A/N - I sacrificed my sleep for this! You all better pray for good things for me!
Jk
More Chanpen. And I promise this is the last you will have of her thoughts.
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[ continued from previous chapter ]
Kongpob was picking on her. She didn't know what she had done wrong. But whatever the other freshmen did Kongpob questioned her for it. She tried her best to remain calm. But Kongpob had been completely out of character. Even the rest of the hazers looked at her sympathetically. Did Kongpob hate her for looking like his boyfriend? But how was it her fault ? She was only trying to be friendly. And Kongpob hadn't seem to mind it at the beginning. She hated the way he treated her. He was being unfair.
After awhile Kongpob had stopped singling her out. Now he completely ignored her. Even when they came face to face and she tried to greet him with a wai he pretended not to see her. Chanpen couldn't understand what Kongpob's problem was, but it was frustrating her .
*
She had heard Aim tell the people at the safe sex campaign how Kongpob 'gets a lot of action ' and stuff a bunch of condoms in his wallet. It was pretty clear it was a joke. Kongpob had blushed into a deep shade of red. Chanpen laughed to herself. The seniors did have a sense of humor. It seems they weren't always strict.
*
She watched Kongpob stare at the sea with a solemn expression on his face. He seemed to be deep in thought. He looked lonely despite being in the middle of a crowd. She had walked over and invited him for a snack. He politely declined. But he looked at her with wonder. His eyes twinkling. She could feel butterflies in her stomach. Kongpob was a hard person to understand.
*
Some of the fellow freshman had sneaked an assortment of drinks. She wondered how they had managed to get their hands on so much drinks. Most of it were fruit juice. But they had a secret stash of alcohol which they had mixed together so the seniors wouldn't find out. She hated the smell and the taste of alcohol. But as a courtesy she had taken a drink . It was a celebration after all. She wondered if it was only her and her best friend Aom , the only people who remained sober.
Her friends had pushed her to invite Kongpob for a drink. Their reasoning being he spoke to her the most. Kongpob insisted he couldn't drink because he had to keep an eye on everyone else. But after some persuasion he agreed to come over for a beer.
They were having a great time. They danced, they sang, they even managed to get Kongpob to the dance floor. He really did not know how to dance. He was awkward and they had teased him trying to teach him some steps. It was hard to recognize if this was the same Kongpob who terrified them at the beginning of the semester.Chanpen noticed how intently Kongpob watched her dance. He didn't seem to take his eyes off of her face. It made her feel nervous. But it also made her feel special. What if Kongpob liked her not only for her face?
*
She couldn't sleep. Kongpob had chased them to bed warning them not to sneak out because he would be watching. He seemed slightly intoxicated but sober enough. Maybe he had a couple of drinks. Is Kongpob going to stay by the sea all night? Will he be alright? Was he alone?It was a bit windy at night. She had to know for sure. Will she be in trouble for being outside at this time? But the person she wanted to see was Kongpob. So there wouldn't be a problem would there?
*
She found Kongpob passed out on a chair by the sea. She looked at the table infront of him. It seemed Kongpob had drank from their leftover punch. Did he know it was mixed with other drinks? She had the same and it did taste more fruity than strong. The position he was in didn't seem comfortable at all. He would definitely be sore if he stayed like this until morning. She shook him awake. After a few times of vigorous shaking he finally opened his eyes. Extremely bloodshot. How much did he drink!!
" P' Kongpob! Wake up! Let's get you to your room "
Kongpob looked at her disoriented
" huh? "
" P' ! Don't go back to sleep! Come on! You will be sore in the morning if you sleep here"
" P' !!! "
Kongpob looked at her angrily. Then his eyes softened. He reached out and held her face in his hands..
" P' Arthit! You are here! " then he suddenly pushed her face away " No... it's not you..you left me "
Left?
Had they broken up?
Was that why he had been giving her a hard time?
" P' Kongpob. It's Chanpen . Now come on. Let's go! "
She tried to get him to his feet. After a struggle she managed to out his arm around her shoulder. They moved forward little by little .Kongpob looked at her face.
" I missed you "
" P' you just saw me few hours ago "
" why did you leave me all alone. Don't you know how much I miss you? "
Ohh.. he still thinks it's his boyfriend. What had happened? Is this why Kongpob had gotten drunk? Now that she thought about it, not once had she ever gotten a glimpse of Kongpob's boyfriend for all those months she had known him.
" P' Kongpob. You are heavy. Please hurry up "
" P' Kongpob?" Kongpob had giggled. " P' Arthit why are you calling me P' ? "
Chanpen rolled her eyes. This head hazer was a weird drunk.
Kongpob kissed her on the cheek.
" why don't you let me touch you? Don't you think I'm desirable? Don't you find me sexy? "
Chanpen was taken aback. What was going on?
" don't you know how much I have been waiting for that day to come? But you always find an excuse "
" P' Kongpob. I'm sure you are sexy. Now please let's walk faster "
Kongpob pushed her away..
" NO! NO! YOU ALWAYS REJECT ME! CANT YOU SEE MY HEART? " He screamed.
" P' Kongpob! Keep your voice down! "
The shouting had seem to tire Kongpob. He was swaying again. She grabbed hold of him. They were almost there.
*
" oon.. "
" P' ? Are you warm? "
" oon! "
" what do you want P'? Do you want to take your tshirt off? "
" OON! "
Chanpen was completely exhausted. Having to support a man's weight surely was not easy as they showed on tv.
She helped him take off his tshirt. She thought he was going to keep screaming if she didn't. She managed to lie him on the bed. Kongpob kept mumbling. She sat on the bed. She was quite tired. She looked at Kongpob's face. She had never been this close to him. His face was red, but still he managed to look handsome. She ran her fingers through his hair.
Did he break up with his boyfriend? What did he mean by left? From what Kongpob had been saying ,did it mean they hadn't taken their relationship further? But her roommate had told her they had been dating for two years. Was Kongpob in an unhappy relationship?
She looked at his face sadly. Her eyes moved to his lips. Maybe a small kiss wouldn't hurt would it? She had never kissed before. His lips were inviting.
She leaned in and kissed him lightly. She kissed him a little bit more.
She was shocked when Kongpob's hands grabbed her face and started kissing her hard. He managed to roll them over trapping Chanpen underneath him. She tried to push him. But he was strong and heavy. She managed to pry her lips away from his
" P! Stop! Let me go P' "
" my sun.. I love you! Don't stop me today.. please.. I need more.. " he kissed her harder. His lips on her neck.He forced her hands which were trying to push his chest over her head and pinned it tightly. Her heart was beating fast. She couldn't move. But her body seemed to give in and she kissed him back. While one of his hands held both her wrists, the other moved her shirt up and was going down her side pulling on the waistband of her shorts. Her eyes opened in shock. She used all her might and pushed Kongpob away. She rushed out of the bed and looked at Kongpob who had fallen asleep.
Chanpen sat by the foot of the bed. Tears streaming down her face. Her heart thudded against her chest.She was terrified of what had happened. She hadn't expected it. It had been her fault. She kissed Kongpob first. Hearing about his unsuccessful love life had made her lose her senses.
*
The cold water spayed onto her body made her wince. Flashbacks of Kongpob's hand on her waist, moving downwards came back to her mind.
Maybe she can save Kongpob from the unhappy relationship.
*
"You made love to me P'"
*
It had been the first of many wrong decisions she had made. And now she was paying for it.
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A/N - ok so I'm not familiar with the Thai alcohol situation. So I wrote according to my knowledge. For those who don't know the fruity 'girly ' drink has much, much more alcohol percentage than a beer. (If you are from the Caribbean you will know what I'm talking about quite well. Kudos to my friends who taught me that secret)
There are many types of drunks. Kongpob belongs to the worst kind. Let's just say my friends have videos of me meditating and chanting and I'm not even Buddhist, which I have no memory of .
Now you all can rest in peace knowing the truth.