A/N:
SORRY I ENDED THE LAST CHPT SO ABRUPTLY, I WAS CHECKING THE WORDS AND IT SAID 1111 SO I WAS LIKE "THE HEAVENS SAID NO MORE" SO YEAH, 1111
HOPE'S POV:
I felt bad leaving Alex, after he told me he wanted me to live. I just...I was done. I was done being unable to sleep until I made myself bleed. I was done lying to everyone saying "I'm fine". I was done wasting everyone's time. I ESPECIALLY couldn't live now. Not now that everyone around me knows I'm depressed. Surely they'd all treat me differently.
Alex will HATE me if I come back. I can't. I just need to die. Better for everyone...right?
I'm just tired.
Tired of being bullied
Tired of being worthless
Tired of wasting people's time
Tired of being stupid
Tired of being hurt
Tired of being tired
Tired of being alive.
And death is like a long needed nap
That just doesn't end.
I won't ever be tired again
GABBIE'S POV:
David was driving the car I was in. I could see the other car filled with vlog squad members about 3 cars down.
I dm'd Tyler Joseph (A/N: Again, IDK just go with it)
"You know that girl you sang for?" I sent
"Yeah."
"Yeah, thanks for that, by the way"
"Anytime, I owed you one"Tyler responded
"Yeah she's gonna kill herself and we are currently following her down the freeway and she doesn't know"
"How can I help?"
"Not sure. If you figure something out, let us know"
"Yeah, no problem. What's her number?"
"[insert number]"
"Thanks" Tyler said
TYLER'S POV (oof...you excited? XD...okay, anyway)
I showed Josh the messages
"Your plan?" Josh asked (a/n: I was gonna make him say "shit" but he doesn't cuss)
"Gonna text her"
"And then?" Josh asked
"Let's see where it goes from there" I responded
THE CONVERSATION (T=Tyler H=Hope)
T: Hey, Hope
H: Who's this?
T: Gabbie didn't tell you?
H: Huh?
T: I'll take that as a no
H: Omfg just tell me. I shouldn't be texting you, I'm driving
T: I'll call you
H: okay, whatever
So I called her
T: Sup
H: WHO IS THIS?!
Josh: Hey Hope!
H: Josh?
T: how do you recognize his voice and not mine?
H: I don't know. Your singing voice is VERY different to your normal voice. Why are you calling me? Why am I so comfortable talking to you?
T: Don't know
Josh: Yeah, Gabbie told us you were self conscious
H: The bitch
T: she's really nice
H: when did you get my number?
T: when we performed for you and Alex
H: why are you texting me NOW?
Josh: We were busy. It was my idea. We're bored now. Where are you?
H: Driving
Josh: where?
H: Nevada
T: dafuq? You were just in California
H: shit happens
T: can we hang out?
H: Wow, you are REALLY good at impressions, I gotta go now
Josh: what do you mean?
H: Josh and Tyler, asking ME to hang out? bullSHIT.
T: actually, not
Josh: we're really bored
H: *laughs* I can tell
Josh: Plus we're actually in Nevada. Otherwise we would have kept it over the phone
H: oh cool, where?
Josh: [insert city name]
H: I'm about half an hour south of there!
Josh: here, I'll text you the address. Then you'll have both of TØP's phone numbers
H: lovely.
H: see you in about 45 minutes depending on traffic
Josh: cool, see ya then!
H: K, bye
Then I texted Gabbie
T: Yo, she's gonna be hanging out with us.
G: thanks, where are you?
T: [insert address] but keep up with my messages, I kinda want to start to ease her sadness before you arrive
G: I get it. Keep us updated!
GABBIE'S POV:
I was relieved and extremely happy I had gotten Tyler's number. I texted Alex the address
"But seriously, don't storm in. We want to make sure she's okay or else Hope could run away again and could stop giving us week long heads up" I warned/begged
"I promise, I'll keep my head" he swore.
"Thanks" I said
"Anything for Hope" he said
HOPE'S POV:
I am super excited to hang out with Josh and Tyler.
I decide that I'm going to be someone new for them. I'm gonna act totally comfortable with my body. As much of a lie as that is
I am driving to their house listening to my playlist again.
And in what seems to be the blink of an eye, my gps is saying "the destination is on your left"
A small house is there and sure enough, it matches the address Josh sent me
"I'm here" I sent to Josh
"Cool beans" he said
A few seconds later, I saw the door start moving. I walked up to the building. Josh opened the door
JOSH'S POV:
I opened the door and she came in the house wearing a shirt that says "Life is dumb and I want to sleep" with some jeans and knee high converse. She had her phone in her hand and her case had a frowny face in the corner (picture above)
"Tyler! She's here" I called
Tyler came downstairs.
"Well, we are going to have a GRUELING interview" he joked
"Okay" Hope laughed
I sit down and pat the spot on the couch next to me. Hope sits there.
Tyler sits on the chair near the couch
"So, since we are self-obsessed, we like hearing fans tell us how much they enjoy our music" Tyler jokes
"Well then you are going to enjoy my company" Hope laughs
"What are your favorite songs of ours" Tyler says
"Car radio, Kitchen sink, forest, Migraine, friend please"
"Wow, you were prepared" I laugh
"Yup"
"What are your favorite verses from some of our songs" Tyler asks
"I'm actually really glad you asked that because I love some lines from screen but not the whole thing. I mean, I love the whole thing but it's not a FAVORITE. I love "sometimes quiet is violent" in Car Radio. I love "While you're doing fine, there's some people and I, who have a really tough time, getting through this life so excuse us while we sing to the sky" in screen. I love "our brains are sick but that's okay" from Fake you Out. I love the line "A kitchen sink to you, is not a kitchen sink to me, okay friend?" From Kitchen sink" I say
"Do you know what a kitchen sink to me is?" Tyler asks
"No" Hope responds
"Then why is that a favorite of yours?" he asks
"Because that example might not be one I relate to but the idea is something I relate to" Hope says
"who's your favorite member?" I ask
"Don't" Hope asks
"Don't what?" Tyler asks
"Don't" Hope says
"YOU HAVE A FAVORITE, DON'T YOU!" I ask
"yup" she says
"WHICH ONE OF US?!" Tyler asks
"Josh" she says quietly
"HA!" I shout
"WHAT?!" Tyler laughs
"I'm sorry. But seriously, come on, look at him" She said, gesturing to my smile
"Ah! True" Tyler says
"He's so pure" She says
"HA!" Tyler laughs
"What?" she asks
"He's not 'PURE'" Tyler says
"Don't make me get my pictures out!" She yells
"please do!" I say, laughing
"Yes, please do" Tyler says
Tyler sits down next to her on the couch and we both lean in. The background picture is one of her and Alex kissing "CUTE" I yell out
"Where is Alex?" Tyler asks
"Unknown" She says
"Huh?" I ask
"Just...no" she says
"Okay" I say.
"Thanks" she says
She has a bunch of albums on her phone that she literally calls "fangirl"
She opens "fangirl; Josh"
"Wow" I say, seeing that the album has over 200 images on it
"Shut up." she laughs
"At least you're open that you're a fangirl" Tyler says, laughing
"Ah, the (fuck a) silver lining" she says
She starts showing a bunch of pictures of me
"Look at it!" she says, smiling
"and" Tyler says
"Look, he's even pure in the Heathens music video" she says, showing a screenshot from the music video (PIC BELOW)
"Wow, Josh, you pure Mother effer" Tyler says
"That would make me a father, kind sire" I laugh
"Ah...but of course" Hope laughs
"Who's your favorite artist?" Tyler asks
"Quite a few" Hope said
"Being?" I asked
"Wait, Hope, don't answer that question, I'm gonna go to the bathroom" Tyler said, running to the bathroom
I knew he was just telling Gabbie to not come until we say
"So, Hope, why do you seem to only like our sad songs?" I ask
"Oh...uh...I don't know. What a coincidence" She laughs awkwardly
"Uh...I think not" I answer
"I just kind of relate to them. Sometimes I like to think "Friend Please" was meant for me" She said
"It is" I said
"Don't lie to me, Josh" She said
"No lies, it's literally meant for everyone."I say
"Oh" she says
"Yeah. Don't take your life away from me"I say
"You wouldn't even notice" She says
"Bull" I say
"Correct, I am a cow" She says
"Incorrect" I say
"Whatever" she says
"I'm back!" Tyler says
"So, your favorite artists?" I ask
"You guys, P!atd, Scotty Sire, Alex Ernst, Gabbie Hanna, Bmike, and Watsky" She answers
"Who's Bmike?" I ask
"A really good singer" she responds
"No shit" Tyler laughs
"play us your favorite of his music" I say
"Oof" she says
"What?? Just play it" I say
"This song is called 'Anxiety'" she says
The song is basically supposed to represent a visit to a therapist
"That IS good!" I say when it's done
"True" Tyler says
"Is there another one?" I ask
"Uh...sure. I don't even wanna tell you what this one's called but here ya go," She says
I glance down at her screen "Baby don't cut"
At the end of the song, the girl is dead and her boyfriend is hurt.
"Based on your song choice, I'm guessing you're a lot like this girl?" Tyler asks
"Sorta" she says
"'Sorta'? You are depressed, you probably self harm, and if you died, you have a boyfriend that would VERY MUCH CARE. You're exactly like the girl in this song" I say
"I guess" she says
Tyler gets a call
"Sure, let me text it to you. Why? Are you in the state?" he asks
I know he's talking to Gabbie
"I hope you don't mind, another friend of ours will be hanging out with us." Tyler says
"I don't want to third wheel, I'll just go" she says
"No, come on" I say
"Alright, fine" she says, sitting back down
A/N: YO, I AM STOPPING HERE! NEXT CHAPTER WILL HOPEFULLY COME OUT TOMORROW!!
@stay-alivefrens I HAVE A TØP FAN PAGE SO FOLLOW ME!
ALSO:
THESE PICTURES!!!
It's them running in the rain and it's literally the cutest thing! (okay, I'm sorry. I've written a lot of vlogsquad stuff so I'm taking a quick break)
This is the picture I was talking about earlier. The screenshot from "Heathens". Look how cute Josh is! It's my desktop background!