AN: The song is what I was listening to when I wrote the flashback scene so if you want the vibes I was drawing from that's it. Listen if you want. Also, leave a comment of some of the things you might want to see happen in this story, I have some basic stuff, but mostly I just write what I can come up with.
Lexa fought through the darkness that clouded her vision and opened her eyes to a blinding light. Everything around her was blurry and it was quite disconcerting. She blinked rapidly, trying to get it to clear.
It took a minute, but suddenly everything snapped back into focus. Observing her surroundings, she noticed a boy no older than she was across the room, leaning against the balcony doors, staring outside.
Her body tensed when she didn't recognize him. She shut her eyes again, feigning sleep as she tried to remember what had happened and how she had gotten here. The last thing she remembered was Clarke leaving to go back to Arkadia.
Lexa woke to gentle morning light, Clarke's bare back the only thing in front of her. She was sitting up on the edge of the bed, breathing deeply. Lexa watched as the blonde's muscles expanded and contracted with each inhale and exhale.
"Clarke," Lexa whispered.
Clarke turned, tears in her eyes though a smile graced her features, "Good Morning, Lexa."
Lexa's own small smile faltered and she realized this was actually happening, "How long until you leave?"
Clarke flinched, the idea of leaving Lexa physically painful, and when she answered, her voice was thick, "Not long."
Lexa pushed the furs off of her, not bothering to cover herself as she crawled over to hug Clarke from behind and kiss her shoulder.
"Let me help you get ready."
Clarke nodded under her ministrations, her eyes shut as a few tears fell from her eyes. Lexa stood up and collected their clothes from the floor, folding them and placing them on a chair nearby. She got out two sets of armor and, after getting herself dressed, walked back over to where Clarke sat.
She helped Clarke wrap her chest, kissing her back. She kneeled in front of her, helping her put on her pants, kissing her thighs and her hips, before securing the buckles and belt. She laced up Clarke's boots.
Lexa kissed her stomach and her chest before pulling the shirt over her body. As she pulled on Clarke's outer armor, Lexa kissed her hands, her shoulders, her collarbones, and her neck. She fastened the buckles with steady hands, hoping to lend Clarke some strength. She would allow herself to break only after Clarke was safe.
Lexa stood once she was finished and held Clarke's face in her hands. She kissed her forehead, her cheeks, the tip of her nose, but not her mouth. She couldn't, for it would surely break them both.
She rested their foreheads together for a few minutes, using the last of her strength to pull away. She offered a hand to pull her from the bed, which Clarke accepted. They reached the door, and Lexa had every intention of being by Clarke's side until she simply couldn't anymore, but Clarke stopped her.
"I think I should do this on my own."
Lexa looked down, not liking the idea of saying goodbye early, but she knew it was for the best, so she nodded. If this is what Clarke needed, she would do it.
She met Clarke's watery gaze with a tearful one of her own, "Be safe, Klark kom Skaikru. Come home to me."
Clarke nodded, a few tears leaking out, "I will."
Clarke threw her arms around Lexa and held on tight, burying her face in her neck. Lexa held her just as tightly, and tried to commit her unique scent to memory. She did not know when she would see her Skai Prisa again, and this thought was like a dagger to her heart.
When they pulled back both had tears flowing down their cheeks, unable to hold their torment inside.
Clarke brokenly whispered, "May we meet again."
She turned to open the door, but Lexa caught her wrist, spinning her around her pulling Clarke to her, crashing their lips together. They poured everything into that kiss, all the pain of leaving and the hope of reunion.
When they parted, Lexa also whispered, "May we meet again."
She kept her eyes closed until she heard the door shut, and when she opened them, she was alone. Lexa fell to her knees, an intense pain in her chest and unable to stop the cries pouring from her chest.
Lexa remembered their goodbye vividly, but after that, the memories seemed fuzzy. She kept trying to get anything to come back and suddenly it all hit her full force.
The sound of gunshots from Clarke's room. Sprinting down the hallway. Frantically pulling open the door. Feeling the bullet hit her stomach. Clarke taking it out. Clarke yelling at her to stay awake.
Then...black. Nothing.
Lexa sucked in a sharp breath and tried to sit up, but was immediately held down by the boy who had crossed the room as the memories had flooded her brain.
She was about to yell at him when he spoke first, "Look I know you're probably really confused right now, but I just got her to sleep and I would appreciate if you didn't wake her up."
Lexa followed his gaze and found Clarke, folded in on herself on the edge of the bed, one of her hands grasping her own tightly.
Lexa relaxed back into the pillows but stayed in a sitting position as the boy sat in her desk chair, which must have been brought to the side of the bed.
"I'm Murphy, by the way. I was locked up on the Ark with Clarke and got sent down here with the rest of them."
"What happened?" She asked, her voice rough.
"Well, you got shot and Clarkey here went through hell to get the bullet out. I stitched you up and you've been unconscious ever since. She hasn't left your side."
Lexa brushed some loose hair from Clarke's forehead as she watched her sleeping. She didn't look well. Lexa could see that she was thinner and the bruises under her eyes were much too dark. Lexa continued to question Murphy as her gaze remained fixed on Clarke.
"How long have I been out?"
"Today would have been day seven."
"And she hasn't left at all?" She asked incredulously.
He laughed, "She hasn't let go of your hand."
"How long has she been sleeping?"
"About an hour."
"And how long has she slept in total in this last week?"
"About an hour."
She eyes meet his, shocked. "She hasn't slept at all? Has she eaten?"
He shakes his head, sadly, looking over at Clarke. "I've haven't been able to convince her to."
She picked up their intertwined hands and kiss the back of Clarke's, shaking her head.
"What am I going to do with you?" She said, with a small smile on her usually stoic face.
Clarke stirred at the action and her eyes fluttered open.
She saw Lexa looking at her and gasped, "Lexa?"
Lexa brushed her knuckles across Clarke's jaw, "Hello my Skai Prisa."
Clarke's eyes flooded with tears and she pulled Lexa into a hug. She groaned slightly as Clarke squeezed her tightly, but didn't make any move to protest when she noticed how much Clarke was trembling. Lexa could feel Clarke's tears hitting her shoulder as she sobbed, sounding like she had been holding it in for days. Maybe she had. Lexa gave Murphy a look telling him to give them some privacy, knowing Clarke did not like to look weak in front of her people.
Once he was gone, Lexa shifted Clarke so she was holding her in her lap, one of Clarke's legs on either side of Lexa's waist. Clarke tried to speak but was cut off when another round of sobs hit her small body. Lexa clutched Clarke to her even tighter, ignoring her wound to comfort her.
"Clarke. Shhh, I'm alright."
Lexa rubbed soothing circles into Clarke's back, hoping to calm her some. She had never seen her this hysterical before.
Clarke finally stopped sobbing but continued to cry silently into Lexa's shoulder.
"Clarke, you're shaking."
Clarke's hands fisted in Lexa's shirt and she clutched it tightly almost as if she would never let go.
"I lost you." Clarke croaked out, her voice filled with pain and suffering. "You were gone."
She repeated it again, softly and broken this time, "You were gone."
Lexa kept one arm wrapped around Clarke's waist and used the other hand to stroke her hair soothingly as Clarke buried her face into Lexa's neck and nuzzled it.
"Shhh, Clarke. You didn't lose me. I'm right here."
Clarke pulled back just enough to meet Lexa's gaze. Lexa noticed Clarke's tears had stopped, but she still quaked in Lexa's arms when she whimpered, "You died, Lexa. Right in front of me. I had to do CPR for like 10 minutes and I didn't think you would-"
Lexa closed the distance between them and brought her lips to Clarke's. She poured her heart into that kiss, hoping Clarke knew how much Lexa loved her. She could never leave Clarke. When they broke apart for air, their foreheads rested against each other and Lexa nuzzled against Clarke's nose.
"Ai hod yu in, Klark kom Skaikru. I could never leave you."
Lexa lied down amidst the pillows and furs and pulled Clarke with her, shifting her until she was properly tucked into her side. Clarke still trembled every now and then and each time she did, Lexa pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.
"Sleep, Clarke. I will still be here when you wake up."
She looked up at Lexa and whispered, "Promise?"
Lexa chuckled quietly and quickly kissed the tip of Clarke's nose, "I promise my Skai Prisa."
She nodded and tucked her face into Lexa's shoulder. Just when Lexa thought Clarke had fallen asleep, she heard her whisper, "I love you too, Lexa."