© Amber Kalkes 2015
Song: "Nothing But The Water" By Grace And The Nocturnals
Chapter Eleven: When The Rain Clears
I've always been an observer, even when I was little. Generally I'd grown up being rather quiet and in the corner of other people's lives. I followed behind my mama through her choices and then became a corner stone in my Gran's. It never bothered me to be someone on the side lines, in fact I liked it. It gave you position to see what other's couldn't or didn't want to see.
One of the things I'd learned through that casting of my character was that no one was the same when seen through different eyes. To most in town, Gran and I were seen as trash but we didn't see us that way. Gran saw us as strong women who knew things that other's couldn't comprehend. I saw us as a scapegoat. People weren't going to look at us and see something good when we could reveal the bad in others.
I knew how others saw me too. Ethan saw me as some kind of conquest. Newman saw me the same way but his intentions were based mostly on his own vanity. He wanted to say he bagged the town freak. Sadly for him, I couldn't say the same. To Gran I was a companion. To my mom, I was a much loved burden. To Seth...well, that one I was still trying to figure that one out.
Running a hand through my tangled mess of soaking wet hair, I swiftly diverted my thoughts from that subject. I didn't want to think about Seth, or the lack of him. All I wanted was to go on with my life as it had been before but the more time Seth had been away the less likely it seemed that was going to happen. I couldn't even sleep without thinking about him or, more specifically, his wolf.
Nights of dreaming about his hazel eyes, his thick gray fur and his low growl were setting me on edge. I didn't want to think about him but the more I tried not to, the worse it seemed to be getting. I didn't want this. I didn't want any of it and I suspected he didn't either. It would have explained his behavior towards me. It would have explained his leaving but it wouldn't have explained this damn pain in my chest. It wouldn't have explained this overwhelming longing inside me and that was probably the most frustrating thing of all.
As the house came into view, I let out a small sigh of relief. I needed a warm bath and maybe some tea after this walk. Maybe then I'd be calmed enough to scold my Gran properly for sticking me with Ethan. The thought had me grimacing. I still couldn't believe she'd do that to me. Oh who was I kidding? Of course she would have done that to me. She was Annabelle Marcum for heaven's sake!
A shiver moved down my body and I rubbed my hands up my arms to warm them up. Goosebumps lined my skin and with a glance up to the sky. I smiled a little when the sight of the stubborn sun trying to peek through the unbreakable line of dark clouds. When I looked back towards the house though, my smile dropped and my feet froze. On the porch and through the pouring rain, I could see a phantom on my front step and when its head lifted, I knew it saw me too.
I didn't know what to do so instead I stood there, looking like a drowned rat and staring at the large hazel eyed man before me. He stood up from his place on the stoop. He was dressed in a white t-shirt and jeans combo that had my palms feeling sweaty. I was suddenly forgetting about the reasons I was happy he'd been gone and instead let the longing take over. It was an unhappy revelation but one I couldn't ignore much. I had missed him. I had missed him so much and now that I was seeing him again, I didn't think I could hide it.
His eyes looked me over slowly, taking in every inch of what was visible to him. I was starting to get nervous with the look in his eyes. I couldn't place it but my body was warming every second it was left under the heated gaze. I went painfully ridged when he took a step off the porch and into the downpour.
His reaction was immediate. He went still just outside the porch's cover and narrowed his eyes in my direction. I could see his anger at my reaction but I couldn't seem to think of anything else to do. I was overwhelmed by all of the emotions and thoughts going on in my head. He wasn't supposed to be here. He wasn't even supposed to want to come back here, let alone see me again.
He'd acted so distant during his time at the house. Every time we were alone he acted like he hated my very being. Other times he seemed like he had a hard time keeping away from me. Nothing about him made any sense and as noticed him moving towards me again, an indefinable fear came over me.
What did he want from me? Why was he here? Where had he been? Why did I feel so conflicted about him all the time? All these questions were beating back the longing in my chest and I felt bit by bit of my fear start to give way. Why was I scared of him anyhow? I'd tangled with the likes of him before. Hell, I'd tangled with worse. What was one werewolf compared to any of them?
They weren't Seth.
I scowled at my own brain's answer. It wasn't helping me, not at all. Straightening my back, I forced myself eyes to meet his. He was still staring at me with those beautiful hazel eyes, narrowed in annoyance, the entire time. I faulted in my confidence a little and he halted his advancement again. I could see his jaw lock and his teeth gritting behind his thinned lips. The rain was still falling around us but I didn't feel it anymore. All I felt was the heat of his stare.
"Don't," He growled out suddenly, making me jump, "Don't move away from me."
"I—"
"Don't," He repeated before moving towards me one final time.
His eyes didn't move off of mine as he advanced and only stopped when he was only a few inches away from me. I had to crane my head back to keep eye contact and squinted as rain continued to pelt my face. Seth was ridged as well. His whole body radiated tension and I peeked down to see his hands were curled into fists. My breathing picked up at his closeness.
I could smell him, even through the rain. If anything I could smell him more like this. He smelled so earthy, it made my mouth water. I flinched when I saw one of his fisted hands lift up towards my face and he hesitated to touch me. I pursed my lips and closed my eyes as the tension became almost too much to bear. I gasped a little when I felt his fingertips under my chin. My breathing was becoming shorter and sharper the longer he touched me and when the pad of his thumb caressed my lower lip, I couldn't stay silent anymore.
I opened my eyes and looked right into his as I breathed out one word, "Seth..."
It was all that needed to be said.
His eyes flashed yellow for a second before his hands gripped my face tightly in their grip. I opened my mouth to ask him what he was doing but he muffled my question with his lips. Shocks moved across my skin, heating my cold flesh and giving me goosebumps of another kind. I let out a sharp cry when his teeth dug into my lower lip but he took that as an opportunity to sweep his tongue into my mouth.
I'd never been kissed like this. I'd never felt like this. I'd never even felt anything close enough to compare but at the same time it all felt so...instinctual. Like I had done this a million times before and would do it a million times more. Seth got another yelp out of me when he suddenly crouched down and grabbed the back of my thighs to lift me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and felt heat pool in my lower belly at the pure masculinity rolling off him.
I was too lost in the kiss to even realize we were moving. I gripped the back of his shirt in my hands and pulled my head back to gasp at the feel of him moving against me. I wasn't used to the heat in my lower stomach, or the desperation growing in my chest. I wanted him to touch me all over and I wanted him to do it now. His lips were on my neck, nipping and sucking on the pale flesh as he moved us back towards the house. My hands dug into the soaking dark strands of his hair and held his face against my neck. I shivered when his teeth slide against the pulse in my neck and arched against him.
I didn't even realize we were inside the house until he pressed my back against the flowered wallpaper of the entry way wall. I let out a low moan when his hips pressed themselves between the apexes of my thighs, an obvious bulge making the heat inside me grow brighter.
He grinded against me and my grip on his hair got tight enough that he let out a growl when I pulled harder than intended. The sound of his inner animal pushing through had my breathe hitching in my throat as I tried to get my body as close to his. I wanted and needed all he would give me but even then I was sure it wouldn't be enough.
"Stop," He ordered huskily in my ear as I nuzzled the side of his neck while grinding back against him.
I bite the side of his neck lightly, making him groan in the back of his throat before answering with a defiant, "No."
"Sylvie," He begged roughly, "I can't control myself if you keep going like this."
Feeling brave I answered with a husky voice I barely recognized as my own, "I don't want you to be in control anymore Seth. I want you."
Suddenly his grip on me became harder, almost painful. He moved us away from the wall suddenly, making me cling to him as he began climbing up the stairs. His eyes were locked with my own wide ones as he carried me and I saw the startling gold of his wolf in the depths of that hazel shade I felt I knew so well.
He kicked open my bedroom door and for a moment took the time to look around before locking his eyes on me again. I swallowed hard at the lust in them. It was something I'd seen a few times in my life but one rarely directed at me. People looked at my mother like that. They looked at Gran like that. No one had ever looked at me like with lust before, at least not anyone I wanted looking at me like that.
The question was: did I want Seth to be the one to take away my virginity? It wasn't something I'd ever thought of before. I never met anyone that would ever make me question it. I didn't even like Seth, I reminded myself. Did I really want it to be him to take something that I could regret giving?
"You're thinking too much," He gruffly commented as he laid me gently on my bed. I scowled up at him as he crawled over me, his massive arms by my head as he kept his weight off me, "You'll drive yourself crazy doing that."
"Maybe you're not thinking enough," I snapped back.
His jaw clenched as he narrowed his eyes at me. I didn't feel bad for saying it. It dawned on me then that I liked when Seth was annoyed with me. I liked his glares as much as I did his smiles, as rare as the latter was. I liked that I could drive him insane in both good and bad way. The man was too stuck up his own ass to realize that he wasn't immune to my teasing, no matter how much I wanted him right at that moment.
"I want to be gentle with you," He said roughly suddenly, pulling me out of my thoughts, "I want to take my time with you. I want to make you never regret this."
I swallowed hard, my body reduced to uncontrollable shivers at his words, "You're saying it like you think that's not going to happen."
"You have no idea the amount of control I have to use every time I'm around you do you? How much of an effort it takes not to just take you like I've wanted to since I first laid eyes on you? How many times I've had to fight against my baser instincts just to keep my head on straight every time I catch even a hint of your scent?
"M-My scent," I questioned.
He buried his nose in my neck and inhaled deeply before leaning back with the most blissful look on his face, "It's addicting."
"W-What," I started before clearing my throat, "What do I smell like?"
He opened his eyes and locked them with mine, "Perfection."
"That doesn't—"
"You're mine," he proclaimed suddenly, his eyes taking that unnaturally yellow sheen, "All mine, Sylvie. No one can have you but me."
Fear gripped me at his words, "What are you talking about right now?"
"You belong to me," He groaned against my neck as he inhaled my scent again, "You were always meant to belong to me."
I pushed up against his chest but he didn't budge, "What are you talking about?"
"Mine," He growled and grabbed my hands quickly so he could pin them over my head, "All mine."
"Seth," I whimpered as he nipped at my neck again, "Don't."
"Mine."
One of his hands began moving down the side of my body and his fingers danced along the hem of my dress. I bit my lip and stared up at the ceiling as his rough finger tips brushed against the smooth skin of my thighs. Suddenly, his nails bit into my skin and I cried out at the discomfort. He growled lowly in my ear and grabbed the fabric of my dress tighter in his grip. The sound of the fabric ripping filled the room and brought me crashing down to earth.
"Stop," I breathed out as I stiffened against him, "Seth, stop."
He shook his head as his lips moved down to my chest, "Mine."
"Seth," I squeaked when his teeth nipped at the top of one of my breasts, "Please, stop."
"No," he growled making me jump as his purely yellow eyes looked up at me, "Mine!"
His hands became rough and demanding as they pried my legs apart and began trying to get between my legs. I tried to keep them closed but he wasn't having it. He growled at me in warning and I stilled at the sound of it. This wasn't the Seth I could verbally combat with anymore. This wasn't even Seth at all. In that moment I realized Seth wasn't with me anymore. Who I had, clawing at my skin and attempting to take me without permission, was his wolf.
"Stop," I cried as he painfully ripped my underwear from me body, "Stop please!"
"Mine!"
Tears were brimming my eyes when one of his fingers roughly entered me making me let out a broken sob as well. He groaned deep in his chest but that only made it worse. I didn't want this. I didn't it to be like this. I tried to get my wrists out from his grip but he didn't budge an inch. All I had was my legs. It was all I could use to stop this before it got too far.
"Please," I cried out brokenly on another sob, "Please stop."
It didn't work.
So, I did the only thing I could think to do. I bent my leg and kneed him right in the crotch. Seth stilled on top of me before a painful groan erupted from his lips. He rolled off me and fell onto the floor beside my bed, clutching himself in his hands. I scrambled off the bed and into the farthest corner from him and watched him with wide teary eyes. I didn't want to run. I knew I wouldn't make it far but I also knew that Seth would never touch me like his wolf had if he'd been in control. At least, that's what I told myself.
"What the hell!" He yelled, making me jump.
"You wouldn't stop," I informed him weakly, "I told you to stop but you wouldn't stop. I didn't know what else to do."
He frowned at me before regret so strong flashed across his face. My heart broke a little for him but I didn't let myself dwell on the fact. I was rightfully pissed at him and I refused to let him get away with this. Before I knew what was happening, he was on his feet and coming towards me. I pushed myself as far away from him as I could and he stopped a few feet away from me.
"Sylvie, I didn't mean to. I would never..."
"You almost did exactly that or at least your wolf almost did!"
He closed his eyes in pain before he let out a slow exhale, "I warned you that you didn't want me out of control."
I sprung to my feet and glared at him, "Don't you dare try to blame this on me!"
"I—"
"I asked for you to lose control, you! Not your wolf! I didn't ask for him! I asked for you! I trust you Seth! Who I don't trust is the beast inside of you that doesn't take 'no' for an answer!"
Rage spread across his face as he boomed, "He is part of me! You want me then you'll have both of us!"
"Then I don't want you!"
His face twisted into a look of pain that I'd never seen before. I almost took the words back but I didn't go through it. Instead I straightened my back and crossed my arms over my chest in a protective gesture. I didn't feel as confident as I had before. If anything I'd never felt less safe in Seth's presence as I did right then.
"You smell like him," he said suddenly making me frown at him. His gaze was guarded as he met my gaze, "The boy you went on a date with. You smell of him, even through the rain, he was all over you."
"What's your point?"
He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, "My wolf is very possessive..."
"Another excuse," I scoffed.
"An explanation," He said, stressing the last word.
"Well I don't need either of them!" I yelled at him, "Why are you even here Seth? You were supposed leave here! I wasn't supposed to see you again!"
"Because of you," He yelled back before nearly tearing his hair out as he moved his hand through it again, "You drive me insane."
"The feeling is mutual."
"I didn't want to come back but I didn't have a choice," He told me gruffly, "Things are happening outside this little castle you and your grandmother have made yourself."
I eyed him doubtfully, "What do you mean?"
"I mean that wolf pack on your land is mobilizing and it's not in your favor."
"What the hell does that mean?" I questioned in a fresh frustration of my own.
"Seth," Gran's voice suddenly called, making us both twist around in surprise, "This isn't the time."
"You can't keep her in the dark forever Annabelle!"
"She is my blood Seth and no matter what you or your wolf may feel towards her, that trumps everything when it comes to her safety."
Seth growled before taking a step towards Gran, "All I care about is her safety!"
"What is happening," I demanded as the two went quiet and glared at each other, "Seth? Gran? Anybody? Jesus! I'm not a child! Somebody talk to me!"
"Don't take the lord's—"
"Tell me!"
Gran gave Seth one last glare before walking around him to come towards me. She put her hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes solemnly before they flickered to something on my neck. Her cat like orbs narrowed at whatever she was looking at before she met my confused gaze once again.
"Did he mark you?"
"Did he what?" I asked but it was cut off by Seth's outburst.
"That's none of your business Annabelle and you know it!"
"She is my grandbaby! It most certainly is my business!"
I was sick of all this bickering. I was so sick of it that I did something I'd never done in my life and probably never thought I'd do again. I grabbed my grandmother by the shoulders, turned her toward me and made a simple demand.
"Tell me what's happening."
And to my surprise she did and everything changed.
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Whose the worse Author in the world? Me apparently! At least when It comes to updates! If you've been waiting patiently for the update for this, I love you so much right now. I wish I hadn't taken so long to get this to you but life is so crazy right now! I don't expect to be forgiven but since I brought Seth back maybe you'll hold back on killing me ;}
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