It is Monday again and I wonder where the desire to start the university I had at the beginning of September went. I'm on my way to college with Jake to update each other's lives considering I haven't seen him all this weekend and haven't been able to talk to him. Hopefully, he manages to clear up for me a little bit the doubts I have running through my head about whatever I'm going to find when I enter my class.
"I've got good news!" Jake announces me putting his arm over my shoulders.
"What is it? You gotta tell me!" I shout excitedly and he laughs.
"Try to guess it" I scoff at his answer and try to think of something that could have happened this last weekend.
"Has Marvel already released the new trailer for the new Avengers movie?" I question and he mouths we wish. "I don't like this game, could you already say it?"
We reached the door of his faculty which is a short distance from mine and I force him to stand on his feet. Is he really going to leave me with this intrigue until we meet at the end of classes today? I hate that they tell me that and then they hide their hand. This only increases my anxiety and I'm not in the mood today for that.
"Okay, I'll tell you" he finally says and I wait for him to go on. "I am already officially part of the fraternity"
I jump excited and give him a huge hug, "I'm so happy for you! I knew they would see your worth!" Jake rests his head on mine and you don't have to see him to know he's smiling proudly. He has succeeded.
"But nobody should know it yet, they are in pre-selection." he says as we pull apart from each other and I gaze at him confused. What?
"That doesn't make any sense" I ask confused.
"Let's say that my friend has pulled some strings and they have already secured me a place." Jake shrugs and I nod understanding. That's what having good contacts makes, I think to myself. "And what are you up to today?" he asks crossing his arms over his chest looking straight at me. Shit, that pose is hot.
"Why are you asking?" I reply confused once I've shaked these thoughts.
"Don't get me wrong but you look prettier than usual.", he just says and I just blush, why the f**k I do that every time someone say something nice to me? I need it to stop because it's getting embarrassing.
"Oh, thank you Jakey!" I tease him.
"Don't call me that ever again", he threatens me and I put my hand up in surrender, "Is it a boy, right? You met someone in that party" I open my eyes wide because of his power of deduction but I quickly recover my composure, but not in time, "I knew it, I just knew it"
"I'm going to be late if I say here any longer, so have a nice day Jakey!" I wave goodbye at him quickly and he just roll his eyes before getting in.
I walk slowly up the stairs and I'm still tired. I should exercise more but I know this is a lie that I tell myself, why lie? I go to the toilet near my class, I put the lipstick on my lips and after that, I go to my class. I get nervous when I see the girls talking on the stairs next to our class but I let the air out when I don't see Thomas. What should I say when I see him? Do we talk a little like always or is he going to talk to me more?
"Girl, you're late!" Lizzy screams pointing at her watch and I tell her to fuck off.
"We have saved you a place, you have been lucky. Because the class is full today and we know that you don't like sitting at the back."
"I like that but I get distracted easily", I add
"Why were you late?" Jane asks.
"As usual, I was on my way with Jake and we stopped to talk. Nothing new, why?"
"Can you introduce me to him? He's pretty handsome"
"I know, all my friends are incredibly pretty including you but back off, I'm the next on the list" I look at her threateningly as a joke.
"Talking about friends, I know someone who seemed to have fun in the party." Jane let her words fall without warning and I get nervous. Is she talking about me? but... how?
"I just made up with a boy but it wasn't a big deal, we were both drunk, Jane" Lizzy exclaims brushing it off.
"What the hell? When were you going to say that?"
"Weren't you talking about me?" Lizzy questions awkwardly, "Shit"
"But now you have some explanations to do" I exclaim.
"I was talking about Thomas" Jane clarifies and I swallow hard. Will they already know? Has Thomas told them?
" What made you think of that?"
"He disappeared 10 minutes after you left to find Bailee. And later, Thomas came back with red puffy lips and and livelier than normal. Anyways, I very much doubt that he will tell us something."
"And what about... Shit, the professor is coming. Let's get in!" Lizzy instruct us.
We quickly enter class and sit next to Lizzy after thanking her as she removed her backpack. I take out the pen to take notes and Lizzy next to me looks at her nails. She has the theory that it is no use taking notes the first day and she is probably right but I don't want to risk it.
The teacher was speaking when the door opened and I forced myself to keep looking at my notes pretending that I am writing important things.
"Sorry I'm late, can I come in?" Thomas murmurs without much concern in his voice and I hear him asking to pass to sit somewhere in the front row. I let out a sigh and look at the teacher as he continues his explanation.
The class runs normally for the first hour, students taking notes, Lizzy looking everywhere, Jane paying attention and people laughing behind her because of who knows what. The teacher sends us to read an exercise individually and I smile to myself because it is very easy.
"Ssshh, Giselle" Lizzy whispers in my ear and I glance at her as I do the exercise.
"What happens?" I say still not looking at her.
"Thomas doesn't stop looking at our direction and it's getting on my nerves"
Unsure, I look up to see Thomas who is joking with his partner next to him with his back against the wall. Yeah, he likes to get comfortable. His friend starts to write something and Thomas's gaze falls on mine, catching me looking at him. He grins amused at me, revealing his teeth, and I looks sheepishly at my notebook, biting my lower lip nervously.
"Just act like he doesn't exist", I recommend after a few seconds.
"Like it would be that easy. He is probably one of the few guys worth seeing here." She scoffs.
I remain silent because the truth is that I can't deny the obvious. Also, we have to take into account that in this type of university degrees there are not many boys, but of the ones currently in my class, Thomas is the most handsome, in my opinion.
At first glance he may seem like the typical English boy: light brown hair, light eyes ... but he has something that stands out, perhaps it is the fact that he does not talk much to the girls in class or that he usually keeps quiet on topics that he's not interested when we are in a group. He seems very independent. Because the truth is that I don't know much about him, nor is it that he doesn't make the effort so that we know him.
He's mysterious. Maybe it's that.
"Oh god, it was you." Lizzy murmur starting to connect all the dots but I give her a confused glance, "You made out with Thomas" she affirms.
"Girls, please stay in silence" The professor advised us and we both mouth "sorry".
Feeling like I'm the center of attention, I let my hair fall to the side of my face, avoiding the looks of my colleagues and Thomas who seems to be pretty amused by the situation. And so I stay until class ends and I feel like my hand resents stretching it.
We head out to the cafeteria before the next class starts in half an hour. We pick some place to sit and Jane sends Lizzy to order our snacks.
"So..." Jane murmurs and I cover my face knowing what's coming my way, "Girl, I lost 5$ because of you, you'd better tell us the details"
"Have you bet on us? What the hell?" I scream.
"That's not the important thing, right now. Tell us." Lizzy demands taking a seat next to Jane who is drinking her ice coffee.
I tell them since I found out that a boy I wanted to see for a long time didn't come to the party at the end, passing by the fact that I told Thomas about the hugs and having fun until we made out. By the time I've finished telling the story, Lizzy is smiling like she's crazy and Jane doesn't seem to believe it.
"And that's it, really. Anything you'd like to say?" I let them say whatever they want but they can't find the words.
"So... Are you together thanks to us? You owe me one beer everytime we hang out for this", Lizzy demands cheerfully. Is she always thinking of that?
"She said that she was waiting for another boy, I don't think they're together" Jane assumes and I nod at her statement but not wanting to give more details about the situation at the same time.
"At least you will have talked about it this weekend, right?" Lizzy implies and my silence says it all. "Shit, you're in that situation"
"Even if we didn't talk about it, we're okay" I reassure them taking a sip of my Frappuccino.
"Have you talked today?" Lizzy asks and I shake my head, "Then, you don't know"
"Lizzy, don't bother her. If she says it's okay, it's okay for us as well. Not that he bothered to talk to her." I smile at Jane for support me in this situation and change the subject.
On the way to our desks, I turn my gaze to Thomas who is sitting in his place playing on his mobile. On the one hand, I want to get close and see what he's doing, but on the other, I'm afraid that Lizzy is right and this has ruined our friendship. Can I call him that after we have known each other for a month?
"I accompany you to talk to him if you want." Jane offers herself after looking at me for a few seconds. I shake my head slightly and make my way to him.
"Hello stranger" Thomas looks up from his phone and I sit down on the table next to him, so there is less height difference. "How was your weekend?"
He scoffs, "It was fun", He leans against the wall and looks to his left quickly, what is he doing? I was about to look just in that direction, when he speaks, "So, they know?"
"It does not play in your favor that they have seen you as if you had just fucked someone and considering that we disappeared at the same time, it was not very difficult to find out." Thomas looks away biting his lower lip and waves to the girls who were watching with no discretion. Why do they have to embarrass me like this?
"I consider myself guilty, your honor" He puts his hand on his heart and I roll my eyes trying not to laugh.
"Then we are fine? no awkward moments and that?" I feel obligated to ask him.
He frowns, "yeah, I mean, there were no feelings involved, just having fun"
Somehow his words don't affect the way I expected and my shoulders sag, have fun? Has that been it for him? Still feeling nothing serious about him, I can't help but be disappointed with his response, but what did I expect him to say? I laugh bitterly as I remember why I have never made out with any boy at parties. This feeling of feeling used is suffocating.
"Yeah, a temporary fix. Of course, I'm glad we're on the same page" I half lie.
The professor comes in and I go back at my seat wondering why the hell I had to do that.