Sidney
I was starting to feel the pressure of trying to keep all the balls in the air—managing three different business ventures was not always easy. This morning I had to squeeze three hours of work into the two hours I had before my flight left for New York. I walked into my office, dropped my bag on the credenza and took a deep, cleansing breath. I sat down and opened my email.
"Sid," Barb was poking her head into my office. "You have a second?"
"Uh ..."
"I know you don't, but it's important."
I waved her in and she closed the door behind her, walking over to my desk and handing me a tall cup of coffee from my favorite coffee shop.
"Thanks for this. What's up?" I asked, sliding on my reading glasses.
"You need to call Henry Walsh."
"Ugh. Right now?"
Henry Walsh was a billionaire real estate investor whom I liked and respected. But I didn't want to call him in my current frenzied mood.
"Henry's very upset. He's left multiple messages for you and has never gotten a call back."
My mouth dropped open in shock. "Henry? Henry Walsh? What the hell? Why didn't I get those messages?"
"Nicole and I divided up some tasks last week so she'd have more work. One of her jobs is managing phone messages and return calls."
Elbows on my desk, I let my head fall into my hands. "I wonder what other messages haven't been delivered."
"I'm sorry, I should have given her something else to do," Barb said. "Managing your calls is important. I goofed up."
I looked up at her. "Important, yes, but also very easy. You're sure Nicole knows this was expected of her? That she knows how to handle the task?"
Barb slid a sheet of paper toward me.
"I laid out responsibilities for both of us in writing and we both signed it and we each kept a copy."
"Oh, Barb," I said. "This whole thing has been so stressful for you."
"Sidney, I've been putting this off, but you and I need to talk. You have high standards for yourself and for your employees. I've always liked that about you. It makes all of us bring our A game to our job. Do you know how many people would love a shot to get in the door to work with you?
I knew where this conversation was headed and I was mad about not having initiated it myself.
"She doesn't deserve to stay, Sidney."
I nodded slowly, feeling deflated. "You're right, Barb. I hired her because her mom was a mentor to me, and I wanted to do something to help her daughter get a leg up in the business world. I've put up with too much for too long because of it. But, worse than that, I'm sorry for the stress it's created for you and everyone else in the front office. I'll fire her. Today."
"Good. Just remember, you aren't doing anyone a favor by condoning her behavior. She's been given plenty of opportunities to straighten up. This is the right decision."
Relief was already setting in. "Thank you, Barb. I'll remember all of this at bonus time."
"No," she said firmly. "Sidney, I don't have your back because I want more money. You pay me extremely well. You're dear to me, Sidney, and we've worked together for a long time. You're a very good woman. I tell my daughter all the time that you built this all on our own. No handouts. She's in college, and I want her to know she can do anything she sets her mind to. Just like you."
My throat tightened with emotion. "That means a great deal to me. I needed your honesty. Thank you so much, Barb."
She nodded and stood, saying, "I'm not going to say another word about this. It's between you and me."
"Thanks, Barb. Now let me get this over with. Please, send Nicole in."
I closed down my email while I waited for Nicole to arrive. When I had to fire someone, I liked to have time to think about what I'd say beforehand. I'd have to wing it this time.
Nicole's expression was impassive when she walked in. I gestured at a chair and she sat down.
"This is never an easy conversation," I said. "We got off to a rocky start and things never seemed to get better. I have to let you go, Nicole."
Her eyes widened in shock. "Fired? I'm fired?"
"Yes. I'll pay you two weeks' severance and any holiday pay we owe you."
"This is bullshit," she muttered. "Why? I don't understand."
"We've talked about this before--failure to perform the duties assigned, a poor attitude, unwillingness to follow rules—"
"What rules?" she demanded.
"The dress code. You were recently written up for inappropriate dress at a work function. And now Henry Walsh is angry because he's left multiple messages for me and has not received a call back."
"I figured if he knew you that well, he'd have your cell number."
I cringed inwardly over how long I'd delayed this decision. This girl was completely clueless and there was no point continuing the conversation. "This has not worked out, Nicole. You have to leave."
"Can I get a letter of recommendation?"
"No."
She rolled her eyes and glared at me across my desk. "I know what this is about. It's because I caught you getting felt up by Killian in here the other day."
"His hands were on my shoulders. That's hardly him feeling me up."
"Please. I know you're sleeping with him. He comes to your office every day."
"So does Sam the janitor."
Her face became a mask of fury and spit flew from her mouth as she spoke. "You're a joke. You tell me the players are hands off and then you take the captain of the team as your personal sex slave."
"I have nothing more to say to you," I said. "We're done here."
She folded her arms over her chest and gave me a smug look. "I want six months' severance and the best letter of recommendation ever written. Otherwise I'm telling everyone I got fired for catching you two in your office going at it."
My killer instinct was boiling just below the surface. "That would be a lie, Nicole. And nothing would compel me to write a letter of recommendation for you. You are, hands down, the worst employee I've ever had, and you are your own worst enemy."
"Everyone's right about you," she said, narrowing her eyes. "You are a bitch."
"Go clean out your office, hand in your keys and leave the building."
Killian
Sidney's words from last night still echoed in my head. She wanted me to take the call to Indy, pure and simple. Actually, I didn't have much choice because my contract required it. Up until recently, I'd managed to avoid getting the call with my reckless behavior. But she'd forced the issue by making a call to her friend the hockey scout. To give her credit, she probably did it with the best of intentions, but I didn't need her interference. I could manage my own career my own way.
I'd been silent all morning at practice. The guys knew I was in a mood and avoided me. I figured a hard practice and weight lifting would work my anger away, but I was still every bit as pissed off as I had been first thing this morning. I had to do something about it.
Taking the stairs two at a time, I thought about the confrontation I was about to have with Sidney. It was a bad idea to do this right now, but I had to. The resentment had built to a level I couldn't keep inside anymore.
I opened the main office door and found Sidney leaning against Barb's desk. They were talking, but stopped to look over at me.
"Hi," Sid said, smiling.
"Hi, Killian," Barb said.
"Good morning, ladies. Sid, have you got a minute?"
"Sure, come on in."
She opened the door to her office and I followed her in. She closed it behind us and I sat in my usual seat in front of her desk.
"I fired Nicole this morning," she said in a weary tone.
I grunted a response, my sarcasm pouring out unchecked. "Maybe you can reassign me to be your assistant."
"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked with an edge, walking around to her side of the desk.
"Just that you call the shots. All of 'em. I don't want to go to Indy. And you know why. But you forced the issue because we're seeing each other and now I'm not gonna have a choice."
Her emerald eyes blazed angrily. "You've still got the same choice you always had, Killian. The call won't come if you bust up another player in the next game so bad you get ejected. Or if you go get into a bar fight and get arrested again. I'll say one more thing: for you to say I made the call because of our relationship is possibly the most insulting thing anyone's ever said to me."
I stood and slammed my palms on her desk. "I don't see you trying to make any of the other guys into six or seven figure earners," I said bitterly. "Only the one who's fucking you."
She shook her head dismissively. "I don't need your money."
"I'm well aware of that, Sidney. But you also don't want to be the girlfriend of a guy who drives a ragtop Jeep."
"Says who?" she challenged. "I support the professional growth of everyone around me. That's how I lost the assistant I loved, Andrea. I promoted her because I knew she could do more. And I know you can do more. You should be playing at a level that challenges you, not one that keeps you complacent."
"You don't get to decide that for me." I turned toward the door, needing to escape my clawing feelings of inadequacy. "We're too different, me and you. You belong with some rich guy you don't have to sneak around with because he's beneath you."
"I don't want a rich guy," she said hotly. "And you are not beneath me."
"Well, I don't want a woman who goes behind my fucking back and tries to make me into something I'm not. All I want is to play hockey. I'm a Flyer. And obviously that's not good enough for you."
"You are being totally unreasonable. I'm leaving for New York in half an hour. I'll see you when I get back."
I opened the door and walked out, not looking back, grateful that Barb wasn't at her desk so I didn't have to fake a pleasant goodbye.
I needed a place to gather my thoughts, so I headed for the locker room. The place was empty and I sat down on the bench in front of my locker, thinking about the exchange between me and Sidney. Part of me was glad I'd unloaded my hard feelings. But another part hated the hurt look in her eyes when I accused her of trying to make me into a more suitable boyfriend.
I'd always had rock star status with women. I was a pro hockey player. I thought what I had here was enough. At least, I'd always thought so. Now I wasn't sure of anything.
The sound of approaching footsteps made me look up. Orion sat down next to me.
"How's it going?" he asked.
"I've been better."
"Want to talk about it?"
I shrugged, sliding my elbows down my thighs to rest on my knees. "Sidney doesn't belong with a minor league hockey player," I said.
"Why, because you're not loaded?"
"I guess, yeah. I've got an old Jeep to my name, and that's about it."
"What does she say about it?"
"She says she doesn't care. But you probably know she called her friend the scout. She's either trying to make me into a success, or get rid of me. I'm not even sure which."
Orion sighed softly. "If she hadn't called him, I would've called in a favor myself. You've outgrown this team, Killian."
My throat tightened uncomfortably. "Don't say that."
"It's true. Even on your off days, you're playing at the highest level of the game."
"I don't care about that." I stared at the fibers of carpet at my feet. "I'll fuck up more if I need to."
"Hockey players put their body through a hell of a lot. We all do it because we love the game, but the big league's the dream. Why are you so dead set against it?"
"This team is all I have," I said, fighting to keep my voice level. "These guys are my family. I lost my mom when I was twenty two and she was all I had."
"I'm sorry." Orion put a hand on my shoulder. "Does that have anything to do with you getting dropped back then?"
"It's got everything to do with it."
"I felt the same way about the team I retired from," he said. "Those guys were there for me when my dad died, and that was the lowest point in my life. I considered them my family. I still do. But everything changed for me when I met my wife. Even before we were married, she became my family."
I nodded silently, still not looking up.
"If you want to be with Sidney, you have to be your own man," he continued. "Don't stay here because it's easy. Don't stay here because she's here."
"I don't want the money without my mom to share it with."
"What would your mom say about that? Would she want you to put your body through this game, on this team, for the rest of the years you've got left? Or would she want you to take the spot you've earned?"
I sighed deeply, not wanting to admit the answer.
"Life brings unexpected turns, man," Orion said. "My sister's husband left her alone to raise two kids and I was able to put her through college because I'd banked money when I was playing. And it's a good thing I did that because I had to retire early when my nephew needed a kidney. Now I've got a family and I don't regret a thing I did."
"Yeah, I guess money's not all bad."
"It's not just about the money, Killian. I'll miss you like hell, but it's time to man up. Face the unknown. I truly believe the only reason we fail is by not trying."
I knew Orion was right. I had to face a few things right now and only I could make these decisions. Could I handle the big league? Could Sid and I weather a long distance relationship? These things weighed heavily on me, and I was glad Orion had helped me face the facts.