Chapter Twenty-Seven (Julian)
Wulf forced me to go to bed as soon as we got back.
But I couldn't sleep.
Every time I closed my eyes, I saw everything, everyone. Dead. I saw the ocean of blood on the floor, the splatters on the walls, pews, alter, and even the statue of Jesus that hung above the alter. It scared me so much that I opened my eyes again. I couldn't sit still and no matter how much I curled up and waited to cry, no tears came. It was like I had completely cried myself out.
I paced around the room at night, peeking through the curtains at the city below. When I had first arrived, it looked beautiful with its multicolored lights flashing, cars moving through the trees, river twinkling from the lights of the casinos in Canada. Now, it suddenly seemed darker, colder, forebading.
I tried taking a shower, but no matter how much I scrubbed, I couldn't clean off the filth that clung to my skin. The water was too hot or too cold, couldn't get it right. I got soap in my eyes and almost fell over three times, so I managed to get out without dying, unfortunately.
I felt like a zombie, like I was on autopilot.
This couldn't be real. How could this be possible? Why was this happening to me? Why was this happening to my family, my friends?
I came out of the shower and hesitated to see that Wulf had laid out a pair of pajamas while I was in the shower. I couldn't tell what he thought he was doing, but I didn't say anything. I did not, however, want to think he was making me feel better, so I tossed the pajamas in the toilet before I went to bed in the nude. I wrapped the blankets around me tightly like a cocoon, but even then, I couldn't bring myself to sleep.
I stared through the darkness at the wall, trying to organize everything in my head, but it was too difficult.
"I swear to you, I will never die, Julian. I promise you that."
Adam's voice rang in my head and this time, a wave of tears hit me and I choked on a sob, squeezing my eyes shut and burying my face in the blankets, trying to hide from his voice in my ears, but it wouldn't stop.
"You'll always be my King, Adam. Always."
"This is probably the first time in my life that I've ever doubted myself and the decisions I make... And right when I thought I was going to end up alone again, you told me exactly what I wanted to hear."
The sobs came out harsher and burned my throat. Tears stung my eyes as I pulled one of the pillows around, hugging it tightly, but it still didn't make up for what I had lost. It wasn't warm like Adam, wasn't muscular, didn't smell like leather and smoke, didn't snore, didn't mumble.
"... I must be the luckiest guy in town, huh?"
I could still feel his breath on my face, the way his lips felt against mine, against my ear, against my skin. His hands buried in my hair, his body spooned against mine, his breath on my neck.
"Tonight's our night."
I curled up tightly, wrapping the blankets around me and wishing they would just suffocate me and kill me already. My heart ached and my chest was tight. I felt like I'd just been thrown through a blender, then stomped on my Godzilla. My throat was sore from sobbing so much and my nose was so runny and my head hurt. My eyes were puffy and I was tempted to get back up and just try to fill up the tub to drown myself, but it wouldn't work.
My body wouldn't let me do it, no matter how much my heart wanted to. I wanted to just close my eyes forever. Maybe I'd wake up in Summerland or something and find everyone again.
I wanted to be with my family and my friends again. I wanted my mom to hug me and scold me and tease me. I wanted my father to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay and he'd make it better. I wanted Adam to be there to kiss me and smile to let me know everything was okay.
But when I opened my eyes, I only saw the darkness of my bedroom.
I sniffled and choked down the next wave of tears, but they exploded anyway and shrank further into my sheets, sobbing and whimpering as I clung desperately to my pillow.
I had no idea when or how I fell asleep, but the next thing I knew, there were people in my room and moving around, not caring if they woke me up. Two Zephyra members stood by the door, both armed and ready to kick me back into submission while four more were rushing around to get everything ready.
My heart clenched. He was still going to get married to me after what happened yesterday?
I wanted to spit at him and scream, but I was so tired. My eyes were swollen and my throat was raw. I didn't move from the bed, just tried to bury myself deeper into the blankets until I felt someone tugging at them.
"Excuse me, Julian? You need to get up now, honey." Came a woman's timid voice. I didn't recognize her voice and I didn't care. I couldn't muster up the motivation or strength to obey her command, so I remained under the blankets. I could hear her gulp audibly before she tugged a little more at the blankets.
"You need to wake up. Wulf isn't... patient right now." She added nervously.
Isn't patient? Wulf isn't patient?
He just had my entire family killed, my lover, and my friends. He could fucking wait the rest of eternity and I still wouldn't be ready. However, I would rather deal with this woman and her sympathy than Wulf and his harshness. So I forced myself to push the blankets back as I sat up slowly, reaching up to wipe at my face.
The woman was a bit on the plump side with brown hair pulled back into a ponytail, her green eyes watching me cautiously. She wasn't human, but a vampire, which meant she was part of Zephyra and that alone made me want to gut her, but instead, I just threw my legs over the side of the bed and stood up silently. My legs felt like Jell-O, like I would fall and hit the floor any minute, but somehow, I managed to stay standing, even as she led me to the bathroom. I was forced to sit down as she and two other people came in to clean up my face.
"Your eyes are swollen." The plump woman commented quietly as she brushed my hair. Normally, I would've given her some kind of sarcastic response, but my brain felt like it was dying, so I just gave her a blunt answer.
"My family is dead." I replied in monotone. She grimaced and looked at the guy, who was helping her with my hair. He said nothing, just mirrored her pained look before he looked down to continue spraying something that smelled like strawberries into my hair.
"Is this really all you have?"
I instantly remembered the first time Adam and I had sex when he picked up the bottle of strawberry lotion from my nightstand, the lotion Amber sent me as a birthday gift one year. I knew Adam didn't like the lotion, but he used it anyway so it wouldn't hurt so much whenever we had sex. Buying lube would make my mom suspicious and she'd probably rip us both to pieces, then tell my dad and my dad would ground me for years to come, then be forced to give me the awkward sex talk.
"Is that strawberry?" I asked quietly, watching as the guy started to set the spray down, then paused to look at the bottle before he nodded. I held my hand out for it and he gave it to me hesitantly. I looked at the label on the bottle and my heart did a 180 as I recognized the brand name. The same brand name as my lotion. I popped the top open and brought it to my nose, inhaling the scent deeply for a moment before I capped it and set it down, staring at it as they cleaned and styled my hair.
Whoever said a wedding was a person's happiest day... they were lying.
My stomach was drawing tighter and tighter as everyone kept pampering me and trying to get me ready. They ended up leaving my hair down because trying to style it up was too difficult considering my hair was really silky and straight, and layered. They just sprayed it with glitter and the strawberry stuff, then fitted the tiara in my hair with a veil hooked to it.
I stared at the tiara in the mirror as three guys worked to get the stupid white dress Wulf had ordered me to fit me just right.
It reminded me of the tiara from the winter dance at school. I wonder who had won it? Probably Katie and her boyfriend. It would've suited them better... A little anyway. I couldn't imagine anyone, but Adam wearing the king's crown. I felt a lump trying to make its way to my throat, but I swallowed hard and drank the glass of blood they gave me to wash it down.
They tightened the corset to the point where I couldn't cry even if I wanted to. The sobs wouldn't even be able to escape my lungs. They spent another hour attaching the back of the dress and another hour shaking out the wrinkles from its packaging. I slipped the white gloves onto my arms and they secured them up to my elbows. A guy helped me pull the white fish net stockings up to my knees with white garters, and a pair of ankle boots with a crystal heel.
"You look beautiful," The plump lady from before said as she smoothed out the veil, "For a man. You still manage to look like a man, even in a dress, but it looks very good on you. White suits you." She went to turn me to face the mirror, but I turned away.
"I don't want to look." I answered emotionlessly. She gave me a sad stare, the cleared her throat as she picked up a black velvet box and popped it open to reveal a white lace choker studded with diamonds, a ruby cut into the shape of a tear drop that was supposed to rest at the center of my collarbone. She came around me to snap it on before she adjusted it and stepped back to study me from head to toe. She only nodded now before gathering up the packaging from the dress and leaving the room, taking the rest of the Zephyra group with her. The two who had been guarding from the inside stayed, though, and watched me like robots.
I came over to the bed and sat down, staring at the floor and trying to imagine how this would go.
Just like any other wedding, right? But I didn't know what to say.
No, that was wrong. I knew exactly what I wanted to say. I wanted to tell Wulf to rot in the darkest pits of Hell for all eternity. I wanted him to suffer the most painful death in the history of the universe. I wanted him to pay for everything he'd done to me and my family and my friends, and Adam.
But obviously that wasn't going to work and Wulf wouldn't kill me for ruining his perfect pervert wedding-- He'd torture me.
Who was going to be there anyway? Did Wulf even have a family? And if they did, did they know about his sick twisted hobbies? Who was I going to walk down the aisle with? Wasn't it usually the father?
And after the wedding, what then? Would we come back here? Would Wulf be preparing to consumate our wedding? Because if I could just gather up any amount of strength I had left, I'd use it to rip him a new one.
"Knock, knock." Speak of the devil and he shall appear.
I looked up as Wulf came into the room, wearing a white silk suit with a tie and a blood red rose pinned to his jacket. His hair was slicked back and trimmed, his face shaved neatly. He would've been handsome if he wasn't such a backstabbing son of a bitch. I just gave him a blank stare as he approached me, humming. He reached out and cupped my face gently, studying me.
"Hmm... Those make up experts are very good at what they do. I can't even see what's left of the cut on your cheek from yesterday. Eyes are a bit swollen, but it doesn't matter," He shrugged, then looked at me with an endearing smile, "Beautiful nonetheless. Your eyes look so blue, Julian. Like sapphires. And your hair is so gorgeous like this." He leaned in and inhaled deeply, shivering at the smell before he rose to his feet. I felt like he was waiting for a compliment, but I wasn't going to give him one.
"It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding." I muttered blankly, dropping my eyes to the floor. I could still see Wulf's glare at that, though. He reached out and grabbed me by the elbow, jerking me up off the bed and slamming me into the bed post so the wood bit into my back and almost popped the corset right off me.
"According to humans," Wulf sneered in my face, his arms grabbing mine tightly, "But it means nothing to us. Enough with your helpless whimpering and pathetic act. You are going to marry me and you will become my wife." Something in me snapped at that and I flung my head forward, cracking our heads together. Wulf hissed and took a few steps back, covering his forehead that was turning red. I ignored the throbbing in my head and bared my fangs at him.
"I'm a fucking boy, you sick twisted son of a bitch. I'm not your wife and I am not your bitch, so get your fucking hands off me before I rip them off." I seethed. Wulf looked caught off guard for a split second before his face mottled red. He moved lightening fast and backhanded me so hard that I hit the floor, gasping in pain as I touched my jaw that pulsed in agony. Wulf glared down at me hatefully.
"You're whatever I say you are. And don't worry, I'll probably find someone much prettier than you for my collection and marry them. S'not to say that I won't sell you, though. I keep all of my wives, men and women. You may have lost your previous family, but you're about to be introduced into a whole new one." He snapped, then stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him after the other two remaining Zephyra members left.
I sat on the floor, leaning against the bed for a while, my arms around my knees, even though the position made the corset suffocate me further. I just wished it would kill me already. I wished someone would kill me already.
I didn't want to do this.
I didn't want to marry Wulf.
I didn't want to become apart of his family.
I wanted my family.
I wanted my friends.
I wanted... my lover.
Adam was supposed to be the one I stood next to in front of a priest, or priestess. Adam was supposed to be the one dressed in a suit, waiting for me by the alter. He was the one I was supposed to be married to, the one I wanted to handfast with, the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
I sat there in silence, staring at nothing in particular and viciously fighting back memories. I remembered the vision Daimonas had given me of Wulf freaking out on me for crying, and I didn't want to be hit again.
Daimonas, I thought miserably. Was he still in the incubator? What was going to happen to him now that Ikuto was dead? Would they kill him? That only made me feel worse, so I fought the thought long enough for Orion to be the one to walk into my room.
He wore a black pinstripe suit, a little odd considering he always wore his riding jacket. Even his hair was slicked back.
"Time to go, sweetheart." He greeted. He didn't sound too enthusiastic, though. I was feeling the same way, so I forced myself to get up and follow him out of the room. Orion walked close to my side, with four other Zephyra members following us closely as we made our way out of the room.
"Wulf's already at the church," Orion informed me as we made our way to the elevators, "We're going to walk in and you guys do your thing so we can get out."
"You're taking me down the aisle?" I asked flatly as we stood in wait for the elevator. Orion gave me a droll stare.
"I didn't want to do it, but there was no one else. Sorry, kid. I'm about as excited for this as you are. I just wanna go home, fuck my girlfriend, and take care of my brother." He drawled as the elevator came to a stop for us and we got inside. I gave Orion a sour stare.
"You don't want to take care of your brother. I had a vision of you treating him like crap." I deadpanned. The corner of Orion's lip tilted up.
"I have my own idea of taking care of Ollie. It's his fault half of my life is destroyed anyway. I used to sit around, have sex, get drunk, and party. Then when he went all paralysis on me, our dad decided that I would take his place. If I had it my way, I'd be home watching illegally downloaded Disney movies with my girl."
"You watch Disney movies?"
"No, but she does, and if she's happy, trust me, I'll be happy."
"I can't believe someone like you even has a girlfriend."
"Even the soulless can have a lover, kid." Orion answered coolly, and our conversation ended. I was already tired of talking, and I would only have to do more once we reached the church. We left the elevator and made our way across the walkways to the parking garage where the limo was probably waiting. We passed by a small candy shop when I saw a flash of blue that my instinct caught right away and I snapped my head to search the shop, slowing my pace, but there was nothing there.
The little spark of hope in me died and I hurried to keep up with Orion when one of the Zephyra members shoved me. We went down the stairs and to the long stretch limo that was waiting. Humiliation swallowed me as men and women on the streets paused to oogle, some taking pictures, and others grimacing and muttering under their breathes.
Orion pushed me into the limo and climbed in beside me with two other Zephyra members, while the remaining two got in the front seat. The car started and we headed into the city, but it only took a few minutes to get there and when Orion opened the door, my stomach churned as I recognized the church from yesterday.
"I thought we were getting a different church." I managed. Orion frowned, glancing up at the church, squinting in the sunlight before he turned and held his hand out to me.
"Looks like having a clean up team is essential to a terrorist group." He answered. I glanced at him, mildly surprised that he called it a terrorist group for the first time, before I took his hand reluctantly and he helped me out. The other Zephyra members followed close behind and we approached the doors.
The air was icy cold and the wind bit at my cheeks and pulled at the tiara in my hair. I felt goose bumps sliding across my skin before Orion glanced down at his watch, eyes narrowed.
"Ten minutes until show time. Ready?" He asked me.
"Never."
"Good."
I looked away to glance up and down the street. I briefly contemplated the idea of screaming for help, but humans wouldn't be able to do anything. Then I wondered if jumping out into the traffic would kill me, but the thought barely crossed my mind before Orion linked his arm with mine and gave me a warning stare that dared me to pull away, then had one of the Zephyra members shove a bouquet of white roses into my hands. I swallowed hard, but obeyed him as we walked inside, the large doors creaking open to reveal the inside.
The church had been completely cleaned and scrubbed from floor to ceiling, the busted pews and alter replaced. They even got a new priest, who wasn't trembling and crying half the time. He just stood stone still, staring straight ahead while Wulf stood nearby, watching us with a light dancing in his eyes. The sound of the organ playing off to the right vibrated the floor under my feet and I almost fell because of the heels, but managed to make it down the aisle.
As I looked at the first pews, my stomach clenched. Newell was sitting in the first pew, blindfolded. His hands were nailed down into the pew at his sides, huge nails driven through his thighs to keep him sitting. Blood steadily dripped past his lips into his lap and he wasn't moving an inch. I looked quickly at Orion and Wulf, but neither of them said a thing about it.
Orion finally let go of me and let me stand beside Wulf as he went over and sat beside Newell, smacking him hard in the stomach. Newell choked and coughed, spitting up blood into his lap, but that was all he managed. He didn't dare say a word.
The priest started speaking, but to me, it sounded like gibberish. I couldn't understand how he could do this without freaking out like the last priest. I wasn't even speaking yet and I was already panicking. My heart was kicking into overdrive, beating hard against the inside of my chest. I tightened my grip on the bouquet in my hands, strangling the things so tightly that the thorns silently tore through the white tissue and dug into my hands through my gloves.
I could feel the sob trying to rise to my throat, pushing past the corset. I blinked my eyes rapidly, swallowing hard to keep the sobs and bile at bay.
"Do you, Wulf Xionius, take Julian Alexander Grey to be your lawfully wedded... wife?" He asked, making Wulf glare at him momentarily for the pause before he straightened himself.
"I do." He answered firmly. The priest nodded, then turned to me. His eyes bored into mine and I could see him pleading for his life, his pity searing me.
"Do you, Julian Alexander Grey, take Wulf Xionius to be your lawfully wedded husband?" He asked, his voice steady despite the tremor in his hands as he held his bible. I didn't know what to say for a moment. I wanted to tell Wulf to shove his proposal where the sun didn't shine, I wanted to rip his throat open and spill his blood, I wanted to scream no and run away, but Wulf gave me a tight squeeze on my wrist that threatened to break my wrist and I managed to choke out an "I do".
The priest's shoulders slumped in defeat as he cleared his throat.
"If there be anyone present who may show just and lawful cause why this couple may not be legally wed, let him speak now or forever hold his peace." He announced, making Wulf roll his eyes at the ridiculous statement.
"Then, by the authority vested in me--"
"FUCK YOU!"
I blinked, my eyes widening at the sound of a voice I never thought I would hear again. The color drained from Wulf's face as he whipped around. Orion shot to his feet, turning to stare in shock down the aisle. The doors had been thrown open and two dead Zephyra members lay bleeding heavily on the carpet.
Standing in the doorway, shirtless, with blood splattered across the front of him, dark hair sticking to his temples with sweat and hazel eyes raging, Adam John Wayne breathed hard as he spoke again, his voice filling the church.
"I object! I have something to fucking say!"