© Amber Kalkes 2015
Chapter Four: Epiphany
The downtown scene is lively. That much no one can argue. Its one of the reasons the city has such a high population of young people. The University being another equally good but less exciting, reason. As I move closer to the string of clubs and bars, I can feel my heart speed up in my chest.
Lights flash in my face, many noises fill my ears and the limited space between bodies is already overwhelming. I'm not even in the club yet. There is just too much going on. I eye the growing waiting line outside the door and feel my hands shake. I can't do this. I can't be like these people. Turning on a heel, I start walking back towards my apartment when I hear a voice call out to me.
"Shoshanna!" Someone yells but I don't stop walking. A hand grabs my shoulder and I panic. Spinning around I move quickly out from under their hold only to feel my eyes widen when I see who it is.
"Melanie?"
She grins widely as she looks me over, "You look so cute! I didn't know you came to these kind of places!"
"I-I don't usually."
Melanie looks...well, exactly how I would expect her to look, attractive. Her hair is perfectly straight and parted in the middle to frame her heart shaped face, while her makeup is perfectly put together. Every time she blinks her eye lids sparkle in the neon lights and bring attention to the clear, blue color of her eyes. She's dressed in a short white dress, despite the cold, and a black leather jacket with black ankle boots on her feet.
"Well, do you want to come in with us?" She prompts when I don't come up with idle chitchat.
"I don't want to intrude."
She waves a dismissive hand, still grinning. "Are you kidding? Trevor is dying to meet you! I talk about you all the time and I think he's starting to think I've been making you up." She says the last bit with a laugh before talking a step towards me with what I think is her begging face, "Please, come with us? It'll be so fun."
I open my mouth to decline but someone bumps into my shoulder, distracting me. I glance up at the person who bumped into me and feel my breath catch in my throat. I don't see much of him and what I do see doesn't make any sense at all. Red eyes meet mine for only a second before he turns his face back forward. I feel like my heart is in my throat and I have a hard time catching my breath. His eyes couldn't have been red, that's impossible. It had to have been contacts or something.
"What an asshole," Melanie gasps before touching my shoulder, "Are you okay?"
I flinch back from her touch and force a small smile, "I'm okay. Just a little overwhelmed. I've never been to a club before."
"Really?"
I hum a yes and run a hand through my hair with a shaky hand. Shivering, I frown at the line, "Seems like a long wait."
"Not really. My cousin is actually the bouncer. He lets me in all the time."
I sigh and chew my lower lip. I don't want to go in there but what choice do I have? There's a high chance that the guy I'm looking for is in there lurking around. Looking over the nearby club again, I take a deep cleansing breath and try to muster up any courage I may have. Forcing one of my best and hopefully less creepy of my smiles I decide to try.
"Well we don't want to keep your boyfriend waiting any longer do we?"
Melanie's whole face lights up as she claps her hands with glee, "Oh my god! This is going to be so fun!"
Grabbing my hand, she starts to drag me back towards the club. She keeps talking about something but I've already tuned her out. A guy standing near the front of the line must have heard her though because he turns around and grins at us as we approach. He's average looking with light brown skin and buzzed down black hair but he has very beautiful light green eyes that almost mesmerize. His full lips turn up farther at the ends as he turns his gaze to me. I try to find a word to describe the color of his eyes when Melanie starts to introduce us.
"Trevor, this is Shoshanna from work. Shoshanna, this is my boyfriend, Trevor," She says with a gesture in each of our directions before smacking his shoulder, "See? I told you she was real."
He smiles and rolls his eyes before offering me his hand, "Hi. Nice to finally meet you."
I eye his hand but can't think of a polite way to avoid touching him. So, with much reluctance, I take him hand in mine, "You, as well."
I quickly take my hand back and tuck both my arms against my chest. Trevor frowns at me a little but quickly collects himself as he turns to Melanie, "Finally annoyed her enough to come and join us?"
Melanie bristles a little, "Actually, no. She was just wondering by when I spotted her. She would have caved eventually though. Right, Shoshanna?"
I nod and give a small smile. I really don't have much else to say to that and besides I'm a bit distracted. The idea that he could be here, in this very club, is making me anxious. I want to find him and just get this over with. The longer I continue this mingling façade, the quicker I want to end it. This isn't my place. These aren't my people. The urge to bolt is becoming stronger the long I stand out here so with obvious impatience, I decide to get the ball rolling.
"Its cold." I murmur quietly, "Should we head in?"
"Of course!" Melanie chirps before turning to Trevor, "This is her first time in a club."
"Really?" He asks with a kind smile in my direction, "Well, I think you'll like it. It's easy to lose yourself in a place like this."
I blink at him. Am I that obvious?
"I'm sure I will." I mumble as I move past him to follow Melanie towards the front of the line. The bouncer is a large man in his mid-thirties with short light brown hair and matching brown eyes. He has a tattoo on his neck that catches my eye. Is that a rose or a skull? It's hard to tell in this lighting.
"Thanks Pete!" Melanie yells before grabbing my hand again to lead me in with Trevor following after us.
My eyes widen at the sight before me. This place reminds me of a modern interpretation of an ancient Roman party. Half dressed people of all sexes luring each other into dancing, drinking or even hooking up in various places in the building. The lighting is sparse and the music loud enough to make my teeth rattle with every thump of the bass. Trevor was right about one thing: one could definitely lose themselves in a place like this.
"Isn't this great!" Melanie yells in my ear as she starts to sway a little to the music.
I nod, still wide eyed before swallowing thickly. To be honest, the scene is intimidating. A nearby couple momentarily grabs my attention as they passionately make out with each other. I turn away when the guy's hand disappears under the hem of her dress and feel my cheeks redden. I don't think I could ever let anyone that close to me, let alone let someone touch me like that.
"Drink?" Trevor yells over the music at me as he takes our jackets from us.
I shake my head but Melanie orders herself a drink. I continue to scan over the area looking for someone matching the description on the news but it's hard. There are a lot of dark haired, white males in the building.
"Here try this!" Melanie yells and hands me her drink. I take it from her and feel the burn of the alcohol in my throat as I swallow it along with a citrusy after taste. Making a face I pass it back to her making her laugh, "Not your thing?"
I shake my head and cough a little. That's incredibly strong.
"Do you want to dance?" She asks after a few minutes.
"I—"
"There's a guy staring at you!" She tells me, cutting me off. Nodding in the direction behind me, I turn around to see a sinewy blonde looking at me with a smirk. When he sees me looking at him his smile only widens.
I look away hastily and clench my hands into fists when I see him start to approach. My nails bury themselves into my palms and the pain of it keeps me from running in the opposite direction. Glancing at Melanie I see her looking at me with concern and that only makes me more anxious. I don't like that look, especially on someone who already likes to bury her nose in my business enough as it is.
"Hey!"
I jump back at the loud voice in my ear and a hand steadies me on the small of my back. I move away from it and look up into a pair of amused, dark colored eyes. He's much more attractive up close but still not my type. Do I even have a type? I think back on all my ex-crushes. No, I don't really have a type but if I did, this guy would not be it.
"Hi." Melanie answers for me, "What's your name?"
"Corey."
"Hi Corey, I'm Mel and this is Shoshanna." She says effortlessly with a sweeping gesture towards me.
Corey's dark eyes land on me and he smirks, "Hey. I saw you over there. I was wondering if you wanted to dance."
I shake my head and am about to answer but Melanie cuts me off, "She'd love to, wouldn't you Shoshanna?"
"I—"
"Great." Corey grins, "I'm not much of a dancer but I'd be willing to try."
Corey grabs my hand and gently leads me onto the dance floor but I don't dance. Maybe when I was little and mom tried to stick me in ballet but even that was short lived. Corey stands behind me and wraps a hand around my waist making me tense. I don't know what to do so I try to get a hint from the other couples. I look away quickly though because it looks too intimate. I feel like I'm intruding just watching them and my cheeks heat at what it does remind me of.
"Just move your hips a little." Corey instructs loudly in my ear and I grit my teeth. I really don't like his hand on my stomach like it is and even less so when he starts to grind against my behind. Still, I try to fit in and move my hips a little.
I'm actually getting into a little until he kisses my neck. I immediately pull his arms off me and push myself away from him. I don't acknowledge him calling after me as I walk away. Moving through the gyrating crowd of patrons, I try to find a place I can catch my breath. Hands, so many hands touch me, caress me and leave me feeling like I'm going to be sick. I can't escape because every time I flinch away I'm pushed into another body.
I need air and I need it now.
Pushing my way through the crowd I spot the bright red exit sign from a ways away. I focus on it as the light at the end of the tunnel and try to get to it as fast I can. My breathing is nearly in pants and my whole body is shaking with nerves. When I reach the end of the crowd I rush for the door and push it open. When the cold air hits my overheated face, I take in a few sharp inhales of air.
I lean against one of the brick walls at the opening of the outside alleyway and pull my flannel over shirt tighter against my body. Wrapping my arms around my middle and bend over trying to stop the bile rising in my throat. The feeling of all the disgusting hands on me plays over and over in my head and I gag a little in my mouth.
A muffled scream gets my attention and I look around trying to find out where the noise is coming from. I hear it again; surprised to see it seems to be close to me. Standing up straighter, I skim my hand against the brick as I walk a little deeper into the alley. I can't see much. It's dark but there's a muted light given off by one red naked light bulb outside another one of the club's back exits.
Squinting I see a man dressed in dark clothes with a woman in his arms. She's easier to see since she's the one facing me so I can make out her features. She has black long hair, which is messy and her eyes, also dark, are wide as she looks over his shoulder at me. Her mocha-skinned hands are like claws as she clings to his covered arms. Her long red nails digging into the fabric of his jacket as she attempts to hold herself up. She looks scared but also blissful, which is confusing.
Suddenly, her eyes seem to finally register me. Her darkly painted lips part and widen into a quiet scream. Now, I really see the fear and realize this isn't just some couple's embrace. I'm frozen in my spot. I don't know what to do but I know that something should be done. Parting my lips, I must have done something because the man suddenly stills.
Slowly he detaches himself from her form and turns his head in my direction. I feel my stomach drop to my toes as glowing red eyes meet mine. I notice long pointed fangs marred with blood as he bares his teeth at me and feel my mind begin to reel. An impossible word pops into my head but I push it away quickly. They don't exist and even if they did, what would they be doing here of all places?
Despite my denial, it becomes harder to push away the theory when my eyes see blood staining his chin as well. I can't seem to look away from his eyes and the longer I look the longer he stares back. He seems to snap out of it though when the woman in his arms begins to struggle. When she attempts to scream, he quickly snaps her neck, stopping her movement and letting her fall to the tarmac below.
He faces me fully and I take an instinctual step back. He narrows his crimson red eyes at me before giving me a menacing smile. My blood runs cold and I put my hands up in some pathetic gesture of surrender. I'm not even in control of myself. It's my traitorous body that has the control as it starts to give in to the flight reflex. I'm about to bolt when an arm wraps around my waist and slams my back into the nearby brick wall.
Now I'm face to face with a vampire, something I never thought would be possible. Blinking rapidly I look up at him with pure fear. It surprising to me that I feel fear. I never felt fear when I tried to kill myself, just conviction in my actions. It felt right to be doing that but this isn't like that. I'm not in control of the situation and that has me scared out of my wits.
His pale hand wraps around my neck and I let out a gasp as it tightens around my throat. My whole body is shaking but I don't look away from his eyes. I don't know why I do it but I figure it comes from the last reserves of whatever courage I may have left in me. Closing my eyes I slowly angle my head away from him, offering him my neck.
Just do it, I plead to him in my head, Just do it now.
Suddenly he's gone. I slump to the dirty ground in a heap with my heart hammering in my chest and my throat feeling a little bruised. I look around the alley but there's no trace of him. Tears begin to build up in my eyes as I cover my mouth to stop a building sob from escaping. I don't know if it's in relief or agony that he didn't kill me but its unstoppable once it starts.
After a few minutes of this, I steady myself against the wall as I get to my feet. Wiping my damp cheeks with the palms of my hands, I'm down to just halting breaths. I stumble closer to the mouth of the alley and look around the scene. As I begin to speed walk back into the crowd I wonder what stopped him from killing me.
Maybe he wasn't interested in you, the uncharitable part my brain provides.
Maybe he wasn't. I don't know and to be honest I don't want to know. This was a stupid idea anyway and considering my reaction when faced with the reality of it, it wasn't for me. Wrapping my arms around myself I start walking home without my coat, heartbroken and without a shred of dignity left.