So as i go along, i'll be posting photos into a Julian and Bailey album on my Facebook that inspire their wedding. From dress, bridesmaid dresses, flowers, cake and photos of their venue... you can see all that inspired their wedding there.
Chelsraindrops@gmail.com
you can search that and it will pull it up.
I'm not one for posting photos on here any more because it's too hard to keep track of them. That will also be the best place to see updates on any story i write on any platform.
Chapter Fifty-Nine – Where Things Are Cleared Up
Bailey's Pov
"Thank you for welcoming me into your home, I've heard a lot about you." Dorian spoke as soon as they left the dining room.
"I wish I could say the same, but I'm sure you can understand why I haven't." Therapy was private. It took a lot of courage to go and even more to talk to strangers about the most vulnerable time in your life. Suicide is a tough topic.
"I appreciate his discretion. I should probably tell you-" But I cut him off, it could be classified as rude, but I didn't want him to make himself uncomfortable.
"No, you don't need to tell me anything. You don't know me and I understand that you are a private person. I respect that and when you word it as you should probably it tells me that you feel a need to because I asked you to dinner; you don't need to." He didn't owe me an explanation.
"You know, don't you?" He asked and I nodded.
"Julian's other group session I attend with him for previous addicts." Also something that was far from a secret.
"My daughter died of cancer three months ago, she was only four." Sometimes I felt like I lived in a vortex of misery, hearing sad stories and heartbreaking things like the words he just spoke. But drugs are what pulled me into it so it also made sense.
"I'm sure you've heard how sorry people are enough times to make you sick; I am sorry for your loss though and for your pain." If I brought a child into this world and lost them I would be devastated.
"I just wanted to say thank you though, I know that you didn't know and I truly appreciate the company and invitation; my wife and I divorced before she passed because her treatments were hard on our relationship; as soon as Laura died she had no reason to stay. It's been a lonely three months." He didn't look away when he told me that, I didn't expect his honesty or for him to share that with me; I was at a loss for words. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to burden you." When I said nothing he began to backtrack.
"You didn't; I just wish there was something I could say or do to help." In this moment, I couldn't think of a single thing that could.
"You have Bailey, more than you realize." He made me curious and left me wondering what he was like before his daughter got sick. He seemed very warm and inviting deep down, just from the glimpse I've gotten, I'm sure that would be confirmed if I spent more time around him.
Sometimes I was naïve though and I knew it; I always wanted to see the best in everyone and I wanted to believe that all people were good but sometimes that clearly wasn't the case. Not everyone was a good person and I put up with a lot of bad before learning to surround myself with the kinds of people I have now.
The best thing I did for myself was make friends with the right people. You surround yourself with the people that are like the person you want to be and they help to make you that person. I'm not talking about the fame or the record contract I now have, but the attitudes.
Nia is one of the most openly loving people I have ever met and I learned a lot about the kind of woman I wanted to be from both her and Kenna.
"Well in that case you're welcome for dinner anytime, just let Julian know and I'll set a plate." Starting today I had my new kitchen and I could spend all day in here cooking or baking. Life with my parents sucked and I didn't want to carry on any of those traditions of solitude and take out. The more people I had to cook for, the more friends and family we had around us.
"Julian really is a lucky guy and he's a great guy; I'm happy to see that he found someone like you." Before I was with him I used to think celebrity and none celebrity relationship were for movies and television shows. It wasn't a secret that I didn't think it would work. Honestly, I thought he would get bored by me when he went back to his life and clearly I was wrong. The ring on my left hand was a reminder that I had been wrong about a lot of things.
"He is pretty great." We had our problems but after we got back together things have been great. He treats me like I'm the only thing that matters in the world and isn't happy unless I am. We struggle together, we have breakthroughs together.
Divorce is not an option to me which is why I was initially so reserved about getting married so young, but now it felt natural, even if it did feel like I was also twenty one going on thirty five. Dorian left about a half hour later and we spent time with Melina before she disappeared to work on getting her studio together.
"Thank you for dinner pretty girl." I leaned back when he wrapped his arms around me and gave a gently squeeze.
"You're welcome." I stepped away to start putting things up in the kitchen and he stood and watched me grab plates, bowls and cups then figure out where I wanted them.
"I love you." The way he said it caught my attention and I looked back at him.
"Is everything okay?" But he smiled and nodded.
"Everything with you is perfect Bailey. You make me so happy and you make me feel normal. Here we are, just struggling to find a spot for stuff like anyone else." Sometimes I felt like I was suffocating in love from the things he said.
"Well currently you're staring, I'm finding spots." He grinned before coming over to help me put things away. He offered absolutely no opinion and put things where I told him to.
"So about this wedding" I started off with. We were engaged, but Julian didn't know a single detail on what was planned; he had been busy. We needed to talk because I needed to see if he liked what was planned so far; this was our wedding after all.
"Did I push you too much on that? I shouldn't have said that it was just a house when I planned to propose already. We can take as long as you want for the wedding, if you need another three years than it's fine with me. There is nothing I can't wait for as long as you do marry me one day. I don't want to lose you." Where the hell did that come from? He was freaked out and I was confused.
"I booked the venue last week, I haven't had time to talk to you and it was a miracle to get in there so I just booked it keeping in mind we can cancel if you didn't like it." What he was on about, I didn't know but I had been planning a damn wedding.
"Oh, where?" My eyes rolled without permission. He was too paranoid.
"Do you want to marry me or are you having second thoughts and trying to figure out a way to back out?"
"Of course I'm not; I just don't want to rush you. You told me you weren't ready a few weeks ago and I feel like I'm being unfair to you. I just want to make sure it's what we want and not just what I want." Sometimes I think people forget that I'm capable of making my own decisions.
"You know you're not the only adult capable of making decisions in this relationship. My answer was yes because I want to marry you. If I didn't want to, I wouldn't be. If I wasn't comfortable being a wife I would have told you I wasn't ready. I'm not marrying you out of pity or obligation; I'm marrying you because I want to be your wife. I said yes because I want to have a life and a family with you. My answer was yes because I want to spend my life with you. I wish that you would trust me. It hurts a little feeling like you don't trust me to be honest with you." Could people just stop treating me like a kid who was influenced by anything?
"Okay, I'm sorry. I just really don't want to lose you." He came up to me and he tilted my chin up to look me in the eye. My arms crossed which showed I was obviously defensive and my frown showed him my annoyance. "I love you and I would love to know where you picked for us to get married. If you love it I love it. As long as you're the one at that alter I don't care where it is. Will you please stop looking at me like that?" He leaned closer and kissed me, forcing me to unwind my frown and kiss him back. He bent and grabbed my thighs, lifting me up on the counter.
He got me to uncross my arms and grip to him as he pulled me closer to him. He parted my thighs to get closer to me and I groaned as he kissed me. When I bit his lip me hissed and shocked me by grabbing my ass and pulling me harder into him.
When I needed to breathe I tilted my head to the side and he sucked on my neck.
"Julian." I groaned and my heart raced when his lips lingered lower. Soon I would be his wife and this wouldn't stop here. My hands got sweaty as I thought about it and my stomach flipped with nerves.
"You are so sexy and I'm well aware of the fact that you're an adult too Bailey. Talk about you being my wife riles me up because I do want you. You make it hard to control myself, so just think about that anytime I'm trying to keep distance." His erection was digging into my core and I was biting my lip trying to hold in a moan that desperately wanted to escape.
"New York." The words were a lot softer than I anticipated
"What about New York?" He asked confused.
"We're getting married in New York; at the zoo. I was going to book the aquarium but Melina is terrified of fish and that sounded like a disaster waiting to happen." Speaking of Melina, she could come in any minute and we were in a very compromising position.
"Do I get to pick the hotel we spend the night in?" His fingertips grazed up my arm and between his touch and heated stare, goose bumps coated my skin.
"If you want to." But it wasn't just a hotel or a room he would be picking and I knew that.
"There's no pressure pretty girl, even on our wedding night. All I want is take that dress off you. We can ease into things; take it slow when you're ready." It was something I hadn't decided on yet. If he took my dress off me it would be the most exposed he's seen me sexually. Even if I wasn't ready when the time came, I knew he would understand.
Maybe seeing me like that or maybe even naked was as far as things went the first day. Sexually speaking, I had zero confidence in myself. My first time would probably be uncomfortable, awkward and embarrassing.
"Okay. I'm going to be like that girl on the notebook aren't I? Not able to shut up and needing you to talk me through it." God that would be embarrassing.
"Of course not, you'll probably talk more. And when we decide to have sex there will be no one else to come and interrupt it. You'll be all mine." My face turned beat red and I covered my face; he laughed and uncovered it, leaving my humiliated face on display.
"Do you really think I'll talk that much?" Probably, I'll probably freak out until we actually get to the act.
"At first, then I'll make sure your vocabulary becomes limited to roughly don't stop, yes, my name and you screaming." He whispered in my ear and I shoved him away from me.
"Stop it." My voice was winey as I complained which earned a wicked grin and I'm sure the thoughts in his head would turn my face a new shade it's never been before.
"I you pretty girl." This time he was gentle as he stepped towards me and his lips ran side to side over mine before he applied any pressure. He gripped the back of my neck and his tongue was demanding yet soft.
"It doesn't matter if you're aggressive or not, the way you kiss me turns me on." My honest words threw him a bit; I would make an effort to be more open with him about it.
"Wait, if you booked the venue that means that you had to tell them a date." Very clever that man is.
"Yes." I had already picked a date.
"Were you going to tell me that small detail?" Mild annoyance was suggested
"August twelfth." He thought about It for a couple minutes and groaned.
"I forgot something didn't I? What is August twelfth?" He asked like he was about ready to get yelled at and I shrugged
"Nothing important that I can think of. You like math and I just figured eight, twelve, sixteen would be easy to remember." Personally I liked the date.
"Sixteen, as in this year? Bailey it's April!" That fact had no escaped me.
"Tomorrow to get my dress, the venue is booked and we'll need to fly to New York in a couple weeks to go over the plans and meals with the catering company. Nia has found us a photographer and Kylie has music covered." There was still a lot to do, but I was ready to get it done.
"You're sure on the date? There's no rush." But I was sure.
"I just want to marry you Julian. I love you and I'm ready if you are."
"Okay, I'll make sure that Kara doesn't start the tour until September. But I don't want to leave you, especially so close to getting married." He was excited and nervous for the tour; he's been dropping hints that he wants me to go with him but hasn't directly asked.
"I'd go, but Melina has school Julian." We couldn't leave her.
"I know." He put his chin on the top of my head and held me. He was struggling with having to be on his own but it was good for him. He needed some time to himself and I trusted him. He wouldn't cheat on me and I had faith that he would stay clean and sober. He could call if he was tempted.
"My mother won't leave me alone." Ever since our engagement was announced she had been trying to get in touch with me. I've changed my number and I have all my accounts on lock now. She's been bugging Drew too and I can't get her to go away.
"What about my mother?" That was dangerous territory; he's yet to ask me about how mine and Larissa's relationship is and that was for a reason. He wasn't picking sides officially but I could tell that it was creating a rift between them.
"Don't ask." She was in the wrong and she knew she was. She had apologized to Julian and we were civil, but she still avoided me and she's refusing to acknowledge to me that she was wrong. At the mention of mothers the mood was killed. I got down from the counter and we continued to unpack the boxes until it was time for bed.