Yesterday is Tomorrow (everything is connected)
VII
*
"Even people capable of living in the past don't really know what the future holds."
- 11/22/63, Stephen King
*
It was as everything froze. The ability to think, to breathe, to move. Hermione was still, unable to do anything except inhale - the scent of peppermint, spice - and taste - ale - and feel - warm lips on hers.
Hermione opened her eyes and stared straight into James' as he slowly pulled back from her. His eyelashes fluttered just a bit, and then -
His were wide, the hazel shine to them surprised by his actions; they reflected her own amber, both of them just staring and unsure of what to do next. A light from a disco ball reflected off his glasses, and for the first time in a long time, Hermione didn't compare James to Harry - because quite honestly, Harry never looked that baffled when staring at her.
His hands were warm on her back, and their stomachs were pressed together, their chests brushing against one another as they breathed. James's mouth opened, and he blinked, but he couldn't form any words.
In a moment, sound came rushing back and there was noise everywhere as people were cheering, singing, to Auld Lang Syne or to the lyrics of the next song that was playing as they ushered in 1976.
"Hermione - I -"
Then Sirius was there, tipsy, hooking an arm around James's shoulder and making him stumble back and away from her as he laughing jeered, "Yeah, wrong Evans, mate!"
Hermione blinked - once - and then spun on her heel and pushed through the throng of sweaty people on their dance floor.
"Oi, what's her problem?"
James's eyes flicked to his friend, and there was a weak grin on his face as he chuckled, but it dropped quickly. He felt breathless and wasn't sure why. "Dunno. Hey - where's your brother?"
Sirius shrugged, eyes trailing to follow a girl in a short, short skirt. "Dunno. Lost him after I said Happy New Year."
"Listen, let's leave, yeah?" said James, reaching up and tugging at the collar of his stiff robes. He cleared his throat. He no longer felt comfortable in what he was wearing. "Let's head back to the Manor."
Sirius shrugged, but they left.
But he didn't feel like he could breathe when they were outside, either.
Strange.
*
Hermione pushed into the men's toilet, a single room occupied only by a very green Barty. He wearily looked up from where he was curled up around the toilet, his eyes beady. "'Mione?"
"Hey bestie," said Hermione, dropping to the floor next to him and smoothing his sweaty fringe from his forehead. He leaned into her cool hand. "You really did a number on yourself, didn't you?"
"Mmm," he moaned, turning back to point his face at the basin.
Hermione pursed her lips. "I don't think I'm going to be able to get you home this way. Maybe you should spend the night at Reggie's?"
Barty shook his head weakly. "His mum'll freak. He was supposed to be at the Greengrass's all evening. He's probably gone back anyway."
Hermione sighed. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Well... there's nothing else for it then."
"... wha?"
"You're coming home with me tonight and we're going to sneak you in," declared Hermione. "Can you stand?"
Barty groaned but gamely wobbled to his feet with Hermione supporting him. Her best friend was tall and gangly and leaned heavily on her as they slowly stumbled forward. Before exiting the toilet, Hermione took advantage of the numerous wizards in the area to cast a mouth-freshening charm on Barty, as well as straightening his clothes and cleaning them of sweat.
It was hard, making their way through the crowd, but a rather amused - and drunk - Elliot Smith noticed them and helped Hermione by taking Barty's other side until they were around the back of the pub, near a large skip, to call the Knight Bus.
Barty managed to hold on to the contents of what was left in his stomach by the time they arrived in Cokeworth, near the mining quarry and well away from any NYE revellers in town. It was, however, some distance to the Evans household, past several winding lanes to the terraced estates, but Hermione was determined to get Barty there. Luckily, the air cleared Barty's nausea and by the time they made it to the nearest houses, he was only leaning on his friend as they walked.
It was only half an hour later when they were taking a slow walk past the town center. There were still parties going on in the three pubs in town, including the carvery and community center. Hermione and Barty blended right in with those standing outside smoking or laughing with their friends. They were just another drunk couple on their way home.
Except -
"Hermione?"
Hermione tensed and twisted, Barty swearing as he went with her. They came to a stop at ninety degrees from where they started, with Hermione staring with wide eyes at her eldest sister surrounded by several others.
Petunia was wearing a nicely dressed floral dress, tights, and a light cardigan, her arm looped through a tall, burly close-cropped blond who was looking at them quizzically. Around them were others, similar in height to the teen she was with and a few girls in sparkly dresses.
"Oh. Heeeeeeeeey," greeted Hermione, drawing out the vowel. "Tuney." She glanced at the building behind them and nearly sighed as she realized Petunia and her friends ditched their parents and Lily to visit the pub instead of remaining at the rec center.
"Who's this, Pet?" asked the tall blond, glancing between the two girls and the dopey Barty that hung off Hermione.
"Hey," greeted Barty, smiling widely in his usual, manic way. He extended a hand, although it was pointed more at the concrete than at the blond. "I'm Barty! Junior! I'm Hermione's best friend!"
Petunia's eyebrows were hidden behind her fringe. "You know, when you said you were crashing a party with your friends, I really didn't think this was how the night would end."
Hermione shrugged but merely dislodged Barty, who grumbled. "Neither did I."
"Hey mate," the blond said, stepping from Petunia's side and helping take Barty off Hermione. "Where are you going?"
"Yes, 'Mione," drawled Petunia, crossing her arms and looking eerily like their mother. "Where were you going?"
"Petunia, do you know these two?" one of the girls asked.
"This is my little sister and a friend of hers from her school," explained Petunia, sighing.
"The freaky one?" asked another girl, shocked. She squinted at Hermione from behind very thick eyelashes. "I thought she was ginger."
Petunia shook her head and Hermione stared hard at her sister.
"So where are we taking them?" asked the blond. He slightly jostled a still grinning Barty. "And this one, especially?"
"I was going to smuggle Barty into the house," finally admitted Hermione. "Not my best plan, I will admit. He mixed his drinks and spent most of the night in the toilet."
The blond winced sympathetically.
"Blimey, mate," said the blond.
Petunia started saying goodbye to her friends, and the girls, who seemed not to care much for Lily by the sound of it, gave Hermione some cold, but polite, goodbyes as they paired off. The blond holding Barty remained, as did Petunia obviously.
"'Mione, you know he can't stay with us," said Petunia, looking at Barty again. For her first experience with a teenage wizard who wasn't Severus Snape, Petunia was handling herself well. "Why can't he go home?"
Hermione bit her lip. "His dad is really, really high up in the government," she improvised with the non-magical equivalent. "He'd get into a lot of trouble, and when I suggested our other friends' house, we both decided that was not a good idea, given how traditional his mother is."
Petunia sighed.
"He can sleep things off at mine," suggested the blond, making Petunia turn to him in surprise. "Honestly, I don't mind, Pet. It is your little sister's best friend. I think I can trust him."
Petunia fretted. "Sean, that's very kind of you, but what if he -? If he -" she turned to Hermione and flapped her hands. "-uses you know?"
Sean's own eyebrows jumped up. "You know?" he echoed in disbelief.
Hermione snorted. "I think he's going to sleep and then eat a lot. He's not in his right mind for anything else, Tuney, and Barty's in the same house as me. He's very smart."
Barty turned to Hermione, lolling his head on Sean's shoulder as he beamed at her. "I love you, too, 'Mione!"
Hermione reached over and patted Barty's cheek affectionately.
Petunia's eyes moved between the two, a calculating look at her, but she slowly nodded. Turning to her boyfriend, whom Hermione could now put a face to the name, she asked, "Are you sure, Sean?"
He nodded.
"Alright then," she replied, standing on her toes to kiss her boyfriend's cheek, whispering her goodbyes.
Then, Sean was turning to Hermione with Barty facing her too and grinning. "Nice to meet you, Hermione! I promise I'll take care of this one and bring 'im by tomorrow. Probably for lunch."
"Thanks." Hermione tried not to grin as Barty perked up and muttered, "Food?"
Hermione and Petunia watched as Sean dragged an enthusiastic Barty from the pub and in the opposite direction of where they lived, expertly drawing Barty's attention away from the neon signs in shop windows or very Muggle things.
Once they turned the corner, Petunia turned to her sister. "How were you planning on getting back into the house? Everyone thinks you're still there."
"The front door's lock can be jimmied," replied Hermione nonchalantly. "I learned how to pick it years ago. No one really questioned where I would disappear off to, and sometimes mum or Lily would lock the door forgetting I was at the library, or the rec center, or in the park. So I learned to make do."
Something flashed across Petunia's face, but it was gone quickly. "Well let's go back now. If someone asks, you stepped out for a walk and we bumped into each other."
They were silent for some time, Petunia hugging herself to keep warm. Eventually, Hermione demurred, "I'm sorry we interrupted your evening with Sean and your friends."
Petunia waved a very thin hand at her sister. "It's fine. I'm seeing Sean tomorrow anyway." She paused and glanced at Hermione, saying, "Besides, you're my sister. You come first."
"It didn't quite sound that way with regards to Lily," Hermione said quietly. She kept her tone light and nonjudgmental to see how Petunia would respond. "I'm not blind to how you two fight."
Petunia's mouth flattened into a thin line. "My... disagreement with Lily doesn't really have to do with you."
"So what is it?" asked a curious Hermione, who had kept out of much of the fights in her earlier years by just not physically being around her family as much as she could - at home or at Hogwarts. She often felt like an interloper in this new time. "Is it... about Hogwarts?"
Petunia sighed, hugging herself tighter and hunching a bit. It took Hermione a moment to realize how tall and willowy Petunia was, and wondered if her self-conscious sister even realized she could probably model if she wanted.
"A little bit," admitted the eldest Evans child. "And not really."
Hermione waited for Petunia to continue, which she eventually did.
"I had this... this entire idea in my mind that we would all go to secondary together. I would be a guide for you and Lily, having already gone through everything," she said quietly, green eyes down on the ground. "Isn't that the purpose of a big sister? To guide you? To protect you? To be there for her little sisters, no matter what?"
She shook her head, her blonde curls bouncing a bit. "I feel like not only did I miss out on doing all those big sister things I had planned with you and Lily, but I was cheated out of it with magic. Both of you have the abilities and spend your time together at - that school - and I can't be there. I can't help you with homework, or with boys, or the social pecking order. So what good am I?"
Hermione blinked in shock. I never knew-!
"And then precious Lily comes home, and it's all about how amazing she's doing, who her friends are, and the pranks played on her by this," Petunia affected her voice, "super cool and popular sport player that she apparently can't stand because he bullies that Snape boy - and I - I -" she broke off, shrugging bitterly. "Where's my place in Lily's life? In your life?"
"Well," said Hermione slowly as she absorbed this new information in shock. "If it makes you feel any better, I rarely see or speak to Lily at school."
Petunia actually stopped walking to stare at her. "Wait - what?"
Hermione shrugged. "We're in different houses. I think she explained it once before? Yeah, anyway - I'm in Ravenclaw and she's in Gryffindor and has all these friends while I just keep to myself or hang out with Barty and Reggie. I also skipped like, three years in two courses, so that hardly made friends when you're a fourteen-year-old surrounded by seventeen-year-olds."
"But," sputtered Petunia as they started walking again, "Don't you have those - civvies days? In town?"
"Which I spend at the castle, doing my own research while Lily goes on dates," answered Hermione in a very matter-of-fact voice.
"Doesn't she try to sit with you at meals? Or you with her? Surely there are no rules against that?"
"Maybe once in a while she comes over, but honestly I think most people don't realize we're related. After all, I don't look like her."
Petunia snorted - and the sound, so unladylike, had Hermione staring at her. "Oh please, don't look at me like that. None of us looks anything alike in terms of hair colour. Both of us have the curls, but Lily doesn't; Lily and I share mother's eyes, but you have father's. You and Lily have magic, and I don't. And all three of us have different hair colours." She squinted and sniffed. "But you do have some red in yours, I suppose."
"Erm. Thanks?"
They had reached their street, and with certain daintiness, Petunia pulled out their keys from her purse. Before they went in, Petunia stopped Hermione by grabbing onto her upper arm and holding on.
"I was never upset with you," she said, strongly enough that Hermione started.
"I never thought-"
"I know you didn't like how I treated Lily," said Petunia, her mouth twisting. "Calling her a freak and ignoring her."
Hermione squirmed a bit in her sister's grip. "Well, it wasn't very nice-"
"I know," snapped Petunia. Then she sighed. "I know. It's hard enough dealing with my own jealousy and unhappiness and then seeing her come back so happy about that - that place and going on about that boy-"
Snape? wondered Hermione.
"-but she also took you away. I guess I always thought that she was doing what I wanted to do for you both at Hogwarts." Petunia's eyes shifted away. "But I saw you this holiday - how you acted, and how she acted." Petunia looked at Hermione. "Does she even know you at all?"
Do any of you? thought Hermione, slightly uncharitably. When had they all given up on her? On knowing their daughter, their sister? Why did it bother her now? She had pushed them all away first.
But - but - a tiny voice in her head went: Barty and Regulus stood by your side and pushed through. Why didn't they?
"I'm sorry," said Petunia, breaking into Hermione's thoughts. Her head jerked up in surprise to see Petunia's toying with the key. "I'm sorry I wasn't a better sister."
"So am I," replied Hermione quietly.
Petunia's lips slowly turned up in a gentle smile. "New year, new us?"
Hermione's smile matched hers. "New year," she agreed, "new us."
*
Barty made it home safely the following day, beginning 1976 with a wicked hangover that he couldn't explain away to his mother or her knowing stare. Luckily, his father had been out, dealing with the fallout of some very drunk wizards and Muggle-baiting, he wrote to Hermione, that he never knew that his son wasn't even home for New Years.
Regulus had also made it home safely, citing that he skipped out on the Greengrass's early to his mother's displeasure, while Sirius kept silent and merely stared at his younger brother as if he had never seen him before. (Regulus wrote that every so often, Sirius would waggle his eyebrows at him from behind their mother's back, like they shared some amazing secret. The younger Black was thoroughly fed up.)
The winter term for Hogwarts began on a chilly January with frosted windows and a bitter, Arctic wind that kept students inside their common rooms, huddled near the fireplaces - except for Hermione. It was Friday, and she and James had a study date. OWLs were only five months away!
Hermione was set up, tapping her quill impatiently. Potter had never been late since their first tutoring session, so she was mildly concerned and annoyed.
Finally, he swept in; his hair in disarray and heavily sat in the seat across from her in their tiny nook. "Merlin, I am so sorry -" he blushed and fluffed up his hair some more. "Things were - I wasn't sure - it's been -"
Hermione stared. "Are you blushing? Did my sister finally say yes to a date or something?"
His flush deepened. "I - ah - no -"
Hermione narrowed her eyes. "Alright..." she then pulled out and flipped her Arithmancy text to the correct chapter, and extended her hand over the table towards James, her palm up as she made 'gimme' motions with her hand.
He stared at her hand for a long moment.
"Merlin, Potter," said Hermione exasperatedly, "What is with you? Your homework? From Yule break?"
His hazel eyes snapped up to hers and widened behind his glasses.
"Oh! Yes! Right!" he then scrambled to turn in the seat to check his shoulder bag and began pulling out bits and bobs and putting them on the table while Hermione's incredulous stare made her eyes grow wide.
"Potter."
He immediately paused.
"Your homework?"
He cleared his throat and finally pulled out his textbook, with the homework in between the cover and the first page. Although she was unsure what was going with him, she squinted and frowned, and then resolved to ignore it, going over his past homework and notes.
Across from her, Potter fidgeted, twisting his fingers around, bringing his wand out and tapping it on the table, and then eventually pulling a snitch from his bag and tossing it in the air and catching it before it zipped down one of the aisles.
The glint of the snitch caught Hermione's attention as she finished checking his homework, and she glanced up. He wasn't even paying her attention, just focused on absently catching the snitch while his thoughts turned inward. There was a small smile on his face.
How many times have I heard Lily complain about him playing with "that stupid snitch" at home? He must be thinking of her, thought Hermione, rolling her eyes. She dropped her quill and nonverbally had her homework neatly roll up, flying over towards him.
He jumped at the scroll rested on his open textbook, glancing down at it and then back at her. "How - how did I do?"
Hermione felt a true, and fond, smile creep onto her lips. "Well, I think you'll do just acceptable, Potter."
He looked horrified. "An A? That's it after all the work we've put into this?"
"For your OWL? Yeah," answered Hermione. "But if we keep this up? By May? I can see you getting an O."
"Really?" a grin split his face, and his eyes sparkled. He put the snitch into his bag and leaned across the table.
"Really," nodded Hermione. "I think we can call tonight to an end, and start up with your fifth-year material next week."
"I-" he broke off, his grin turning lopsided. He stood, shoving his homework into his bag, along with his text. "Thank you, Hermione! I couldn't' do this without you!"
Hermione stood too, shrugging her shoulders. "You're doing all the hard work, Potter, take some credit."
Without realizing it, he stepped forward and hugged her tightly. Hermione stiffened in shock, arms at her sides and eyes wide. He felt her response and stepped back, running a hand through his hair.
"Merlin - I'm sorry -" and he truly was, as he looked down in frustration and stepped further back.
Hermione cleared her throat and choked out, "Yeah, it's fine-"
"No, it's not-" he was red again.
Hermione stopped and peered at him, watching his body language as he shifted from foot to foot, his blush extending up to redden his ears. Suddenly, his behaviour was making sense. "Potter - is this about New Years?"
His face went as red as his Gryffindor jumper.
She sighed. "Look - it was - it meant nothing, right? You fancy my sister, everyone knows that. Like Sirius said - wrong Evans. It's totally cool." She even waved a hand to illustrate how nonchalant she was about having her first kiss in this time by him. Not like he knew that.
Something in Potter stilled as she spoke, and his blush receded a bit. "Erm. Yes. Yes - that's right. Lily. Lily Evans, that is."
"Cool," replied Hermione. She picked up her school bag and slung it over her shoulder. "In that case, I'm heading out. Got other things to do. See you around, Potter."
"Yeah, see you, Hermione," he croaked out.
*
Two weeks later, as January came to a close, and Hermione read a letter from Petunia (... I'm thinking London, but it's so far away, isn't it? Do you think mummy and daddy will let me go? I think this is what I really want to do and pursue...), Lily stopped by the Ravenclaw table at dinner.
"Hey Hermy," she greeted, sliding onto the bench.
"No," replied Hermione, not looking up from the letter while Barty's slid back and forth, absently mixing his mash and peas into one lumpy pile.
"You don't even know what I'm going to say!" the Gryffindor protested.
Hermione glanced up this time. "I won't do anything anyway if you're going to call me 'Hermy.'"
Lily sighed. "Fine. Anyway - I wanted to ask you a question."
"Is it about school?" asked Hermione, frowning. "Because you're a year ahead of me. I really don't think I can help you."
"No - it's not -"
"Then is it about - you know - something personal?" Hermione's eyes slid to the Gryffindor table. "Because you're a year ahead of me. I really don't think I can help you unless it's in seventh-year material for Arithmancy or Charms, the latter which you're practically a savant in."
Lily scowled. "No, it's -"
"Have mum or dad sent an owl? Tuney's been pretty consistent in writing me this term, but she didn't mention anything..."
"No, it's not mum and dad - wait," surprise flitted across Lily's face. "Tuney's writing you?"
Hermione cocked her head to the side. "Yeah. Don't you write to her? She's not bad in replying quickly."
"What? She does? I mean - no, I haven't written her in years -" Lily shook her head. "Ugh, stop trying to change the topic. I'm trying to ask you about Potter!"
Barty choked on his roast.
"Potter?" replied Hermione incredulously, snapping her book shut and staring at Lily in surprise. "What about him? I thought you can't stand him."
"I can't," emphasized Lily strongly, ducking her head a bit to stare at her sister. Hermione felt riveted in her sister's emerald eyes. "But - you are still tutoring him weekly, right?"
Hermione slowly nodded.
"Right, right. So... have you noticed... anything... weird with him lately?" continued Lily.
Hermione frowned. "Weird, how?"
Lily sighed, tossing her red hair over her shoulder. It gleamed in the candlelight. "I'm not sure. But - something's changed. I can't put my finger on it. I just thought you'd notice and know since you see him often."
"He's in your house," pointed out Barty acidly. "You see him more than she does."
Lily pursed her lips, turning away from Barty to face Hermione instead. "Look, can you just - I don't know - keep an eye out?" her eyes narrowed. "I bet he's planning something big on the Slytherins sometime soon."
"Erm," began Hermione, sharing a look with Barty who then rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure he's not - but yeah... sure..."
"Great!" Lily's mood changed from her deep scowl to a bright smile. She leaned forward and bussed Hermione on the cheek, leaving the Ravenclaw table as quickly as she arrived. "Thanks, Hermy!"
Hermione scowled this time. "Not. Hermy."
She was silent, staring at her plate for several long moments before Barty asked, "What was the purpose in that?"
Frowning, Hermione turned partially in her seat to glance over her shoulder at the Gryffindor table; while she normally had her back to them, opting to face Slytherin and Regulus at his table, both she and Barty were keenly aware of the Marauders at mealtimes in case of unfortunate pranks.
The four were clustered together, whispering and laughing as they ate dinner. Sirius was animated, waving his hands around as he used a fork to demonstrate something. Pettigrew was hanging on the Black heir's every word, while Lupin interjected something that made Potter snort and laugh, banging his hand on the table.
What is Lily on about? There's nothing different with Potter, she thought, eyes narrowed.
As if hearing her thoughts, Potter looked up and caught her eyes. He grinned, mouthing, "Alright?" to her.
She nodded.
Holding her gaze, his grin widened, and he reached up and ran a hand through his hair, making it messier than before. Then, he turned back to his friends, and Hermione turned around to face the proper way on their table.
"I think I should take my sister to the hospital wing," said Hermione to Barty, shaking her head. "Clearly, Lily is losing her mind." The stress of OWLs was getting to her.
Barty was silent, eyes flickering between the Gryffindor table and her, a thoughtful frown on his face.
"Yeah..." he agreed slowly. "Sure."
But Hermione put it out of her mind. She had other things to worry about.
*
TBC...