41) 'Get A Makeover For Your Date' And Other Advice That Works In 80's Chick Flicks, Trashy Love Song Videos, Dubious Skyrim Mods And Generally Everywhere But Real Life
It took the squad quite a while to come up with an idea. Whatever Heston suggested was vetoed by the rest and whatever the rest suggested was quickly deemed 'not good enough'. Benjamin didn't want them to tell him what to do in the first place, but it's not like he had any ideas either, so in short: it was going absolutely great.
In the end it was Thijmen who solved the mystery. Benjamin remembered him saying he liked waffles, so they all decided unanimously that Ben should take him out for waffles. And maybe... the park.
Martin wanted to steal his idea, but then he realized Theo wasn't girly like Thijmen.
Good riddance.
One bag of chocolates went to Pi, one to Messiah, one to Heston, one to Martin, and after a moment of contemplation, two to Thijmen. Five for Benjamin, because he was (almost) a grown-up and it was scientifically proven that (almost) grown-ups needed a lot of food.
Messiah proposed a makeover. Martin said it wasn't manly, whereupon a long, droning speech about preconceived notions of gender roles and stereotyping and discrimination ensued, and thus Benjamin received a makeover. To be specific: a dress shirt and a bow tie. He felt like one of those brides in chick flicks. If he said this out loud, though, he'd trigger Messiah.
"Now his hair," said Heston. He took out a pair of scissors.
Benjamin replied, "No."
"It's too fluffy."
"You look like a Wendy's ad."
Martin had even brought a backpack. "I have these things," he began, rummaging through it, "which are like—"
"Not the inflatable muscles," spat Pi.
"Why not? You think Thighman's gonna be impressed by Benjamin's one-pack?"
While this happened, outside Benjamin's room, Thijmen knocked on the door. "Busy!" screeched Messian and Martin at the same time.
Benjamin fled. Literally. He scrambled off the bed, towards the door, opened it with his dress shirt still unbuttoned, hair badly gelled and ran out screaming while the squad stampeded after him, screaming, too. Thijmen still stood next to the door. While first startled, this soon gave place to the usual indifference. "Help!" screamed Benjamin, at the living room, trying to fight them off with a cushion.
As if letting his boyfriend get harassed wasn't bad enough, he dug into the pockets of his jeans and took out a cigarette. "Once you're done playing with your friends, tell me," he replied.
"Thijmen! Please! AHH!"
Moments later, they had him seized, one person per extremity. This had apparently gone from chick flick to 80's horror movie. While they carried the thrashing Benjamin back into his the room, Thijmen went back into his own. Benjamin knew he did this because he found it funny.
That was it.
Once they released him, he said, "Fine. Make me the hottest bitch in this place."
And now it was a chick flick again.
But seriously.
When he looked in the mirror afterwards, he actually looked kind of... decent. Maybe he should style his hair more often. Would Thijmen like it like this?
Martin snorted. "It's like he wants to fuck himself."
Messiah winked away a tear. "He's beautiful."
Heston groaned. "Don't tell me you're also gay."
He was kicked.
Then everyone was kicked out. Benjamin had a date to attend. He walked over to Thijmen's room and knocked on the door. Seconds later, Thijmen emerged and took a moment to look him up and down. He even raised his hand to scratch his chin.
To fill the silence, Benjamin said, "Let's go."
"Okay." He closed the door behind him and headed towards the end of the hallway. It wasn't until they reached the hall, that he finally said, "You look nice."
"Thank you."
Thijmen looked nice, too. Not that he didn't already look nice all the time, but he looked extra nice today. So he told him and Thijmen said thanks, too.
Now that that was out of the way, they slid into the car and Benjamin asked Isaac the driver to bring them to the park. It was a silent ride but not uncomfortably so. They simply sat side by side, thighs touching, looking out through the windows, until they reached their destination.
Thijmen followed him into the ice cream parlor, glancing around without saying a word, until they got to the counter and Benjamin asked, "How many waffles do you want?"
"Why did we come to an ice cream parlor for waffles?"
"Do waffles exist in the Netherlands?"
Instead of replying, Thijmen said, "Three waffles with whipped cream, please."
"That's an uneven number."
"They're all mine."
"Oh. Then three for me, too."
The girl behind the counter looked skeptical and then started making six waffles. With whipped cream. And sprinkles, because Thijmen decided he wanted those as well.
The moment they were placed in his hands and his teeth sank into the first one, his face lit up like a kid on Christmas Day. Benjamin almost forgot he was supposed to eat his own waffle. He could only stare at Thijmen.
"Happy Valentine's Day," said the girl.
"Oh, uh, thanks. You too."
That was the first time Benjamin had ever talked to a girl.
Now he was a real man. A real gay man. A real gay man who had talked to a real girl, while eating real waffles with his real boyfriend.
"Aren't you going to eat?"
Benjamin dropped one of his waffles in surprise. His heart broke. Thijmen's heart broke. The girl's heart broke, but she offered to make him a new one. Ben figured this was a good time to admit to himself that he couldn't just lose weight from sinning with Thijmen.
"Where does all the food in your body go?" he asked.
"To North Korea."
"That's nice. They must be very thankful."
"Yes, very. Are you sure you don't want another waffle?"
"No, two is fine."
"Okay." Thijmen shrugged and inhaled his third waffle, cream coating his lips and sprinkles raining down on the ground. Maybe the birds would eat them later. If Ben was a bird he'd eat sprinkles from the ground, too. They looked a lot prettier than seeds and nuts.
"These waffles are good. We should go here more often."
Maybe Benjamin wasn't so bad at organizing dates after all. Then again, Thijmen was the kind of person who always found ways to make anything fun and/or amusing. He'd never forget the lentil soup ordeal.
"Has anyone ever taken you to the park to eat waffles before?"
"Of course," Thijmen replied. "I get everyone to buy me a hundred waffles and then ditch them afterwards."
"Oh."
"No, you're the first, Benjamin."
He couldn't help but smile, and when Thijmen leaned over to plant a kiss on his cheek, it was impossible to stop. One step closer to being a better boyfriend. What next?
"Hey, Thijmen?"
"Yeah?"
"How is your thing going? You know... the program."
"Pretty good," he said, shrugging. "I mean, it's kinda hard to misbehave when there's nothing bad I can do."
"Would you misbehave if there was something bad you could do?"
He turned to Benjamin with a frown. "What? No, of course not."
Ben stared ahead, fumbling with the edge of his shirt, feeling bad. That wasn't the right thing to say. Thijmen had told him that he didn't do what he did willingly. He had emphasized that he didn't want to be a criminal...
How does one swallow words after they've already been said?
For a long moment, they were both silent. Thijmen crossed his ankles and then his arms, before finally saying, "I just meant that they're not giving me an opportunity to misbehave, and even if they did, I wouldn't."
"I know," Benjamin blurted. "Sorry."
Thijmen shrugged.
Maybe it was time to change tactics. "What, uh... What would you like to do?"
"Right now?"
"Yes, right now."
"Did you not plan anything else besides eating waffles in the park?"
"I... N-no. We can go feed the ducks."
"There are no ducks. There's not even a lake in this park."
"We can feed the birds."
"We have no food to feed them. Unless you wanna throw your waffles back up."
"We can feed the dogs."
"Benjamin, I just said—"
"I'm out of ideas."
After a short laugh, Thijmen got up from the bench and held out his hand. "Let's just take a walk, okay? The waffles were more than enough."
"Or we can feed the humans."
"Just take my hand."
"Okay."
So he took his hand and they took a walk. Under the moonlight, because it was romantic. Even if there was a dog in the dark that kept barking at absolutely nothing, and its owner barking at it to shut up with a voice that sounded like she'd been smoking for thirty-six years, and a kid throwing a tantrum because he couldn't have ice cream, and even if the moon was actually hidden behind clouds. It's the thought that counted.
"Do you ever wonder what your life would have looked like now if I hadn't shown up?"
Benjamin peered up at Thijmen through the corner of his eyes. "No, not really."
"What do you think it'd look like?"
"I'd be playing games with my friends."
His mouth opened and closed. "Yeah, you're probably right."
"What about you?"
He took a deep breath. "I'd like to think I would have found a way to stop that whole drug mess without getting in trouble, but... I don't know. Maybe I wouldn't have. Maybe I would have gotten in trouble no matter what I did. And I wouldn't have met you."
"If you hadn't met me, you wouldn't even know I existed."
"True."
"But I exist," he added quickly.
"Yeah, I know, Ben."
"Whatever alternate universes you're thinking up, this is the one where I got you waffles."
"Yes, thank you, they were very good."
The good thing about this kind of silence was that it was best left alone. Granted, it'd probably be better without all the barking and yelling and cars beeping, but it'd do. Without thinking, because this was Benjamin, he asked, "What's going to happen at the end of the year?"