with some a change for closes for the night and a tooth brush. The bathroom is two doors down." On that note she's off.
After awkwardly saying goodnight to Tsukki from across the hall, I close my door and crawl into bed with the oversized t-shirt and slightly too big sweatpants that I have to roll up the bottom so that I don't trip over myself. These most likely once belonged to Tsukishima. I've decided that I'm accidentally gonna keep these.
Sleep is fleeting. I'm uncomfortable and comfortable all at the same time. The stacked boxes cast a shadow on the wall that won't leave the corner of my eye. I roll around for a few minutes or hours. There is a sudden itch on the inside of my arm that I scratch at. Few seconds later it doesn't go away. Thinking of it, it doesn't really feel like an itch. It feel more like some one is drawing on me. Wait...
I sit up and turn on the light and I see it. In the inside of my arm, letters carefully forming. Each letter in blue ink. One after the other. Until a sentence is formed.
Come out onto the porch. You can see the stars now.
My heart swells and races and pulls. It pulls me quickly to my feet and out the bedroom door. Come to think about it, I've never felt a note being written by the other. This is the first time that I've felt him write his note. More and more new things keep happening with us. I wonder what will happen next.
I spot Tsukki on the porch looking up at the living black sky. He's looking a the dancing stars with such childlike wonder. It's a beautiful look on him.
I slowly open the door and join him. I take a spot next to him closer that I might normally, it was cold outside. The smell of soap and something warm filled my senses making me feel warm and soft. He makes me feel that way. Warm and alive. He also makes me feel like I've run a marathon, with my heat racing and my face getting considerably warm. He also makes me feel like I've just crosses and desert and he's glistening water, I can't get enough of him. When we're apart I long for him to the point were I'm driven mad. He makes me feel. Feel more than I've ever felt. An emotional rollercoster that I want to ride over and over again because the ride is so fun. All of it is an experience, the pressure from climbing up, the flying stomach, the twists and turn and the spinning head and the uncontainable laughter.
"Did you know," His eyes are torn from the stars above and drawn to me. He still holds the same look of wonder. "I felt you writing. I've never felt that before." My voice is barely above a whisper. He's still looking at me like I'm in the sky twinkling and dancing, like I'm a star.
"Maybe this soulmate thing is more than writing vaguely cryptic messages on our skin to try and communicate with each other. Maybe the connection it different from what we're told. Did you know that I knew that you walked in the gym, the moment I heard the door opened. I didn't even need to look." There is something about the stars that opens a person up. That stops them from hiding and makes you say things that later sounds stupid or cringey or beautiful as you try to recollect your memory from the star drunken night before.
'Nothing will happen of you do nothing'
"Hey, Tsukki?"
"Yes?"
"I'm... I'm tired of waiting."
His eye's momentarily widen. Then he hides behind a smirk. I get ready for the smart ass comment he's going to make because on the inside he's panicking and he doesn't know what to do with himself. Trust me, I've seen it enough times.
"Waiting for what?" He says through his smirk as if he didn't know what I was implying.
Well, that wasn't that bad. This was kinda like the phone thing I pulled on him when we first met. So this is pay back I suppose.
I open my mouth to retaliate but Tsukishima's face notably softens and looks back up to the stars. He speaks before I can, "Then don't wait." What he says is simple, but I can read him like he's a book written in a tongue that was gifted only to me. Don't wait, it says, Because the world waits for no one. So jump the line and run in head first and if you fall I will be there too because I don't plan on waiting much longer either. I should still clarify with him.
"Do you still want to wait?" I ask, my voice almost doesn't make it out of my mouth.
He looks back at me and he's hiding nothing. With the stars in his eyes and the world on our side he says like he's never been more sure of anything in him life, "No."
The motion is fluid and slow. I let go of the fight I've held against the pull. I let it draw me to him as he draws to me. We meet in the middle. Flood gates have opened and a feeling of electric warmth fills me. Soft lips meet for a short sweet kiss. Our lips pull away, but we don't. We rest against each other, forehead to forehead. He looks into my eyes like they hold the starry sky, like it's the secret of the heavens.
"Can-can we be a thing? Are we a thing? Can I have you? I want you. Will you be mine? I will be yours." His low voice was breathy as he mummers, like he doesn't quite know what to say. I don't know any better as I'm left without proper response, only a simple one because all this is anything but simple. I don't want to make anything any more complicated. So I say my simple answer with a world of meaning behind it:
"Yes."
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{a/n: Thank you for actually reading this. I'm am so overjoyed at all the reads and votes and comments! }