"Put on something funky!", Harry yells from my room, as I yell a quick okay back.
I had just picked him up from the airport, and the entire way here he just kept complaining about his suitcases, over and over, groaning about the amount of stuff Ally had him bring over for her.
We just got home, where Normani and Billie were waiting for us with little Grace; I'm on babysit duty once again. But I'm gonna tell you, it doesn't upset me that much anymore, I'm starting to take a certain liking to baby Gracie.
Normani said her hellos, reuniting with Harry; she won't stop asking him about when Ally is coming back, she questions him about it over and over, as if it would change his answer from 'I don't know' to an actual answer.
Billie finally met Harry, after a year of just hearing a lot about him. She moved in with Normani and I a couple months after Harry and Ally moved to Hamburg.
Right now, Harry was stuffing his baggage into my room as I put on some music.
"Something funky, huh?", I comment, pressing play on my phone.
Old jazz starts playing through the speakers and I start moving around to the rhythm, on my own, in the kitchen; I believe this is from Ella Fitzgerald's last disc.
I hear a loud laugh, coming from Normani in the living room, before Harry walks into the kitchen and eyes me, blankly.
"Are you aware of how old you are?", he asks me, while I twirl around the room.
"Yes, I believe. Yes."
"Oh, so you know you're not 73", he mocks me.
I frown at him, "What's with the aggressive sarcasm?"
He shakes his head, before taking my phone from my hands and putting some happy music on.
The both of us move to the living room, where the glittery scenario is set up, and Billie and Normani dress Gracie and Cora. We're making a thematic photoshoot.
Billie is struggling to put on little Grace's retro dress on while Normani ties Cora's colorful bow tie. Harry sits down on the floor, starting to set up the lights all around, as I let myself fall on the couch, before turning to Normani.
"Oh, can I", I start, pleadingly, "Can I fold the pocket square?"
"Yeah", Mani mumbles before handing me the handkerchief.
As I start focusing on it, my phone starts ringing. I shuffle a bit, before answering it and placing it in between my shoulder and my ear; it was an unknown number.
"Hello?"
"Ah, hey, Y/N, it's Camila", I hear through the phone.
"Oh, Camila", I quickly get up, focusing on the call, "Hi."
Normani looks at me, surprised, before trying to say into the phone, "Oh, hey, Camila!", as I walk away from them, leaning against the entrance's door frame.
Camila and I used to date, she was my first girlfriend.
Right after Harry broke up with me, because I was gay apparently, I met Camila. It happened on the day before mom's last attempted suicide, as I was visiting Normani at her work place; they used to work at the same office.
I didn't have much dating experience, since I had been with Harry since he transferred from England to our middle school. But somehow, I ended up awkwardly asking Camila over for dinner that day.
I don't know how it happened, but Camila and I ended up hooking up that same night. I guess the gay idea was still floating through my brain since Harry had broken up with me on that morning. Also Camila was too pretty and charismatic, that kinda forced me to come to terms with it.
We ended up dating for a while, she would comfort me and help me through the whole situation with my mom and my parents' divorce, which was very recent at that time.
A short period after that I broke up with her, even though we got back together soon after that, and then she broke up with me.
The last time I saw her I believe was on the day of my aunt Peg's funeral, which happened to occur on my 20th birthday; Camila gave me a cuckoo clock.
"Uh, it's been ages", Camila said over the phone.
"Yeah, hi", I exclaim, uncertain, "How are you doing?", I stammer.
"Yeah, I'm good, yeah, good", I quietly listen to her charming cuban accent, feeling very nervous, all of a sudden.
"Good", I mumble, "Yeah."
"Hey, do you wanna get dinner?"
"Uh, dinner, yes, sure", I quickly respond, scratching the back of my neck, "When were you thinking?"
"When are you free?", I can hear her smile over the phone.
"Me? I mean, I'm free", I ramble, "You know, just generally free, like, across the board."
"Uh, tonight? What about tonight?"
"Tonight, yeah, that's", I mumble, looking back over at Billie, Normani and Harry, who remain focused on their tasks, "that's soon, um, what do you wanna eat?"
"I don't mind", I hear Camila shrug over the phone, before getting my attention back to Normani, turning over to her.
"No, Mani, what is that?", I usher towards her, momentarily distracting myself from the phone call.
Normani and Billie are putting on Grace's princess tiara on Cora, before Billie turns to face me, explaining, "It's a special occasion, she needs a formal headpiece."
"No, the tiara is for Grace", I complain.
Normani teases, "But she looks so glamorous."
"No, Mani, that doesn't make any sense, Cora's in a tux", I complain once again.
"Y/N, is this a bad time?", I hear Camila through my cell phone.
"No, no, sorry", I sigh, "My friends are trying to dress Cora like a disco girl."
I turn away, heading back out of the living room, leaning against the door frame again, before focusing back on Camila, "Sorry, what was that, you don't mind? Of course you mind, okay? You're picky about food, you're the girl that minds."
"No, no, no, I eat all kinda of strange things now, like... I really like eggplant."
"Well, of course you do, it's delicious", I say back, shrugging, "Eggplant is delicious, you should've listened to me when I told you it was delicious."
I hear her lightly chuckle, before responding, "Okay, well, just text me where. See you tonight?"
"Okay", I reply as we hang up.
I pause for a moment before turning back to Grace and Cora's show. All I can see in my brain is my memory of Camila's face, and suddenly I start remembering the place my mind was in back at the time we used to date.
I never really got to the point of being in love with her, I believe. I had just been broken up with, and come to the conclusion I was gay, I kinda dated her because she was just so pretty and seemed to be strangely into me.
I never quite seem to trust someone so pretty who is into me, it's like, what are you hiding, you know?
But even though the thing I had for her was purely physical, her face didn't seem to leave my thoughts, as I grew nervous about tonight.
I shake my thoughts away before heading back to the photoshoot session. We finish off the details of the prom night shoot, before taking the pictures. Little Gracie seemed confused and lost, while Cora seemed actually quite okay with it.
Finishing off those pictures, we start changing scenarios. We dress them like dinosaurs, taking them into the backyard and taking more numerous pictures.
The afternoon goes by pretty fast; we take multiple themed photos of baby Grace and Cora, setting them up on the grass trimmer, taking farmer photos, as Grace complained about the sunglasses, before dressing them up as pumpkins while setting them among some yellow autumny flowers in the garden, and lastly dressing them up as inmates, taking cute and funny mug shots.
Later on, I'm carrying Gracie in my arms by my dad's front door, when Mae comes out and shrieks, as soon as she glances at her baby.
"What is that?", she exclaims, as I wheeze at her surprise.
"It's prison tattoos", I reply as I hand little Grace over to Mae, who eyes her daughter worriedly.
"Oh, be careful, oh, she might shiv ya!", I play, chuckling, while Mae frowns at the tear I drew below Gracie's left eye, "Yeah, she might shiv ya!"
"What's going on?", I hear my dad's voice, as I see him approaching us from inside the house, frowning at us.
Mae sighs before turning back to face dad, annoyed, "Y/N graffitied our daughter!", she exclaims, her thai accent sounding thick.
I start laughing and Grace starts crying, as Mae closely exams the prison tats, and dad complains at me, "Aw, jesus christ, Y/N, why would you think this is a good idea?"
I wheeze before answering, "Don't blame me, man, you're her dad, you should have brought her up right, then she wouldn't have gotten into this mess."
Dad sighs at me, shaking his head, as Mae worriedly turns her face back at me, "Will it come off?"
"Yeah, it's just eyebrow pencil", I laugh.
"If she has a rash, I will kill you, Y/N", Mae growls at me, "Seriously, I will kill you, Y/N, to death! Jeez."
Mae keeps angrily mumbling to herself as I giggle, and she walks away into the house. Dad sighs before turning his head to look at me.
"What? It's just eyebrow pencil, alright? We had fun!", I exclaim, "It's important, it's important sometimes to have, like, a good time! Do you remember that?"
Dad eyes me blankly, "Why do you have an eyebrow pencil? You don't wear make up"
I wheeze once again, "To draw prison tattoos."
"Alan? Can you get the bath ready?", Mae's voice echoes through the house, before dad shakes his head at me again.
He sighs deeply before looking back at me, "I really don't need this today, Y/N."
"I'll come in and clean her up", I say as I start to get her baby stroller into the house, and dad groans.
"Oh, no, no, no, just leave, so we can get it done."
"I can get it done", I reply, struggling with the stroller.
Dad groans once again, as Mae shows back up at the door, before growling at me, "My daughter is not an american convict!"
I can't help but wheeze again, before clapping to myself, "I mean, this has been fun, don't you think?"
Dad eyes me one more time before taking the stroller in and getting the door.
"This has been good, right?", I laugh as dad closes the door on my face.
I quickly head back home to use the bathroom and pick up Harry, before driving to the psychiatric hospital; Harry misses my mom.
Since back at elementary school, all of my friends always got along with my parents, not only Harry, but both Ally and Normani as well. But Harry always got really along with my mom, and I never quite figured out why. In the beginning, when we were kids, Harry was simply my mom's favorite, but when we turned into teenagers, he and mom just quickly developed this weird friendship that always intrigued me, they just get along so well.
I don't need to even mention how upset mom got when Harry and I broke up. She was in the hospital right after her last attempt when I told her about it, and that was the pressing matter to her at the time; it wasn't her bipolar disorder, it was my break up.
I still remember Harry showing up at the hospital on that same day. We had an awkward post breakup encounter before he ran to mom's hospital room and hung out with her, only leaving around 11pm.
Harry and I get out of the car and walk across the parking lot, heading to the hospital's reception. We sign in and get our 'visitor' stickers, walking into the lounge area.
"Y/NN, wait, I need to tie my shoes", Harry calls after me from behind.
"Just come on", I whine, not stopping.
"Wait for me!", he exclaims.
"Quit being a loser."
As he catches up to me, and we get past the glass doors, I look up and see Lauren from a distance, wearing baggy pants and a large sweater, her hair a bit messy. She's standing by the vending machine, inserting a coin and fidgeting with the buttons.
As I hesitantly approach her, I hear the buzzing sound from the vending machine, before I speak up, "Wow, Lauren, hi."
She quickly turns her head to me, looking surprised and slightly embarrassed, as my glance gets drawn into her wide green eyes.
"Um, hi, Y/N", she awkwardly says, "Fuck, this is the hospital where you're mom's at, right? Shit, I didn't realize.
She quickly looks down at her feet, while Harry comes up from behind me.
"No, erm, it's alright, this is my friend Harry", I point at him, who smiles at Lauren, waving.
"Hi, I'm Harry", he says, in his raspy low voice.
"Erm, hi, I'm Lauren, nice to meet ya", she slowly looks back up, her accent kinda showing up in that sentence.
I lightly frown at her, "You're hispanic? I didn't realize."
"Fuck, um, yeah, my accent", she stammers, "I'm cuban."
Harry tries to hold his giggle, before teasingly whispering to me, "You have a type."
I quickly shush him, slapping his arm, before turning back to Lauren, "Cool, it's alright", I awkwardly chuckle, assuring her, "It sounds cute, charming."
She quickly shoots me a small smile, before turning back to look at the floor, mumbling a 'thanks'.
"So, uhm, you know", I awkwardly lean onto the vending machine, trying to sound casual about the situation, "What are you getting?", I point at the machine.
"You don't have to pretend like you didn't just run into me in a psychiatric hospital", she slowly looks back up at me, lightly chuckling.
"Yeah, no, erm", I awkwardly stammer, "I just thought maybe we'd start at, like, candy bars and work our way up to... you know, why you're here..."
She starts fidgeting with the bag of coins in her hands, "My parents were just worried about me, and it's easier to just come here than to convince them I'm okay."
"Yeah, um, are you okay?", I question her, while Harry gestures to me that he's going ahead to meet my mom, so I'll meet him there.
I nod at Harry as he walks off, before Lauren mumbles, "Not really."
She presses a button on the vending machine, as I mumble, "No? Yikes..."
I look down as her snack falls down and I glance at it, while she bends down to grab it.
"Did you just buy raisins?", I chuckle.
"Yeah", she quickly replies, eyeing me.
"Who are you?", I mock her before grabbing her hand and pulling her with me, "Come on."
She follows me, closely behind, as I head to the open patio, glancing around as I find Harry, mom, Ginger and Hannah sitting by a picnic table.
"Guys, er, this is Lauren", I speak up getting there attention, pointing back at Lauren, "Lauren, this is Hannah, my mom Rose, and Ginger, and that's Harry from before."
Mom and Harry smile up at Lauren, as Ginger asks her, "And what are you in for?"
I sit down beside mom as Lauren quietly answers, "Uhm, just anxiety stuff."
"Anxiety stuff, what's that? What happened?", Ginger presses on as Lauren lightly chuckles.
"Oh, um, just, breakdowns and stuff", she awkwardly replies, "I stopped smiling and showering like a teenage girl."
I giggle as I comment, "Yeah, I was never that kind of teenager."
"Me neither", Lauren chuckles, fidgeting with her raisins.
"Hannah", Ginger calls out, "What about you? You never told me."
Hannah frowns before answering, "I had a breakdown."
"I know that, is there anything interesting about this breakdown?", Ginger insists, "I mean, what happened?"
"It was quite public", Hannah calmly raises her eyebrows, "In a supermarket."
"Self-service check out?", Lauren jokingly asks, making Hannah lightly chuckle.
"What happened at the supermarket?", Ginger enthusiastically requires.
"Did you steal something?", Harry asks, "Are you a kleptomaniac?"
"No, I just couldn't work out what kind of tuna to buy."
"Tuna?", Ginger groans.
"Are you in here because of tuna?", mom mumbles.
"There's just so many different types", Hannah says, as Lauren walks around the table, sitting down besides Ginger.
"No, there isn't!", Ginger complains.
Hannah starts counting on her fingers, "Brine, oil, spring water, chunky tuna, sandwich tuna, mayonnaise, dolphin-killing tuna, salsa-"
"Salmon", Ginger cuts her in, "Why don't you just take salmon? You're a maniac."
"I just lost it, I started crying", Hannah comments.
"I was expecting more drama", Ginger groans as I chuckle, "You're not a maniac, you're a dickhead."
After hanging out with them for a while, I say a quick goodbye before heading back to the house. When I get there, Billie, Mani and Jenny are all hanging out in the living room.
"Hey, you", Mani yells, as I walk straight to my room.
"I gotta get ready, I gotta get ready for dinner with Camila!", I anxiously yell back.
"Where's Harry?", Billie asks.
"He'll be back later, he's with mom", I reply as I shut my door, listening to Normani laugh from the living room.
About half an hour later, I come out of my room into the living room, as I wave around trying to get everyone's attention.
"What do you guys think about this shirt and this skirt together?", I ask, uncertain.
"Pretty gay", Normani replies.
"Yeah, sure, but is that, like, a problem?"
"I think it's pretty good", Jenny assures me from the couch.
"Yeah, it looks fun", Billie comments.
"Yeah, it's fun, right? That's what I want", I ramble, "I wanna look fun, I wanna look like a fun, nice girl."
"Are you gonna trim your pubes?", Normani speaks up, teasingly, as I cringe at her.
"No, Mani, you know I don't do that, okay? It's not for me", I complain.
"You gotta trim your pubes, man", Billie says.
"No, actually, I don't", I shake my head, trying not to think about it, "I don't have any body hair, my pubic hair is very important to me."
Billie sighs as she looks over at me, "Have you ever tried it?"
"Yeah, once, and I promise you, it's not good!", I exclaim, "I looked like a giant toddler."
Normani frowns at me, teasingly, "I just really think you need to do something with your pubes"
"Yeah, just make them neat", Jenny adds, nodding.
"Then you can show her how good you are at sex", Billie looks up at me.
Normani lowly chuckles before saying, "There is no chance she is good at sex."
"Hey! Alright", I complain.
"Yo, I'm just trying to be supportive, dude", Billie shrugs as Jenny comments.
"I'm sure she's lovely at it."
I look at each one of them in the eyes, before heading to the bathroom annoyed.
I'm 10 minutes into trying to deal with the pubes situation, as my cell phone starts ringing.
"Oh, hi", I answer it.
"Y/N, I need you to tell us everything you did to Grace", I hear my dad groan through the phone, right before hearing a car door shut close.
"We are not angry, Y/N! Grace is sick", I hear Mae's voice in the back.
"Oh, no, okay, well", I mumble, "What's wrong with her?"
"Her poo is purple!", Mae's accent sounds really thick as she yells.
"Did you do anything else weird with her?", dad sound annoyed as I sigh.
"We won't be angry!", Mae exclaims.
I look through my mind, trying to remember this morning, before setting the clippers down on the sink and sighing once again.
"Yeah, you said, I just, I really don't think I did anything that would make her poo purple", I sigh.
"Oh, no, no, no", I hear Mae whine in the back.
"I think it's okay for it to be purple, I think babies' poo come in different colors sometimes", I ponder as I lean onto the wall.
"Your poo was never purple!", dad growls through the phone as I wheeze.
"Yeah, I think the only color you need to worry about is white", I comment.
"How do you know so much about poo?", dad questions.
"I saw it in an episode of Weeds", I mumble.
"I'm not taking advice from a tv show about pot!", dad laughs anxiously, "Come on, Y/N, I need you to keep thinking about this!"
I sigh, closing my eyes, "Okay, yeah, do you need me to do anything? To help or anything?"
"No, no, no, you've done quite enough!", dad growls.
I laugh as I complain, "I did not do anything to make her poo purple!"
And as I look back at my phone, dad already hung up. I grab the clippers back, turning it on and setting my phone back down.
About 10 minutes after, I walk out of the bathroom heading straight towards the living room and standing still, awkwardly.
Billie slowly looks up to face me.
"Well? How did it go?"
Normani starts teasingly smiling at me as I start shaking my head rapidly, "No, it was bad, it was really, really bad."
They all laugh at me while I anxiously look around at them, "I didn't know what I was doing, I was lost down there", I complain, frowning, "They're all spiky, I feel gross. That's not what you want from genitals, you want them to be, like, soft and safe and welcoming, and mine are sharp."
Billie giggles at me before pausing and frowning, "Wait, man, did you... you didn't use my clippers, right?"
"No", I assure her.
Normani's eyes leave her phone screen, in realisation, "You don't have clippers."
"No", I laugh.
"Y/N!", Mani whines at me.
"Yes, Normani?", I smile down at her.
"Did you trim your pubic hair with my hair trimmer?"
"Yeah", I nod as I sit down on the couch by Billie, who starts laughing.
Normani whines as Jenny's cell phone buzzes and she frowns at the dark skinned girl, "I don't understand."
"What is it?", Mani turns to Jenny.
"Why did you send me a picture of your boobs?"
Normani's eyebrows quickly shoot up, as I start smiling, holding my laughter at them, "Oh, no", Mani mumbles.
"And a message inviting me over so that you can, according to this, 'fuck my face off'?", Billie and I wheeze as Jenny finishes reading the text, this is gonna be good.
"Whoa!", Billie exclaims.
"Cause I'm already here, so", Jenny frowns.
"Yeah, man, why don't you just fuck her face off right now?", Billie asks, mockingly frowning at Normani, "Why are you making her come back later?"
"Is that a thing people like?", I jokingly question, "Having their face fucked off?"
"Can someone just tell me who this was meant for?", Jenny inquires, "Do you have a girlfriend?"
"No, no, no, I don't have a girlfriend, I definitely don't have a girlfriend", Mani assures.
"I'm so confused", I tease, frowning.
"So who was this meant for?", Jenny insists.
"Oh, it was meant for someone else!", I exclaim, "I get it."
Normani sighs before hesitantly replying, "Okay, it was meant for somebody else."
"Arin, it was meant for Arin!", I exclaim.
Normani glares at me as Billie holds her laughter.
"Okay, obviously this is bad", Normani cautiously starts, "But, please, don't think this is a big deal."
"A big deal? Okay, this is a lot, isn't it?", Jenny complains, "You send me this horrible photo, and I'm just sitting here."
Billie reaches over to grab Jenny's phone, as her and I eye the photo, laughing along.
"It really is a horrible photo, dude", Billie shakes her head.
"Yeah, I feel like it's threatening me", I comment.
"It is a lot, right?", Jenny turns to us.
"Yeah, Mani, you're in a dark place", I mumble glancing back at the picture, "You're in a dark, dark place."
Jenny turns her face back to face Normani, "When did you even take the picture?"
"A few weeks ago", Mani mumbles.
"What? So you just have it on file?", Jenny questions, "In case of emergency?"
"She's very proud", I comment.
"Yeah, big boobs, man", Billie adds in.
"I didn't wanna send it, I wasn't into it, it's just", Normani sighs, uncomfortably closing her eyes, "He sent me a dick pic, and I thought it would be rude to not reply."
"Yeah, Jenny, she was just being polite", I speak up as Billie and Jenny wheeze.
Jenny keeps on laughing before turning back to Normani, "I mean, I don't mind if you wanna have sex with other people, we just started seeing each other", she laughs out, "But, like, right next to me! Like, you didn't even bother to go to the bathroom."
Normani looks nervous and lost, as she mumbles, "Y/N was shaving her pubes."
"And you didn't even send it right", Jenny continues, still laughing, "It's almost adorable."
Normani raises her eyebrows before nodding, "Yeah, it's adorable, good, let's go with that."
They both just eye each other for a while, pausing, while Billie and I continue to look expectantly at them, watching the show, but nothing else happens.
"That's it?", Billie speaks up.
"Is that the end of the fight?", I ask.
Jenny mumbles a light yeah, as she reaches over for her phone and leans back into the couch, focusing on the screen.
Billie and I pause, eyeing them for a moment, before I get up from the couch, "Okay. Well, I have to go."
Jenny waves, "Good luck!"
"Thank you", I look at Normani and point at Jenny, "Normani, you should marry her, good evening."
I wave as I turn around and walk out of the house.
"Well", Billie sighs, "Arin will be feeling let down now that he won't be getting his face fucked off."
Jenny mumbles, still looking down at her phone, "No, he never got the text."
Normani sighs in realisation, looking up at the ceiling, as Jenny looks up at her.
"You're worried now because you never replied to his message, aren't you?"
Normani sighs, "No, it's fine", she mumbles, "I'll leave it."
"Yeah", Jenny says before turning back to her phone, as Billie adds in, nodding.
"Probably best to just leave it."
"So bored!", Ginger whines, leaning back onto her chair.
She was sitting at the cafeteria of the psychiatric hospital at dinner time, along with Hannah, mom, Lauren and Harry; they were having soup.
"Okay", mom turns to her, "Yes?"
"Well, why can't we play a game or something?", Ginger complains, childishly.
Hannah sighs before Harry quietly lowers his head onto the table, closing his eyes.
"One... two... three...", he starts counting.
They all look at him confusedly, while Ginger quietly cheers, smiling widely, before getting up and rushing off, looking for a place to hide.
"Four... five... six..."
Lauren, mom and Hannah quickly follow suit, abandoning their bowls of soup and scattering around.
Ginger, Lauren and Hannah are soon no longer to be seen, while mom runs around the cafeteria for a while, looking all around.
"Seven... eight..."
One unknown man quickly gets up from his table, he'd been watching the situation occur. He approaches mom in a rushed pace, before questioning her.
"Why all the sneaking around?", he whispers, confusedly.
"Oh, we're playing hide and seek", mom explains, whispering.
The man eyes her before glancing at Harry, sitting down, his head on the table amongst the bowls of soup.
Mom pauses before asking, "Do you wanna play?"
"Of course I wanna play, come on", the man whispers back before grabbing mom by the arm as they both rush out into the open patio.
"Nineteen... prime number... twenty..."
"Out here?", mom asks as the two run into the plants.
"Yes, yes", the man quickly whispers, looking around attentively, to see if anyone was around, "There."
He was pointing at the dirt, behind some plants.
"What, in there?", mom questions.
The man rushes into the bushes as mom quietly does the same, frowning and looking around.
"Oh, probably spiders in here", she mumbles.
"Nah, there's no spiders in here", the man whispers as they kneel down among the leaves.
Harry wanders through the corridors, looking around into the rooms, a playful light smile on his face. Ginger sees him pass right by her, turning around and running off into the direction he had just come from.
Harry turns a corner while Ginger throws herself underneath a table at the lounge area. She looks around for a bit, before quietly laughing to herself.
It's around 8pm when I walk into the restaurant. I quickly look around the place, trying to find Camila, when my cell phone starts ringing in my pocket.
"What's up?", I pick up.
"Did you let her near any crayons?", my dad asks through the phone.
"No", I chuckle.
"So she couldn't have eaten a crayon?"
"Dad, she doesn't have any teeth."
I hear dad sighing onto the phone, before mumbling, "Okay, thanks, bye."
I place my phone back into my pocket, before spotting Camila at a table. As I approach her, she glances up at me, looking excited.
We quickly say our hellos, not knowing wether we should hug or not. When we don't, I sit down across from her and we look at each other for a moment.
Grabbing the menu, I try to distract myself from her glances as I quietly eye the food options. When the waiter comes around we order and wait.
It's been a couple minutes, a couple of awkward minutes of us not knowing what to say. I play with the napkins on the table, before looking back up at her and speaking up.
"When did you get your hair cut?"
She quietly shakes her head before responding, "I don't remember, a while ago."
"Looks good", I nod.
She looks down before speaking up again, "So, what have you been up to?"
"Uh, in the last year?", I ask as she nods, "Like, in the entire year?"
"Yeah."
"Lots of things."
"Like what?"
I think for a while before answering, "Erm, I got into the habit of flossing, I floss now, every day. Every single day. I finished a roll of floss, can you imagine?"
She raises her eyebrows before commenting, "I never floss, so..."
I finish swallowing my soda before speaking up again, "Did you know I can touch my nose with my tongue?"
"I didn't."
"Do you wanna see it?"
"Sure."
I struggle for a little bit before actually managing to touch my nose with my tongue, as I say, "Boom."
She chuckles at me, "That's gross"
I wipe the tip of my nose with my hand before shrugging and looking around, flipping my hair from my face.
"I'm also really good at balancing spoons on my nose", I say grabbing my spoon from the table.
I neatly place the spoon on my nose as I look back at Camila, gesturing with my hands towards my conquest.
She raises her eyebrows, "Wow."
"Yeah", I comment, "I can do this all day."
"I dare you to do it until the meal comes", she arches her eyebrow at me, a smirk on her face.
"No sweat", I smoothly brag, "That's not a problem."
She smiles at me, the spoon still on my nose. She folds her hands on top of her crossed legs, before chuckling lightly and eyeing me, challengingly.
We soon fall back into a silence. I look around the restaurant, placing my hands on top of the table, my head tilted up, in order to keep the spoon where it is.
Camila slowly looks down to her lap before looking back up at me and speaking up.
"Hey, why aren't we friends anymore?"
I awkwardly glance back at her, before quickly saying, "I don't know."
"Don't be dismissive", Camila looks me in the eyes, "You know."
"Do I?", I playfully ask, trying to avert her eye contact.
"Yeah, you know the answer", she insists, seriously, "You would've told Normani the answer. What would you say to Normani about it?"
"No, I don't... I don't know", I awkwardly stammer, before trying to change the subject, "Why does it matter, anyway? We're here now, about to have a parmigiana! Mm-mm, delicious! I'm nailing having this spoon on my nose."
I can see Camila sigh and look around, while I try to joke my way through this conversation.
"Is it because without sex you're not that interested in me?", she questions me, as I grow nervously awkward.
"Erm, no, I don't think-", I stammer in a high pitched voice before she cuts me in.
"Or is it because I rejected you?", she tries again, arching her eyebrows, "Did I bruise your ego?"
"Do I have an ego?", I joke, squinting my eyes, the spoon balancing from my nose.
"Yeah, you do, actually", she replies.
"Mm, do I?", I laugh awkwardly.
That's when the waiter approaches our table with our drinks. She quickly sets our glasses on the table, glancing at the spoon on my nose, but not commenting on it. We thank her as she politely smiles and walks away.
I point at the waiter as she was already gone, looking over at Camila, "She didn't seem as impressed as I was hoping."
She ignores my jokes, getting directly back to the previous subject, "I really wanted to be friends."
I pause before squinting my eyes at her, "Are you having a bad time? I feel like maybe you're having a bad time."
Camila sighs before looking down and dropping the topic, "No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up", she mumbles, lightly shaking her head.
"No, it's fine, obviously you have things you wanna talk about", I gesture at her, trying to comfort her.
I must've made her feel awkward, she won't stop looking down and shaking her head, maybe seeming slightly embarrassed?
"No, I'm being too intense", she shrugs it off.
"Okay", I yelp, awkwardly.
We both look around the place, in silence. I quietly tap the table with my fingers, my head still tilted up, the spoon still on my nose.
Camila glances back at me, looking at me in the eyes, seeming serious again. I internally yelp before she starts talking again.
"Look, there's something I wanna tell you."
"Yeah?", I raise my eyebrows.
Her eyes drop towards the spoon on my nose, before averting back to my eyes, as she mumbles, "I just feel a bit uncomfortable telling you, when you have a spoon on your nose..."
"Alright, I will take it off", I announce before gracefully removing the spoon from my nose, using both hands, and setting it down on the table.
"Hah!", Camila suddenly laughs at my face, pointing at me, "Got ya, you've been punked!"
I smile, relieved, before jokingly complaining, "Oh, damnit, I've been totes punked."
"Yes!", she cutely cheers to herself, smiling all around, as I giggle lightly.
She settles down before going quiet again, and looks up at me, a trace of a smile still on her face, "Do you have a girlfriend?", she asks quietly.
I smile before shaking my head and looking down at the table, "No... nah."
"No?"
"No girlfriend, not for me!", I exclaim, playfully, yet awkwardly, "Unloveable!"
"Would you still have come tonight even if you did?", Camila asks directly, staring at my eyes.
"Mila, you're being intense again", I quickly say, a bit stressed, raising my eyebrows at her as she sighs, "I don't know why things happened the way they happened. I promise you, I'm just not paying that much attention."
"Okay", she mumbles.
"Okay?"
"Okay, cool."
I sigh, "Okay."
"So do you wanna be friends now?", she carefully looks up at me.
I pick the spoon up again, placing it back on my nose, a playful smirk on my face, "Yep."
Camila eyes me, challengingly, before smiling and picking up her own spoon.
"You have no chance, babe", I tell her while she attempts balancing it on her nose.
She struggles, giggling at herself, as the spoon keeps sliding down.
"Nah, it's too slanty", I tease her, my spoon still on my nose, "Shit nose. It's too slanty."
She laughs at me, dropping her spoon, before picking it up and trying again, with no luck.
"Needs to be like a bubble", I brag as she giggles, "Mine's like a bubble."
Harry looks around the corridors, entering random rooms, getting slightly tired by now.
As he walks into Lauren's room, he opens the wardrobe door, peeking inside, before feeling a poke on his shoulder.
"You alright there, sir?", a nurse questions, as Harry turns around to face him.
"I, uhm-"
"It's okay, Harry, I found it!", Lauren exclaims sitting up, poking her head from behind her bed, waving her phone in her hand, "It was in my bag", she covers up for Harry.
"Erm, good", he mumbles back, raising his eyebrows.
"Everything alright here, Lauren?", the nurse makes sure.
"Yeah, it's okay", she replies, quietly, smiling politely, "We were just looking for my phone"
The nurse eyes Harry, before saying a quick 'okay' and walking away.
Harry follows the nurse with his eyes, before turning back to Lauren, who was throwing herself onto her bed.
"Shit hiding spot", he giggles at her.
She fakes a glare before commenting, "Yeah, well, I didn't actually trust you were going to come look for us."
"I wasn't sure myself", he chuckles, "I considered giving up and just go watch tv."
Lauren giggles before getting under her blanket and groaning, "I'm exhausted."
Harry nods, "I'll leave you to it", before walking out of the room, turning the lights off.
"I'm Rose, by the way", mom whispers to the stranger, as they both kneeled down side by side in the bushes.
"Stuart", he whispers back before shushing her again.
"Do you think they're gonna be-"
"Shh", he covers her mouth with his hand as mom chuckles.
"So serious", she comments.
"I'm not in this to loose, am I?", Stuart mumbles, looking around attentively.
Mom pauses, frowning to herself, before mumbling, "That's a good point. Me neither."
Camila swipes her card through the machine as we stand by the cashier, after finishing our meals. I mindlessly tap my fingers on the counter in front of me as Camila finishes paying her share of the bill.
I wait for the attendant to give us our slips as I get lost in my thoughts, and before I know it, Camila is kissing me. I raise my eyebrows in surprise as she quickly pulls her head back, our lips still slightly brushing against each other.
When I don't pull back, she leans back in, kissing me again, bringing her hands to my waist. It takes a couple seconds before it actually downs in my mind and I start kissing back, grabbing the back of her neck with my hands.
I lunge forward as she stumbles back into the cashier. We break the kiss, giggling, as we look at the attendant, who is awkwardly waiting for us to take the slips. I'm blushing as I thank her, giggling, avoiding her eyes; I look up and see Camila doing the same.
We got out of the restaurant as quickly as we managed to, and as soon as the cold air hits my face, so do Camila's lips. Her arms are fast around my torso as I instantly wrap mine around her neck. Throughout our make out session, we slowly stumble across the street, barely managing to get into my car.
Our old passion comes flying back, head first, and suddenly I just feel desperate to feel her body against mine. All of the negative bits of our memories are nowhere to be seen, all of the awkward parts; my brain only seems to have room for the memories of our old desire, only physical impulses.
"Hey, Billie", I greet as Camila and I walk into my house, shutting the door behind us.
"Hey!", Billie exclaims, coming out of the kitchen, "You must be Camila, I'm Billie."
Billie shakes her hand as Camila starts talking, an involuntary smile on her face, "Hey, we just had the funnest night", she tells Billie excitedly, occasionally smiling at me, "I got Y/N to balance a spoon on her nose until the meal came."
Billie turns her face to look at me, a teasing smirk on her face, as she raises her eyebrows.
"Yeah, I'm really good at balancing spoons on my nose", I braggingly tell Billie.
"Cool", Billie weirdly nods at me.
"Incredible", I add in.
"But then I tricked her into taking it off", Camila giggles, looking at me, as Billie opens an awkward smile, shoving her hands in her pockets.
"Good one", she quietly comments.
Camila looks at us once more, before smiling and heading towards my room, leaving Billie and I behind.
I follow her with my eyes until she's no longer in sight. I take a deep breath, smiling to myself, before turning to Billie, who's already teasingly smirking at me.
"Okay, bye!", I exclaim, as I start walking to my room.
Billie continues eyeing me, starting to make sex gestures with her hands, smirk still plastered on her face.
"Yep, bye, yep", I nod at her, blushing, while she keeps on gesticulating, "That's correct."
I walk into my room to see Camila sitting down on my bed, waiting for me. I shut the door behind me, before walking up to the bed and kissing Camila. She holds my head as she lies down on her back, pulling me on top of her, kissing me back.
Before I realise, she's on top of me, topless, pulling me up so I can take my bottom parts off. I sit down as she rushes to remove my skirt along with my pantyhose, as I try to untie my boots, struggling with the expectations in my head.
"My boots, let me get my boots", I laugh out trying to slow her down.
She laughs before letting go of my skirt, starting to kiss my neck from behind, as I start to struggle harder with my boots.
"It's complicated, I have complicated boots", I mumble, trying to focus on my shoe laces instead of Camila's mouth on the side of my neck, "Just give me a second, I need to concentrate!"
She backs away from my back, cutely and breathlessly laughing at me, as she lets herself fall onto her back on the bed, starting to take off her own skinny pants; which she quickly and gracefully does. Soon she's lying by my side, only in her bra and underwear, as I finish untying one of my boots.
"God, you're so fast", I complain, annoyed at my boots.
She laughs as she pants out breathlessly, "I know!"
"I should've worn crocs", I groan as Camila wheezes at me, tracing patterns on my back with her fingers, "Always wear crocs", I mumble before throwing my boots and bottoms at the other side of the room, before jumping back on top of her, kissing her hard.
She grabs my hair before commenting through the kiss, before biting my lower lip, "You'd look hot in crocs."
Ginger huffs in annoyance as another half hour pass by and nobody even approaches the lounge, where she stays hidden, lying down on the floor underneath a table.
Finally Hannah calmly walks in, walks across the room before sitting down on the couch and blankly staring at the wall.
"Ginger?", she calls out, calmly, "No one is looking for you now. Harry headed home, I'm gonna go to bed. Good night."
She slowly gets up from the couch as she hears Ginger curse from under the table, "Shit."
"You can keep playing if you like", Hannah comments as she walks off to her bedroom.
"I knew you'd ruin the game!"
"Do you think they're still looking?", mom quietly asks from the bushes.
"Don't think they are, are they?", Stuart mumbles, still looking ahead into the patio.
Mom pauses before questioning, "Does that mean we won?"
"I think it means we're fools."
Mom sighs in annoyance, before going back to glancing around in search.
That's when Stuart turns his head around and quickly kisses mom, before looking back ahead, glancing at the open patio. Mom frowns to herself before smiling sweetly, and taking Stuart's face on her hands pulling him back into another kiss. He quickly responds, as they kiss among the bushes.
My mind is all foggy as I focus on the task at hand. My arms are wrapped around Camila's thighs as her hands forcefully grab onto my hair.
And then suddenly I hear her sob.
Fuck. I mean, I've had some awkward sexual encounters but I don't think I've ever made them cry.
Her hands leave my hair as she covers her mouth and wipes the tears from her eyes, still sobbing. I quickly crawl onto her chest, a worried look on my face.
"Mila?", she keeps on sobbing, "It just really seems like you're crying."
She takes a moment before responding, as I trace random patterns on her shoulders with my fingers, awkwardly looking down.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know when to tell you", she covers her eyes with her hands, tears running down her face, "My dad died."
My eyes quickly widen as I try to think of what to do next, her sobs getting louder.
"Oh, shit, I'm sorry", I quietly mumble, "What happened?"
She doesn't answer me, instead just starts fully crying, as I internally panic.
"Oh, shit, okay", I ramble carefully wiping her tears from her cheeks, "When did it happen?"
"On monday", she sobs out.
My eyebrows go through the roof, "On monday? This monday?"
She weakly nods, as I enter my awkward mode.
I never quite know how to deal with emotions, I guess I got that from my dad.
I focus back on my fingers traveling around Camila's torso, as I start rambling, "Oh, I'm sorry, man. It's just shit, it's so shit. People die, and it's horrible, and there's just nothing anyone can do to make it better."
I glance back up at Camila's scrunched up face, as she starts sniffling, quieter and quieter, catching back her breath. I softly wipe her cheeks dry once again before pulling the comforter from my bed up, covering our bodies as I lay on top of her.
I reach up to sweetly kiss her cheek, before settling back down on her chest and quietly asking, "Is he the first person in your family to die?"
She mumbles a quiet 'yes' as she starts sobbing all over again.
I sigh, before starting the random patterns on her chest once again.
"When aunt Peg died", I softly start, "it was the first time I realised that everyone I knew was going to die, and that I was going to die."
I glance up at Camila as she quietly eyes me expectantly, her eyes red and watering.
"It's so crazy terrifying", I add in, as Camila closes her eyes for a moment, inhaling deeply.
"When I was a kid, sometimes my parents, they'd buy me a helium balloon", I speak up again, caressing her cheek lightly, "and I would just spend the whole day, like, so miserable and so tense, just terrified that I was going to let it go.
"You know, and so when aunt Peg died, I started feeling like that about everybody", I finish, my fingers brushing agains her face, as she slowly opens her eyes to look back at me.
"I don't know what my point is there", I mumble, resting my head on the crook of her neck, "Is that helpful?"
I feel her nod and quietly sniff.
"Am I being helpful?", I silently chuckle onto her neck.
She look at me with sad eyes, before lightly nodding and smiling, as I lower my head back onto her chest, kissing it softly. I hear her exhale.
"You wanna see a picture of my halloween costume?", Jenny asks Normani, as they sit side by side on Mani's bed, semi naked.
"Okay", Normani replies, swirling the wine inside the glass in her hands, as Jenny quickly shows her the screen of her phone and Mani laughs, "Wow! That is small."
"I was a sexy bunny", Jenny smiles contently.
"Playboy bunny?", Normani teases.
"No!", Jenny complains, frowning, before turning back to her phone, "Not playboy, they don't own bunnies, okay?"
"Okay", Normani mumbles, smiling lightly.
They share a quick moment of quiet before Normani speaks up.
"I used to have a pet rabbit", Jenny quickly turns her head to the dark skinned girl, gasping, "$haniqua."
"What? Normani!", Jenny gawks at her, "Why didn't you tell me? You know I love rabbits!"
"Yeah, she died", Normani mumbles.
"Oh", her smile fades away, "That's really sad"
Normani nods, as Jenny adds in, "It's really sweet of you to keep that from me."
They lightly smile at each other.
My phone starts ringing. I had gotten up from Camila's chest once I started acting too awkward, and was now sitting down beside her lying body, holding the comforter to my chest.
Camila had stopped crying after a while, but still seemed lost in thought, so I had been blankly staring at the wall, waiting for a cue, any cue, to get out of that situation.
When my phone started ringing, Camila looked up at me, waiting to see if I would pick it up, and I froze, looking back at her, not wanting to seem rude, but also desperate to pick it up.
"Okay, that's gonna be my dad", I speak up as I reach over her torso to grab my phone, lying chest down across her body, "and I don't wanna look like a horrible person answering this while you're... you know, with your dad, but my sister is sick"
"You have a sister?", I hear her ask before pressing the cell phone to my ear.
"Hi."
"It's dad", I hear my dad's voice through the call, "Just calling to let you know she's okay."
Camila pokes my face before quietly asking, "Is she okay?"
"Yeah."
"Who's that?", my dad questions.
"It's Camila", I reply before Camila speaks into the phone.
"Hey, Alan."
"Hi, Camila!", dad exclaims surprised just as I hear some shuffling through the phone call.
"We just started her on solids, Y/N!", I hear Mae's thai accent exclaiming through the phone, "And I forgot about the beetroot, I am so sorry. I'm just so tired, so stressed!"
"Yeah, it's okay, I gotta go now, bye, okay", I quickly say into the cell phone before shutting it off and placing it back on the floor, before turning back to Camila.
"I'm so sorry, I'm just so sorry", I mumble lying back on top of her chest.
"That's fine, I understand", she mumbles back, glancing up at me, "Keep talking."
"Okay", I shove my face onto her shoulder for a moment, thinking of what to say next, before raising my head back up, "Okay, I mean, it would be easier if we believed in heaven cause I could tell you that your dad is, like, really happy, and that if you behave yourself, then you will get to see him again."
Camila just keeps her eyes down as she weakly shakes her head, before mumbling, "My dad's not in heaven."
"Okay, well", I try to turn it around, "gays don't go to heaven so you'll probably still get to hang out."
Her eyes remain on the wall as she shakes her head again, "I don't want to hang out."
I pause, eyeing her, feeling awkward and not really knowing what else to say, asking myself how my night went from hot sex to awkward comforting.
I desperately want to get out of here, so I quietly reach my head up, pecking Camila on the lips, before speaking up softly.
"I'm gonna get some wine."
I feel her nod as I get up from her chest, quickly grabbing a large hoodie from the floor and putting it on. I eye Camila once again, as she keeps her eyes down.
So I turn around and walk out of my room. Shutting my door behind me, I inhale deeply.
'What the fuck', I think. I exhale.
"Hey, you know how before you said that you wouldn't mind if I slept with other people?", Normani asks Jenny, who nods from her position beside her, eyes not leaving her phone.
"Yeah?"
"Well, that made me really like you", Normani continues.
Jenny smiles, still facing her screen, "Okay?"
"Like, it made me want you to not sleep with other people."
That gets Jenny to turn her head to face Normani.
"You think we should be exclusive?", Jenny carefully asks as Normani nods.
"Yeah."
Jenny smiles once again, "Like, girlfriends?"
"Yeah, you're incredible", Normani smiles at her, shrugging, "We'd be great together."
They look at each other for a while, before Jenny quickly says, "Okay", as she turns her eyes back to her phone, with a smile on her face.
Normani turns to face the wall, also a smile on her face, "Okay."
I walk back into my room holding two glasses of wine, only to find the bed empty and Camila's clothes gone.
I sigh, before sipping the wine from my glass, as I hear my cell phone buzz; I've got a new message.
"Message received 11:20pm", I hear the answering machine through the phone, before Camila's voice reach my ears, "Hey, um, so I left. It's not your fault, okay? I just... I just got embarrassed crying in front of you so I'm gonna go home and cry alone."
I sigh, listening to Camila's message, pouring the wine from her cup into mine, before taking a big gulp.
"I know you don't want to be friends, so I won't ask", I hear the last bit of the message, before turning my cell phone off and throwing it on my bed.
I take another big gulp out of my wine, before sighing once more and heading to the living room.
I find Billie stretched out on the couch, Cora's head resting on her lap as she plays video games, the sound of the bullets from the tv getting louder each step I take.
As she notices my presence she pauses the game and looks up at me.
"What happened?"
I chuckle before answering, "Erm, she started crying and then she left."
"Yo, what did you do?", she giggles at me, before turning back to her video game.
"I don't know", I sit down on the second couch, sipping my wine, "Where's Harry?"
"Went to sleep as soon as he got home to you and Normani both getting laid", she tells me, and unreadable look on her face as she eyes the tv screen.
"I thought I was being so charming", I mumble.
"Maybe she cut herself on your pubic hair."
I wheeze before speaking up, "Oh, my god, Billie, she was telling me about her dead dad, right, her dad died on monday", I tell her as she turns to me immediately, gawking, as I continue, "and I could not stop my brain from thinking about how dumb my vagina looks. I'm a bad person."
Billie turns her glance back to the tv, before pausing the game and looking blankly at the floor, and then looking back up at me, with a weird look on her face. I wanna say, maybe, a caring look?
"Do you wanna watch something?", she asks me softly, "Like a show about cupcakes or storage or whatever?"
I laugh at her attempt of guessing my interests, as she got really close actually.
"No, it's fine", I chuckle, pointing at her video game, "Watching the people die really helps put my problems into perspective."
Billie eyes me for a moment, before turning back her attention to the tv, pressing play on her video game.
"Do you want some wine?", I offer, quietly.
She pauses, before looking back at me thinking, "Yeah."
"Yeah?"
She nods as I pour some of my wine into her empty mug on the center table. I lean back onto the couch, curling up into a ball, fitting both my knees into my hoodie, as Cora comes up on my couch, laying beside me.
I fall asleep to the sound of bullets, simulated screams and Billie's quiet curses.