MICKEY
I haven't talked to Ian in a week, not since we fucked in a storm on a deserted roadside. It was sexy, the humidity like a steaming pot of boiling water and the rain splashing on us as we laughed carelessly. We fucked hard and I could barely walk home afterwards, but of course I didn't let Ian know that. I think he might've figured it out, though, because he kept looking at me with suspicion and asking if I needed a piggy back ride.
It's strange not seeing Ian everyday. Normally we're always crowding each other's lives, to the point where it can be annoying, but it's comforting. And I know Ian didn't just run off; Lip said that Ian hasn't left his room. I'm somewhat nervous, in all honesty. Aren't his meds supposed to normalize his highs and lows and create boundaries for what is too low and too high? And now he's not leaving the room again? It's fucking weird.
But I can't visit him today. Today is the day that my probation skank is making me get a new job. Yippee. Where do I search first? Maybe I could sell guns... No. Nothing illegal. I shake my head in frustration, no ideas popping into my mind. The auto repair place has no openings. I can't do a bar, God knows how bad my temper already is and it's even worse with drunk assholes. No restaurants, not trying to do some full commitment shit, just trying to get a legal job until my probation kicks off and I'll be back to robbing stores and selling weapons in a month.
"You've always been good with your hands." I hear Ian's voice in my mind and an idea that makes me cringe floats it's way into my conscience. Massage therapist.
Wait, no. What the hell, Mickey? Why- well... It's not that bad. Good pay, people are usually pretty quiet. Could work...
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I walk to Mary's Massage- which is a fucking stupid title since the owner is named Theresa- and I smell a strong whiff of flowers and a relaxing sandy beach. It's fucking weird how that works, making smells for things that don't even have specific smells. I'll never understand it. I just stick to my flowery coconut shampoo that Mandy bought me last year, and I've been addicted to its scent ever since.
"Mickey Milkovich. Nice to see you again." She says cheekily as I nod in her direction.
"Hey, Theresa. You guys got any openings?" I ask, crossing my fingers.
"You need a massage or something? Some stress relief?"
"No, I need a job. I'm good with my hands." I manage to choke out, Ian's naked body appearing in my mind. Not right now. I'll deal with that later.
"Well..." She looks around for a minute and gestures for a short girl, who's still fucking taller than me, and whispers something to her, in which she replies with something about pregnancy. Theresa smiles at me and hands me a few towels. "We have an appointment at three. He pays great, hundred fifty an hour. Don't fuck this up, Milkovich, or you'll be out of a job." She says and I nod my head anxiously, following her to a small cubby room in the back. The walls are a burgundy color and fake plants and beautiful paintings line them. I put all my things down and organize it, making sure to get everything perfectly situated. Old rich white men. Got nothing better to spend their money on.
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To my surprise, the man who walks in isn't old. He looks to be about thirty, maybe forty, and is on the verge of aging but hasn't quite hit the point yet. I smile at him graciously, which hurts my face because I actually have to pretend to be nice if I want to keep my job, and he grins back. He only has his lower half covered by a white towel and he lays down on the table, stripping it off. "This isn't awkward, right?" He asks as I chuckle under my breath. I fuck asses, man, I consider saying.
"No. It's part of the job. We all got asses, right?" I say as he laughs. I begin to press my thumbs into his shoulder blades as he groans with pleasure. After thirty minutes of running the same three spots on his back, I move my way up to his neck. I dig in and caress each crevice and twist that his long neck offers to me. I pound on his back some more before he requests the waist, which I squeeze and maneuver to his liking as he moans with pleasure from each swift hand motion.
When I finish I look at the clock and notice that it's six. Holy shit, that took a long time. My hands ache and my arms are sore from rubbing the man raw, but the bright side I made 400 dollars in one day. I swear under my breath as I realize that I was supposed to be at Mandy's by 5, so I rush out of the building and hop onto the train. I count my money, smiling contently with myself, and I can't seem to wipe the smug grin off of my face. Rich people aren't that bad after all, as long as they're paying you.
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Mandy glares at me when she opens the door, and I smile as I see the whole Gallagher family sitting at a table in her large apartment. I'm proud of my sister, she didn't turn out like me. She was stuck in the South Side but made something useful of herself, from working at an escort agency to becoming the CEO of some company Lip works at. "You're late." She says as I grin sheepishly.
"Sorry. I was at work." I mutter as Mandy looks at me in confusion.
"Work? Mickey you can't keep doing this illegal shit. You're gonna get caught-"
"I'm not doing anything illegal, Mandy. Here." I say, thrusting her the four hundred. "Take it. For rent." I know her rent is expensive as fuck and I've already paid mine, and at this rate I might be a millionaire by the end of the year.
"How the fuck did you get this?" She whispers quietly.
"I'm a massage therapist." I grin proudly as Mandy laughs. I look over to see Ian blushing and I wink at him. "Took Ian's advice."
I follow Mandy over to the dinner table as Lip and Fiona incoherently talk about some shit involving some guy locked away for murder, Debbie and Carl argue with each other as Debbie throws a spoon at him and he leans across the table to hit her in the shoulder, and Mandy stares at Lip, clearly love struck. Kev and Vi are here, too, and Svet touches the fabric in Vi's bra as they all oo and ah over the smooth feeling. Everyone seems to be happy and for one of the first times in a long time, I feel that way as well.
Ian stands up, pushing his chair out in a screeching noise, and wraps his arms around me. Taken away by the sudden warmth and protection, I hug him back and hold him tightly, nestling my head into the crook of his neck. After a long, passionate embrace he looks down at me, cupping my head in his hands, and pecks me on the lips. I smile foolishly, looking like a lost little girl in the fucking candy shop, and Ian hugs me again, this time tighter and longer. I'm not sure what's up with him but he sure is being really fucking clingy. But I like it. My arms securely hold him close to me, and I close my eyes and nuzzle up against his soft shirt. It's smells like him and that makes me smile, seeing that I've always loved his soapy scent.
He holds me so hard that his face looks as if it were in pain, and not a physical ache but an emotional quake of hurt. I run my hand along his soft skin and down his neck, feeling every aspect that his body has to offer.
"Guys, no fucking at the table." Fiona jokes as Ian rolls his eyes.
"It's been a while." He hisses back, trying to savor this moment when no one will let him.
"It's been a week." Lip replies in a snark tone, making Ian once again do a dramatic eye roll. If they wouldn't have stopped us we probably would've stripped naked and spent time discovering each other's bodies right then and there. Everything just feels so raw with Ian and I, like every time we see each other the emotions and ardor multiply and we need to touch each other endlessly. We both have a seat at the full table, people passing around mashed potatoes and green beans and making pointless conversation.
We all eat until we can't stuff our faces and further and I feel sick to my stomach. We talk about dumb shit, like how Mandy liked Ian and how Ian almost hit someone during his driver's test. We made fun of Lip about how he used to take advice from a cheap ass magic 8 ball toy, and Carl talked about how awkward his first time was. Ian told everyone about how I almost drowned in the pool and everyone seemed to eat up that story as I sat there, stubbornly glaring at Ian with an amused smirk on my face that I couldn't hide.
"So Ian," Vi says, taking a sip of her beer, "what was the best fuck you ever had?" The table fills with giddy laughter and a few oohs are heard as Ian looks over at me. Don't you-
"Okay, okay. I was walking into the Milkovich house, this was back when I was fifteen, and I was scared shitless, going to get a gun from the tough Mickey." He smiles over at me and I roll my eyes, everyone chuckling. "I hit him with a crowbar a few times and he pretended that he was gonna give me the gun but ended up punching me in the face." He says as Lip starts cackling for air and Kev dies from laughter. "So we fight and Mickey ends up on top of me, crowbar aimed towards my face about to hit me. And remember, this is the I'm Not Gay Mickey."
"The dirtiest white boy in America." Vi and Fiona both buckle over in laughter, gripping their sides as I smile, happy that everyone is in such a good mood.
"Anyways, we looked at each other and Mickey started getting really hard, like I could feel his dick as hard as a rock on my chest." He says as Carl spits out a potato chunk and chuckles with such heart that I can't help but shake my head in embarrassment. "Then Mickey rips his shirt off and and I'm just laying there in shock like holy shit, Mickey's gay? Is this some plan to murder me? Is he gonna- but I was too horny to think about other shit and before I knew it I was on top of Mickey fucking his brains out."
"Wait wait wait wait wait." Debbie places her hand in front of Ian and her mouth rises in a grin, so malicious that I already know what she's going to ask. "Mickey's a bottom?" She asks and Liam spits out some of his milk. Even the baby's surprised. Laughter spreads across the table as I hear 'I never would've imagined' and 'is he tight'.
"After we fucked, Mickey gave me the most terrified look like, what did we just do, and I was just thinking, shit he's cute, and that shit that Mickey calls girly. Then Terry walked in and went to the fucking bathroom-"
"-Which was fucking disgusting-" I interrupt as Ian nods.
"And he looked at us and said, put some clothes on. You two look like a couple of fags, and I swear I almost broke out giggling like a bitch." Ian says as Lip wipes tears from his eyes and just as the laughter starts to die down, it roars again as Ian finishes with, "and that was the time that I took Mickey's virginty." I kick him under the table and he smiles at me cockily as everyone calms down, the uprise of hilarity coming to an end.
We then reminisce on Mandy and Lips first time and the way Mandy fell off the bed after giving Lip 'the best blowjob of his life' and Kev and Vi talked about their hot threesome with my wife and how Svetlana awkwardly watched them fuck half the time.
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It's about eleven as Fiona decides to take Carl, Debbie, and Liam home and the rest of us sit at the table, talking about weird shit and stuff that any normal person would scoff at. We all have tears in our eyes from excessive tittering and our faces are beet red. Kev, Vi and Svet eventually leave, too, to go do God knows what. Probably fuck. I drop my napkin and when I bend over to pick it up I see Lip and Mandy playing fucking footsies under the table. "Are we back in seventh grade again?" I ask sarcastically as Mandy rolls her eyes.
"Hey, don't blame Mandy for missing out on her childhood. Blame your piece of shit father." Lip scoffs as I nod in agreement. I get quiet as I realize that Ian hasn't said anything or made any noise, and when I look over at him I see him staring at the wall ahead. I shake his arm and he lets out a sharp breath and looks over at me, fear in his eyes.
"Ian." I mutter, wrapping my arms around him so he knows that he's protected. "What's wrong, Ian?" I struggle to say his name, worrying like a bitch, and I tightly grip his bicep, my knuckles showing white. He doesn't respond, only stares at me in terror. He shuts his eyes a few time and shakes his head and I place my hand firmly on his waist so he knows that I'm still here. It doesn't do much to keep him steady but it reassures us both in a weird way.
After a few minutes of Mandy panicking to get a warm rag and Lip trying to get his attention, and me, worrying my ass off and very distressed, Ian calms down and buries his head into my chest as I hold him. I stroke his luscious mane and massage his neck as he shudders.
"The fuck happened?" I finally ask him as he pulls his head away. He looks at me with a sad expression and I want to wrap him up and give him all the love in the world, but my emotions still haven't reached that point.
"I remember the calls I left you. Just do me a favor- don't blame yourself, blame your piece of shit father. And then... I don't know. I'm still trying to figure that out. But I was scared, Mickey." He whispers as my heart beats in anticipation.
"I know you were. I know." I whisper as I grip the table firmly. "I was, too." I mumble as I take his face in my hands and stare into his eyes, which are glossy and more blue than usual. I smile sheepishly at his and hug him again, arms around his neck and his around my waist. "But your okay now. You're okay." I say as I press my lips against the side of his smooth face and kiss it.
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Ian calms down and we leave Mandy's after the freak out. Instead of taking Ian to the Gallagher house, I take him home with me. We don't have sex this time, but we wrap each other up in our arms and rub our bodies together rawly as if our lives depend on it. Like we're never going to see each other again. We kiss deeply and pull our bodies close, pressing tightly, as darkness fills my room with a hint of moonlight coming through the blinds.
We spread our bare bodies out on the bed, legs wrapped around each other, him caressing my tattoo and me, running my fingers up and down his face, chest, all parts of his body. It's like we have a newfound fear of losing each other, gripping onto ourselves as if we will suddenly disappear. Touching any and all areas of our bodies, wether left untouched or discovered, because we fear being alone.
"Mickey?" Ian softly calls my name as I turn my head in his direction.
"Yeah, Gallagher?"
"I don't know. Just making sure you're still here, that's all." He whispers as he smiles and grabs my waist, pulling my body closer to his as I rest my head in his shoulder and tightly wrap my legs around his. I trace the word 'blue' onto his back with my finger, a depressing but lovely silence taking over the room.
No need to worry, Gallagher. I'm not going anywhere.