I walked down the steps of the bus and squeaked across the damp floor of the crisp early morning. I inhale deeply as I try to forget all that Brendon just told me in there, but it's no use. He almost slept with Ryan. He lied to me about seeing Ryan. And obviously he forgot about me for a second, what we have (or had), and what pain I'm right now. Who the hell do I even blame? Brendon for all this shit? Ryan for starting it? Or me for letting it happen?
Just when my life was seeing daylight, it all turns dark again. It was going to so well, but now it's gone to hell again. Why am I always so miserable, I give it my all, I conquer my dreams and get repaid with no one liking me. I mean if Brendon were to go this far, he honestly doesn't give a fuck about me. He doesn't care.
He doesn't love me.
Just thinking of those words in my head causes me to choke up and tears to roll down my cheeks.
He's hurt me so bad, and doesn't even know it.
I lean on a brick wall behind a small bar that's still in business and slide down. I dig my head in my knees and begin to hiccup my breaths as I can't stop crying. I don't want this to be over, but I just don't know how we can continue.
I can't let this just slide, I need to take action.
I think to myself.
I want to kick Ryan's ass. I want to hurt him as much as he hurt me. I've concluded that this- this is his fault. He took the only good part of my life and wasted it, took advantage of what we had. But I don't want to make this worse. It's already horrible situation, I need to be the man of us three. One who's proper and civilized and can settle this like a gentleman. I shall write him a strongly worded letter.
I walk inside the almost empty bar and walk up to the bartender. I really don't like these places, why does everyone need to wash away their memories? The only way to overcome them is by facing them. Anyways, I ask for a pen and a piece of paper (he gives me a napkin) and I begin to write.
Dear Mr. Ryan Ross,
So it has come to my attention that you 'almost' slept with my boyfriend, and that has made me incredibly angry and hurt. Please do not go near my Brendon again. You've had your chance and you blew it. Don't hurt him again, you know he has a weakness for you. So please it would be best if you just stayed out of both of our lives. And I swear, if you lay another finger on my Brendon, you're getting your ass kicked severly, you fucker. You're so lucky this is a letter and I'm not over there right now because you can bet your skinny little white ass I will beat the living shit out of you if I hear your name again.
Warm Regards,
Dallon Weekes
I needed a few napkins.
Since I figured that the two were in here a couple hours before, I asked the bartender about Ryan and he pointed me to his apartment complex. I swiftly walked to the building trying to get to sleep before the sun comes up, I open the heavy complex doors and give the lobby man the set of napkins with a gentle smile and a nod. I walk back to the tour bus feeling shitty still, but glad that I handled this somewhat better than a meat head idiot.
{Yeah sorry this was kind of a shitty chapter}