Waking up was difficult. Opening your eyes was extremely hard for example, swollen from the extended heavy crying and mourning of your wasted chances. But there were two other people lying in your bed, cuddled together in the search for comfort and closeness and Hime was like always snoring, even when she claimed beforehand that she fixed that habit.
She lied, obviously.
Unlike the big child she portrayed to the world, Azari had taken the right side of the bed, while Hime was spread out on the right. They insisted to stay when all you wanted was to cry a little bit more in the safety of your bed, preventing you from dwelling in your self-misery.
You had a monstrous headache, a blocked nose, your whole face felt swollen to the point of uncomfortably stretching over your bones. Nevertheless a little smile flashed over your face as the warmth of your friends assured you.
They didn't hate you for what you did. They wouldn't abandon you over this, even felt sorry for you that you failed so miserably on keeping your emotions in check. Sure, there were things you still had to clear up, but all in all everything looked better than a few hours before.
Suddenly there was a hand over your eyes, gently stroking down over your nose and lips, trying to soothe you. "Ssh," Azari mumbled, "don't think so loud. I try to sleep here."
"Can't help it," you mumbled back, muffled by the hand lying over your mouth, "it's in my nature."
"Then it's in my nature to remind you I'm a night owl. Don't disturb my sleep before noon."
"Sorry."
"Hm." Azari grumped wordlessly and threw another miffed glance through bleary eyes at you, before closing them again with a blissful sigh.
The danger of Hime waking up from her slumber was minimal, so climbing over her sprawled form was easier than risking Azari completely waking up and being grumpy over the whole day. And indeed the blonde didn't acknowledge your scrambling and careful rearranging of her limbs in the slightest. Peacefully she continued to snore slightly, her lips parted and showing off the crook between her front teeth.
On the way out, you threw one last glance over your shoulder and just in time watched how Azari raised her hand to arrange the blankets covering Hime anew, not satisfied with the tiny wrinkles your movements created.
What a sweet gesture. Caring about her so much... And yet, she sees no hope for herself... What makes the gesture bitter and hollow.
With a sudden dry throat, you sneaked into your dark kitchen and tried to be as silent as possible while preparing coffee and tea. Though the clanking of the porcelain must be disturbing enough for the black haired woman, who stumbled ten minutes into your preparations into the kitchen, on bare feet, a mesh shirt and too short leggings. Azari yawned widely, then scratched with slow fingers her head. "Are you making coffee?" she groaned lowly and unfocused eyes hushed around the room, not fixating on anything and squinting at the faint sunlight falling through the kitchen window.
As an answer you hummed and raised one of the cups you were just about to fill with the dark ambrosia.
"Wonderful." In your behind the screech of wood over tiles echoed in the kitchen, telling you your friend sank ungracefully into the chair. Finishing the coffee, you settled one cup right in front of the raven and tugged your own cup closer, all the while Azari dully stared into the depths of the porcelain. Then, after more minutes of empty staring, she finally took a sip and sighed contently out.
"You still remember how I like my coffee?" she asked weakly.
"Three sugar and only a hint of milk." you answered.
"Do you have a cheat sheet around here? I swear, that answer came way too fast."
"Nope. Everything is saved up here." Mockingly you pointed at your temple.
Azari snorted into her cup. "As always. You always took the academy lessons way too seriously. What was the rule again?"
"Rule Number 78. Always expect the best, be prepared for the worst."
"See?" With a heavy sigh the raven settled the half-empty porcelain on the table. "Can't you imagine I was jealous of that diligence of yours?"
Confused you blinked, your cup pressed to your nose and lips. Slowly you lowered your hand, still not really catching what your friend just spilled so easily, like it was no big deal.
Azari... had been jealous of you at some point in her life? Because you could remember the boring ninja rules which were such a dated relict of the old days that they should be reworked in some way?
"But... But why? There's nothing remotely impressive about remembering-!"
"Don't you understand? I'm jealous because you're incredibly smart! And when we were children I was looking forward to be on the same genin team as you, because this intelligence would've helped us! Sure, Hime is smart in her own right, but you... Remember the stupid strategy exercise we had to do during school?"
Slightly confused you tried to concentrate. The raven was hopping from topic to topic without any real order, jumping around like a crazy rabbit. "You mean," you said sluggishly, "the hypothetical invading of an enemy base?"
Azari chuckled. "Exactly. All the others immediately went to work after the teacher gave us the barest hints of information, Hime and me too. But you sat rather stubbornly in your chair and when the teacher asked if you didn't understand something, you just went up to him and exclaimed that he should stop screwing with the class and give us the whole information, because that couldn't be all to the case."
"Oh. That..." You remembered faintly the exercise the raven was talking about. "Wasn't he first totally deadpanned, then started to laugh wildly?"
"Yeah and you were so angry. In your thin childish voice you demanded the information about the strength of the enemy forces, the history of the fortress, already recorded attacks and the strength of your own troops. And before the teacher could say anything, you stated that, yes, even the number of your own shinobi needed to be considered, because it mattered if you had only three people or three battalions at your disposal."
Your cheeks flared up at the memory. "Right. And he just continued to laugh."
"The end was that you just started to blurt out different approaches to the task, until the teach gave up and gave you an 'A'. While we still had to do the exercise, without using your solutions of course, you were allowed to work at a more complicated matter."
"And I was still finished before all of you." you mumbled.
"Probably our teacher was even more despaired than you when your body wouldn't keep up with the lessons. He really saw a future for you as a shinobi."
"He didn't show it though." With a sigh you sipped one last time at your coffee, then leaned backwards and barely managed to place the cup in the sink. "Cold as ice when he announced it to the whole class."
Azari shrugged. "He was dejected. You were his number one student. Diligent, nice, eager to learn... To hear you wouldn't be able to continue your studies angered him."
"How do you know about those things Azari?" Leaning back into your chair, you watched the raven fiddle with the fabric of her mesh shirt. The metallic clank of the single pieces clinking together were disturbing only slightly the silence.
Then, after a whole eternity, the woman sighed heavily out. "Maybe or maybe not I asked him a few days after you left and holed yourself up. I was curious why he was grumpy after a week and snarled at us for messing up the clone jutsu, so he dragged me aside and told what was on his mind."
All those years. All those years of dwelling in your insecurities and asking yourself if you ever had any talent beside the diligence and overall calmness and Azari just splattered all her thoughts all over the table like it didn't mean a little world to you. Unbelievable. Tiredly you dragged your palms over your lower face, not able to decide if you should give in to the urge to laugh lowly or to cry out in relief. In the end, you settled for a slow nod, accompanied by a shaky inhale. "Okay. Thanks for telling me."
For the first time in years you had the feeling you and Azari were speaking face to face, truly, without the usual feeling of insecurity lurking in the back of your mind. Freed of your shackles, so to speak. But there was one more thing which you were curious about.
"So," you crossed your arms over your chest, "you have a thing for Hime, eh?"
The effect came immediately. Azari blushed, blood wandering up from her neck to her hairline, coloring her usually snow-like skin into a bright tomato-red. "Huh? Well, it's a bit more complicated than... It's not really... But... yeah, some-somehow?"
"Okay."
"Alright."
Embarrassed silence. You waited for more information, but Azari denied you any of it. Stubbornly she stared at the wooden table, tracing with her index fingers the incarnate lines and scars the old furniture had to bear after years of dutiful service.
Your heavy sigh startled the raven. "Since when?" you asked weakly, always listening to faint steps or yawns coming from your bedroom.
Azari answer was rushed, maybe years of keeping this secret to herself finally getting released. "Childhood. But I only got aware when we became teens and you know... When the boys went after her."
Instantly melancholy bubbled up. "Oh dear..." Since their childhood? Since so many years? "And why do you went on dates with other people?"
Agitated Azari snorted. "Because I tried to forget, (Y/N). Because I tried to forget Hime wants to have a family on her own, children and such, because I wanted to forget she will never see me that way, because I know she's straight while I sway every time when she only smiles at me." Despaired the raven shook her head, her black unruly locks ruffling and flying around. "I wanted to forget. Just... a simple black hole where I can fall in while I listen to egoistic men talk about their own days and never asking how mine was, entitled idiots who can only tell stupid jokes. I even tried to date a woman at some point, but guess what?" She laughed bitterly. "Even she was boring in comparison to Hime."
"Fuck."
"Yeah," she sighed and went slack on her chair, "indeed a simple cluster-fuck."
"Are you planning to ever tell her?"
"Like you will tell Iruka about your feelings?"
"Touché."
"By the way," the raven gestured to your shoulders, "why are you wearing a chunin vest?"
"Huh?" Surprised your eyes zoned on your shoulders, where really the well-known green fabric of a Konoha ninja vest was located. So that was the reason you felt so calm, it was Iruka's scent trailing into your nostrils and letting you relax even over such a highly strained topic. Unconsciously you must've picked the vest up on the way to your kitchen, the fresh morning air of spring crawling into your flat. Dully you watched how your hand rose to absent-mindedly tug at the different pouches, feeling the small scrolls in them and the nick-nacks of a shinobi clanking together. One or two astray kunai and shuriken, surprisingly many forgotten crumbs of chalk, two spare hair ties in case the one which he was using would snap suddenly... Things Iruka probably needed someday.
When you realized what that meant, you paled and the world started to spin around you.
Fuck. I have to return the vest. I have to wash and return the vest to Iruka and properly apologize to him.
"(Y/N)? Hey, don't faint." Azari looked worriedly at you, her eyes widened in concern. "You paled suddenly like a ghost went right straight through you."
"I-I-I-I have to re-return that vest to Iruka..." you stammered, the words only a thread away from becoming a whisper.
A soft whistle escaped your friend. "Ooooh. Well, that's going to be interesting."
"What do you mean?" you screeched. "Interesting? Fuck that shit! I don't want to face Iruka like ever again! Not after yesterday!"
Azari clicked her tongue. "You think yesterday was a mess? Try to imagine masturbating to the picture of your best friend and having to face her right afterwards with the smell of your own cunt still clinging to your fingers. That is embarrassing."
And the old Azari was back. Not even bothering with censoring her words, just straight out telling what was on her mind. So it wasn't a surprise that your eyebrows climbed higher and higher at her brash exclamation, all the while you asked yourself if Azari would ever say that so directly to Hime. A funny imagination.
"Nice," that was everything you actually could say to that particular confession, "and very descriptive. I can nearly see it before my inner eye."
A growl escaped the raven, but it wasn't ill-natured. Instead she wagged her index finger at you, trying to scold you like a bad-mannered dog. "Quit your sarcasm, you meanie. That's a true story, you know?"
"I can imagine. Quite vividly."
"Hey! I said, quit it!"
You smiled weakly at Azari's attics, but still dreaded the meeting with the brunet teacher more than anything. Sure, you tried to play your nervousness off with snarky comments, but on the inside your stomach trembled. There was a stone rolling around in your guts, making you sick and nearly regretting the hastily drunk coffee, but you swallowed the rising lump of bile and suppressing the almighty urge to spit out.
Oh god, you thought faintly while you listened further to Azari's rantings, I certainly don't want to face Iruka. But I have to, if not for the explanation he deserves, then for the vest he gave me after Naruto's prank. He was always really kind to me and he isn't at fault that I fell in love with him.
I'm at fault.
(...)
Between providing Azari with a steady coffee consumption and cooking the three of you a proper breakfast, you nearly forgot about the task you had to complete. Washing Iruka's vest chased the typical sweet and spicy smell away and you slightly detested the fabric for losing the heavenly scent so quickly. But then, in the late evening when the vest was dry, you couldn't put off the confrontation any longer, not when it was such a good time to face Iruka. He would be home, hopefully calm and also hopefully able to take in your explanation without any need for further words.
If he looks closer, he just has to notice. Please, don't let him look too close.
But then a problem occurred to you, just when you were about to leave your flat, cladded into the blouse you wore to your fake-date with the teacher and a skinny jeans Azari lend yet again to you. Iruka's vest was safely packed up in a bag slung over your shoulder, but...
You had no idea where you had to go. Not once Iruka mentioned where he lived, not once he even dropped a little hint about his home. So you were either left to wander around Konoha until you would stumble over him or ask someone directly.
Naruto. Naruto had to know. And you knew where the small blond sunshine lived.
But only after a shaky breath in you managed to pull yourself together and start your road to redemption, all the while trying to calm yourself down without constantly bringing the washed vest to your nose and sniffing at it like a lovesick dog. Unluckily none of the things worked, so when you knocked at Naruto's door, the carefully arranged vest was again crumpled and messy, tugged apart by your nimble fingers.
Anxiously you waited. From inside the flat you could catch different kind of noises, the rustling of a water cooker, a childish voice murmuring to himself, ruffling and shuffling, then the door opened suddenly.
"Onee-san!" Naruto looked just as disheveled as you felt. His shirt was inside-out, there was dirt all over his face, a leave was stuck in his spiky tufts and he had another black bruise circling his right eye. Enough to tell you he brawled again, maybe not too long ago. But his blinding smile was nearly covering everything else, so you tried to smile just as passionate as he did.
"Hey Naruto. How are you?"
The blonde continued to grin cheekily, though his grin dropped the tiniest bit. "Peachy Onee-san, just peachy, believe it! Come in, I made ramen if you like to have some!"
"No Naruto," you couldn't help but to ruffle shortly through the blond mane, "I'm searching for Iruka. Do you know where he lives? I have to give him something."
Instantly his cheerful smile fell down, getting replaced by a distrusting pout. "Why?" he asked, "What do you have to give him back?"
You raised the bag with Iruka's vest into his sight. "Because I was cold, Iruka was so nice to lend me his chunin vest."
"Iruka-sensei was grumpy today."
"Huh?"
Naruto clicked his tongue, a strange adult-like sign of annoyance for a bright child like him. "Iruka-sensei was grumpy today," he accentuated, "and mean. He let us repeat all the shinobi rules without letting us sneak a peek at them beforehand, even when he let's us usually do so, because there's no way we can remember all of them, right? Naturally," his pout turned into a just as cute scowl, "the teme managed to recite all of them without a problem, the bastard. Also Sakura-chan did too!" In his blue eyes sparkled a certain unmistakable glimmer. "Like always she did amazing! She's so smart and beautiful and her forehead is really cute and-!"
"Naruto." Snapping your fingers before his dazed eyes, you tried to gain his attention. "Come back. I need to know where Iruka-sensei lives."
"Oh. Right." Naruto shook his head and scratched his scarred cheek. "I followed him once to the chunin barracks in the northern district. His hut cannot be missed, it has his name on the door and dark curtains before his window, it's more on the outer edge of the district. Then there's also-!"
With a heavy sigh you slumped together. Right, Naruto wasn't the best in his explanations. He was more the kind to learn by doing things and that inflicted also his ability to explain for example directions. Tiredly you closed your eyes while the boy continued his ramble, about this and that, about the ramen he had this evening (completely strayed off of the original topic) about the pranks he and Kiba planned for the next week, about the "mega-special-transformation-jutsu" he was working on...
"Naruto. I need to give Iruka this back, today most favorably. He needs this, so please. Can you show me where he lives?"
"Are going to make him happy?"
You choked at the choice of words. Making Iruka happy? You would love to, but... Would he even allow you a chance after all the things you did? After all the things you made him do, for your sake and for yours alone?
"I will try," you brought out, "I will try to make him happy."
Naruto huffed weakly. "Then do so. Whenever he thought we weren't looking, he stared out of the window, this special wishy-washy sad expression on his face. He clearly misses you Onee-san. Can you please make him smile again?"
"I will try." you repeated weakly. But even now you didn't dare to make a binding promise to the blond, too nervous and with all this chaos going on feeling too uncomfortable currently. You just wanted to drop off the vest, nothing else. Just the vest.
For some more long moments, Naruto stared at you, his eyebrows dramatically drawn together and the same pout on his face he used whenever he wasn't truly satisfied. Then he lightened up and the thumbs-up he gave you was even more exaggerated than ever before. "Sure thing Onee-san! Man, he will be so excited to see you!"
Hopefully you're right Naruto. Hopefully you're right.
The way to Iruka's home was filled with the child's joyful blabber about the day and you were more than willing to drown out the guilt and shame with the typical Naruto-rant. You listened half-heartedly, grunted in understanding or brought a weak "Oh no," out whenever the blond complained about his beloved rival Sasuke, but Iruka's vest was still dragged into the process of calming down, the closer you two wandered to the chunin barracks. Accidently you even nipped your fingertips at the sharp edges of a shuriken, what you quitted with a silent hiss and a band-aid quickly applied to the cut.
"Here we are!"
Startled you looked around. Naruto was standing before a normal flat hut, his chest proudly puffed out and staring at you like an overeager dog awaiting a treat. The flat itself was nothing special. A one-room-apartment, nothing more. Small, even more cramped than yours from the outside look of it and the dark curtains the blond had talked about were drawn close.
If not for the small name tag with the name "Umino" printed on hanging in the middle of the door, you would've never guessed Iruka would live here.
"Thank you Naruto," you smiled at him before crouching down to his eye level, "but I think I have to do this alone."
His blue eyes widened. "Like a ninja mission?"
You nodded. "Like a super-secret ninja mission. Just me and Iruka, having a nice talk."
"Are you going to argue?"
"Hopefully not."
"Are you going to make up?"
"I really hope so."
"Are you going to kiss?"
"Naruto!"
Cheekily the blond devil snickered, before sticking his tongue out. "I'm not stupid, Onee-san! I can see what is going on here, believe it!" Then he was gone in a cloud of dust and dirt, his wild laughter hanging in the air and leaving you red-faced and strangely happy.
Nice. Okay, there will never be the perfect moment. Right now you're relatively calm, confident and assured. So go on, knock. It's not that hard.
Still your hand was shaking slightly as you raised the limb towards the wooden barrier. Hesitating for a second, you knocked twice, hoping the brunet wasn't sleeping at the moment. That would be embarrassing, disturbing the poor teacher in his attempt for some sleep.
Is he sleeping naked? Oh my gosh, I can definitely see that.
You blushed fiercely. Where did that come from? Angrily you shook your head, but then you heard steps from the inside of the small barrack. You didn't even had time to become panicked before Iruka opened. Thankfully he wasn't naked, the man only lost his chunin vest, sandals, forehead protector and the bandages around his ankles, and nevertheless the blush stubbornly remained in your face.
You tried to smile, but you could feel the muscles in your cheeks protesting at the happy motion. "Hey."
Iruka's attempt at a smile was just as pitiful. "Hello."
"I wanted... I wanted to bring your vest back."
In his eyes stood the clear confusion, but when you raised the bag slightly, the man's mouth opened in silent understanding. "You didn't need to do that."
"But I wanted to. And... I have the feeling I owe you an explanation after yesterday."
"Okay. I would like to hear yours."
Iruka invited you in, all the while his gentle smile let your guard melt like butter under the summer sun. God, could he stop to be this unbearable nice and friendly? Could he stop to look this good in his ordinary uniform, the hair pulled in his high pony tail and the scar over his nose crinkling in his obvious amusement?
Come on, concentrate.
As you had guessed, it was a one-room-flat, cramped and maybe only a little less overflown by books than your own apartment. No dirty clothes lying around, even the small kitchen corner was spotless and when you spotted different childish paintings, drawn with wild, exaggerated movements and an obvious love for the most hideous shade of orange you had ever seen, you knew who was willing to decorate Iruka's small space like this. A comfortable looking armchair, a fitting small footrest and a pile of tests sitting on a nearby table told you Iruka had been in the middle of correcting said tests, red pen ready to either remove points or add a nice comment whenever a struggling student managed to gain a point.
"Do you want something to drink?" the brunet asked, already stepping into the tiled part of the room. His nimble hands fiddled shortly with a water cooker, then he threw a quick glance over his shoulder. "Oh, excuse me. Please, have a seat."
"Thank you," you said and settled into an old chair close to the kitchen area, "and yes. Some tea would be nice."
"I only have green tea, I'm afraid."
"That's fine with me."
Quickly you arranged the bag to your feet and cursed at yourself for messing the perfectly folded vest up with your nervous ticks. So you prayed shortly Iruka wouldn't notice and tugged the green fabric into light, straightening some little wrinkles out before placing the vest on the table in front of you. "And thanks for the vest. I completely forgot about it, I'm sorry."
His warm chuckle vibrated through the room. "No problem (Y/N). It was... a special circumstance."
And what a special circumstance. Remembering the situation, your half-naked state and the phenomenal kiss following (quit lying to yourself, it was an official make-out-session!) didn't help your strained nerves, so the chocked snort escaping your mouth wasn't surprising.
Iruka joined into the laugh with a pleasant rumble. "Okay, I know. I know that that was an understatement."
"Yeah. Quite an understatement. Did you ever get through Naruto why he pulled that special prank?"
Strangely Iruka didn't answer your question. Instead you watched with growing suspicion how his neck grew red, all the while the brunet tried to appear busy with preparing the tea cups with deliberate movements. The special attention he gave the tea bags and how he bound the straps twice around the porcelain handles was extremely cute.
"Iruka?" A tiny bit aggravated, you moved out of the chair and walked over to his position. "Did you hear me?"
"Uuh-hu."
"Was that a yes or a no?"
"Yes. I heard you."
"Then why aren't you answering?"
Iruka sighed heavily. His shoulders slumped down in defeat, then he turned around, his brown eyes nearly swimming in guilt. "Naruto pulled that stunt because he wanted to hook us up."
Now it was your turn to fall silent. What? Naruto tried... To hook Iruka and you... up? Like in, he wanted to create an intimate atmosphere by forcing you to remove your clothing and sending Iruka to the rescue, hoping it would lead to... a confession?
When you came to that particular realization, you simply saw red. Growling lowly, you shook your head in badly hidden anger. That little punk had wanted to force you into something, into confessing, into spitting your feelings into Iruka's face and getting rejected just as fast!
Suddenly there were warm big hands on your upper arms, steadying your trembling form and a soft voice soothing your raging emotions. "(Y/N). Hey. Don't look like you want to beat him up. I believe I have to apologize on his behalf."
"Yeah?" you growled.
Iruka nibbled at his lower lip and you were proud your eyes only shortly fell upon the plump flesh before returning to his friendly eyes. "I'm at fault, not Naruto. So yes, I have to apologize on his behalf. I'm sorry for pushing him to believe he had to do something."
"Why? Why you should be at fault, why are you blaming yourself?"
A short flash of a shadow hushed over his features, before Iruka let go of your arms with enough despair reeking off him to soften even the hardest of hearts, especially yours. "I'm sorry. I should've told you from the very start. I... I was always... Even before we started to see each other, I was... always looking at you."
"Yes, I know. You were a regular at the bookstore and you were always directly talking to me. I always thought of you highly because of that."
Frustrated the man clicked his tongue. "No! That's not what I wanted to say! I meant it in a different kind of way, more... Less friendly. I wanted to talk with you, wanted to see the dreamy smile you have on your face when you worked in the bookstore," finally Iruka looked into your eyes and a pained smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, "I just... wanted to hear about your day and the different struggles you had, I wanted to listen to your rants and make my home comfortable for you, so you could come over whenever you wanted to relax and..."
Yet again you shook your head, out of confusion this time. Utter confusion, simple and paralyzing your tongue. "What..." you mumbled, but then Iruka continued to ramble. Apparently a knot exploded and broke down a wall you didn't know existed.
"And I want to be that still for you, if you allow me to, but I also know that this whole thing was just a prank in your regard, nothing more, so I will settle for being a mere friend, because I screwed up there, but from the very beginning it wasn't, at least not for me. I wanted those things, I craved for them and you don't know how much I had to restrain myself from blurting my feelings out the very moment you lost your glasses in front of me or when we went to our date, before and after we kissed, when you stood up to your boss or simply when you helped me out in the academy..."
This isn't... This can't be true. I mean, from the very start? From the very first day, Iruka was...
"Iruka, I-!"
Desperate the man flinched away, sorrow and regret oozing from his body. "I'm sorry (Y/N). I'm really sorry for suddenly spurting that out, I don't know what's driven me there." An absolutely adorable sniffle, then Iruka threw a crooked, pained grin at you, his eyes closed and denying you any form of eye contact. "Just pretend it didn't happen, alright? Thank you very much for bringing me back my vest, it actually needed my spare hair ties a few days ago-!"
"Can you stop," you interrupted, "can you stop for one goddamn second Iruka?"
The man fell immediately silent. In his behind the water cooker whistled unnervingly loud, so you leaned past him and eagerly removed the cable, before straightening again and trying to wrap your wildly spinning head around the idea of Iruka... liking you back. With every breath your heart jumped into your throat, with every drum of your heart your swore the temperature inside the room rose and with the increase of temperature you remembered how close you two stood, chests nearly touching and lips only parted by a few inches. On instinct you licked your lips, letting a shaky exhale follow, then you grabbed every singly ounce of courage you had.
"Close your eyes."
The man wanted to ask, but you only raised your hand. "No. Just... Just do it, please." you said.
Hesitantly Iruka complied. For a moment you admired his relaxed face, then you stopped to think entirely. Your thoughts wouldn't help here, except maybe the naughty and perverted ones.
Your first kiss was directed at his forehead. You had to stand on your toes to do so, pressing your lips to the middle of his forehead and straightening the wrinkles of worry. Iruka breathed softly out as he felt the contact, his breath brushing over the bridge of your nose. He was so tensed up, so stressed out from his brave confession, you just wanted to ease his mind. That was everything he ever did for you, so you wanted to give him back something.
"Iruka," you whispered and moved lower to kiss the light scar, "Don't worry any longer." Another light kiss, then you grabbed softly his hands. Weakly he followed your movements, palms sliding together and fingers bumping into each other, then they properly entangled like you two had never done anything else but this.
You let more kisses follow, shy butterfly kisses to his cheekbones, more confident ones pressed to the corners of his mouth, barely touching the lips, but retreating at the last possible moment and nibbled ones to Iruka's jaw, where you felt the first signs of stubble grow.
"(Y/N)..." Iruka murmured, his voice shaking terribly. His hands were squeezing yours tightly, not daring to tug you closer, maybe still scared of rejection. So you pressed yourself with a content sigh against the teacher, enjoying the muscles rippling in barely concealed eagerness against yourself and finally really kissed Iruka.
You didn't know why, but this kiss felt a hundred times better than the one in the classroom.
More real, hotter, truer than everything else. You moaned lowly when Iruka stayed soft and compliant and arranged his arms around your waist. Only satisfied when he was properly hugging you close, you huffed contently and splayed your own hands over his cheeks, handling the man like a delicate figurine.
The fact that he allowed you to lead him made you feel cherished, valued and important, something no one ever managed to make you feel. So you lead the kiss, your tongue lazily trailing his and coaxing him to life, while Iruka trembled and moaned, his knees buckling against yours, but keeping up with your selfish demands until you drew back, breathing hard and chasing Iruka's special scent in the nape of his neck.
"Iruka. I also feel the way you do," you said, "I also feel the same things you feel. I..." You swallowed a lump of bile down. "That's part of the reason why I cut things off yesterday. I... I felt like I betrayed you by falling for you and I got fed up by my own lies, to myself and in front of you that I just couldn't stand it anymore. I'm sorry for making you do those things, I truly am."
"Ssh." His soothing, low voice made you nearly sob in the sheer mighty relief flooding through your guts and bones. "Ssh. It's okay. Everything's alright."
"No, it's not," you mumbled and buried your face deeper in his neck, "it's not okay. I was attracted to you, but told myself I wouldn't fall for you, no matter what. And when it happened, I lied and lied and lied, until I got confronted with my feelings directly. I believed you would never fall for me, because I am the person I am, but apparently I was wrong and that makes me... So unbelievable happy, Iruka. So fucking happy."
"There's my (Y/N). Swearing like an old fishermen's woman."
Giggling weakly, you poked his sides. "Hey, I'm serious here."
Suddenly Iruka forced you to look up by placing an index finger underneath your chin and raising your head like that, a joyful glint in his eyes, which danced all over your face like he couldn't decide where to settle on. "And I'm serious when I tell you that I love you just the way you are." he said warmly and drew little circles on your lips.
You gasped out when you felt the caress and the blush forcing its way on your face was the mightiest you ever had. From your head to your toes you felt your blood rushing loudly in your veins, thrumming with every stroke the thumb fulfilled.
"I love you too Iruka." you brought out, feeling flustered at saying those words for the first time.
But when you saw the excited sparkle in Iruka's face, you instantly decided to see that special expression more often, especially when it was followed by the silent plea to stay the night and gentle hands sliding underneath your clothes, getting cheekier and cheekier until you pushed them off with an exaggerated sigh.
One miffed look, what Iruka countered with a little wink. You huffed lowly and rolled your eyes, but the smile growing on your face was answering his question.
Not tonight.
But you will stay and cuddle with me?
Fine. Because it's you.
Triumphantly Iruka snuggled closer, chuckling lowly when you weakly pinched his sides again.