I couldn't move, I should be shocked because I'm sitting next to unconscious Crystal with blood dripping out of the back of her head. But I was being selfish, I was thinking of myself and how I just hurt the girl I promised I would never hurt.
What have I done?
"This bitch could be dying, I think I should help her up." I thought to myself. I got up and grabbed a wad of paper towels near the sink and folded them and pressed them up against her gash.
The paper towels soaked in all the blood quickly, I continued applying pressure to the wound, I stopped when I heard the door open.
Hoping it was Lauren I looked towards the door of the stall and heard two girls, whom had familiar voices.
"Yeah, I think they're in here." I heard Becca say. Then the door swung open, "holy shit, Camila. What happened here?"
"Is she bleeding? Damn, I know you don't like her, but that doesn't mean you had to kill her, Camila." Danica said laughing.
I gave Danica a dirty look, because now wasn't the time to joke, I already wasn't in the mood and her being sarcastic wasn't helping at all.
"Becca, I need you to do me a huge favor." I said.
Becca walked towards me and asked me, "I got you on anything, what is it?"
"Crystal wasn't the only one hurt in this incident.." I said avoiding eye contact.
"Lauren?" She asked with a questionable look.
I nodded,l and chewed on my bottom lip due to the nervousness. Becca gave me a nod to signal me to go find Lauren and fix things with her.
I rushed passed Danica, I heard her shout at Becca, "just because she has girlfriend issues doesn't mean we have to be fucking Scooby and Shaggy and fix the problem. This is her mess, have her deal with it."
"Danica, get me more paper towels." Becca ordered. "Just know that I'm blaming all of this on her, it wasn't me at all. I'm just helping Crystal out because this bitch looks like she's about to see the light at any second." Danica snarled.
I felt the sun pierce my eyes, I squinted because the light was too intense. "Lauren!" I yelled. "Lauren!" I yelled again.
It came to me, "maybe she's at the pond." Yeah! She's at the pond! I ran through the shaded woods to find the girl I broke. I heard the familiar stream noise, and a faint cry.
I saw Lauren sitting on a boulder with her head buried in her knees, her back kept bouncing up and down, she was trying to catch her breath in between cries. She picked her head up and ran her fingers through her hair and wiped her eyes.
I snuck up behind her and tapped on her shoulder, "Lauren..?" She jumped, "oh my god!" Then she squinted and noticed it was me.
"What the fuck do you want, Camila?" She asked me shakily.
"I came here to apologize."
She laughed, "just leave, remember? You wanted nothing to do with me? Or you wish you shouldn't have? Yeah, go do that. Fuck you."
My heart fell and shattered into a million pieces like it was a fragile piece of China. "I didn't mean it, Lauren. I said that out of fear and anger."
She looked into the distance, she obviously wanted nothing to do with me, "it was obviously on your mind, I mean you said it, so it was held there in your mind somewhere, now wasn't it?"
She was right, I felt as if I was there for one reason, that reason was to better myself in singing. I wasn't there to fall in love, but I did sadly.
I pushed out the only words I felt would change her mind, "I.....I-love yo-" I was then interrupted by Lauren who chimed in, "Save it, Camila. You already broke one promise, let's not break another."
She got off of the grey boulder with her chin up, hands in her pocket and a familiar smile on her face.
She walked away.
"Lauren, Lauren, please.." I shouted.
Lauren took her hands out of her pockets and put both of them in the air as she flipped me off with both hands, "go fuck yourself, Camila. That's probably the only thing you're good at anyways." She said all while continuously walking away.
Gravity pulled me to the ground as I sat in the leaves, "promises are a bunch of bullshit, but I love her. I love you, Lauren." I said weeping into my hands.
I felt my phone buzzing in my back pocket, a little picture of Sofi was in the corner of the screen, she was calling me.
"Hey, Mil-a...Mila...? Are you okay?" Sofi asked squinting her eyes.
I moved the screen so she couldn't see me wiping my eyes, "yeah, Sofi! I'm perfectly fine. I just miss you, that's all." I lied partially.
"Mommy got an email from the camp saying that your performance is soon! We're gonna see you soon, Mila, don't be too sad. I love you!" She said giving me virtual kisses.
I gave her some kisses back and said, "guess what? I might be performing the song you've been wanting to hear. I'm getting a solo just so you can see me." I said cheerfully.
"Really? The rock song?? But you sing it kinda soft because you're my angel." She said batting her eyelashes.
"I'm your Angel? And yes, I'm singing your rock song." I laughed.
"Yes you're my angel, sissy. Ooh boy! I can't wait to see you sing it! I made you a surprise! I'm gonna send it to you in a little bit."
"Can you tell me what it is?" I asked.
"Then it wouldn't be a surprise, silly." She laughed.
"Okay, well..I have some things to take care of, maybe I'll call you tomorrow. I love you, tell mom and papi I love them too." I said.
"Alrighty then! I'll tell them, love you too. Sleep tight, and stay happy..because you don't look to happy."
"I'm happy, I promise." I lied.
The
I broke two promises in less than an hour, that is why I don't take promises seriously.
"Whatever you say, I love you. Bye!"
I saw the red button blink signaling that she had hung up. I dropped the phone and just cried. I cried and cried. I broke Lauren's heart, I couldn't get my mind off of that. I had to fix it, no matter what.
Lauren may have thought this was over, but I was going to do everything in my power to fix her heart that I shred, if it was the last thing I do.
[Lauren's POV]
"How could I be so stupid? Love isn't real, that's why you never get involved with love, Lauren. That's why you're a hookup type of girl." I thought to myself.
My phone was buzzing, Camila's name kept popping up on my screen. I didn't want to talk to her at all. She fucked up with me, I'm not giving her my time of day, and if I did, for what? It's not like she cared anyway.
I opened up my phone and saw a couple of texts keep flowing, they read:
C: Lauren, talk to me.
C: Lauren, I'm not stopping until you answer.
C: Lauren, please. We need to talk.
I was tired of my phone being blown up, and I can't help it, I love the girl. I needed to reply.
L: it's not going to work, just dump me already.
I know we weren't official, but I just wanted her to dump me so she had nothing else to do with me.
I received a quick reply.
C: You're telling me to do the impossible. How am I supposed to break up with the love of my life?
L: if it's best for you, don't second guess it.
C: you're what's best for me.
C: I need you.
I paused and looked at my screen for a while, "is she being serious? Is she saying this just to make me feel better?"
L: This is what it feels like to have your heart broken, doesn't it?
C: Lauren, that's not what I wanted to do at all.
"What does she mean? Doesn't she know that what she said hurt? She said she wish she had nothing to do with me. That fucking hurt." I thought to myself.
L: I know it's not, but just hearing shit like this hurts, Camila.
C: this is why I wanted you to end up dumping my stupid ass, because I hate having to put you through this bullshit.
I was hurt, I've never been through a heartbreak. This was my first, I was a tough person who hated emotions and love. I thought love what the type of thing you can only see in the movies, but what I felt was real. I guess that's why it hurt so much.
I felt like I couldn't breathe, I felt like my chest was caving in and my lungs were being pierced by my collapsing ribs.
I had to continue my tough act and just deal with it, I tried to deal with the situation the best way I knew how.
Just basically ignore the fact that I was hurt.
L: I'm fine, Camila. Don't worry about it.
C: Please stop putting your tough shell back on.
L: I'm fine, Camila. I'm okay.
C: Please talk to me instead of giving me that bullshit.
I felt like I should just admit to her how I felt, maybe it would just shut her up. I wanted her to know how she made me feel.
L: I'm just super fucking torn right now, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? My happiness is being taken away for not only a couple of days, but completely. This fucking sucks, I'm heart broken. I feel like shit.
I didn't receive a reply from her. I continued my nightly routine, and then I heard my roommate Danica walk inside.
"Thanks to you and your relationship issues, Becca and I had to clean up a half dead girl in the restroom because you chose to storm out. Thanks a lot, Lauren." Danica said wiping her hands on her jeans.
"You're washing this blood out of my jeans, dude." Danica exclaimed.
"Alright." I replied.
"Hey, you aren't usually like this. What happened in there?" Danica asked.
I was surprised, Danica never cared to hear about my feelings. I wasn't very open about my feelings so I didn't expect her to ask normally.
"Camila just said some super hurtful things in there. She kinda broke my heart." I said looking at the floor.
"You have a heart, Jauregui?" She laughed, walking towards me.
She took a seat on my bed next to me and put her hand on my knee, "I'm kidding. But, like I said..you need to wash my jeans."
Did Danica just disregard what I just said? Obviously, she just cared about her tainted jeans. She unbuttoned the top of her jeans and slid them down, she was left in her t-shirt and blue lace panties. She dropped the jeans on my lap.
"I could probably get Camila off of your mind." Danica said seductively.
"Danica, what are you doing?" I asked surprised.
"Don't speak, just feel." Danica said placing my hands on her hips. She picked up my chin and kissed my lips.
The kiss deepened, her tongue was exploring my mouth. Danica obviously was skilled at kissing, she was kissing me like a pro. She leaned into me and straddled onto my lap, "give me your hands." She whispered.
I did as she said surprisingly, I guess I was caught up in the lust of my tan roommate. I gave her my hands and she placed both of her hands on her breasts.
"Give them a little rub, Lauren. Don't act like you've never touched boobs before." She said in my mouth.
I was super skilled at sex and hooking up in general, it just didn't feel right because it wasn't Camila. I wanted this with Camila and Camila only.
But I eventually gave into Danica's wishes and did so, her breasts were very perky, just like I liked them.
"These feel just like Camila's." I whispered accidentally.
"Shit...sorry, Danica." I tried to recover.
"Wow, just when I thought you were fun. Way to blow it, Jauregui. You're definitely in love with this chick. But I wanna finish, why not, right?"
I just nodded, Camila broke my heart. I don't owe her anything, she could kiss my ass for all I care.
"Let's finish this, babe." I smirked.
I brought Danica on top of me and placed my hands on her ass, which was perky just like her breasts. I moved my hands in small circular motions, I was being pretty rough honestly.
"Oh, shit. That feels great." Danica moaned into my ear.
Danica was kissing my neck, I felt her sucking on my neck in some pretty visible places.
"I hope Camz doesn't see these.."
Danica lifted her head up and met my gaze, "would you shut the hell up about Camila? I'm just trying to fuck you here, stop interrupting me."
She dropped her head back down to its previous position and began to suck on my neck. She probably gave me about five hickies. I hated hickies, I've always thought they looked pretty trashy, but I was too caught up in too many emotions to tell her to stop.
"You're leaving a lot, Camila is going to see them? Isn't she?" I asked groaning.
"Fuck this. You're annoying. I'm going to bed. Night, Lauren." Danica said walking towards her bed.
"Sorry, night.."
"Ever since we kissed the first day we met, I've always had this small crush on you, but I see that you're obviously really into Camila, so it just doesn't feel right trying to fuck you knowing your mind is on someone else. You know? No hard feelings though. I bet you're really fun to fuck when you aren't heartbroken."
"Yeah, just ask Camila." I said laughing.
"There you go talking about Camila again, you're deep in love. I feel sorry for you. Well, night."
"I'm so screwed, I'm in love. Fuck."
I was searching around the bed looking for my phone, my hands were feeling around my bed. "Mind turning on a light, Danica?" I asked.
She turned the light on and I found my phone, I clicked my home button with my thumb to see many missed notifications from Camila.
C: I feel like I can't breathe.
C: I'm not going away.
C: I'm never leaving you.
C: I'm not just going to sleep on it.
C: and you can't either.
C: I'm calling you tomorrow night.
C: this conversation isn't over, and either is our relationship.
C: I'm going to fix all of this, I promise.
Was she really going to fix it? Was this all an act? Is she really going to fight for me like she says she is?
[Camila's POV]
I was laying in my bed, staring at the ceiling. "Camila, are you okay?" Becca asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just feel really stupid. I told Lauren I wasn't gonna break her heart, and what did I do? I fucking broke it."
Becca replied, "don't stress it, if you really love her you're going to fight for her. Don't give up on her."
I looked to my left, to Becca's side of the room, "I'm not gonna give up on her, I promise."
-
I walked into the mess hall, and saw Lauren sitting with Danica. Lauren was very close to Danica, too close.
"Hey, Lauren." I said.
"Hey, Becca." Lauren said looking at Becca beside me.
"Hey, aren't you gonna say hi to Camila?" Becca asked nervously.
"Why would I want to greet her?" She asked.
Lauren turned to Danica and laughed, I noticed Lauren's neck; it was covered in dark purple splotches. Lauren had a neck full of hickies.
"Come here, I'm not playing with you." I said grabbing Lauren's wrist and pulling her towards me.
"Get the fuck off of me! What are you doing?" Lauren exclaimed.
I pulled Lauren to a secluded area, and was about to confront her about the trashy blood spots on her neck.
"What the fuck are those?! We split up for one day and you're already getting hickies? Who gave you those?!"
"Camila-please.." Lauren whimpered.
"Who the fuck gave you those?! Wait..it was Danica, wasn't it?" I began to put two and two together.
"Don't move." I said.
I rushed towards the table and slammed my hands against it, "did you give my gir- I mean, Lauren those hickies?!"
"She wasn't complaining about it." Danica said smirking.
"Danica, I swear to God I'm going to beat your ass." I said gritting my teeth.
"You should beat Lauren's ass, she's the one that wanted me to give them to her anyway."
"Really? Lauren wanted Danica to give her those hickies? Was she doing that to make me jealous? Is Danica just trying to hype me up for nothing?" I thought to myself.
"Alright. Have fun with her, I'm done with her anyway."
I walked out, I didn't even have the willpower to eat, I felt disgusted. I walked passed Lauren a final time and put my fingers to her neck, "that's cute," I said pointing out some of her hickies, "just know she will never be able to give you what I could have."
I rushed out with tears streaming down my face, I was shameless. I didn't care that anyone saw me crying, I was too hurt to even think about anyone's opinions.
I looked over my shoulder and noticed Lauren standing there, completely still. She looked at a loss for words.
I walked into my cabin and pushed my face into my pillow and just began to scream. I couldn't hold in my emotions, I was going to explode.
"Fuck you, Lauren! Fuck you! I hate you!" I shouted into my pillow.
"Someone sounds angry.." A familiar voice said.
It was Lauren, Lauren was standing at my door with tears in her eyes.
"What do you want?" I asked sniffing.
"I came to check up on you."
"I'm sorry for breaking your heart, I really am. I never intended on hurting you, I'm so sorry, Lauren. I want to fix this, let me fix this." I said crying between words, gasping for air.
"It's okay, don't worry about it. I'm fine." She said.
"Lauren, you don't have to lie to make me feel better." I said whimpering.
"Hey, maybe we could just be friends from here on out?" She said petting my leg.
"She wanted to be my friend? Weren't we already friends? I mean, we weren't official or anything, but I can't be friends with the person I love." I thought to myself.
"Yeah. Okay, we can be friends. Whatever makes you happy." I lied straight through my teeth.
"Good, so how are you, friend?" Lauren giggled.
Why is she laughing like this is a joke? I'm crying, I'm actually bawling my eyes out in front of her and she feels the need to giggle?
"I've been better, friend."
The word, 'friend' wasn't a good fitting word for Lauren. I hated calling her that.
Because Lauren wasn't my friend, she was the love of my life.
"You look super cute in that shirt." I found myself complimenting Lauren.
"Your tears are ruining your makeup, let me fix it for you." Lauren whispered.
Lauren began to stroke my cheek, wiping my tears with her thumb. Her eyes were focused on my tears trickling down my chin. Her mouth was slightly open and her eyes were flickering all around my face.
"There you go, all better." Lauren said smiling.
"You look really pretty when you smile." I admitted.
"I smile the most when I'm around you."
"Do you really?" I asked.
"Yeah, when you aren't breaking my heart." She laughed.
-
[Lauren's POV]
"Mr. Golden, if I could have a word with you." I asked the bald man in the suit.
"Yes? What is it, Lauren?" He asked.
"I'm going to need you to give Camila Cabello a solo in the family performance. She wants to perform for her little sister who's coming all the way from Miami. She needs to have this."
He laughed, "you're telling me what to do? Yeah think again, Jauregui. Go practice your riffs or something useful." He used his hand to shoo me away.
"Give her that solo or I'm telling the news about your pleasure receiving from a minor. You know, I can be really sweet, trust me. I can. But if you don't give Camila that solo I will ruin your reputation here so quick." I said firmly.
"I don't know what you're talking about." He said nervously avoiding eye contact.
"I have an eyewitness, I even have some picture evidence, because who would believe a minor over a strong business man, correct? But with this picture evidence, I will have you spend the remainder of your pitiful life behind bars." I lied about the evidence, but I felt as if it was enough to scare him.
"Please, Lauren..I'm begging you. I'll do as you please, don't tell anyone. I'll do anything, I promise! Cabello wants a solo? Alright, she'll have it, I'll let her know today! Anything else?" Mr.Golden said wiping the top of his sweaty, bald head.
"So, Camila has a solo for sure?" I asked.
"It's a sure thing!" He said.
"Nobody else is allowed to have a solo either. Oh yeah, and get better food. This shit you call food tastes like garbage." I laughed to myself.
"You got a deal, so you promise you aren't telling?" He asked nervously.
"Promise." I guess I learned to be like Camila and break promises, it was pretty easy if you ask me.
-
C: holy shit, Lauren!! Guess what?!
L: what's up? What happened??
I acted like I didn't know what she was ecstatic about.
C: Mr. Golden swung by my cabin and said I got the solo!!!! :)
L: no way?! Congrats, Camz. You deserve it. You always have!
C: Thanks, but I wonder why he decided to give it to me, who knows lol.
L: yeah, who knows.
-
"Play the track again." Camila said pointing to the guy in the control room.
The soft acoustic version of the hardcore rock and roll song began and Camila closed her eyes and sang softly into the mic.
She's got a smile it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I'd stare too long
I'd probably break down and cry
Camila sang softly and passionately into the black microphone, I guess she didn't notice me sitting quietly in the audience. She just thought it was her and Johnny in the control room, but she was wrong.
Her biggest fan was here to support her.
She continued to sing elegantly into the mic,
Oh, oh, oh
Sweet child o' mine
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Sweet love of mine
She finished the remainder of the song, I just admired her from the dark seat towards the back of the theatre. I got up from my spot and gave Camila a standing ovation.
I walked slowly towards the stage and continued clapping slowly, "amazing, Cabello. Amazing."
Camila squinted to see me, the stage lights were piercing her eyes, "Johnny, cut the lights please."
He did so and I looked up at her and smiled, "Sofi is really gonna love it, ya know?"
"You were listening? The entire time?" She asked with a nervous tone.
"Yeah, you sounded great, babe." I managed to slip the familiar pet name out of my mouth.
"Friends call each other, babe?" Camila asked ruffling her hand through her hair.
"I mean, yeah..right?"
"Yeah, in a friendly way of course." She smiled.
"Yes, of course! Friendly.."
Camila left the stage and stood next to me, "so what's up, Jauregui? Wanna go eat? I mean, I know the food here is shit, but what else is there to do, right?" She laughed.
"Yeah, let's go grab a bite to eat."
We walked towards the mess hall, and strange aroma was coming through the seeps of the doors, "when did shit start smelling this good?" Camila questioned.
I couldn't help but burst into laughter. Camila pushed my arm a bit and laughed along with me, "that's not what I meant, Lauren."
We opened the doors to find all the girls sitting at their tables with the one and only classic delectable meal: steak and baked potato with a side salad.
"Oh my God, Lauren! Look at the food! It actually looks edible!" Camila said running to get a helping.
I laughed to myself, it was nice seeing her so happy and her smile was pretty contagious, I couldn't help myself but smile as well.
I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder, "better, Lauren?"
I turned to find Mr.Golden standing before me with a sad look on his face. Is it bad that I don't feel bad for him? I don't know.
"A lot better." I said then turned to get a plate for myself.
-
[Camila's POV]
"Hey, Mila! It's me, Sofi!" The small screen projected Sofi's loud and extravagant personality.
"This is your surprise! I wanted to make a video for you, no reason, I just love you that's all!" I smiled at Sofi's consideration.
"I just want to let you know that you're the greatest big sister a girl could ever ask for, I love you so much. I will never meet anyone as great as you. You're my best friend, I love playing fairy princess with you and then pretending to be mermaids afterwards." She said chuckling to herself.
"But, I can't wait to see you sing my song, I'm super excited!" She continued and then I seen my parents chime in, "hello, mija! We miss you!" My mom said smiling and waving at the camera. "We're always going to be rooting for you. You showcase amazingly for our family name. I love you, I'll see you soon. Don't stop chasing your dreams, mijita." My dad said.
Their words were so kind, I loved my family. They were my biggest supporters.
"Okay, remember how we practiced!" Sofi said calling my parents together with her small arms.
"We love you, Camila. You're the best and we're your number one fans!" They all sang in sync.
"I know we don't sing as good as you, but we try. Well, bye, Camila. I love you so much, and remember, I'll see you soon. Bye, bye!" Sofi said blowing kisses into the camera along with my parents.
I enjoyed her surprise, it makes me miss her even more. I can't wait to see her.
-
[Lauren's POV]
Papa J: Hey Lo, it's your dad! We're getting on the flight now! We'll see you soon!
I replied quickly, I asked them to FaceTime me.
The screen showed my little tribe, "hey guys!" I said waving.
"Hey Lo-Ho!" Taylor said. "Taylor, your mouth! Hey, baby! I miss you! We're coming!" My mother said. "Hey, Lauren. Is your hot roommate there?" Chris asked. "Shut up, Chris. Hey, Lo, we're coming to see you show everyone out!" My dad said.
"I miss you guys, I can't wait to see you! I'll do my best, just for you guys. I love you, call me when you get off of the plane! Be safe!" I exclaimed.
"Bye!" They all said in sync. "Jauregui's out!" My dad said covering the camera and hanging up.
"Fucking goofballs." I laughed.
-
[Camila's POV]
"Camila, you're all set. You're up!" One of the coaches shouted at me. I made my way on stage, I saw everyone's families sitting in the audience, I was only looking for mine though.
I squinted my eyes, looking everywhere for Sofi, I couldn't find her. Maybe she was too small to see in the huge audience.
I grabbed the mic and said nervously, "this is dedicated to my little sister, Sofi. I hope you like it.
"Here goes nothing.." I thought to myself pulling my acoustic guitar over my shoulder.
I began to strum the guitar and placed my lips towards the mic, I sang softly,
She's got a smile it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I'd stare too long
I'd probably break down and cry
Oh, oh, oh
Sweet child o' mine
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Sweet love of mine
She's got eyes of the bluest skies
As if they thought of rain
I'd hate to look into those eyes
And see an ounce of pain
Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place
Where as a child I'd hide
And pray for the thunder and the rain
To quietly pass me by
I continued to look around for Sofi, but she wasn't anywhere to be found.
[3x]
Oh, oh, oh
Sweet child o' mine
Oh, oh, oh, oh,
Sweet love of mine
[4x]
Where do we go?
Where do we go now?
Where do we go?
Sweet child o' mine
I finished the song and stood there in silence, until the silence was interrupted by a huge wave of applauds and whistles. Many people stood up and gave me a standing ovation, but I was waiting for that one small voice to come break away from the rest.
Where was Sofi and my family?
I then looked to the back of the theatre and witnessed three police officers and a man who looked like he could be a detective walk inside. Mr. Golden was speaking to the men, he couldn't keep his eyes off of me.
He then rushed to the stage and whispered in my ear, "there's been a tragedy in your family. I need to see you, Lauren and Yune immediately."
My heart completely sank.
"Tragedy?" I asked.