177 Days Until
It had been two days since the cabin trip. Two days of being at work.
Niall and Penny Becker had figured out a plan in the past two days about her ten-year-old sons birthday at the museum. It would be that Saturday at noon, and once it was over and little Drew was happy with his birthday, she would pull back from the venue on Libby and Wes' wedding date. All Niall had to do was talk to Emma.
He hadn't talked to Emma since she was dropped off at her place once they gotten back to Boston. He'd seen her around, leaving the break room from the other side as he was entering, across the room when she was on a tour. She seemed to be friendly enough, smiling at him whenever their eyes met, but Niall felt guilty just the same.
Emma did deserve to know what was going on with him, and how he felt about a particular golden eyed Egyptian goddess. So he spent the two days trying to figure everything out, how he felt, what to do about the text message he had received the morning they had all left the cabin, and the mysterious understanding in Mack's eye when they were talking on the balcony about their break up over two years ago.
From beside him, Jacob let out a loud groan as he placed the last document in the folder. "If I knew this is the work I'd be doing, I would have gotten a different degree."
"This isn't what archaeology is all about," Niall assured him. "Just this particular job."
"Well this particular jobs sucks."
Niall handed him another stack. "And it's not finished."
Jacob let out another dramatic groan. "I can't wait to get out of here."
"At least you can go home after," Niall complained as he filed another sheet of paper that listed the archaeological material, the date it came into existence, and when and where it was found into a folder. "I've got wedding stuff I have to attend."
Jacob's eyes went wide. "You're getting married?"
"What? No," he laughed. "My mates are making me tag along with them. They say it's for a good reason, but I'm half convinced it's to punish me for something I've done in the past. Actually, I know that's the reason."
"Gross," Jacob agreed. "It's one thing to go to those things when it's your own wedding, but for someone else? No thanks. Not that I've ever gotten married to know that for sure, but I can imagine it's awful."
Niall lifted a shoulder in a half shrugged. "I've gotten used to it, but it's really starting to take its toll on me."
"Just tell them you can't do it," Jacob offered. "Say you're behind at work and can't make it. Then go home and sleep and never wake up."
"Tempting, but it won't work."
Jacob squinted at one of the sheets of paper, trying to read it. After a moment he rolled his eyes and threw it back down on the pile. "I quit. This sucks. Maybe they'll just lay me off in pity."
Niall looked over at him. "So you heard the rumor then?"
He nodded. "Yeah. Max texted me on Sunday morning telling me the layoffs. I take it he texted you, too?"
"A wonderful way to end a vacation," Niall confirmed. "I don't want to put it out there, but I'm afraid I'm going to be one of those people."
"Why do you say that?"
"I can't imagine they'd need more than one curatorial assistant, especially since they've been giving us crap jobs like this just to make sure we get our eight hours of work in a day. And you've been here longer then I have," Niall explained as he filed another paper. "They don't have enough things for us to do. I should start packing my bags now."
"It's a rumor, Niall," Jacob smoothed. "Don't get your knickers in a bunch just yet."
He knew he had a point, but it was more than just losing a job to Niall. If he was laid off, he'd have to find another job in his field quick or risk being kicked out of the country. His whole visa – his whole life there in Boston – was in the hands of this job.
After all the papers were filed correctly, Niall left work and headed toward the downtown area. He was to meet Wes, Libby, and Mack at this florist boutique, and he was running late.
When he stepped through the doors, the overpowering scent of flowers told him he was exactly where he was supposed to be. Niall also realized he wasn't the latest one in the group.
He spotted Wes and Libby in the back of the boutique, looking at a wall of all kinds of different flowers. Alice was there, too, of course. She had her head held high and was looking around as if the place personally offended her, which it probably had. Clearly she didn't approve of the boutique. Aside from those three, they were alone in the shop.
"Hey," Niall greeted his friends with a smile. "Did I miss anything?"
"No, we're still waiting for a worker to come out to help us," Libby explained, looking around the shop. Her ash brown hair was pulled back into a low bun, a knitted scarf around her neck, and her pink coat over her shoulder. "We called in advance asking if we could consult with someone, and they said it was fine. And yet..."
Just as she was saying that, a young guy came out and spotted them. He was very tall with an undercut hairstyle and a 5 o'clock shadow. He wore a light gray button down shirt under a sage green apron, dark jeans and shiny black shoes.
"Are you Libby?" He asked.
"Yes! Are you the one from the phone call?"
"Eric, yes," he smiled at them and clapped his hands together. "Shall we get started? Did you have anything in mind to start with? Color, flower, scent?"
"I was hoping for something pink," Alice butted in, sauntering up to Eric with her chin up. "Carnations or Begonias perhaps. But my daughter insists that she want's white and yellow. The sacrifices I have to take, I guess."
"So you're looking for some Peony's or Daffodil's?" Eric asked, giving Alice a kind smile, though it was clearly forced, before turning to Libby.
"I was thinking Camellia's," Libby spoke up. "Something white for the bridesmaids and maybe the center pieces. A deep yellow or preferably gold, for me."
"Ohhh," Eric expressed. "I like it. Very classy. The wedding is in the fall, I take it?"
"It is!"
Eric turned to Alice. "I personally think it's wise to go with a white or yellow for the fall season. A splash of red even. Pink is centered around more the spring and summer season."
"That would be good and dandy for your wedding then, but this is not for yours," Alice countered.
"Alas, it is neither yours."
Alice had her classic just-ate-something-sour look on her face. Wes was struggling not to laugh and holding a hand over his mouth to hide the shit-eating grin that was surly there. Niall had to turn around completely before he high-fived Eric.
Libby was ecstatic. For all the places they had gone for wedding prep, no one had talked back to Alice even if it was clear they really wanted to. Libby wanted too, that was for sure, but her mother was paying for most of the wedding. And despite having awful taste to match her personality, Libby want's that approval from her mum; she has from the beginning.
Niall walked around the shop as they discussed flowers and arrangements, what the centerpieces would look like and how it would be delivered. All the while, Niall found himself waiting, and waiting... and waiting. But Mack had yet to show up. He found that he wanted to see her. To talk to her. To just be near her.
Wes had left Libby and Eric to do their thing about five minutes into the discussion, and had found a place to sit in the corner. He was flipping through a magazine that, to no one's surprise, featured flowers and other gardening things.
Niall joined him. "Does your nose hurt, too, or is that just me?"
Wes laughed. "Definitely not just you. My mind is a little numb as well, but that might just be from Alice's presence."
Someone passed through the window outside and Niall looked up, expecting – no, hoping – to find Mack entering the shop, but it was just a lady walking a small poodle passing by.
"Is Mack working?" He didn't intended for it to come out as judgmental, but it did anyways.
Wes looked up at him through his dirty blonde curls, confused. "You don't know?"
"Know what?"
"Mack's in the hospital. She passed out at work on Sunday shortly after getting home from the trip," Wes explained, looking at his watch. "She should be going in for surgery any moment now."
"What!?" Niall shouted, drawing eyes from everyone in the shop. He ignored them, but leveled his voice anyways. "Surgery for what?"
"You really don't know. I thought Libby would have told you, or Mack. Apparently all those symptoms she's been having had a cause; go figure. She has an infection from her initial spinal surgery."
"But that was years ago." Niall couldn't believe what he was hearing. He just saw her! Sure, she had symptoms (fatigue, a mention of a scratchy throat and chills), but those seemed pretty common compared to what's actually going on with her.
"Nine, yeah," Wes clarified. "We were told it was a slow growing infection. Really slow. They ruled out staph, but that's the most the infectiologist knows right now. She went in to get an ultrasound and the doc said it was probably something they should take seriously. Mack's having surgery so the doctor can clean it out and hope that works."
"An ultrasound..." Niall said, confused.
Libby groaned and rolled her eyes very dramatically as she walked over to join them. "Ultrasounds are used more than just looking at little fetuses in bellies. They did it on her back and determined it wasn't something superficial."
Niall dared ask what he really didn't want the answer to. "If it doesn't work?"
Wes shrugged slowly. "Not sure."
"I need to see her."
"Not right now. I'm not sure how long the surgery is, I think I remember someone saying four hours? But regardless, you wouldn't even be able to see her right now. Come with Libby and me after this, then you can."
Niall didn't like it, but what choice did he have? He spent the rest of the time thinking about all that could go wrong with the surgery. He remembered a distant memory, of a time when she showed him her scar for the first time.
Niall could tell Mack was uncomfortable.
The group was taking a little camping trip at Wollaston Beach for the weekend after Tallulah went through a big break up. It was their way of distracting her; she was in bits about the whole thing. Lulu wasn't too keen on camping, but she eventually agreed when Wes brought up the idea of the bug bites taking away her pain. That somehow convinced her, Niall wasn't going to try to wrap his head around the logic of that. Whatever worked.
As everyone wore their swimsuits and splashed each other in the Atlantic Ocean, Mack stayed back and lounged on a beach towel, wearing a tank top and shorts. Jade was with her, though she seemed pretty content in her book.
The setup they had was pretty nice considering it was an impromptu trip. Their tens were a little less than a mile away in the campsite where they all lined themselves in a semi-circle around a firepit. At the beach, they sat up a large umbrella that gave them enough shade if needed and a cooler filled with water and bottles filled with wine so the lifeguard on duty wouldn't be suspicious of alcohol. The sun was starting to set and the water turned from blue, to pink, to orange, to red as the time passed by.
Niall was in the water with the rest of his friend's, trying to enjoy it, but his mind kept traveling to Mack on the shore. He didn't really understand why she wouldn't join them, or wear a swimsuit. He didn't care at all, he was just curious to know why. She had yet to open up about it to him, though they've only been together for a few months or so. He wasn't going to pry.
Ian made his way over to the two girl's, dripping wet. Niall was too far away to hear what was said, but he didn't need to be to see what happened next.
Shaking himself like a dog, Ian got the two girl's wet. They protested and shooed him away. Though he didn't leave and continued to pester them. Ian had a knack of being unable to read the room and learn when to quit, even if he's being yelled at.
Niall decided to join them, and caught some of the conversation.
"-understand why Jade doesn't get in, but you?" Ian was saying.
"I don't like the water," Mack said easily as she rubbed at her arm in an attempt to get the water droplets off her.
"I don't believe that; I know you jump from cliffs and whatever. It's because you refuse to wear a swimsuit. Or you're a mermaid."
Jade wrinkled her nose at him. "She doesn't need to give you a reason."
Ian held his hands out in surrender. "Hey, I'm just asking. No need to bite my head off."
Mack rolled off her beach towel and stood. "I'm going back to the campsite," she mumbled and grabbed her bag. She looked at Niall over Ian's shoulder, but said nothing more before stepping away across the hot sand.
"You men don't know when to keep your mouth shut," Jade scolded.
"Don't group me in with him," Niall complained. "I didn't say anything."
"That's a problem, too."
Ian laughed. "Not my fault she's sensitive to that topic. I was just wondering. She's missing out on all the fun."
Niall ignored him and tugged on his shoes and made his way after Mack. He couldn't see her as he left the beach and got into the campsite, though he knew she wasn't that far ahead of him. It was a nice evening, a slight chill in the air to cool off from the heat of the day. The sun had nearly passed the horizon and he knew that the beach would be closing soon.
There was a lamp on inside his and Mack's tent when he approached. From the moving shadow inside, Niall could see that she was wrapping a blanket around herself.
Niall made sure to make noise as he unzipped the tent so he wouldn't scare her. The blanket was snug around her shoulders as she sat with her back to him. She was hunched over and looking at her phone, probably trying to get reception from deep in the woods. He took a seat beside her and brushed a strand of hair away from her face and waited for her to speak first.
But instead of doing that, she scooted over to him and slid into his lap. She draped the blanket around the two of them and they cuddled together – her arms around his waist and his head tiled into the crook of her neck.
The silence took over then, the only sound coming from the chattering crickets and the distant shouts from the beach. Niall knew the peace would end soon with the others joined them.
"Why haven't you asked about it?" Mack finally spoke up, her voice clear and quiet in the stillness of the tent.
Niall didn't have to ask for clarification. "I figured you'd tell me when you're ready."
Mack didn't respond. After another moment of comfortable silence, she removed herself form his arms and turned around in his lap, so her back was facing him. She took a deep breath and started removing her shirt. Niall didn't understand what she was doing, but he wasn't going to stop her if she was going to undress.
Once the shirt was off, he realized what she was doing. A perfectly straight scar lined the length of her spine; slightly pink in the dim lighting of the tent. Mack reached around her and, with a slight twitch of her fingers, unhooked her bra. It fell down her arms and into her lap.
Without thinking, Niall leaned down and placed a chaste kiss to her spine, right where the scar began just below the nape of her neck. He saw Mack shudder and her skin prickle with gooseflesh.
"I was diagnosed with scoliosis when I was in eighth grade," she started, her head dipped down and away from him. "It was... bad. Candidate for surgery bad. But I tried wearing this body brace for a while, in hopes that, at the very least, prevent it from getting worse. I absolutely hated it."
Niall didn't know a whole lot about scoliosis. He does remember getting checked for it when he would go in for his checkups when he was growing up, but that's about it. He does know about the brace she mentioned, however. It was made of thick plastic and wrapped around the torso, right under the arms and over the hips. The only reason he knew about it was because someone at his school back in Ireland wore one for a year. He could imagine how uncomfortable that would be.
"Long story short, I got the surgery. It's not perfect – far from it, actually, from what you can see." Niall could see. He noticed that her ribcage wasn't perfectly symmetrical and could tell that it was the cause of her still crooked spine. "But it's a lot better than it was, if you can imagine," she laughed.
Niall's fingers ghosted over the pink line. He made sure not to touch it, knowing from his own scare on his knee that the feeling of that is... odd, for lack of a better word. Being together for only a few months or not, he felt overwhelmed with closeness with her then.
"What is the surgery, exactly?" Niall found himself asking.
"The doctor screws in two titanium rods along my spine, forcing it straighter," she explained. "It's supposed to prevent pain in the future... but I'm not sure it's worth it because I've been getting a lot of back pain now because of it."
Niall places his lips against her skin, right where her neck meets her shoulder. "Thank you for showing me," he said softly. "I know it's hard for you to be this vulnerable."
Mack turned around completely in his lap, maneuvering so her legs could wrap around his hips. Niall tried his best to keep his eyes on hers instead of looking down to where he really, really wanted to look. He was acutely aware that she was topless in his lap. They haven't slept together yet, but he didn't want to ruin this for her by being a greedy dude.
She cupped her hand around his cheek. "I trust you," she said.
And then Mack was kissing him, pressing her half naked body up against his. He was taken back by the gesture that he could only sit there, stunned. Eventually, he came to and was kissing her back, his hands gentle on her waist as he pushed her closer to him.
Then Niall was placing Mack onto one of the sleeping bags, the kiss going from soft to heated in a matter of seconds. His hands roamed her sides, coming up to the middle of her ribcage and finally, to her bare chest.
Right then, the sound of their friends could be heard in the distance, getting closer and closer.
Niall groaned and slid off her, irritated at their incredible timing. "Just as well," he laughed as he laid on his back next to her. "Don't exactly want our first time to be like this."
"Like what?" Mack smirked as she sat up and grabbed her shirt. "On the dirty ground in the middle of a forest? I think it's perfect for the adventure seeker like myself."
"Maybe, but I'd like it so the looming anxiety of our friends coming back in the middle wasn't there," Niall commented with a grin. "Or maybe like in the comfort of our own home. Like, and I'm just throwing this out there... at my place when we get back."
Mack let out a loud laugh as she tugged her shirt on, to Niall's disappointment. "Eager," she teased. "I don't know... I'll have to look at my calendar and pencil you in somewhere."
In the glow of the lamp in the stillness of the tent, Mack looked like she was glowing. Her hair was a mess, cheeks flushed, and lips swollen, but she had never looked more beautiful than she had right then.
Without thinking about it, Niall reached out and grabbed her wrist, pulling her down to him. His hand found her face and he trailed his thumb along her cheekbone. They were so close; close enough that when she stuck her tongue out at him, it touched the tip of his nose. He scrunched his face up.
"Gross."
"You like it."
"I like you."
"I like you. A lot."
Just as he was pulling her toward him for a kiss, a shout was heard outside.
"Alright, love birds!" Wes yelled right outside their tent. "Put your clothes back on and get your asses out here. It's time to get drunk around the campfire!"
⚭
When Niall, Wes, and Libby got to the third floor and to Mack's hospital room, they didn't even need to enter to know that it was very clearly the most exciting room in the whole building. Laugher could be heard from way down the hall and as the three of them got closer, they could see a whole group of people lounging on the chairs or standing around the hospital bed. Through the window, Niall could see flowers and cards and, yeah, that was a giant teddy bear sitting in a chair in the corner.
It looked like all their friends were there, sans Carson. That wasn't shocking considering the two the two of them like to get at each other's throats.
"Seems that we're late to the party," Libby frowned as they entered. "I thought the surgery was going to be four hours long."
Niall was also surprised to not only find Mack out of the PACU and into her own hospital room but also awake and sitting up. She looked especially tired and warn out, however, which was to be expected, Niall thought.
"That's what we thought, too," Jade said, her green eyes bright. "When we got here a half hour ago, Mack's sister greeted us and brought us right into her room."
Niall looked over and locked eyes with none other than Cleo, the older sister of Mack. She offered him a small smile, but other than that, gave him no mind. Niall figured that made sense, given that he had broken up with her little sister... no matter how many years ago that was.
"We had guessed how long it would take," Cleo explained from the far wall. "We said four because they weren't putting hardware into her this time, so it obviously wouldn't be the six hours like it was last time. It was maybe only an hour. Twenty minutes in the care unit, and then right into her own room."
Libby walked over to Mack on the bed. Niall watched from the doorway as she reached down and pushed a few strands of hair away from her forehead. "How you feeling, Kenzie?"
Mack blinked up at her. "The drugs are working like a charm."
Wes laughed. "The best part of any surgery, in my opinion."
"What's this?" Gino asked, the toe of his shoe gently tapping on a plastic container on the floor next to Mack's bed. Niall looked at it and saw that there was a thin rubber tube running from the container to somewhere under Mack's covers.
"A surgical drain," Cleo explained.
"And, dare I asked... the dark stuff inside?"
Mack lifted the tube and looked at it blankly. "If I had to guess... my blood."
Gino visibly gagged at that and looked away. "Nope, sorry, Mack, but that's disgusting."
"You're very right on that," she agreed, giving the tube a disgusted look before putting it back down on the bed beside her. "I have to have it for the next few days, looking like I have a tail."
"So who got the giant bear?" Libby asked, nodding at the stuffed animal in the corner.
Tallulah raised her hand. "That would be me, of course. I don't do anything half assed when it comes to friends, y'all know that. His name is Ralph."
Libby smiled and walked over to the animal. "Ralph, that's adorable. You think Anubis will get jealous?"
"He'll for sure rip that thing into shreds," Ian confirmed. "That tiny dog packs a lot of mean inside him."
"Only to you," Jade disagreed. "He loves me."
"That's not exactly fair," Wes argued. "Everyone loves you."
"Speaking of," Tallulah said as she leaned against the window. "What happened with you and that Clint guy at the cabin? Got any rendezvous plans in the future?"
Jade shook her head sadly. "No, he's from Nevada and doesn't believe in dating long distance. At least, that's what he told me."
"If that was the case, he shouldn't have come to the Cabin."
"That's what I thought." Then she shrugged like it was no big deal, but everyone in that room knew it bothered her. "It's alright. It just wasn't meant to be."
Mack shifted in the bed, her eyes closed and jaw set. Niall had known Mack long enough that the movement caused a lot of pain. The others in the room seemed to notice as well, as the chatting had quieted and all eyes were on her.
"Quit looking at me like I'm going to snap in half," she said through her teeth once she had settled on her side.
Jade wheeled her chair up to Mack and placed her hand on Mack's arm. "We're just worried. We want you to get better and not be in pain."
Mack smiled at her friend, but it didn't touch her eyes. "Can't have one without the other."
"What's on your back?" Gracie asked, speaking up for the first time since Niall entered the room. She stepped toward the bed, curiosity in her eyes.
Niall looked too. The blanket was covering up most of it, but he did see some large clear bandages (it almost looked like packaging tape if Niall had to be honest with himself) against the skin of her back. Niall wouldn't have paid any attention to it, given that that was where the incision was at. But he also noticed that further down, just barely peeking out from the blanket, it had gotten darker, basically black.
Cleo stepped up beside Gracie. "Not sure what the technical term of it is, but it's basically an open incision." She looked over at Mack then, her hand on the blanket. "Can I show them?"
Mack nodded slowly. Her eyelids had dropped significantly and Niall knew she was ready to go to sleep.
Removing the blanket from her back, Niall first noticed that the thin tube from the container on the floor slipped under the covering, disappearing into what looked like... yeah, it looked like a black hole.
"Whoa," Gracie said lowly, looking at the hole in her back. She squatted down next to the bed to get a different angle. "Is she... cut open? Like the doctors left her open like that?"
Niall took a step forward to get a better look. That's exactly what it seemed; a thick thing of clear plastic or something probably a little more durable than that, lay typed to her back along the incision, but Niall could literally see the edge of the cut and the layer of her skin. The whole idea of it was hard to wrap his head around, but he was looking right at it so there was no denying what he was seeing.
"That's seriously so cool, Mack," Tallulah said, coming to stand next to Niall. She had her phone out and was taking a picture. She then walked around the bed so she was facing her. "You need to see it."
Mack was quick to reach a hand out to stop her. "No! I absolutely do not need to see myself wide open."
Ian laughed. "That's a sentence I'll never hear ever again."
"I'll look at the picture when I'm not in a hospital bed, alright?" Mack told Tallulah. "I really don't want to make myself sick knowing what's going on back there."
"That's fair," Tallulah agreed and put her phone away.
As everyone started up conversation again, Niall found his way into a corner, staying out of the way. No one invited him into conversations or included him into a game of cards they had started at a table, and he was okay with that. He only wanted to come see Mack, and now that he did and saw that she was as good as she could get being in the hospital, he was content. He would have left, but he had gotten a ride there. Besides, he was hoping to talk to Mack alone.
Ian, Gino, and Gracie sat in the corner playing Blackjack with Wes leaning over their shoulders and telling them what he would have done instead of what they did. In the other corner sat Jade and Libby, going over the flowers she had found at the shop earlier that day and taking out her phone, showing the photos. Tallulah was chatting with Cleo right outside the room. Though, "chatting" wasn't the right word. Despite having a steady girlfriend for the past two years, Tallulah was very much flirting with Cleo.
Niall stuck to himself, sitting on the chair next to Mack's bed. He couldn't seem to pull himself away for very long. The gentle rise and fall of her breathing soothed him. He desperately wanted to reach out and hold her hand, but he didn't. Instead, he settled on just watching her – the flutter of her lashes against her cheek as she tried to sleep, itching at the IV stuck to the back of her hand, the soft mechanical whirr sound of the foot massager (that Niall learned later helped prevent blood clots).
He tried imagining a younger Mack in this situation, years ago when she was only nineteen. She looked so fragile and venerable that it was hard to think of her back then doing the same thing she was now. Mack didn't deserve to go through this a second time. She didn't deserve to do it the first.
More than once, Niall caught Cleo's eye as she watched him watch her sister. She didn't say anything, and neither did he.
Eventually an hour passed, and around seven in the evening Cleo announced that they should leave so Mack can get some well needed sleep. Niall was pretty sure that she was already passed out and had been for the past twenty minutes, but he didn't argue. He was the last person to leave the room, but he barely stepped through the threshold before a soft voice said his name.
⚭
Mack had been waiting for her friends to leave for the past hour. She wanted to sleep, damnit! She also didn't want to shoo them away. It was nice of them to come see her, so she was willing to let them stay. Besides, going off past history of this the last time, she'd be getting plenty of sleep in the coming week.
She laid in bed watching them chat and play card games. They were extremely loud and she half expected a nurse to pop in and ask them to quiet down, but they never did come. The night stands and surrounding tables littered with flowers and candy and Mack had no appetite to eat. Mack couldn't help but notice Niall staying out of the action, and instead keeping to himself in the corner of the room, watching instead of participating. He eventually migrated to the seat beside her, and his presence was soothing.
She wished her parents were there. She knew they wished her well and would gladly come see her, but it was expensive for two people fly out on a whim like that. Only her sister was able to make it, which Mack was grateful for. She missed Cleo like crazy.
By seven, Cleo must have seen the look on Mack's face because she finally shooed her friends out of the room, telling them that Mack needed her beauty rest.
Mack was half asleep when she spoke his name, just as he was about to leave. She was afraid that he wouldn't hear her, but she should have known. He always heard her.
Cleo looked between them and gave a curt nod to Niall before stepping out of the room, closing the door behind her.
Niall walked toward Mack and stopped at the side of the bed where he was sitting for the past hour. To her surprise, as if her body had a mind of its own, she reached out and grabbed his hand. He seemed slightly taken aback by the gesture, but he didn't pull away. Instead, he laced his fingers with hers, careful to avoid the IV.
"You smell like flowers," Mack mumbled, her voice low and tired.
Niall laughed. "Yeah, had a productive day at the floral shop. You missed out. The florist put Alice in her place. Never thought I'd see the day."
"The one time I miss a wedding activity and it had to be this one..." she smiled sadly and looked up at Niall. "Thank you for coming to see me."
"It was kind of a surprise to learn that you were here."
She looked away then, but the hand in his stayed. "It's been kind of crazy, learning about all this and being rushed to get into surgery. I should have told you. I was going to, but..."
Mack didn't need to finish that sentence, Niall knew exactly what she meant. "Just because we have a rocky history doesn't mean I don't want to know about all this. Especially if it puts you in the hospital. I still care about you, Mack."
Her dark golden eyes found his then, the softest of smiles on her lips. The nickname. Mack knew it didn't mean anything – it shouldn't mean anything – but it meant a whole lot to her. She didn't know what it meant, but she at the very least hoped it could lead to something, even if it was just a friendship.
"How long will you be in here?" he asked. He flipped her hand over in hers and ran his thumb on her palm, tracing the lines as if he was reading her future. The simple gesture sent chills down her arms.
"A week, at least," she replied. "Doctor Coop told me that he was going to, eh, 'clean me out' at least three times and then stitch me back together and send me on my way. He'll explain more about the antibiotics once that comes along."
Niall took the seat beside her again. "How did this even happen? It's been nine years."
Mack shrugged, and then regretted it. A stinging pain shot down her back and she let out a low hiss. "No one knows," she spoke when it subsided. "The infectiologist told me that they have the infection cells in little petri dishes to keep an eye on it, but it's a slow growing bacteria so he might not figure it out by the time I leave. That's what the doctor meant by playing it by ear."
"How are they going to give you antibiotics if they don't know what they're fighting?"
"I guess they'd proscribe me one that has a wide kill range?" She offered. "I don't know, Niall."
"A gold mind of information, there," Niall grumbled sarcastically.
She really should have the right to know, and maybe the doctor explained everything to her and only comprehended half of what he said. That was most likely. When she was less tired she'd have to ask Cleo more about it; maybe she got more out of the discussion than she did.
Mack was struggling to keep her eyes open, but she really didn't want to say goodbye to him. She squeezed his hand. "Please stay."
It was a soft whisper, a breath of warm air from her mouth, barely there. But Niall heard her loud and clear. He smiled at her, almost sadly. "I'm not sure that's a good idea, Mack."
For whatever reason, the rejection hurt. Maybe because he was right. It probably wouldn't be a good idea, but Mack felt like she needed to defend herself.
She rolled her eyes skyward and looked at the ceiling. "I'm doped up on drugs, I have no idea what I'm saying."
Niall laughed at that. "You're on oxycodone. That doesn't make you loopy; it makes you tired."
"Can't you just pretend I didn't say anything so I don't look like an idiot?" She grinned.
He removed his hand from hers and stood up. "I'd never take away a moment where you're an idiot," he laughed. "Usually that's me, so I'll cherish every moment I can of this."
"Okay, get out," Mack said, pointing to the door. "You've overstayed your welcome."
Niall bowed slightly and flashed her a quick smile before leaving through the doorway. A moment later, her sister entered. There was a knowing look in her face and Mack quickly closed her eyes.
"So... is it just me, or is there something maybe sparking again between you and Horan?" Cleo hinted, a brow raised.
"Can't hear you, I'm sleeping," Mack said.
⚭
It was the middle of the night when Mack woke up next. Or at least, she assumed it was night time considering her room was dark and there wasn't any usual commotion out in the hallway from the nurses.
There was a string of blue lights along the ceiling, looping down a few feet, before being pulled up again. She couldn't remember those being there when she was first put in the room. Cleo must have done that. Last time she was in the hospital for this, six years ago, Mack had made an off comment that she hated being cooped up in the room and that she was getting depressed. The next time she woke up, lights were adorned in the room. Cleo didn't take credit for them then, but Mack knew it was her. She probably took the liberty to do it again. It was just a simple gesture, but it made a great deal of difference to Mack.
Mack reached up and brushed her hair away from her face, careful not to mess with the IV sticking out from the back of her hand. She tried not to think about it. Needles made her faint and having one in her for a whole week was doing no good to the stress of everything else.
She itched for her laptop. She itched to know how work was going since she had been away for a whole day. Was everything working out okay? Were the designers hitting deadlines? Had the building caught fire?
Grabbing the remote, she pushed a button and the hospital bed she was lying on hummed to life, moving her to a sitting position. Her laptop sat at a table across the room. She'd have to get up to grab it or press the red button to get an aid in there to do it for her. But God knows she'd never do that. Mack hated the idea of being waited on. She'd rather suffer then to ever push that button.
"Just so you know, you're not alone in here."
From the soft voice in the quiet, Mack jumped. Shooting pain shot up her back and she groaned, clenching her teeth.
"Sorry!" the voice continued in the dark. It sounded young and generally sincere. "Didn't mean to scare you. Just didn't want you to start singing or something thinking your alone in the room."
The pain faded to a numbing throb and Mack smiled at that. "Good to know."
The curtain dividing Mack and the stranger was pushed aside and a young girl appeared on the other side. She was pretty, with crazy red hair and bright eyes. Even in the darkness of the room Mack could see a scattering of freckles under the paper mask over her mouth and nose. The little marks wrapped around her whole face and slipped down her neck and under the blue hospital gown she wore. She couldn't have been more than fourteen.
She sat at the edge of her bed, legs swinging down over the side. "My name is Adelia, but you can call me Lia. What are you in for?"
"Scoliosis surgery," Mack explained, glancing over at her laptop longingly. "What about you?"
"Influenza," she said casually, like it wasn't a deadly infection and instead the common cold. "This is my fourth time getting it."
"Fourth?" Mack asked with a rise of her brows. "Isn't that kind of serious?"
Lia only shrugged. "I suppose, but I'm used to it. I have leukopenia so I attract all kinds of illnesses." When Mack didn't comment, she continued. "Leukopenia is when you have low white blood cells, so it makes it easier to get sick. So I'm in the hospital a lot. So much that my parents pulled me from school and starting hiring tutors for me."
Mack looked at her with wide eyes, her laptop long forgotten. She was so young, too young to be cooped up in a hospital like this. "I'm sorry," she found herself saying, though Mack was under the impression that Lia had long since wanted anyone's sympathy.
She shrugged again. "Eh, what can ya do? I just live one day at a time. Make the most of what I got. There's this cute aid, his name is Chris. He always brings me fast food whenever I get put into the hospital. He actually came in here to check on you when you were sleeping."
Lia's optimism was contagious, like the illnesses she attracts. She talked like Mack was an old friend catching up on the passed time.
"I like your pants," she pointed at Mack's sweats. "Little astronauts, right? I wish I could wear my own clothes in here." She pinched the fabric of her gown. "All I've got is this ugly thing. It's depressing not having anything of my own here."
Mack understood that too well. She hadn't spent a whole lot of time in the hospital , especially if she were to measure it next to Lia's, but she could imagine how upsetting it would be to move from room to room and not have anything that was just hers.
Lia sighed and rolled her head back and stared up at the ceiling. "It's just a reminder of where I am – like I'm just a hospital patient, or I'm only my illness. It doesn't seem like I have an identity anymore when I wear these. Like I'm someone else. Patient number three-thousand-and-twenty-four, or whatever. I just want to express myself. That's why I put up posters or string up lights like you have. Just something to make me feel like me."
She looked at the ceiling above her like there was a whole other world up there, some place where she wasn't sick all the time and not stripped of who she was as a person. No one should ever feel like that, especially when you're a teenager with a future in the hands of the unknown. Nothing was certain with these kids, and they just wanted to feel like themselves. Mack could identify with that, being someone as free spirited as herself.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to go on a rant. It's just... I've been here for a long time and I'm tired."
That was when Mack got an idea.
"What kinds of things are you into?" Mack asked, a new light burning inside her. "Like, any hobbies or favorite bands? What kinds of things would you put up in your room?"
Lia pointed to Mack's pants again. "Space. I'm really into space things. Galaxies and planets. I once had a poster of the solar system hung up in my hospital room, but I had forgotten to take it with me when I left and now its lost forever."
Space. Mack mentally noted that as she formed a plan.
Lia hopped down from the bed. "I've gotta go pee," she declared before she crossed the room and stepped inside and closed the door to the adjoined restroom.
A moment later, an aid strolled in, a small plastic cup in one hand and a thing of pudding in another. "Ah, you're awake," he said when he saw Mack sitting up. He gave her a bright smile and she knew instantly who it was before he even told her his name. "I'm Chris, one of the night aids. How are you feeling?"
"Sore," she answered smoothly.
He laughed. "I bet. I brought some pain meds if you want to take one."
"Yes. I'll never say no to that."
"As I figured."
Chris handed over the pudding and the plastic cup that held a little pill inside before he moved over to the monitor next to the bed. He checked Mack's vitals as she took her pill and ate the pudding.
He talked to her as he checked her over, small talk to say the least (what she did for a living, if she had any pets, where she was from). When he was finished and about to leave, Mack stopped him.
"This is a weird questions, but who would I talk to about an idea that I have," she started, trying to find the words to phrase her question. "For personalizing hospital gowns?"
"That I do not know, but I can find out and get back to you."
"I'd appreciate it."
He flashed her one last smile before heading out of the room.
Lia was right. Chris was cute.
⚭
When I said this fic is loosely based on my own experiences, this is what I meant. And I know I'm not alone when it comes to scoliosis, so this is a shout out to all my crooked pals!
-Jess