AN:
Thank-you for commenting and voting on the last chapter: your kind words do not go unnoticed. :)
The edit above was made by me!
Huge apologies for not updating: I know you guys get frustrated when authors don't update, I do too. But unfortunately, I am unable to control things that happen in my personal life.
I originally planned on this story having Ahsoka and Anakin become romantically involved and you guys seem to want that, judging by last part's comments. We've got some serious Ahsoka-Anakin bonding in this chapter! ;) Hope you enjoy!
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The battle droid held a glimmering purple electro-staff. The duel between Ahsoka and her battle droid had come to a stalemate, with the droid slightly achieving the upper-hand. It had been programmed to simulate Anakin, something that wasn't difficult for Ahsoka having trained with her former Master: she knew the majority of his tactics inside out, which aided her immensely. Ahsoka had trained tirelessly for months on the desolate outer-rim world of Lurin, slaving to be able to challenge Vader upon their imminent meeting. She had trudged through the many failures, de-motivation and frustration. Ahsoka disliked the slow progress, but she was undeniably curious about what would happen when she saw Anakin again.
Much had changed over the months Ahsoka had retired to Lurin: the rebels' forces had doubled, Anakin had overthrown the Emporer and an old force signature had been haunting Ahsoka since the Emporer's demise. However, the reasoning behind Padmé's absence in Leia's life eluded Ahsoka. She feared the worst but could not force herself to give up hope completely. She needed answers. Ahsoka's thoughts honed in on the battle at hand. She spotted a weakness in the droid's stance; it had given Ahsoka a chance to finally defeat it. She stopped blocking the droid's staff with her two lightsabers and gracefully glided through its legs, flipped, and held her lightsabers in a cross formation at the droid's back, threatening to cut it in half. It turned around to face her and deactivated its staff- waiting to be turned off.
"Sorry, Tinikin," she uttered with a smirk before tip-toeing to reach to the back of the droid's neck and turn it off- the droid's specifications matched Anakin's body too and she was shorter than the Sith Lord.
Ahsoka sat down on a bench in her small hut. Lurin was somewhat off the Empire's radar, but the people were certainly intrusive. Ahsoka was extremely careful to be vague when conversing with the locals; she couldn't afford to compromise her location, and she wasn't about to make a mistake where the consequences could be the most severe. She was especially wary after she reconnected with an old force signature. It had only been for a few seconds, but she knew something was off. Something was different. Something was wrong. She knew that whoever she had connected with was close but the only planet nearby was Tatooine, and she had no business on that desolate rock.
Ahsoka had tried to keep in contact with Bail and she took extreme precautions to do so. He had told her of the Rebellion's growing numbers and it filled her with joy- knowing that there was still hope for the galaxy. And a broken man named Darth Vader.
Ahsoka was brought back to reality and the distressed shriek finally registered with Ahsoka. She wasted no time and hurtled out of the hut's door. The shouting man didn't stop, however, his message was incoherent to Ahsoka. She didn't need to hear his message to know what it was he was screaming about. An immense Imperial star-destroyer loomed overhead, casting a shadow down on the small population of Lurin. There was no doubt about it- they had some for Ahsoka. It only dawned on Ahsoka when it was too late: she had endangered the people of Lurin. She seemed to do things without properly considering them more often than she would like to admit. Ahsoka let the guilt of a past life wash over her. She had sentenced the people of Lurin to slavery, death or worse, neverending torture. However, there was one last option. It was not ideal, but it would surely keep the inhabitants safe. Ahsoka could not let them get hurt because of her.
Too soon, stormtroopers spilt into the town and Ahsoka was sure what she would have to do.
Ahsoka strutted into the clutches of the dastardly Empire. Her hands wavered over her lightsabers.
"I will surrender. If you promise to leave the people of Lurin out of these matters. Let them be."
The probable commander stepped out into a clearing.
"We will keep your meagre people alive. Now surrender, Jedi."
Ahsoka held her hands in the air in compliance.
"I am no Jedi."
Even in her surrender, she was as confident as ever. The troopers held their blasters poised at her. Two soldiers hurried to either side of her: one forced binders onto her wrists and the other confiscated her lightsabers. Then they, rather violently, escorted Ahsoka onto a transport. She was taken to a room on the star-destroyer and forced to her knees. She watched as one of the troopers flung her sabers onto a nearby table.
Ahsoka noticed the tall figure of Anakin. He faced a window overlooking the peaceful world of Lurin. To her surprise, Ahsoka found herself studying her former master's golden, wavy locks. Anakin could feel Ahsoka's eyes, curiously, locked on the back of his head: willing his face to turn and become visible to her. He did not relent.
"This is the end for you, my apprentice." Anakin started.
"I've seen her, Anakin," Ahsoka stated. The two ex-Jedi shared long pause; Ahsoka tried to understand if he knew of his daughter and Anakin probed her mind to uncover the identity of this mysterious "her". It was soon apparent that Anakin did not know of Leia.
"Your daughter," Ahsoka filled in the blanks, awaiting his reaction.
"Leia."
A surge of emotions flowed through the force: confusion, guilt but most importantly an overwhelming, harrowing sense of sorrow. And, Anakin had only let out a fraction of what he was feeling- there was too much of this crippling grief to keep contained in one being. And so it had spilt out into the force. Allowing the pieces to finally fit together for Ahsoka: Padmé was gone. And Anakin had done it. Anakin had killed her. Ahsoka figured that Anakin must have loved Padmé. Loved her more than he loved himself. Loved her more than anything else in the universe. Loved her more than he ever loved Ahsoka.
Ahsoka wanted nothing more than to help take away the pain from Anakin. It killed her to realise that she added to the suffering he was already enduring. Her decision to leave the Jedi order had plagued her every single day. She knew that she would never be able to forgive herself. Anakin had been right. She had been selfish. And she had failed him.
Ahsoka buried her face in her hands. She realised that they had more in common than she had once thought, as she had seen on Mortis, they were both crippled by guilt. She needed Anakin to know that she too was riddled with sorrow. And it was leaving him that had caused the misery. She concentrated and after all the years completely addressing what she was feeling and accepting it.
Ahsoka was regretful. She was miserable. She had left the one person who had stood by her almost her whole life- the one person who did not give up on her when everyone else did. And after everything he had done for her, she repaid Anakin by abandoning him. Who knows what would have happened if she had stayed? Would Anakin have succumbed to the dark side? Ahsoka hated herself for what she had done to him. Her mind wandered back to the dreaded day. The moment she had failed her master and destroyed their relationship- almost beyond repair. Ahsoka's hands fell to the floor.
"You were right. I failed you. I deserted you. I'm so, so sorry." A single tear carved its way down her face.
"I understand, more than you realise your suffering. Not a day has gone by where I haven't been sorry. Where I haven't had to live with the decisions I made. Where I haven't remembered that I sacrificed everything because I was being selfish."
Anakin began to realise that Ahsoka felt the same pain that he did. He had been thinking about himself too when his wife needed him the most. And as a result, Padmé had died. Like master, like apprentice. Because Anakin had died. The man he used to be would always be buried with her.
"Ahsoka," Anakin stated.
Ahsoka knew she couldn't change the past; she had to move forward and atone for her wrongdoings.
"I know." he finished.
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Hi again y'all!
I hope you all noticed the references to when Ahsoka left the Jedi order & RoTS!
By the way, "Tinikin" is a mix of Ahsoka's usage of "Tinnies" for battle droids and "Anakin". If you enjoyed this chapter please vote & comment- I always reply. :)