Logan:
Bella and I both sat in comfortable silence on the drive back from getting ice cream. The temperatures were creeping to freezing temperatures, but the look on her face made it all worth it.
I held my breath a bit as I drove back to my house. It was going to be the first time she has visited, and I was more than dreading it.
My brain kept going over the areas she might find evidence of uncovering the truth about me. It was eating me alive. The longer I knew her, the more I wanted to hide my true identity.
It's like the more little pieces of her true self break off, and it makes me want to shrivel down and hide more.
Bella deserved an honest and real guy, but I couldn't be that for her. Not the parts of me that were creeping under the skin. The more I got to know her, the tighter the iron fist felt around my throat.
Deep in my bones held the truth of the true monster I was, and there was no way either of us could ever avoid that truth.
It was something I couldn't stop thinking about it even if I wanted to. The question was whether to tell her or not to tell her.
I weighed the consequences. I went over every scenario in my head. Rethought my morals and ethics. I played out how I could make this work in a million different ways.
I gripped the steering wheel tightly as my mind plummeted in three different directions.
It was as if tonight played a role in my decision, too. It was the first time I saw her in such a vulnerable light, and it had me even questioning my morals.
I could tell she had gone through a lot by the constant ramblings, her overcompensating and apologizing. It was something that made me fall for her more, but it wasn't enough to deflect from the true light she shined.
Bella was scared and already hurt in the past. So dragging her into my turmoil could be a recipe for disaster.
Or, it could bring us closer. Ignite a flame that was already growing, adding more fuel to the fire.
My thoughts tripled over as I heard Bella humming lightly to the radio.
"Do you have any animals that live with you?" Bella huffed out, before turning her head to look over at me.
"No, I'm not home enough to be responsible for another life." I gave a hearty laugh and thought about the layout of my house over and over again.
Was there evidence of werewolves in my office? Were those rogue papers still scattered in my bedroom? Did I leave something that's alarming out on the floor?
Bella twirled her fingers in her lap as a nervous habit I'd picked up on, "I couldn't imagine not living without Clementine. It'd be far too lonely with her."
"I couldn't imagine you not having that kind of guard animal either." I teased as I pulled into the long road that my house resided at the end of.
The gate unlocked as I began to drive forward and I heard Bella let out a small gasp. I kept my focus on the land outside of my house, carefully trying to detect if my pack members weren't running wild through the yard.
"Your house is...wow," Bella commented, her eyes growing wider.
I pulled the car into the garage and quickly ran to the passenger side to let Bella out.
Did I lock the abasement? Where did I hide my guns today? Did I ever take out those ancient pictures from the photo albums?
The questions burned further into my skull as I thought more desperately about the mishaps that could go wrong tonight. Maybe I should've gone through and hidden everything before she got her, but now it was too late.
I grasped onto Bella's hand as I led us out of the garage. The garage leads to the entryway to the main foyer of my house. I quickly slipped off my suit jacket and watched as Bella stood forward to examine the wide room. I walked over to the closet to hang up the jacket and glanced back over at my mate.
"Oh my goodness... your house is like a museum" Bella commented, her eyes twinkling around the chandler from the ceiling. She hurried to turn around and stepped towards me, "Can I have a tour? Your house is magnificent." She reached out to grab my hand and gave it a little squeeze. The action would've had me agreeing to start wars if she asked me to.
"Sure," I gave a crooked smile. "I think there's a room you'll like." I sent her a wink before I held onto her delicate hand, and led her up the stairs.
The library in my house was neglected by me. I rarely ever went in the crowded room that reminded me of my grandfather. It was something I had ignored, and let slip through the cracks.
The door of the library stood ten feet tall and was always closed. I held onto the handle and pushed the door open for Bella to enter first. I heard a deep gasp come from Bella as she walked through the door, taking in the walls of books that cover the room. The look on her face was something that would be engraved in my mind for all eternity.
It was as though her eyes shined a little brighter, her face fully in awe like she was finally in awe.
"Oh my..." Bella breathed out, circling the room.
It was as though the room was unfamiliar to me too, as I never came in there. It was a section of my house I didn't want to acknowledge. When my grandfather passed, all the books he owned were inherited by me. Since then, they've been stored away in this room, never to be touched again.
Until today.
"Your collection is incredible..." Bella turned back to glance at me, "I could only dream of having a book collection this big one day."
I ran my fingers through my hair as I took in the beautiful sight of her. "The books were my grandfather's, and he gave them to me once he passed. You can take whatever."
She gave me a look and began thoroughly scanning the shelves. "Your grandfather was quite a book collector. My family was never interested in books like me, but this library you have is unbelievable." Bella's fingers trailed over the spines of the books on a shelf. "I'm sorry I keep saying that, I'm just in complete awe."
I stepped towards her and watched as she held her breath. I brushed my fingers over hers once more. At this point, touching her was like a magnet that kept pulling me in. "Please, take whatever you want." I insisted, she deserved the world and if the books were what she wanted, she could have them all. They held no material value to me, just a memory that I didn't want to bear.
"I couldn't do that, they're yours." She tilted her head to the side in objection and began browsing the books once again. I watched her as she scanned each shelf meticulously.
"There's no way!" Bella squealed as she pulled a book off the shelf and looked at the book in shock. She quickly opened the hardcover book and scanned the first few pages. "You own one of the first editions of Emma by Jane Austen?" Bella tugged my hand and held the book out for me to look at.
I stared at the worn cover and vaguely recognized the title. "I guess I do." I shrugged out, before running my hands through my hair once more.
"This is insane... this is... oh my goodness. I can't believe I'm holding this." Bella held the book closer to her chest and nearly pressed it into her sweater.
I tugged her hand closer to me and she involuntarily stepped forward. I loved seeing her in such an excited state of shock. I reached over her ear and whispered gently, "It's yours."
The look on her face was in complete shock as she pulled away from me. She looked at me like I just told her we were about to fly to the moon, and it was something I wouldn't want to miss again.
"Are you crazy? This book is worth more than any amount of money I've ever made in my life! It's a novelty, probably should be in a museum!!" Bella rushed out, before trying to hand the book over to me. "Has anyone ever tried to rob you? They'd make fortunes off that book!"
I thought over her words and debated on telling her that the book is maybe one of the least valuable things I own in my house, but the way she clenched onto that book had me thinking otherwise.
I gave a deep laugh at her question, "I'd love to see them try to break in here." I laughed and pushed her closer to me once again. I took in her warm vanilla perfume in my nose and felt captivated by her. I reached over and twirled a piece of her delicate hair in between my fingers.
"I'm not taking this book... I can't." Bella claimed, before pressing the book against my chest.
The proximity had me overanalyzing every eyelash and freckle that danced across her face. She was intoxicating and she had no clue.
"I insist," I whispered once more, and watched her blush turn a crimson red color.
Bella looked down over the book once more and brushed her fingers over the hardcover book. My eyes kept steady on those plump lips of hers. The only thoughts that kept racing in the contents of my mind were,
Kiss her and watch my world crumble.
___________
Read ahead 5+ chapters on my patreon: www.patreon.com/iwasalone