There's an open seat at the end of the bar. I sit down, ordering my signature drink—lemon drop martini. As I place a ten-dollar bill on the bar, a hand presses over mine. I look up to a pair of light brown eyes and a shy smile.
"Hi. Can I help you?" I ask timidly.
"Sorry, but a beautiful woman such as yourself shouldn't have to pay for a drink. Ever." His smile widens and he extends his hand. "I'm Luke. Nice to meet you."
Not wanting to be impolite, I return the handshake. "Hi, I'm Perrie. Thanks for the drink."
"So, are you from Virginia Beach?" He asks and takes a sip of his beer. Really? How original.
"No." I give a short laugh. "I hate to be rude, Luke, but I'm meeting someone."
"He isn't here though, is he?" Luke asks.
Before I have a chance to reply, a deep, sexy voice rasps, "Yes, she is," from behind me.
Chills run down my spine. My body tightens as my breath hitches. A warm hand slowly travels up my back and rests on my bare shoulder. Jade's presence is so distinct. I know it's her even without turning around. Her thumb rests on the back of my neck, rubbing up and down. The entire lower part of my body is warm and tingling from her possessive touch.
Jade's voice is low and warning, and I can only imagine the look she's giving Luke right now. "Perrie,"—she leans close and presses her lips to my temple—"sorry to keep you waiting. Our table is ready."
Luke's face is stoic as he returns to his beer. I smile at him and place the ten-dollar bill back on the counter. Poor guy. He didn't stand a chance.
I gather my things and hear Jade inhale loudly as I stand. When I turn to her she's standing there with her jaw slack. I look around to see what has her attention, but she's staring at me.
I try to break her trance. "Jade?"
"You look breathtaking. I can't take my eyes off you." She looks me up and down, stopping leisurely at my neckline before her eyes make their way back up to my face.
"Ummm, thanks." I don't know how to take her compliment, the way she said it, or the way she seems to be undressing me with her eyes. I'm suddenly very hot—and bothered.
"You don't see it, do you?"
"See what?" I ask.
"Every person in this bar wants you right now." She takes a step forward, never breaking eye contact. "Every person wants to be me right now." Another step. "And none of them see what I see." One more step. We're now toe-to-toe as I lift my head to stare into her eyes. My heart beats so loud in my ears I have to strain to hear her words. She places her hand on my hip, pulling me against him. "I'm going to kiss you now, and I don't know if I'll be able to stop."
She leans her head and hooks her other hand around my back, slowly sliding it up as the gap between us closes. Her full lips are only a breath away when my lids flutter and shut. Then I feel her lips, soft and warm, pressing against mine. She pulls me even closer, tightening her grip and intensifying the kiss. I thread my fingers into her hair as her tongue sweeps across my lips, seeking entrance. I've died and gone to heaven. This is one of those moments I'll remember forever. Every girl dreams about a kiss like this. I sigh and give her access as our tongues brush against each other. All too soon Jade loosens her hold and ends the kiss. She lets out a soft breath and then presses a brief kiss to my lips once more. Her voice is raspy against my ear. "That should've been our first kiss."
I'm afraid to open my eyes and face a repeat rejection like last time. I lower my arms, still holding on to her shoulders, and take a deep breath. Hesitantly, I open my eyes and look up. Intensity like I've never seen dominates her stare, and my doubts about her wanting me, about this crazy attraction between us, disappear. With that one look she's torn down every wall around my heart. All my futile reasons to stay away from her are gone, replaced by this undeniable pull toward Jade Thirlwall. They simply don't exist anymore, and I realize I never had a chance against her. I open my mouth to speak but can't find my voice. I've never known this kind of feeling. It's heady and intoxicating, filling me with fear and excitement. She gently places her finger under my chin, pushing my jaw shut, and the perfect white teeth reappear with her warm smile.
My smile is shy when I finally speak. "So ... dinner?" Dinner? That's my fabulous response? My cheeks flare red—I'm so embarrassed. She makes me so self-conscious. The confidence she exudes is hard to keep up with.
Thankfully, she smiles and nods. "Yes, let's eat and talk."
Jade places her hand on the small of my back and I grab my drink before making our way over to the hostess. Once we're seated, I basically down my martini and order another one. My palms are sweating and I can't stop fidgeting.
The restaurant is beautiful. It's done in rich blues and greens. There's a large oyster bar on the right wall and the entire back wall is windows overlooking the ocean. Our table is situated with a perfect view of the water. I look around, smiling at the opulence of the scenery and clientele.
Jade clears her throat as a beautiful lady walks toward us with a smile on her face. "Lucy!" She stands. "How are you? It's been a long time," she says as they hug and clap each other on the back.
Lucy glances down at me and back over at Jade. "Yes, mate, it has been. Didn't mean to interrupt."
Jade smiles and shifts her weight. "No problem. This is Perrie. She's the new publicist working with me on the cosmetics company."
"Oh, well, I thought maybe you were finally getting back out there." Lucy places her hand on her shoulder and Jade's eyes narrow as she subtly shakes her head.
Hmmm ... that's weird. Back out there? And what's with the head shake? My stomach plummets as fear grips my heart. A hundred scenarios race through my mind.
"I should get back to my dinner." Jade's tone is flat, lacking the buoyancy it held moments before. "It was good seeing you. I'll call next time I'm in town."
"You know Lau—"
"See you, Lucy," Jade cuts in.
"Right. See you, mate. Don't be a stranger." She pats her back and Jade returns to her seat.
She won't look my way. Gone is the warm and sensual woman from a few minutes ago. I can feel the tension coming off her in waves. I want to say something but—well, I don't really know what the hell any of this is. I'm not her girlfriend or even her friend, really. I'm her publicist. She made that crystal clear. I'm such a fool. I knew it was a mistake to get all dressed up and think there could be anything more to this. Taking her cue, I straighten my back and decide to rebuild my wall.
The waitress comes over and takes our orders, and Jade starts talking about the business. An hour and three martinis later, dinner is done. I want to go to bed. I'm upset and exhausted. I kept myself in check. I didn't get all gooey—I did good. It's not as if she was being charming anyway. We created a plan on where she wants to see things go. She asked a lot of questions regarding the market and buying behaviors, but we steered clear of anything other than the end goal and how she wants to handle the launch. I gave her my best suggestions on how we get there, but the entire dinner Jade barely spoke other than to ask pointed business questions.
Resting my hand on the table and fiddling with the martini glass, I'm lost in my disappointment. Jade blows out a deep breath and leans forward then back again. Looking into her eyes, I can see the turmoil churning. After a few seconds, she leans forward again and places her hand over mine.
Glancing at our joined hands, I pull mine out of her grasp and place it on my lap, refusing to look at her. I'm hurt and angry. Two times she's kissed me and two times she's rejected me. The last time was different but the pain is the same.
Her deep voice breaks through my ruminating. "Perrie, don't pull away."
"I'm not." I say sharply. I didn't pull away—she did. And so what if I did? She's not anything more than a client and I don't have to get personal with her.
She narrows her eyes and places her hand on the table palm up. "Yes. You are. We need to talk about this. Please give me your hand."
I look down at her hand, open and waiting for me. All I want to do is place my hand in her, to feel her skin against mine. Yet I don't want to. I close my eyes and shake my head.
"Please. I want to explain."
I lift my eyes and see nothing but sincerity. Her hand is just lying on the table, waiting, and I'm paralyzed. I remember my rule and promise—I won't allow any person to hurt me again, not that I can prevent it entirely. I place my hand on the table next to her, sending my own message. "Explain, then."
"I'm sorry. I didn't expect to see Lucy. She was like a sister to me. There's a lot of history and bad blood between us, to say the least." She inches her hand closer to mine. "I wasn't sure what to say and didn't want you to be in the middle of it." I'm torn. I understand being surprised, but why wait until now to say anything? She places her hand on top of mine and her voice is apologetic. "I want us to figure out whatever this is between us. Can you forgive me for being an bitch?"
In all the years I was with Zayn, I don't think she ever apologized. I've been around Jade for two days and she's not hesitated once. There's something now, though, about how cold she grew that has me on edge. Her hand glides up and down the back of mine, but it's her eyes that break through my trepidation. "I forgive you for being an ass. So let's talk." I sigh and she grips my hand.
"I can't and I won't lie to you. I feel something for you. I have since the first day we met." Her eyes blaze as she gazes at me. "I think about you all the time. I want to kiss you every time I look at you. Every time I try to focus at work, somehow I'm distracted thinking of you. I can't explain it but I think you feel it too."
I look away, trying to gather my thoughts and express them in a way that doesn't make me feel stupid. How can I explain it to her when I can barely describe it myself? "I don't know how to fully put it into words." I take a deep breath. "I've been hurt. When we met, obviously, I was wearing a ring." Her finger rubs across my naked ring finger. I look up and she has a small smile, but her eyes are urging me to keep going. "Anyway, she ... well, she wrecked me. To say things ended badly would be putting it mildly. But honestly, you're my client, Jade. You could ruin everything I've worked for. I'm not willing to throw my career away." I hesitate before saying more. There's no way I'm ready to tell her what's in my heart. I already know where this is going. I'm on a one-way trip to more heartache. Every single person in my life has chosen someone or something else over me. Jade will be no different.
"I wouldn't ruin anything for you. I'm saying there's something between us. Can you honestly tell me you feel nothing?"
Nothing? No, I definitely can't say that. Her brown eyes pierce through me. I'm searching, trying to read any emotion telling me I should turn her away. She smiles expectantly and I sigh. "No. But I don't trust myself with you. It's so intense sometimes and if I get caught up ... " I trail off, afraid to finish my sentence.
She flips my palm over and traces the inside of my hand, sending tingles through my body. "Look, I'm saying let's take it slow. Have some fun. No matter what, I wouldn't jeopardize your career."
"So, what? We date? I don't know what you're looking for. I don't want another serious relationship right now. I can't ..." Emotion chokes me. I'm not sure why all of a sudden I'm struggling. I guess I just don't want another Zayn. I'm not strong enough to deal with it.
"Yes, we date. We'll be spending a lot of time together anyway. So either we keep fighting this ... pull or whatever this is ..." she trails off and runs her hand through her hair. "I don't want to pretend anymore. Being around you, seeing you, listening to you laugh, just makes me want you that much more."
I want what she's offering so much, but the other part of me is fighting it. "And what if this ends badly? How do we work together day in and day out?" It's a valid question, and it's really the last flimsy excuse I can voice to her.
She places her palm flat against mine and smiles tentatively. "We're both professionals. I already told you I wouldn't hurt your career." She chuckles.
"Why are you laughing?"
"I've never had to work so hard to get a woman to date me. I always thought I was a pretty good catch." She lets out a short laugh again.
"I guess it further proves I don't find you charming or endearing." I smile at my line of bullshit. She's absolutely charming, so much so that I'm fighting the urge to crawl across the table and into her lap.
Jade stands and strides to my side of the table with her hand extended. "Dance with me."
Her strong hand engulfs mine as she helps me stand. It's symbolic of how I feel when I'm around her—consumed. We walk to the middle of the small dance floor. Jade places her hand on my hip and her warmth penetrates my dress. Slowly she lifts my palm and places it on her chest, right over her heart. I can feel its steady beating, the constant thrum as it calms my own. I close my eyes and sink into her as I listen to the singer croon about coming away with her for a while. If only I could get away for a while, ignore all the painful turns my life has taken. She leads us through the song as I replay the last few weeks. Somehow, Jade has taken my life by storm. She's found a way to make me feel alive, as if a light switch has been turned on, illuminating all my dark corners. She sharpens my senses and fills me with so many different things—excitement, fear, humor, anger. It terrifies me.
The song ends and I look into her kind, warm eyes. She leans in purposefully and gives me a tender kiss.
I smile and a soft giggle comes out.
"What?" Jade asks.
"Oh, nothing." I shrug. "Just rethinking—maybe you are charming."
"You haven't seen anything yet."
I bet I haven't.