Lisa sat facing the window, staring out to the now-moving scenery of streets and buildings which are looking smaller and smaller by the second. A little far ahead, she could see the harbour and the ocean. Then there it is...the colourful market. Just like he said.
Her heart feels heavy and she clutched on her bag - as if it would somehow heal the wound that feels all too fresh. She leans back to the headrest and peeks at her side to the empty seat. It was all a cruel joke wasn't it? It was a test, and she had failed.
A tear fell across her cheek. She never experienced this kind of pain before, it's like there's something inside that blocks her airways and her heart kept pounding hard to survive. Funny how she's crying over a guy she just met for a day instead of the guy she's been with for 3 years. Yeah...so damn funny!
...
She placed the key and bag on the desk lazily and lets her body fall onto the bed. That felt like the longest ride ever! Her eyes are now too tired from all the crying. She can't bring herself to the bathroom to clean herself up as one look in the mirror would left her crying again.
Why is she feeling this way? She knew what she was getting herself into last night, didn't she? She knew that Jeongguk wouldn't want anything more than just one night, she even said it out loud! It was clear for her - but then why would he say all those things?
He didn't have to look at her with such longing and awe. He didn't have to say how scared he was or how he really liked her. He said he doesn't lie. He said he doesn't promise things and she never asked him to promise anything...then why was he staring at her with eyes filled with contentment and promises?
Oh Lisa...you're so naïve! Why would you even trust the guy - or any guy for that matter? If the all-perfect Jaehyun could do what he did, what makes you think Jeon Jeongguk would be any different? And you barely even know him! How could you think there was anything more?
She still finds it hard to believe how much of a jerk he was...leaving the cash - did he think of her that low?! What's wrong with these people - or is it her? Does she have a 'prostitute' label on her forehead or something?? Is it because she's not from here - automatically they thought she's here to get some rich guy in order to live lavishly?
Money - pshh! 'Golddigger' - hah! He's smart to wake up earlier and left it like that - if he were to hand it over personally, Lisa would've kicked his balls so hard that he won't be able to sit for the next few months without thinking of his stupidity.
God, he's so stupid -
"Hey..." Chaeyoung opened her door slowly. Lisa could tell she was being cautious. "You're back...how are you feeling?"
Like shit. But there's no need for the girl to know that. There's no need for Chaeyoung to know about Jeon-fucking-Jeongguk!
"I'm okay...just tired,"
"Omo, have you been crying?" She sat next to her on the bed and examined the state of her face. "Lili, I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have sent it to you - I feel so bad!"
"What? No, you should have! Otherwise I'd look even more like a fool at that house,"
"Wait, so you went anyways? I thought you spent the night at Daejeon - Lili!" She whined, sounding like she's about to cry. "Why would you do that?"
Because of Jeon-fucking-Jeongguk, that's why! "It just had to be done," She lied. "Let's just say I needed to burn the bridges...say my peace,"
Chaeyoung's eyes lit up. "Did you? What did you say?"
"Not as much as I'd like...I only taught them how to spell properly," Chaeyoung frowned, not quite understanding. "I knew she did it on purpose...so I opened the package. I was right. It was a cheap ass monkey souvenir -"
Chaeyoung gasped. "What a petty -"
"It's not even made in Thailand! It's spelt wrong, so I corrected her,"
"Oh my God, now I wished I had gone with you just so I can laugh at her face!"
Yeah...things would've been different if Chaeyoung was there for the journey with her. She would've sat with her best friend rather than Jeon Jeongguk. Lisa wouldn't have met him, gotten to know him, fell into his charms...sleeping with him...
But damn it - the way he was when he was with her felt so amazing! She was honestly entertained by all the bickering and playful push-and-pulls. She felt comfortable...and happy with him. And last night when they were together on the bed...he gave her the most pleasurable experience she ever had...
Suddenly it didn't seem so bad. Yes, the way it ended was harsh and she'll remember it for the rest of her life - but she'll also remember yesterday...when the guy sitting next to her in the train tried so hard to chat her up by asking all those random questions. When the same guy got off the train just to pass her the package, then asked her to buy him hotdogs.
The guy who had doe eyes and looked just like a bunny whenever he's confused or upset. The most handsome guy she'd ever seen, being under those flashing lights at the bar. He might've lied about everything - and gave her the cash as what, a repayment? - but he will always be that guy who had brought her the sun when she thought it was going to rain again.
She realised it now...maybe he was there to take her mind off the intensity of her own issues. She knew why she didn't cry over Jaehyun. It was because of Jeon Jeongguk. He was a proof that her feelings for Jaehyun were never as strong or as solid as she thought.
Lisa went along with the whole thing because when she first met Jaehyun, he was everything everyone around her wanted. Everyone loved the guy - he was this handsome Korean who came to her faculty for an internship with one of their top professors. And out of all, he had eyes for Lisa - always trying to ask her out for lunch or dinner.
Naturally - and with the encouragement of her friends - she just went along with it. Just like she went along when Jaehyun told her how he got her a job in Korea and if she works here, they'd be closer to each other. Just like she went along whenever he asked her to spend time with his friends and family - even after she knew they weren't in favour of her.
It was never her who initiated things between them. Her father once asked her if she thought Jaehyun was the love of her life. She remembered shrugging as an answer. What is love anyway? For her, love was what she felt when she gets to help someone overcome their struggles. Love was when she gave a bigger portion of her food to others who are hungry. Love was seeing kids who are less fortunate than she is getting the same education and privilege as her.
She didn't need a guy to show her what love is, she's already surrounded by love since she was little! But then...that feeling she had when Jeon Jeongguk stared down and deep into her eyes...what was that?
...
'Have you given it some thought?'
Lisa stares at her mother's text message. What do I do with it...the house was abandoned for too long now. But it will be a waste to just sell it.
'Hi mom, sorry I just got back and charged my phone. I was thinking, can we turn it into a dance studio? There are 2 schools nearby and the orphanage is just around that corner right?'
She hits Send and opens her laptop to search for the location. The idea was just on top of her head, but now that she said it, the prospect of having it excites her! She always loved dancing, even until now. It gave her the freedom to express herself, that's why she took a part-time choreographer job on the weekends! And with this, her dream of always wanting to have her own dance studio will come true...even if she won't be the one to teach those kids -
Her phone rang and she picks it up immediately.
'Your mom's cooking. She told me to talk to you' Her dad's voice appeared.
'Hi daddy'
'You didn't call yesterday. I waited'
Yeap...and I feel really bad about it! She calls her parents everyday. Of course, she didn't expect to spend the night in Busan so she didn't think about bringing a charger with her.
'I'm sorry, my battery died. And my charger's broken. I just bought a new one' White lie. She had to! 'Anyways, about the house - I know what I wanna do with it'
'A dance studio, yeah, your mom told me. But Lali...it's going to be hard to maintain. Who will look after it? What's the turnover like -'
'Dad, I want it to be accessible for kids. I don't want it to be another business - it...it could be a way to get kids off the streets or other harmful influence -'
'So you're not generating anything from it?'
'Daddy, you know I don't look at those things'
'Maybe you should. You've been away for too long, I'm worried that you might forget -'
'I know...I know how to, and I've been showing it to you - even from afar right?' There's a sigh from her father. It's not that she didn't feel bad about it because she does, it's just that things have been more than manageable even when she's not at her homeland.
'You keep giving - and we love you for that, we do - but we can't invest the existing -'
'There's no need for the company to get involved. It'll be mine...and I'll use my money for it'
'Lali...'
'I wanna...daddy, I need to do this. It'll make me feel closer to home'
'You can always move back here if you want to feel closer to home'
Lisa chuckled at her father's deep, sulky voice.
'I know...but I like it here. And I like my job here'
'And your boyfriend's there - yeah yeah'
'Actually...' Is it too soon to be telling them? 'I plan to come back and visit next week. Maybe I can plan it better there'
'You are?'
She heard her father's muffling sounds, shouting to presumably her mother about her coming back home. Lisa's heart feels warmer now and her spirits slightly lifts back up. Everything will be alright in time...she'll feel better...she has to!
...