Then something Ezra didn't expect to happen happened, he collapsed once more onto the floor dropping all of the technicians, who were now unconscious due to the loss of air. They all hit the floor with a thump.
Ezra was then engulfed with a memory, for years and years back.
***
"Focus. Focus on letting go." It was Kanan's voice, coming from across the roof of the Ghost.
"Letting go? Rather hold on, if you don't mind." His past self joked.
"Enough jokes. Focus."
"I'm trying."
"Do or do not. There is no try."
"What does that even mean? How can I do something if I don't try to do it?"
"Well, see actually, that one always confused me too. But Master Yoda sure used to say it a lot." Kanan admitted, feeling as if puzzling his padwan wasn't the answer here.
"I really thought this Jedi stuff would be more interesting. No wonder the old religion died." Zeb piped in and yawned.
Chopper beeped agreement.
"Do something. Amuse me. "Use the Force!"" Zeb said and smirked."
"Does he have to be here?" Ezra complained and shot a death look Zeb's way.
"He's annoying, but there will always be distractions. You need to learn to focus through them. Here. Let's try something else." Kanan advised, pulling out his own lightsaber.
"When do I get my own?" The young Ezra begged.
"Having a laser sword doesn't make you a Jedi."
***
The real Ezra, put his head to the hilt of the red blade.
"A laser sword doesn't make you a Jedi."
***
"Gets me closer." Ezra said, taking the saber from Kanan.
"Careful! There's a control on the side that adjusts the length to your height." Kanan warned, worried.
"I think it should be a little shorter." The lasat teased the kid and Chopper beeped laughter at that remark.
"Okay. Close your eyes. Let him have it, Chopper." Kanan told he droid, ignoring their teases about Ezra.
Chopper happily threw a milk carton at Ezra. He tried to block it, but it hit him on the shin instead.
"Be precise. Keep the blade up." Kanan said, trying to find a way to help him more.
"That's it, kid. Use your body to slow down that trash." Zeb joked and Chopper continued to throw cartons at Ezra, him missing most of them and the cartons hit his body.
"No. You're not focusing. " Kanan sighed, frustrated.
Chopper got a little crazy with chucking the milk cartons at Ezra and soon Ezra lost his balance on the top of the Ghost.
"Kid!" Zeb yelled concerned as Ezra fell off the top of the Ghost.
The world seemed to go in slow motion as Kanan watched his padawan fall off the edge.
"Aaah!" Ezra screamed and began to fall towards Lothal's surface. He expected to feel his bones crack into a million pieces. "Whoa!Whoa! What the--" He was floating up now, towards the Ghost, utterly confused and surprised he wasn't dead.
"Zeb!" Kanan yelled, worried he couldn't hold Ezra any longer.
"Got him!" Zeb celebrated and pulled the kid on board.
"You weren't focused." Kanan disciplined.
"Tough to focus when I'm falling to my death." The loth rat sassed immediately back.
"You wouldn't have been falling to your death if you were focused. You're undisciplined and full of self-doubt."
"And whose fault is that, Master?" Ezra said, but he knew it was partly his fault.
"It's difficult to teach." Kanan sighed.
"He means it's difficult to teach you." Zeb said and laughed.
***
The flashback soon faded away after that, but Zeb's words were ringing in his ears.
"it's difficult to teach you." But Kanan did it anyway.
Ezra realized he could interpret this two different ways. That the Jedi were weak or that Kanan cared about him, that Kanan tried to show him the right path. That it was Ezra's own fault he was dead.
***
Ani slashed off his other arm and Kanan fell, breathing hard.
"Don't please."
"Too late." Ani said with a smirk and rose her lightsaber to decapitate him.
"I love you Ezra!" He yelled as Ani took the final stroke and Kanan fell dead.
Ezra snapped the second sisters neck as he heard Kanan yell out.
"No Kanan!" He yelled and ran over to Kanan.
"HEAL HIM!" Ezra yelled at Ani.
"I can't heal-"
***
A rough coughing for one corner of the room, jolted him out of another flashback. For a second Ezra freaked out that he couldn't see anything, that it was all darkness, then realized the past.
There was a girl, around 18, coughing up a small stream of blood from being choked by Ezra. On reflex, Ezra dragged the girl towards him. The girl's eyes widened as she was pulled by an invisible force towards him. She looked at him with her amber colored eyes, full of fear.
"What are you going to do to me?" Her voice said, shaky as she turned her face away for his and kept her eyes towards the ground. Ezra was laying on his back, feeling pretty angry, while the girl was on her stomach, starring at the concrete like it was her only hope for life.
"I don't know, yet. I'm thinking." Ezra said, coldly and was surprised when his voice broke in the middle of the sentence. Despite herself the girl let out a laugh. She soon regretted it feeling the tight grip of the force around her neck once again. "I'm going to kill you then if you want an answer to that."
"Just......t-tell me why-" She choked out, between deep breaths. The air was coming slower and slower into her lungs.
"Why what?" He snapped and released his grip on her enough so she could talk.
"Why are you going to kill me?" She said, thankful for the air that was coming easier now. "I can't die a useless death."
Ezra puzzled the question for a moment. "What's your name?"
"Maluna, my name is Maluna. Why do you ask?" She said, still unable to run due to Ezra's grip on her throat.
I must of smashed the chip a bit, when I choked her the first time. Ezra realized. The chips on the non force users must be less strong, probably to save money.
"You pose a fair point, Maluna." He finally talked, avoiding her question. "Why am I going to kill you?" He put one hand behind his head and looked up at the ceiling as if it posed the answer, the other he still used to hold the teen in place. He tightened his grip on her throat, allowing her only to think her last thoughts.
This can't be the Tekara, I know about. I wouldn't be choking to death if it was we are all on the same side. The girl thought as Ezra listened in, she was fighting both memories now as well. Ezra knew the feeling all too well. I have to go home, I have to find Naku. He needs me. A vision of a small young boy around a year old ran across her mind. But I have to stay here I have to follow orders. NO I DON'T! Her own mind yelled, surprising Ezra with the force of the young girl's inner voice. But where is home anymore? She continued losing hope. Is Naku even alive? Do I have anything to live for? Yes, I do. I have to have hope or I lose who I am. Lose my own child, I worked so hard to save.
She knows who she is. She has that going for her. He realized and tried to block out the rest of her rambling thoughts. I've seen that boy before. He's in one of the medic bays being taken care of. At least Thrawn's not as heartless as to kill children.
But I am.....
He remembered it all the villages he murdered for Vader to put fear into the hearts of the planet's population. The kids, the woman and the men all lying dead because of him.
Do I really want to take another life?
Don't be weak she's just a pawn, her life doesn't matter.
Maluna's breaths were getting more strained and weak. He could feel her mind failing.
But her life did matter, she has a kid Ezra, she's a single mom. That child deserves to grow up with a mother, a chance that I lost because of the empire. No that was because you were too weak to stop it. He tried to ignore that thought, but part of him believed that. The only person forcing me to kill her is myself. The darkness that I allowed to consume me. The darkness that Kanan fought so hard to keep me from, protect me.
Now what do I do?
A/N: lol I just couldn't stop writing hope you enjoyed this longer chapter :)