Although I don't want to match those thoughts of mine, it can still be filled with any hallucination because of things that are destined not for me. I was busy dealing with that change, but the apprehension was accompanied by desires as to how Catherine would find understanding of things.
Murry seemed strange to me because he himself volunteered to drive me to school. I knew we weren't that close and there I felt bad for him about what happened that night about Catherine. I can feel the hot blood flow in my veins. I didn't bother Jasper too much, I knew he would be busy with Football, especially since Embry hadn't come home yet. They only met when he came home quickly from Lacrosse.
I was nervous because the cheat sheet was passed to me while we were taking a test on a subject and it was handed to me. I turned in Riggs' direction but I got no answer from him. I was nervous because I might be the one to blame about spreading of act dishonestly from the class.
''Did you know that this kind of thing is forbidden Ms. Sanders?'' Mrs. Everleigh held the chisel protruding from my bag.
Fortunately, I immediately hid the paper and put it in my pocket. I breathed a sigh of relief as we were dismissed in class. Weekends are coming up and I found on the calendar Catherine's birthday the other day. I don't know if Murry will remember the upcoming occasion to celebrate her birthday.
I knew that wouldn't be a big deal to him. But he mentioned when we were going to dinner that he wanted to invite Jasper for the occasion. I know that sounds like madness. I just agreed with his opinion. I also plan to include Riggs so as not to be awkward.
What's wrong with Jasper? and the whole world is like a magnet clinging to him. Although I didn't wake up well that Saturday and I knew they would be busy on Catherine's upcoming birthday. I don't want to take the lead in Murry's planning. He might think I'm too arrogant. I caught up with him in the garage and told him I'll be going somewhere for a jog. But I know it's unbelievable what caused me because I've never been interested to take care of my cardio.
I just wanted to leave the house and I knew when Murry was there he controlled everything. I went to Riggs hideaway to pick up some things I left behind when I stayed there. Because I have a duplicate key of his house I took the key from the pocket of my pants. And when I came in, Oliver came up to me with a woman sitting on his lap on the couch. I just deserve to ignore what happened. The two of them suddenly stopped what they were doing, I went straight to her room and opened the black walk in closet next to the toilet. I felt Oliver follow. I noticed the girl who was with him earlier had disappeared.
''I just took some of my stuff.'' I mumbled.
As he entered the room without wearing any upper garment. He just stared at me while busy picking up some of my belongings.
''Riggs was asking for help about his father, about his scholars. There is a program to be done and you are one expected to lead.'' He say.
''You know that I hate charities.'' I grimaced.
''Oh and by the way Murry is one of the sponsors. And you should be there.''
I move in flounce, alternating the moment of being grouchy. I don't know why I have to do things that I know are just too indulgent in craving what a lot of people will say like praise.
I know Catherine won't do the same thing. I guess.
When I got back in the car Jasper suddenly came to my mind, that strange desire between the two of us. But I chose to forget that. In recent months I have almost become close to him, I think he is too. I stopped the car because I couldn't find it groping the sound from my cellphone. I and when I finally got it too.
''Gotcha!'' I muttered, had a quick glance in the rearview mirror.
Somebody fidgeted in my window. He bend his face towards my direction so I could see him clearly.
''Hey,'' I say and pulled down the window.
''I think you missed something,'' Jasper said.
He suddenly got in the car, and he just looked at me.
''What are you doing? get out of the car, '' I said reluctantly.
'' Nuh,'' He shook his head. '' Murry told me you needed my help. So that's why I'm here.
''He really do such this cranky things. He thought of me as brainless kid!'' I raised an eyebrow.
''We should be there before your mom could go home.'' He added.
Catherine is in the hospital for her check-up with Murry, and I know they will going home late. So end up deciding to took him at our house. I know he won't stop because of dad.
''So what are going to do?'' He say with his charming eyes, and widened smile.
I went straight to the kitchen, and prepare mushroom soup and a pasta. But I didn't know that he does know how to bake. He put the aprons, and the powder of flour scattered all over his faces and arms.
I tasted the sauce while I'm getting the pasta till it's cooked in the stove. After we prepared the food. Jasper spooned me to taste his mango pie and I adorably nod.
''Does it taste good?'' He asked.
''Yes. How did you learned all of this?'' I say.
''My mom used to teach me in the kitchen. She said I have to learn for myself because they are not there for life.'' He explained.
''So let's talk about being Mr. Independent, Mr. Price.'' I say, and the moment I saw the twinkling in his eyes. The captivating of his charms. I feel that I am deaf from any sound. I just feel my heart pounding. He just stares at me.
From the fleeting moment. I must say Jasper is the only guy I know that won't change himself just to impress everyone. But it such a crush in my situation which makes me uncomfortable. I left the trance of my imaginations and went away instead.
''I just take a shower.'' I say awkwardly.
I get that. However, when others are aware of the issue it helps so much. Then I can get space without anyone being offended and return with relationships still healthy. In this mode I have to take great care not to damage bonds of love, the relationships and people who are everything to my heart and soul.
But being loved is a sensation to embrace, yet if you have never felt the real thing before it can scary. Anything new can be this way. It is a step onto a new path, the ground feels different, the air has a new aroma, and the music you feel within begin to change. Love will change you. Love will life you higher if it is the real deal.
That push and pull, the longing to be near, the deep passion and declarations of love, soon followed by fear and paranoia, it is a pain upon our loving bond. To love me and then show distrust, it tears and rips at my soul. And so, this on again-off again aspect to our relationship is the only thing that could force me to leave you. So I beg of you to expel the ghosts of your past and see me as I truly am - as one who loves you so very deeply.
I got out of the room I caught up with Jasper who was staring somewhere. When he felt that I was behind him. He stared at a canvas portrait. A painting. He stared at the name at the bottom of the painting and uttered it.
''Walter, '' He say.
He turned to me and stared at me for a moment. But before he could speak the doorbell rang. Murry arrived with my mom, and dinner came, dad said he was going to stay to celebrate Catherine's birthday.
We took out the pasta we had cooked and the mango pie that Jasper had baked as we sing a happy birthday song. Catherine was surprised because she didn't know we were preparing for her birthday. Murry looked at me as if it was an honor for me. Great.
''Did you all prepare for it?'' Catherine place her arms in my waist, gaping at me.
I saw the gleam in her eyes, then she kissed me on the cheek. Jasper, on the other hand, started slicing the mango pie.
The four of us had dinner. Jasper's phone vibrated and apologized to answer the call. After dinner I was in the kitchen and I didn't know Jasper had followed. I stopped what I was doing. Then approach him.
'' Thank you. For all of this. For baking, even though I know you don't have to do that.'' I say.
He looked at me as if his eyes were speaking.
''This one you owe me. '' He mumbled proudly, and heard him chuckles.
''Did Embry call earlier?'' I asked.
''Yea,''
''Is she doing good?'' Motioning my glance to the fridge and getting some tea for my dad.
''She's pretty much not up to scratch. I don't see Storm where is he?''
''Nuh, he's engage with our cargo business. That's why he's almost got a suspension from school. There is no one else to look forward to but him.'' I say.
When I entered the school I saw Jasper from afar. I greeted him warmly as I walked along the school premises. He would just arrive with his car. He immediately noticed me. But he lost his attention to me when his football friends came. I saw Storm accompany me on the walk until we reached the hallway.
''It's a weird thing actually, that you greeted Jasper. I know you won't ever do that. '' He just shrugged.
I know it's pretty much insane. But I didn't expect that the result would be like that for the two of us. I didn't take what Storm said, I knew he just wanted me to deal with it.
I caught up with Riggs in the locker area.
'' I'll wait for you later. ''
'' Where? ''
''You forgot already?''
''Donation drive for scholars. It's Dad's ongoing project. You know that. You'll going to help me right?''
After school I went straight to Riggs hideaway. Bradford and Merrick were also there with other volunteers.
I was immediately greeted by Merrick when I arrived. I approached and stood beside where he was. There are bunch of boxes of names of donors. He handed me the board plate with the list of donors. That checklist to find out how many stationeries will be provided for those in need.
Merrick's mood suddenly broke.
'' I remember Jago was fond of charities. When we were kids, we used to give toys to the orphanage. '' He say, and you could see the sadness in his eyes.
'' Do you think Jago would be happy if he saw that you were sad?''
It was almost dawn when we finished and I woke up from sleep and I was next to Merrick on the sofa. I took my cellphone out of my gray jacket. It's 5 A.M. I stood up. The light was turned off and only light from the lampshade served as light so I could reach the rooms to go to the toilet.
But before I could get there, I caught a glimpse of the short opening of the door from the left. I saw Riggs whose making out with a girl from the same school. I also heard a few grunts.
I left immediately and closed the door to the toilet. What I have just see? They are having sex.
When I came out I met Riggs. I can't look him in the eye. I knew Murry wouldn't scold me because I said goodbye to him properly and he knew for that to the Governor, and he is also one of the donors.
As I got home I caught up with Jasper who was with Catherine, so I was hardly surprised.
''She's here. Fortunately, Jasper is very gentlemanly. Murry isn't here yet and I'm hungry. '' Catherine said. ''He tries to cook for me honey.''
Jasper turned from his back.
''She triggers with her PTSD, and luckily I was there to help her. Because I've heard some yell. And then I realize that she was laying in the bathroom. I helped her.''
''Oh mom,'' I went toward her melancholy. ''Are you okay now? Next time Murry wouldn't just leave you here. What if next time no one could be there to save you?'' I said in rush.
''Hey calm down,'' Jasper whispers. ''Everything's gonna be alright. She'll be fine.''
I give him a nod, upturned face.
The anxiousness filled me was running through my mind what happened to Catherine until Jasper left. I didn't feel like having dinner when Murry called me.
I know Murry noticed that I thought he would ask and talk to me but he didn't. Contrary to what I think. I know that fatherhood will prevail over him, and by chance he let me.
We went to Cambridge at Welchdale homes. The governor was also there for the donation drive. Merrick, Bradford and Jasper joined us. Embry missed this important event.
Some nuns were there. I saw the children in the orphanage. We stood on the edge of the stage while Riggs 'father gave a speech.
'' This place is close to my heart. because of this I grew up. Sister Esther who always honored me with good works, until the Hawkins couple took me as my foster parents. I will never forget my memories here. And now that I have a son of my own, Riggs, I know why Sister Esther values me so much.''
Jasper and I had a quick glance to each other. I saw his soul through his smile.
''Your father was like a saint when he gave his speech. '' I said while looking in a room, I was with Riggs. I also don't like it too much in public. I would be sick. Such a whited sepulcher.
''That's include to be sweet-smelling for the citizens. You need to veneer for them to like you.'' He muttered.
My phone vibrated and got a text message from Riggs and I picked him up at his house. I looked at my reflection in the outside mirror as I looked out for him. What's the problem then and he just called to bother me.
I saw him coming out of their house and then got into my car. I just ran away from Murry's car because he would ask me where I was going.
He feels flushed as he walks and get in my car with a clenched jaw. He looks frustrated.
''Dad found out that I constuprate him.'' He sighed. ''Evee.'' He promised as he looked away.
''What? Seriously? '' I was sound astounded. ''Is that Jago's ex-boyfriend? That gumshoe.''
''I need to steal those security cameras at school. I know Jakob already told the school about it.'' His eyes narrowed.
We headed to somewhat near at school where Bradford and Merrick were waiting. They waited and gape at if anyone else was sneaking around tries to catch us.
As we went to school through the backdoor, because it doesn't close on Saturdays. They commit to memory that school. I, on the other hand, scrutinize if anyone was coming. There was no guard when we arrived. So it was easier for us to enter the hallway from the back of the school. Bradford and Riggs were first. Meanwhile Merrick served to look over at his spot. They went to the room where the security camera records were all have been shelved.
They got to the room there was a security personnel. So Riggs quickly hid next to the locker. I could feel the strength of my chest throb because of the jittery, we could get caught at any moment.
Riggs give him a signal when to get in. His knee bend towards his stomach reaching his feet. They slowly slipped into the room without anyone noticing them. And the lights are off.
He would try to delete and steal some information from the security cameras from the day he molested Jakob. It would be such a big deal if everyone finds out concerning with his dad whom is a Mayor in Georgia. It would be such a shame to his family and to the students if they could steal the records from the security cameras and if his father knew about the allegations is true. It's hard for Riggs to settle everything.
The next day I dropped some of my stuffs in the locker area at school after the first part of my class.
I saw Riggs and Evee cross paths. Yeah, that guy Evee Jago Crosole's boyfriend which is a stinker.
''I know what you did, '' Evee said breathless with anger, clenching fist.
Riggs suddenly grabbed him and leaned him against the wall. He was almost choking on his rage.
'' Just shut your mouth, '' Riggs scowling. '' If you want your life to get out of trouble. ''
Riggs looked around so they couldn't hear him menacing him as he going to hurt Evee as a joke and I see that he realise it acts as a sort of psychological control. Evee anger thrummed through his veins, trying not to shake as he get ride of him on his way.
Before I start heading off, Jasper approach me. He was there for an instance, getting even more handsome. We become close to each other such an assertive guy.
''We have game this Saturday, I hope you watch.'' He say, easily get flustered.
I give him a nod.
''Tell your dad thanks to the GPS Navigators, they are cool!'' He muttered expressing gratitude, invisibly that Murry and him has this bond together that I don't know.
''Sure, I'll tell him.'' I replied thrifty.
But when Embry appear to my sight. She shouted as a welcoming to give us surprise. She walked rushing toward our direction. His boyfriend Jasper looked at her.
''Sanders! Oh my god. It's been a long time.'' She say dilating pupils.
''How are you? You look great.'' I say.
''Well, actually I finished my lacrosse and now I have time with my boyfriend, and my best friend who will have a lot to tell me while I am away.'' She feverish.
I and Jasper had both glances, but I turned it away and ignored him.
''Yeah, and I have game this Saturday and I told her to watch our victory.'' He said.
''Of course me and Sanders will going to send some cheers!'' Embry's flashing smile. And as she went away with Jasper, and as I plastered with tight smile.