A/N: I made a new book !! It's called 'Supernatural Texts' pls read if you want 🌝
(I legit wrote half of them at 4 in the frickin' morning why am i like this)
***
"Really, Iero?!"
"Sorry," I shrugged.
"You better be fucking sorry," Gerard snapped, glaring towards where Ray, Mikey and I were.
Why was Gerard really pissed at me you ask? Well, I was walking while Ray was talking to me when I bumped into him, making my cup of coffee spill onto his sweater.
"Frank, you idiot, stop being distracted by everything," Mikey whispered once all three of us started walking away from a pissed of Gerard.
"Well, I didn't mean to spill coffee on him," I stated in a hushed voice. "You guys kept talking to me,"
Yes I did. Yes, I was that selfish to spill coffee on Gerard. I know, horrible right?
Lie.
I honestly didn't care if he got pissed at me. I mean, his sweater is fucking black. Yeah, coffee stains the crap out of your clothes but at least you couldn't see it. He was just being a whiny brat about it.
As far as I was away from Gerard, I could still hear the inaudible complaining he did.
"Oh, stop fucking complaining." I muttered out, sighing deeply through my nose.
"What did you say?" Gerard suddenly asked with a tone that sent chills through my body.
I turned my head around, seeing that he was following us. "N-nothing,"
My guess was that he was heading towards the boys bathroom and not being nosy. I could feel his burning gaze on the back of my head the whole time, making me stiff whenever I would sneak a glance at him from the corner of my eye.
He was clearly pissed off at me.
I snickered silently, focusing my gaze back on Ray and Mikey.
"Dude, no seriously, we should go to Comic Con this year." Mikey said.
"We could go as Batman and Robin,"
"That's too cliché. I feel like everyone would go as them,"
"Maybe as Jetstar and Kobra Kid from that band Our Scientific Romance?"
"That's pretty rad." I commented. "I don't think a lot of people would go as them since they usually go as either Party Poison or Fun Ghoul. Maybe both? I don't know."
"What's up with you and the word 'rad'?" Ray asked, a deadpan expression written all over his face.
I shrugged, biting the urge to laugh. "Don't know."
"That's a good idea," I heard Mikey gasp out. "Maybe Frank could go with us and dress up as Fun Ghoul and we could tell Gerard to go as Party Poison."
"I doubt he'll come," I replied. "You know how he is, Mikes."
"Touché." He shrugged.
"It's in October, maybe we could take Frank with us as our early birthday gift for him." Ray said, glancing between me and Mikey.
"Radical." I looked over at Ray, a smirk forming on my lips as he gave me a look like he was on The Office. It was hilarious to witness.
"Frank, you son of a bitch, I swear to god I will fight you right now," Ray threatened. I only smiled back innocently at him as a response. "Now you're just being an annoying asshole."
I laughed, tilting my head back. "That's what I'm known for, Raymond." I said as he rolled his eyes. "You know what, I should probably make a button that says, 'Member of the annoying little asshole committee' and wear it everywhere I go."
"Well, it's ironic because you are short, Frank," Mikey laughed.
At least it wasn't a lie though.
"Piss off, Mikey." I laughed out as Ray and Mikey groaned. I think they were pretty much used to the way how I am. I was like one of those annoying little brothers that follow you around all the time.
"Make it into your own club,"
"What, a group just for short people or being an asshole?" I asked sarcasm hinting in my voice.
"Both." They both said in unison.
I grunted, crossing my arms over my chest like how a kid would when they didn't get their way. "Whatever."
"Ironically, it'll just be a group of adult kids. Get it, 'cause short people look like kids?" Mikey laughed, more like silently laughing his heart out at his own joke.
"You know what's ironic?" I asked them both.
"What?" Mikey asked, raising an eyebrow.
"A fire truck on fire."
"You play too much video games, Frank." Ray commented. "Well, I guess you'll need an intervention pretty soon,"
"Hey, there's nothing wrong with playing GTA all night long, Toro."
"You play GTA from 10 at night all the way to fuckin' 8 in the morning, Iero. I definitely think that you have an addiction."
"I mean, I'm already addicted to cigarettes and coffee," I shrugged, a look of blankness coating my face.
"Hey, coffee is the shit, Ray!" I heard Mikey comment. "I agree with little ol' Frank here, coffee is my life,"
"Coffee's only good when it's from Dunkin' Dounts," Ray smirked.
Mikey and I both had the same reaction, surprised. "Are you fucking crazy?" Mikey said.
"Yep,"
"Dude, fuckin' Starbucks," I said out of disbelief. "Starbucks is literally the best coffee shop to ever exist and you're saying that Dunkin' Donuts has the best coffee. Don't get me wrong, Dunkin' has good coffee but c'mon man, it's Starbucks,"
"He has a point," Mikey pointed out, shaking his head as Ray rolled his eyes.
"You two get really defensive when it comes to coffee," Ray stated, making his way towards his next period class, Forensic Science. Mikey had Physics and I was unfortunately stuck with going to Algebra. Well, at least I got to have that class out of the way.
"Like I said before, Ray, coffee is my life."
"Plot twist, not only coffee is life, but tea is too." I watched as Ray scolded the both of us as we both laughed.
"You guys are so annoying," He groaned out.
"Well you have to deal with it, Ray-Ray." I laughed, eyes crinkling into almonds.
"Yeah, my ray of sunshine, you gotta get used to hanging out with angsty-midget-punk and comic-book-geek."
"I'm not a ray of sunshine," He muttered out.
"To us you are," I commented. "You're too pure for this world, my pure cinnamon rolls."
"Fuck off, Frank, you're the shortest out of the three of us. You're like a small angry chihuahua who seems intimidating but really isn't."
"Says the one who looks like they're from the 80's. Lookin' like Michael Jackson when he had his fuckin' afro." I heard Mikey say a small 'oh, shit,' under his breath.
"Fight me, Iero."
"Right here, right now, Toro." I threw my bag down as a dramatic effect.
The three of us knew we were playing around but the security guards didn't. "You three, get to class!"
***
I didn't get to my class until fifteen minutes later because both Mikey and Ray kept making me walk with them to their classes. Their damn classes were literally on the other side of the school for crying out loud.
I practically had to run back to the front of the school in order to make it to my class before the clock hit twenty minutes.
"Mr, Iero, you're late," My teacher stated once I walked in class.
"Wow, thank you for stating the obvious," I muttered sarcastically, walking towards the back where I usually sat.
"You need to stop with the attitude, Frank,"
"I'm good." I snapped as I sat down. I ignored the sets of eyes that were glued on me as I put my head down on the desk. "Yes, I know I came late. It's not that surprising, now can you stop looking at me? Thanks." I said without picking my head up. I knew the other students heard me because I heard small mutterings and then my head felt like it wasn't on display anymore.
I hate this class with a fiery passion. This being a good example, me coming late almost everyday. I mean, my algebra teacher was the only one who actually complains about me being late but I don't care.
I felt myself doze off slightly, the noise slowly draining out. I was sort of out of consciousness but I was still aware of my surroundings.
"Can someone please wake Frank up," I heard my teacher sigh out. I was awake but I still didn't feel like paying attention to what was being taught. I was just listening to the lecture.
"Yo, Iero, wake the hell up." I felt someone throw a pencil at my head as I looked up to see who it was. I sighed, rubbing my face.
"Piss off, Pete." I grumbled.
"Then wake the fuck up." I grunted in response, already bored even though I just got here five minutes ago. I wanted to leave already. I was ready to fling myself out the window, that's how bad I wanted to leave.
'One class down, five more to go.' I thought as I focused my eyes straight ahead to the smart board but ended up getting distracted by a paper ball falling onto my desk.
I already knew who it was from. Gerard always does this to me whenever we're both in the same classes together. It was getting old by now. Passing notes should be left behind in 6th grade.
I opened the crumpled up paper, scoffing at the poorly written words.
'Next time, watch where you're going, Iero or I swear I'll make you wish you never bumped into me'
"Screw off," I mumbled just as another one came hitting the side of my arm, falling onto my bag. Same as the first one, I decided to read that one too.
'As a matter of fact, I'll tell Bert so we both could show you a lesson or two. You think you're all that with that smart ass mouth of yours, huh? Well, gladly, I'll show you who's the bigger person here, Frankie'
I winced from the nickname. I wasn't triggered by the notes but whenever he calls me 'Frankie', that's what hurts me the most. He knows that my parents used to call me that (well my aunt calls me that too but not as much as my parents).
I crumpled up the paper harshly, stuffing it in my back pocket. I took out my notebook and pen, harshly writing out a response and threw it back to the wannabe vampire when the teacher wasn't looking.
I immediately felt it hit me, sneaking a glance at him. He was looking at me, laughing. I opened the paper and read my response before reading his.
'Fuck you, Gerard'
His response was just a simple:
'When, honey ;)'
That's why I don't answer him whenever he throws me notes. I scoffed, ripping up the crumpled paper, and tossed it into my bag.
I felt my face get hot, burying it into my arms again. Might as well call me Dean Winchester because I would literally make a deal with a demon in order to stop liking him. I don't think he knows that I was falling for him though. He was too busy getting laid or beating me up with Bert. Ha, like he cares anyway.
"Mr. Iero, keep your head up,"
"Alright,"
***
"Jesus Christ, calm down, the damned coffee isn't going anywhere." Ray said in concern towards Mikey. That was his third cup since we left school an hour ago. "Are you alright?"
"Yep." He immediately replied. I could tell that either he was getting hyper or his anxiety was kicking in. "Y'know, now I remembered why I don't drink that much coffee."
"Dude, you need to chill out. I'm beginning to feel like you're starting to be like Frank."
"What do you mean?"
"Frank could legit drink 4 cups of coffee in 45 minutes."
I shrugged, both dark brown and green eyes meeting mines. "I don't deny it."
"You're gonna die of a heart attack pretty soon." Mikey said, chugging the last of his drink.
"I'm only 18, I'm not gonna get a heart attack until I'm gray and old." I scoffed. "If I make it that long."
"Stop acting like a depressed teen, Frank."
"Well I am a teenager, Mikey."
"Jesus - Frank, are you alright because you've been acting weird this whole day."
"Mikey, I'm fine." I stated. "Don't make this into a big deal."
He eyed me up and down, crossing his arms over his chest. "Don't give me any of that shit, Frank, I've known you since the beginning of middle school. I'm not dumb,"
I sighed deeply, avoiding eye contact. "I'll tell you later. I don't wanna talk about it now."
"No, Frank - are you always this fucking complicated?"
"You sound like Gerard." I muttered.
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing." I pressed on. "I'll tell you later."
"Guys." Ray suddenly said. I completely forgot that he was here with us. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm good." Mikey said.
"Peachy." I mumbled. I didn't give out a warning before I pulled up my jacket sleeves, showing the faded and fresh lines scattered along my arms. I watched their reactions instead of looking down at my arms (I hate looking at them whenever I have a short sleeve on, they always remind me how weak I am).
"Frank -"
"Are you fucking kidding me?"
"Actions speak louder than words," I said. "This is the reason why I didn't wanna tell you guys because I knew you were going to react like this."
"What the fuck, Frank? You expect us not to freak out over this?" Ray exclaimed. I nodded, avoiding eye contact with them both. "You're fucking cutting yourself. Of course we're gonna flip o-"
"-How long?" Mikey cut him off, a serious tone to match his deadpan expression.
I was surprised on how serious he got in the matter of a minute, meanwhile as Ray was currently loosing his shit.
"Since 9th grade? Almost 4 years." I answered, meeting both of their gazes. I pulled my sleeves back down, taking off my jacket fully as their expressions turned from worry to plain shock.
More scars scattered up my arms, making it look like I just came out of a fight, some of them still fresh while most were starting to heal and fade. Luckily, the three of us were sitting in a booth all the way in the back of the small coffee shop.
"Frank -"
"Shhh, you're making people stare." I said. "Don't give me a lecture on why I shouldn't keep doing this. I don't wanna deal with it again." They both nodded, scooting closer to look more closely at the scars.
"Again?" Mikey asked, raising a eyebrow.
"My old therapist was a creep but he always gave me the 'don't cut yourself, you don't wanna do that to the people who love you' lecture every time I went to a session."
"You shouldn't, Frank, because I will kill you myself. I know where you live." Ray threatened.
"Gee, thanks, Ray."
"I'm serious."
"I know."
"Hey, instead of having a depressing conversation about what Frank did, let's just go to the park or something to take our minds off things." Mikey suggested, looking at us both for a response.
I mean, it was a good idea but it was already 4 in the afternoon. Knowing me, I'm just doing it so I could avoid doing homework.
"Yeah, let's go." Ray answered for the both of us, grabbing his bag, making a beeline towards the door with Mikey and I following.
'Maybe you should tell them about your depression, Frank. Maybe at least you being suicidal.' I furrowed my eyebrows together, throwing my bag on as I made my way outside, walking a few steps behind Mikey and Ray.
No, I'm not. I'll tell them later, not now. I don't need them getting all parent mode on me.
But I knew they were going to be worried regardless, they already proved that not too long ago, especially Ray. Mikey? I think he was just trying to adsorb all the information at once.
"Hurry up, Frank!" They called out when I started trailing behind.
"I'm coming, just keep walking!" I shouted back smiling wide, watching as they turned around sharing their comments to each other like teenage girls.
My smile faltered, realizing that I never would have a best friend like that. Gerard was my best friend but we never were really close, like brothers.
Yeah, I have Ray and Mikey but something inside me still wishes I had that one person to tell everything to and not lie. I wish I didn't have to lie to them half of the time, pretending I'm okay and then break down when I get home.
It sucks.
Depression sucks.
Anxiety sucks.
Overthinking sucks.
Everything fucking sucks.
I'm just over everything now. It's gotten to the point where I thought about dropping out of high school and stay with my aunt until I'm 40. I just don't wanna stay like this anymore.
I felt my chest tighten, making me shoot my eyes up towards Ray and Mikey in panic. This couldn't be happening right now. Not now, it's been a year and this shit just decides to happen now.
I looked around to see if there were any benches around the street we were walking on, luckily there was one a few steps away from us.
"Frank?" I ignored Mikey, making my way to sit, throwing my bag into the floor in front of me. "Frank, what's going on?"
I couldn't speak, even if I tried. I shook my head, hearing my heart beat mockingly through my ears, the sound obnoxiously loud. "Frank," I heard Ray say, placing his hands on my face. I looked down, closing my eyes as I felt myself getting light headed. "Mikey call his aunt. Frank, look at me - Frank?"
I heard the distant talking from Mikey as I met Ray's scared eyes.
"You said he looked pale?" I heard my aunts voice say through Mikey's phone as he came back.
"Yeah. He looks like he's gonna pass out."
"Where's Ray? Ray, put your hand on his chest to check his heart." I felt his hand on my left side, the feeling of his hand on my chest gave my more anxiety knowing that he could feel my heart racing.
"It's beating really fast." He said hurriedly.
"Frank - listen to me, I need you to take deep breaths, okay? Remember what happened last time. Don't you dare pass out on me again." My aunt forced out.
That's when I finally broke down. Just by taking that deep breath made me realize how much I was holding in.
Tears fell down my cheeks in an instant, causing both boys to launch into action. "I'll call you back," Mikey said to my aunt, pocketing his phone, hugging me in the matter of seconds. Ray was crouched down to my level, wiping tears away from my face.
"I'm done," I whispered out, shutting my eyes tightly, feeling the hot tears fall down my face faster. "I'm so fucking done. I just wanna fucking die already."
"Don't say that. That's the last thing I need to hear right now." Ray commented. "I don't want my fucking best friend killing themselves."
"You're our brother, Frank. Don't do that to us," Mikey said, equally as scared as Ray.
I shook my head, wiping my face with my hands as a way to show them I'm alright. But the tears still kept falling. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" Mikey asked, moving my hair out of the way.
"For being a poor excuse of a friend."
"No, Frank." Ray said, shaking his head in denial. "You're not a poor excuse."
I knew they were trying to make me feel better but I didn't believe them, no matter how convincing it was, I just couldn't.
I sighed out, standing up when Ray stood up to give me some space. "C'mon, let's just go to the park."
"Are you sure?" Mikey asked.
I nodded, slinging my bag over my shoulder again, the anxiety finally away. "Yeah. I wanna take my mind off things for a while."