I hear the front door slam shut ... He needs to chill . I pay attention to nothing else and go over to Madison's office trying key , after key , after key to find the right one which would unlock his office . After ... too much time , I finally get into Madds' office . Damn . It's so organized - I am officially impressed . I walk over to his desk instantly spotting the letter since it seemed so ... aloof . It definitely matched it's surroundings by being completely parallel to the pile of essays besides it but it was the only thing that wasn't in a neat pile . I would read it here but I will definitely mess something up so I head back to my office making sure to lock Madison's door . Yawning , I sit with my back pressed against the back of my chair , throwing my feet on my desk and my curiosity growing stronger .
Thomas' POV
Dear Lord ! James is so short that I can lose him within moments ! "T-Thomas J-Jefferson ! P-Pleasure meeting you , sir !" Huh ? I look to my right to find where that small high pitched voice came from "W-W-would you mind d-dancing with me , s-s-sir , J-Jefferson ?" A short woman with a French Twist hairstyle and an incredibly intricate purple corset bodice dress was looking up towards me "I-I-I mean if you want to ! I-I-I-If y-you d-don't then t-that's f-fine . Y-Y-You're a busy man a-after all !" I look her up and down with a small smile on my face . Her dress is gorgeous ! "May I ask , who was the genius that tailored your dress , madam ?" I continue observing every little detail until she has officially taken too long to answer so I look directly at her , her face was such a dark shade of red that I could barely distinguish her lipstick from the rest of her . "Uhm heh I-I believe it was a man called Hercules Mil.... n-no t-t-that's not it , Ma-Mu ... " even though she kept attempting to remember Mulligan's name I instantly knew who she was talking about and my mood dropped . Why does he get to be close to the General and I don't !? Tsk , I unconsciously start tapping my foot "Uhm uhhhmm , s-s-sir uhm a-aa-re y-you okay ? Y-you s-seem uhm a-a-angry " her sentence was filled with voice cracks . Dammit ! I'm not usually like this ! Why did I just do that !? "Oh ! Apologies , sweetheart . My thought wondered else where ~" I make myself one step closer to her , looking straight into her eyes and making my voice deeper just a tad bit "O-o-oh , t-t-that's a-alright then ... heh " Her eyes widened for a second and my effects on her were quite obvious : she was looking away slightly holding her hand in front of a sheepish smile , her other hand was pulling slightly on her dress as if fidgeting with it and I could even feel the warmth emitted form her body . Oh lord , I want to have the same effect on General L/n ~ I feel my eyes haze for a fraction of a second ... but unfortunately shuffling brought my attention back ... How should I escape this predicament ... Looking behind her for any sort of remedy I can't seem to - WASHINGTON ! "Sorry dear , I feel dreadful about having to cut our conversation short but the president is calling me " she looks down obviously disappointed "O-okay , t-that's a-alright " Now I need to go before I lose sight of the president .
Reader's POV
I low key feel bad for opening a letter with such a stunning seal ... but I'm curious . Jefferson was obviously determined to make sure nobody else but General L/n got it . Pft ... Imagine it's some sort of love letter , I laugh at my own thoughts and peel the seal off . Ahem ... I begin reading out loud for my own entertainment
"Ma moitié " ... I just spit out my non-existing drink ... GAH ! Deep breaths , deep breaths . I close my eyes and exhale slowly - allowing my mind to pause for a second , but as soon as I breathed in again my mind began to race from explanation to explanation , it doesn't matter if it was far stretched or not I need something ... anything ! Okay ... okay ... it's fine ... no need to freak out about 2 words , HECK , I haven't even checked if this is written to me ! Maybe at the end there will be a lil line saying 'could you please deliver this message to blahblah ' ya know . My legs were weak but definitely not the same way as if being in love ... they were cold as if frozen in fear ... damn , I need a therapist ...
Screwing the idea of reading out loud I clench the letter and drag my eyes across every loop stretching out from every single letter - he either has spend hours on such fancy handwriting or is a natural which is an option I'm not willing to accept
(the letter is going to be in italics and there's some french I found online so it's likely that it's wrong one way or another so please do correct me !)
Getting past the first two words without having another panic attack I continue :
Ma moitié ...
Mon ange ...
Mon chaton ...
Ma chèrie ...
Mon coeur ...
Ma passion ...
Mon avenir ...
I can't quite tell if there's one too many endearing terms I lay awake listing and dream of having the honor of calling you with , or if there simply isn't enough . Woefully , I haven't had the chance of meeting such perfection as yourself ... astonishment hits me with every sentence that comes to mind due to my change of heart . I'm well aware of how my reputation proceeds me and it's no lie . Ladies don't fall for me , I am the individual responsible for tripping them right into my arms ... I would stand proud , twirl them and let go , however I have become a man reaching out for something unreachable and tripping over my own self . Though I must say , as much as my reputation proceeds me so does yours , mon rêve . I trip and fall over and over through day and night , in my dreams and in my morning haze , I keep tripping over the same pebble . That peddle is my thoughts of you - sitting behind my eyes and hiding in my subconscious . I don't wish to offend other women yet compared to you they seem as nothing more than empty wine glasses . In the game of chess I am the King but you , darling , you are the player , the one and only that has control over my whole world and my every move . I find myself dancing with my temporary queen however my fantasies wonder off to you . My crown is chipped and it seems only you , mon ange , hold the missing piece in the palm of your hand . Your heart beats for your pawns , knights , bishops , rooks , queen and me - your obedient servant . On the contrary , my ceramic heart longs for a simple glance from you in my direction and I'll wait until I'm the only figure standing in your troop and I'll be the only one left you can play with , but trust me , I'm the only piece you need to win . As a price I can give you my heart but ...you've had it since the beginning , and this is the purpose of this letter . I'm giving you my heart before the game , I can only follow your lead for the n number of games it takes you to decide if you are willing to hand me the missing piece of my crown .
Your loyal king ,
T . J .
...
...
AAGGHHH! My shaking hands are wrinkling the sides of the letter but there's no way I can hear it over the loud pumping of my heart or my panicking thoughts . OH , LORD ! What do I do ? What do I do ? What do I do ? What do I do ... Calm down ... that's what I should do ... WHY AM I PANICKING OVER THIS . Breath in , close your eyes ... and open them ... c'mon ... maybe closed eyes are better ... My legs are weak , fantastic ! No , no , no , no , no , no , no , NO ! But why would he ! Oh , lord , his expectations of me are too high ! Why ? Why ? Why ? Oh , why am I panicking over this ! ... heh ... exactly ... he isn't in love with me or something . The sad part is that I'm well aware of denying ... Sigh ... there is no reasonable explanation for Thomas to --- actually ... he might be infatuated with General L/n ... not even her , he's in love with the stories of her , the image of her he has created . General L/n is just a vessel for his lonely fantasies . I don't know . I get panicked by the thought of somebody being romantically interested in me yet I'm left somewhat disappointed knowing he isn't . Besides ! He's a fuckboy !
Definitely not the best of chapters but I can't just do nothing till motivation hits me ! Sure , it's useful but I don't just want to leave this story without an update for too long