Good or important enough to justify.
Thank you for saving me.
The words make their way into my brain as I flicker my eyelids open, my eyelashes tickling the skin on Nick's neck.
I had somehow wrapped myself around his lean body. His arms enclosed around my body and my head rested on his bare chest. He smelled of peach flavored body wash.
We fell asleep mumbling stories to each other, his time during the summer when he was 11 years old and how him and Emily ate nothing but orange popsicles; stuck their toes in warm mud at a creek, how he caught garden snakes in a shoebox before setting them free. I told him about the time I lived by the beach and everyday I would go into the ocean and try to get caught in a riptide.
I shift and I stare up at him, a bruise is on his cheek and I lift a fingertip softly running my finger across it, down his jawline until I reach his collarbones and start trying to memorize every little freckle he has, every discoloration from the fight, every scar that could have killed him if it was just an inch to the right or left, every single tiny detail I trace with my hands and when I get to his stomach he mumbles something.
"Sorry," I'm about to snap my hand away but he grabs it gently, placing our fingers together and kissing my hand before settling it back on his chest.
Nick still has his eyes closed and the sunlight from the living room windows is grazing over his skin and I could swear he glows just like a flower right before it sprouts into something beautiful. I'm warm, from his body heat and the sun. I don't ever want to move from this second, even with all the bruises and ache on me, I want to be held by him forever. I close my eyes.
I think I fall back asleep because I don't know how much more time passes before I hear a gruff voice standing over us. "Morning."
Nick and I both bolt upright, bleary eyed and staring at an old man. He wears a maroon t-shirt and old jeans with his hands on his hips. He looks amused. Nick clears his throat.
"Fay told me she had guests," The man coughs and covers it with his hand. "Told me about all the trouble you got into it." Nick and I both open our mouth to start spewing excuses but he holds a hand up. "It's fine, get dressed and I'll make ya'll some grub to eat. Fay should be down soon."
He shuffles to the kitchen and Nick shares a puzzled look with me. "Fay lives with her grandfather," I whisper, just as clueless as him at the abrupt awakening.
"Do you think he'll let me borrow a shirt?" Nick's hair is disheveled and his eyes dart to the back of the house where the smell of bacon starts to waft towards us.
I chuckle, feeling more comfortable with Nick after everything that happened last night. "Go ask while I check on Fay," I scramble out of the bed in a pair of Fay's pink pjs. Nick pulls on my wrist until I'm down to his eye level. "What?"
He kisses me. It's quick and soft. "Okay, now go check on Fay." He smirks. I grin at him and bound up the stairs. I pause when I get to the top staring out at a window with leaves smooshed on it. A tree is blocking the view of the backyard and for some reason it makes me think of last night and how easily something is beautiful and how easily it can be taken away.
I had let Nick take a warm washcloth and wipe the blood from my cheek and neck; a stranger's blood. It was nice in a way but haunting in another. I had hurt someone but received gentleness for it. This tree had grown but became something that kept a window shut otherwise all the leaves would fall onto the inside of a home.
"Hey," I jump at the sound of Fay's voice. I turn to look at her. There's a bandage wrapped around her bicep and she wears a grey dress with bright red socks. The most notable thing is her hair. Cut to her shoulders, wavy and looking choppy at the ends.
"Did you-"
"I cut my hair, yeah," She looks down. "I needed to change something. I felt pretty badass with all the bruises ya know," She actually laughs and I'm not sure if I need to be worried.
"Well, I'm glad you didn't get too hurt," I step forward and clutch her hand. She squeezes back.
"Is he okay?" Fay asks me, referring to Nick.
"Yeah, just really banged up but nothing's broken," I say. I look at the window. "Do you think what we did last night was a mistake?"
"Not at all," She squeezes my hand. "It was chaotic and we didn't know what we were walking into. We were just defending ourselves."
"Yeah, but was it worth it?" I drop her handz
Fay looks at me in thought. I think of the window that can't open because it's blocked by beauty.
Thank you for saving me.
"I don't know," Fay shakes her head, not looking at me. "But I'd want it to be."
She grabs my hand and we go back downstairs. We go to the kitchen where Fay's grandfather is scrambling eggs and sizzling bacon. Nick sits at a round table dressed in a white shirt and his jeans from last night. I swear I can spot blood on them and there's a tear in the knee. He's shaking his leg nervously but stops when he sees me.
"Fay, my dear," Her grandfather pulls her into a hug. "When I said get out more I didn't mean fight club."
"Yeah, yeah," She playfully smiles at him. Her whole demeanor has changed around him, he's her only family yet they could joke about having been near death.
I sit next to Nick and grab his hand under the table because for some reason I'm shaking. For some reason I'm scared he's going to leave any second now.
"Ya'll can call me Travis," Fay's grandfather waves his spatula at us. "And that's Nick there and Kaia correct?"
We both nod. Fay opens the fridge and pulls out a carton of orange juice. "Um, I kind of told Grandpops everything that happened," Nick tenses and she sees it. "But don't worry he's old and won't tattle." Fay smiles up at him.
"She's got that right," Travis says, smiling back.
He's got wrinkly hands, tired ice blue eyes and smile lines. He seems like a young child but he looks so old, like he's seen so much more than I could fathom but then again maybe I would start seeing more things that would make my hair turn grey. Maybe fear ages you. Maybe excitement ages you. Maybe simply just being alive turns you to dust.
"I should get going," Nick states loudly and in my direction. He lets go of my hand. I crumple my nails into my palm. I knew he would run out on me.
Fay is pouring a glass of juice and Travis gives us all a puzzled look. "You should rest, boy. Looks like you had quite the night." Fay hands Nick the glass of orange juice with a mothering look in her wide eyes.
"Sit and eat, then you can get your ass wherever it needs to be at," She quirks an eyebrow at him.
He smiles and takes the glass but freezes and pulls her closer whispering something only she can hear. Fay blinks in surprise and quickly turns to the stove to help her grandfather with the multiple pans he's managing plus a waffle maker.
Nick sits down and I stare at the table. There's a sharpie drawing of a garden with red tomatoes, purple tulips and green bushes. It Looks like Fay did it. Nick sets the glass down near the drawing and I can feel his gaze on mine. Fay chuckles at something Travis says. The smell of waffles comforts me.
"What did you say?" I say, low enough just for Nick to hear.
He gazes at Fay as if he's known her his whole life. "That she reminds me of my little sister."
*****
As soon as we finish breakfast and cleaning the dishes which included a lot of playful splashing, just Nick and I go outside.
I knew as soon as he noticed how similar Fay was to Emily he wouldn't be leaving her behind either, leaving either of us behind. It was going to be all of us to save his sister or none of us.
I have faith in him.
I hope I'm not wrong.
"I'm not leaving yet," Nick says as if he was reading my mind.
I squint in the sunlight and scrunch my nose up. "Why not?" I'm hoping he says it's because of me.
"Reasons," He shrugs and shoves his hands in his pockets. His shoe shuffles near my toes. "Not enough money. No car."
"Are you asking me for my help?" I tilt my head to the side. "Because you're bad at it."
"God, you're never going to let me off the hook are you?" He sounds delighted at the idea of it. I smirk at him.
"I want to help you and I'm in this with you now. After last night," I shake my head lightly and shut my eyes. I think of the blood washing down the sink drain and then him kissing me as if there was never any pain put on either of us. "I'm all in. Whatever it takes. I'm helping you get Emily back."
"Kaia June," He sighs and says my name like he's saying goodbye. Nick's fingers gently touch my cheek and I lean into his warm skin. "I'm going to regret pulling you into this aren't I?"
There is a moment where I am looking at him, the sun glowing on his hazel eyes and brown hair. There is a moment where I think not what I would do for him but I what I wouldn't do. The answer was hazy but I knew it was nothing.
There was nothing I wouldn't do.
I kiss him, lightly. I pull back fiddling with the sides of his hair.
"Whatever It takes, I'm helping you because of that, right there," I trace my fingers on his lips. "And this," I hover my hand over his heart. "I am not losing you." I whisper the last part.
He clasps my hands in his. "I'm not losing you either. So, what's the plan, smartass?" He grins. "Rob a bank?"
He rubs his nose on mine and I swat him away, playfully. "Please, the man with the plan would be Fay."
"You're right about that," He scratches the back of his head, looks up at her house then back at me with a smile. "Yo, Fay!" He shouts.
The choppy haired strawberry blonde pranced down from the steps moments later, standing in between the two of was, having to look up to make up eye contact from her petite stature.
"I'm needed?" She raises her light brows.
Nick quickly explains that we need money, fast all the while I can already see the gears spinning in Fay's head until he stops talking and she snaps her fingers with an elated expression.
"We sell drugs."
"Uhm," I stammer.
"My grandpops has some oxy from an old leg surgery and I have old xanax," She shrugs. " There's a party tonight. This is a godsend."
Nick sees the look on my face. "Ah, babe, we really don't need to have the "this is illegal argument" do we?" He gives me a crooked smile.
"I just," I stammer looking between the two of them. "I don't want us to get caught. Or for someone to die."
"No one's gonna die," Fay says. "We sell what we need and leave. Simple."
"Doesn't seem simple, I have no idea why I thought it be," I mumble.
"It'll be fine," Fay doesn't sound convinced. "Right?" She looks at Nick.
He hesitates.
"Right."