((THIS CHAPTER IS INTENSE AS HELL AND I WANNA GIVE YOU GUYS A WARNING BUT I ALSO DON'T WANT TO SPOIL THE CHAPTER SO JUST KNOW THAT YOU'VE BEEN WARNED))
I kicked pebbles as I walked, my hands in my pockets. Bonnie was still in my mind. I couldn't believe him. I love the guy! He can't just blow me off when I confess my feelings for him. I know he had to feel the type of chemistry I felt. When we touched each other, he had to have felt that static.
I heard a car slow down behind me. I turned around to see a burgundy red HHR. I continued to walk, ignoring it, although that probably wasn't the best option. I should have ran.
"Mutt!"
I turned around again.
Sticking their head out of the window was a white girl. Her hair was blond and she wore caked up makeup. She didn't look familiar to me but my name gets around so I'm not surprised she knows me.
"Where you going?" She asked.
"Anywhere but here." I said, blinking the tears away. I didn't need her to see me cry. Nobody has seen me cry except for Taylor and even then I didn't want him to see me cry.
"You wanna ride?"
I let out a chuckle, "I'm gay. I don't get brought by females."
"No, I know. We go to the same school. I know your brothers."
She knew my brothers. Well, I didn't get along with any of my brothers so getting in the car with her would be dumb. Next thing I know, she would have me in an abandoned house getting jumped. I kept walking, not replying back to the girl.
"It's freezing out here, Mutt."
I stopped and looked at the girl, "you're fucking persistent."
She smiled, "I'm caring."
I decided to get in her car after she kept begging me to get in. It smelled of cigarette smoke. The car had comfortable fur seats but it was trashy. Cigarette buds and chip bags were littered all over her car floor.
"Do you know where West Village is?" I asked her.
"That neighborhood with the big houses?" She questioned.
"Yeah. Take me there."
"What're you doing going to the rich neighborhood?" She asked.
I ignored her. She didn't need to know anything. I just wanted to see Taylor.
I ended up dozing off but when I came to, the car was stopped in a field. The girl was nowhere to be seen but in front of the car were a group of guys. I noticed Marcus was one of them.
I sat up, catching one of the guys attention. He pointed at me, next thing I know all eyes were on me. Feeling uneasy, I tried going for the locks on the drivers side but was too slow. The passenger door was opened and I was dragged out by a guy.
I knew this guy. His name was Brock Cleveland. He's the meathead on the hockey team. He was also the biggest guy at school. He smiled at me, his deep dimples showing.
"Hey, Mutt." He picked me up by my shirt, putting me on my feet.
I was scared. I told that bitch to drop me off at Taylors house, not some bonfire. I searched for Marcus. He was sitting near this girl named Nina, completely ignoring me. I called his name.
No answer.
"Oh Marcus? Yeah, Marcus is busy. I'll keep you company buddy." He threw his large arm around my shoulder, leading me to the logs.
We sat down.
"Loosen up a bit, I'm not going to bite." He pulled something out of his pocket.
It was a bag full of a white substance. My first thought was cocaine. Crazy fucking white boy.
"Here, this'll help you." He grabbed my hand and placed the coke on the side of my hand, "there."
"I'm not... I don't do cocaine." I said, my voice shaking.
"It's not cocaine. It's angel dust. It's way better."
Angel dust, cocaine, same thing.
"Brock, I don't do this-"
"Sniff it!" His loud voice boomed, catching most of everyones attention.
I started shaking from fear. I called for Marcus again but he still continued to ignore me.
"Drop my drugs and I kill you." He whispered, staring into my eyes. "Sniff the dust."
Hesitant, I did as told. I sniffed the drugs.
Brocks frown instantly turned into a smile. "See, wasn't so bad. Now, the other nostril."
"I-"
"Mutt! I'm not kidding around! Do it!"
I looked around. If I ran, I wouldn't make it far. These guys ran everyday and would catch me but maybe I'd be able to call someone. Taylor, the cops. Someone.
Brock wouldn't kill me, he'd beat my ass but he wouldn't kill me. It's not like I haven't gotten beat up before. Before I would make a run for it though, I called out for Marcus one last time. He looked at me, I gave him this pleading look and mouthed the word "please". He looked away though, ignoring me.
"I'll give you till the count of three." Brock started.
More members of the soccer team approached me. Three more. They sat by me, watching the scene go down in amusement.
"Brock, please."
Brock grabbed my hair, yanking my head back.
"Don't you want to have a good time? I won't hurt you, okay, just take one more sniff." He let go of my hair.
I felt a tear slip before sniffing the other line from my hand.
"Aw, he's crying." One of the boys said.
His jacket read Jake, the other two had on jackets that read Kyle and Vince.
Brock wiped my tear away, "just wait for the drugs to kick in and then we'll have a little fun."
I sat, my knees to my chest.
I know Marcus and I never got along but if we switched shoes, I would save him. What was I expecting though? This was Marcus we were talking about. He'd save me in private but leave me out to fend for myself in public.
I sat next to Brock for what seemed like forever and I still didn't feel anything. His drugs were weak as fuck. I guess him and his friends were getting impatient because Brock huffed, looking over at me.
"Give him some more." Kyle said.
"I don't have anymore." Brock stated.
"Well fuck, I can't wait anymore." Kyle whined.
I looked at them, "wait for what?"
They all ignored me so I decided to ask again.
"Fuck it." Brock grabbed me, throwing me on the ground with great power. He straddled me. I tried pushing him off but like I said, Brock was a big fellow.
"Yeah!" Vince yelled.
The three guys stood up, anxiously, unzipping their pants. All types of thoughts rushed through my mind as I tried my best to fight Brock off of me.
"Marcus help me!" I screamed.
I searched for him but didn't see him. He left me.
Brock needed no assistance as he ripped my pants off. Everyone else payed no attention as Brock stripped me naked. They just turned a blind eye.
"Get me a condom, there's no telling what this slut has." Brock demanded as he flipped me around on my back
I tried pushing up but failed.
"Hold him." Brock said.
Vince and Kyle did as told. Jake handed Brock a condom. I screamed for someone to hear me.
"Shut up." Brock said, pushing Vince and Kyle away. He grabbed my waist, bringing me into his crotch.
I began to cry as Brock entered himself into me. I felt a part of me die as Brock stroked his member in and out of me.
---
Waking up in a field wet, bloodied, and alone was something I never thought I'd do yet here I was. I lifted my head from the grass. Beer cans were everywhere.
I felt a breeze on my butt, I looked down at my bottom. My pants were to my knees. I struggled to pull them up with the little strength I had.
I felt a sharp pain as I tried standing up. I let out a cry as I tried standing up again. I looked down at myself. My clothes were ruined. Soaked in blood in liquid.
I tried my best to walk. I didn't know where I was or where I was going but I just kept walking.
Two or so hours passed before I came upon the bus station.
I went home.
Thankful the door was unlocked, I walked into the house. It was a hustle walking upstairs but I did it. I made my way into the bathroom, locking the door behind me.
I slowly sat down, wincing at the pain. I kicked my shoes off, then pulled my clothes off. With my knees to my chest, I cried. I felt... empty.
In front of me on the bathroom sink sat a pill bottle. I stared at it. This was my first time ever thinking about actually committing suicide.
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