*some mild maturity* *read author's note*
"What?" I anxiously slapped my hand against my neck, protectively defending it as Nick insisted to look. I had to remove my hand knowing it wouldn't make my innocence look good if I was refusing to show my husband. Nick's brows furrowed as I anticipated to what he'd say. Was he going to catch me out? Was my game up? Would I have to come clean? Maybe, it was for the best.
"Is that a hickey? Two hickies," he said, brushing his fingers over the other side of my neck. I naturally flinched as I nervously chuckled. "Babe," I began, as I stepped back. "You did them the other night when we slept together," I stated, not knowing how else I could convince Nick that the two marks weren't evidence of my extramarital relations with Shane.
"What? I did them," he muttered, resting his left hand on his waist as he continued to look at my neck, baffled. I felt exposed as I attempted another series of anxious laughter. "Yes. Babe, you had been drinking when you went to the pub that night. You stunk of alcohol. Don't you remember?" I hinted at, remembering and using the other night to my advantage. Nick had been a little tipsy if anything, and with the gear of passion driving him, he could have slipped a hickey or two on my neck without realising. Even if he was sober. It was possible.
"Oh." I wasn't sure if that meant he was fully persuaded. It could have been a 'oh' that meant he hadn't realised or a 'oh' that could have meant the total opposite and Nick was growing more suspicious of it. I held my breath. Maybe, I just needed to come clean. Really, this time. I should prepare myself to start explaining. Tell him exactly how it all started. Maybe, Nick would hear me out or he could just completely brush me aside, yell and throw me out.
Then he startled me as he chuckled deeply. "Well, aren't I a dark horse? Sorry, hun. I mean, do I need to be sorry?" His brows raising as he ran his right hand through his hair.
I shook my head, inside exhaling with relief. "Of course, not. I just need to conceal them if we go out. I don't exactly want to have people staring at them though. I thought you knew or at least remembered," I said, thankful Nick believed me and wasn't doubting the false accusation of his lips being the ones that caused the marks to form on my neck. "You were all over me," I added, indirectly referring to Shane. He was the one who was all over me, not Nick.
Nick held a crooked smile as he embraced me into his arms. "How can I resist you?" He kissed my cheek before letting me go. "I better head off to work before I decide to take you back up those stairs. Hm? Wouldn't that be much more appealing than w---"
"----And you've got to go to work. So, get going, Nick Stanton," I interrupted him, nudging him a little as I followed him towards the front door.
"I love it when you lecture my ass. You're so sexy when you get all Miss Bossy with me," he declared as I rolled my eyes playfully.
"You can tell me more about that later. Now, go. You don't want to be late and I need to get some words down onto paper before Pete turns up next week wanting to know why my manuscript is unfinished. And I'll just have to blame you for that, won't I?" I said, waving him off as he climbed into the driver's side of the red SUV. He blew me a kiss from the other side of the window screen before starting the engine and reversing into the road and heading off.
And just like that. I had managed to safely steer Nick from the truth. At least, I didn't need to worry if I forgot to conceal those hickies again, but it also acted as my reminder of how close I was to revealing the affair. I needed to be more careful than I currently had been, knowing I could have easily nearly given it all away.
As simple as that.
***
Wednesday had flew into appearance rapidly, meaning Nick was heading off to the conference meetings down south and the prospect of spending more time with Shane was possible. I hastily ignored that thought as Nick returned into the bedroom holding a pair of grey, clean socks within his right hand. He was packing until Friday and I was helping, shamefully helping him pack, aware that he would be as far as away from our home. Far away from my cheating. I was trying my hardest to barricade those badgering thoughts as I folded his shirts neatly and tucked them into the corner of the mini suitcase.
Nick smiled sweetly. "Thank you for helping me, love. So, what's your plans for the rest of the week? Are you going to splurge all out on takeaways cheekily? Is that what you do when I'm away?"
I swallowed. "Pass me your socks," I asked, disregarding his comment as I took them from his hands. "I'll just be writing as much as I can and maybe I'll go out with Angie. She'll need the break. So, I'm not sure yet," I decided to add swiftly knowing my distant behaviour could raise suspicion. It's not like I should be behaving like this. Even if I was starting to feel less romantically attracted to Nick, I still loved him as a friend would love a friend. He still meant a lot to me. Was I really not in love with Nick?
I sighed gently. Nick noticed and frowned softly, coming to my side immediately as he said. "What's up love?"
"I-I," I exhaled, turning into him and wrapping my arms around his neck, "I'm just going to miss you, that's all," I lied feeling my ribcage tighten.
"Honey, I'm only away until Friday. But I can tell them---"
"---No," I ceased his words, hugging him tighter. "I'm okay. I just love you so much, Nick. You know, that right? I love you, always." And I meant that. Even if I wasn't sure if I was in love with him. I still loved him. And I hated myself for how I was hurting him without him knowing.
Nick chuckled lightly. I could feel his laughter vibrating across his torso against me. "Babe, I know that. I love you too. Is everything okay?" Sounding genuinely concerned throughout his tone. He pulled me back as his hands clasped my chin and the pad of his thumbs caressed my cheeks comfortingly.
I sniffled, suddenly aware of a tear falling from my left eye. I forced a weak smile on my lips. "Yes, it's...just you're so good to me. I don't understand it, sometimes."
"Rose, what are you going on about? Why wouldn't I be? I love you, remember? I'd do anything for you. Are you sure everything is okay?" he insisted, the quizzical expression he held deepening at my strange behaviour. I nodded, wiping the tear with my finger.
"Yes, I'm fine. I'm just being silly. It's just...I love you a lot. And, sometimes it gets to me. It makes me realise how long we've been together and all, a-and I just get emotional at the thought of it. That's all," I replied, smiling as I squeezed his hands in mine. "Honestly."
Nick smirked, shaking his head before he kissed the top of my head. "What would I do without you?"
So, much more, I thought. You deserve so much more than me. Someone who wouldn't cheat. Who wouldn't feel that they would have to question their love for you. That's what you deserve. Not me. I'm not who you deserve. I'm a wicked woman, a snake in the long grass slithering, and deceiving you slyly. That's what I am.
When I had waved Nick off from the threshold of the front door, I broke down instantly as I closed the door. I was such a horrible person. Why was I doing this? What had I done? I had cried my heart out, slamming my fists onto the walls, enough to disturb the peace but not enough to puncture a hole into its solid structure. Tears had meandered down my cheeks as I had collapsed to the floor. I didn't have the energy to move. I felt like a complete mess, undeserving of love. The loyalty, the love had been destroyed because of me. My marriage was hanging on a thread and Nick doesn't even know.
There was a series of knocks from the door. But I remained where I was sobbing. "Rose! You in there! What's going on? I'm coming in!" The door opened inwards and I sat up, and within a split second I had my arms wrapped around Shane's neck as he attempted to soothe me. His broad frame enveloped me, his hands rubbing my back as he eased me with comforting words.
"It's okay. I'm here. Don't worry."
I could smell the strong scent of mint toothpaste as I rested my head against his neck, holding his t-shirt tightly between the grasps of my fingers.
Eventually, my tears dried, and I remained mute, as did he, respecting my silence for a while until he spoke. "What's up, Rose?" he questioned, stroking my hair lovingly. I liked the way it felt. He had a way of making me feel safe.
"I'm such a bad...person. I can't do this anymore," I croaked, sniffling as I squeezed my fingers around his bicep. "I hate this. Nick loves me. And I'm s-supposed to love him. I shouldn't be doing any of this. It's wrong. This is all so wrong," I complained, pulling away as I pushed my hair from my face.
Shane didn't say a word as he just sat there watching me.
"I mean really. What do I expect to happen out of all of this? We'll just carry on this, and I'll keep lying to Nick through my teeth whilst at night I'm wishing I'm spending it in your bed? Huh? Is that what I'm supposed to do? Because...I don't think my heart can take that. It's not right," I said sincerely, standing up to my feet. Shane followed standing up and holding his hands on either side of my shoulders.
"Rose---"
"---No." I swatted his hands away as I paced the corridor. "I...can't, Shane. We." I waved my hand signalling the connection between us. "We can't. This shouldn't be happening. I'm married and you're...single. You know what!" I said hysterically, quickening my pace. "Maybe, I'm just your rebound? Huh? Yeah, maybe this is just some bullshit sex because you're feeling sorry for yourself about your ex. Huh? Maybe." I paused swallowing, jabbing my finger at him. "You're just using me to feel better about yourself. Maybe, you leech on all married women. You can't do commitment, so you destroy it and what's the best way by preying on married women!" I exclaimed.
"Rose," he softly interjected but I ignored it.
"Yes! That's why you led me on! After all you started this shit! You're just going to sleep with me a couple times and then you'll move on. Leave me distraught. disgusted with myself whilst you dilly-dally without a second's thought. Yes! That's what you're doing!" I blabbered on, throwing accusations and hysterically throwing my hands about as I paced and paced.
"Rose."
"You're just a leech, just a---" I was cut off and the aggression of my words were replaced with the low mewl at the back of my throat as I felt his lips, hungry against mine. His fingers were through my hair as I felt him manipulate my lips, thrusting his tongue through and meeting hallway with my passionate tackle. There was nothing I could do as I willingly allowed him to slide his body against mine. I wanted him. He wanted me. It was as easy as that.
He tore at my jeans, pulling my jeans halfway before unbuttoning his own. It was carnal. This lust was different. This wasn't like the other two occasions, instead he expressed darkness, yanking his boxers down before tearing my knickers down as he went inside of me hard and fast. It was so unexpected. I was breathless. He was grunting as he fucked me against the wall, my nails clawing into his shoulders as his hot breath teased my neck.
I gasped, his name sliding down my tongue. "Sshane."
I needed him. I needed him badly.
And I could barely recover once he filled inside of me. I exhaled, feeling him go limp as he nuzzled his nose, lips into my neck. I ran my fingers through his hair, blinking as I let that sensation run and embrace me throughout. How was it possible?
I felt his lips tug at my ear lobe and then a trail of muttered words. "You're mine."
THANK YOU FOR READING! IF YOU ENJOYED PLEASE VOTE, COMMENT AND SHARE! AGAIN, MAY I REMIND YOU THAT BY NO MEANS DO I AGREE WITH CHEATING! IT IS WRONG! THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. SO, ROSE SHOULD REALLY MAKE UP HER MIND!
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