Monday, June 8, 1992, Waukesha, WI
Leah sat upstairs on Bonnie's double bed as her cousin sorted through clothes in a basket on the desk. The TV played Murphy Brown in the background, as Leah glanced at the bed sheets and chuckled. "Still into New Kids on the Block?" she teased her cousin.
"Not like three years ago," Bonnie laughed. "As much hassle as Mom went through to find them, I haven't had the heart to tell her I want something new."
"Well, no opinion on the other brothers, but I saw the new Calvin Klein ad and Mark Wahlberg is pretty smoking hot," Leah said with a wry grin.
"I definitely agree with you there," Bonnie started to say before the tinny ring of her cordless phone interrupted her.
Looking at the time, Bonnie wondered aloud, "That could be Jake."
"Can I answer?" Leah asked with a mischievous look on her face.
"Be nice and make sure it's him," Bonnie said.
"I'm always nice," Leah said as she reached the phone before the answering machine picked up and hit the speaker button.
"Hello?" she said with an exaggerated slow southern drawl and just a hint of sultriness.
"Uh, hi, Leah? Is Bonnie there?" Jake said slowly.
"You're on speaker, Jake, I can hear you," Bonnie said, turning to sit on the other side of the phone from her cousin.
"Oh, so what are you girls doing?" Jake asked.
"Reading Tiger Beat and talking about how hot Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix are," Bonnie said.
"Oh, that's, uh," Jake said, unsure how to answer. "I mean, I think Keanu Reeves is amazing as an actor, Point Break was beyond awesome. And River Phoenix can pretty much play anything. He's hard to describe."
"Yeah, I would highly recommend My Own Private Idaho. I saw it a few times; amazing film," Leah said. "And I must say Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure has a lot more nuance than people give it credit for. But you have to really watch it to see the little things they bring out in it."
"Wow, I liked that one. It was pretty funny," Jake said. "You see a lot of movies?"
"Yeah, my friend Kyle's family is part of the people who own Carmike Cinemas," she said. "So I worked with him at the theater his dad manages."
"That's pretty cool," he said. "Do you still work there? There are some awesome films coming out this summer."
"No, I don't anymore, not since David and I broke up," she said, unsure how much she wanted to say. "It got weird with him working there. I still go to movies there with my friends. Kyle hooks us up for premieres."
"Oh," Jake said, "I get that."
Bonnie, jumping in to save her cousin from more awkward questions, interrupted, "Actually, Jake, we're watching Murphy Brown. What are you doing?"
"I'm just upstairs in the sitting room listening to the Brewers' baseball game," Jake said. "I was flipping through my grandpa's stacks of Reader's Digests and National Geographics."
"National Geographics, huh?" Leah said teasingly. "Looking for pictures of tribal women?"
"What? No!" Jake blurted out a little too defensively.
Bonnie laughed. "Wow, that quick denial makes it sound like a yes!"
Jake started to stumble around to defend himself when Bonnie interrupted him"Jeez, Jake, just messing with you,"she said with a laugh.
"So, farmer tan, what are your plans for tomorrow?" Leah asked with a playful jab.
"Well, I know we're probably taking the kids to lunch at George Webb's, which is a tradition with my grandmother," Jake explained. "On Tuesdays, she goes to this one George Webb's and spends time talking with a waitress she has a heart for and helps out in other ways, I think. What are you ladies up to?" Jake asked.
I don't know," said Bonnie glancing at her cousin, "I was thinking about taking Leah out to Mayfair Mall and doing some shopping. I figured she might want to get a new swimsuit so she can, you know, actually catch some rays and improve her tan."
Confused, Jake asked, "A better swimsuit ?"
"Exactly, farmer tan," Leah said with a sly grin. "Dad would have me swimming in a suit from the 1950's if he could. I figured you'd understand this with all your sun-kissed days in the desert."
"Oh, yeah," Jake said wistfully as he caught up with the conversation.
"Don't get too carried away with your imagination there, Mr. Footloose and Fancy Free," Bonnie teased. "But seriously, speaking of your new freedom, what happened back in Arizona? You two dated for over two years."
"Yeah," said Leah, "I mean how did you guys meet to ever start all the fireworks in the first place?"
Jake sighed. "Yeah, well," he began, "we knew each other when we were little, through third grade, until my family moved. We went years without seeing each other. But then, on that first day of my freshman year, I thought I recognized her after seeing her by between classes. She had grown up, but those amber golden eyes were still the same as when we were kids. And she has this scar on her right hand from when she fell on the playground in second grade, it's shaped of a D between her thumb and forefinger..."
His voice trailed off for a moment, lost in memory. "She was brand new in the district and having a horrible first day. She had gotten her classes mixed up, two girls had already hassled her for what she was wearing, and a couple of the Senior guys had been really crude hitting on her. At lunch I crossed the courtyard, there she was, sitting alone, her face in her hands, and I went over, put my hand on the table beside her and said. 'Hey, Marty, I haven't seen you in forever! It's so good to see you. Mind if I join you?'"
"And she looked up at me, her eyes all red and puffy," Jake continued, "and there in front of everyone, she stood up and said, 'Jacob, Oh My God, you go here? I can't believe it... I've missed you!' and she hugged me just like she did the day I moved, and well, that was it."
"Oh, I know," Bonnie said. "You called me, no letter, but a phone call, which I'm surprised your mom didn't kill you for with the long distance charges. You babbled like a fool for close to an hour before you let me get a word in."
"I invited her to be part of our group and we all hung out." Jake continued, "The Perez family are great people and our parents got along well. But Marta is Marta. She knows she's beautiful, and because she's the only girl with her brothers, she rules the roost and is a total drama queen. Within a year, she rose into the social hierarchy at the high school. I often wondered if I was good enough for her, especially over the last year. Who she was three years ago and who she is today are completely different. It became all about prestige: who we were with, where we were, and soon, she wasn't sure about some of my friends. Like Curtis and Susan. I mean, Curtis Ringo is about as country as you can get, and Susan is a total computer nerd, which makes it weird they're dating, but that whole look didn't fit Marta's image anymore."
"Wait," Leah said, suddenly interested. "Curtis Ringo... is he, like, related to the outlaw Johnny Ringo?"
"Well," Jake chuckled, "yeah, he is a Ringo. I guess he's somehow related to the guy from Tombstone. The Ringo's have been in Arizona a long time. They have different ranches scattered around the state, and all the adults help manage them. Curtis definitely thinks he's a full-on cowboy," Jake said. "I've got a picture somewhere that makes him look like he just stepped off a trail drive."
"So, what's his girlfriend like?" Leah asked. "A total aww shucks Annie Oakley, ?"
Jake laughed. "No, not even close. Susan Serrano is as feisty as a badger and grade-curve killer smart. But she loves her cowboy," he chuckled, "and Lord help any girl who looks at him."
"So enough about your high school yearbook, Jake," Leah said, eager to get back to the gossip. "How'd you lose the Spanish princess?"
Jake hesitated. "Well, uh, Bonnie..."
"Why are you asking me?" Bonnie said defensively. "She wasn't MY girlfriend."
"Because you know," Jake mumbled.
Leah glanced at the phone, then back at her cousin. "What do you know?" she pressed.
Bonnie took a sarcastic tone into the phone. "Well, let's just say Jake had his desires, and Marta had hers, but there was a serious lack of communication on both ends."
"That says it all," Leah muttered.
"Whoa, hold on!" Jake protested. "That's not the whole story."
"Neither is what I said," Bonnie admitted, a touch of annoyance creeping into her voice. "I mean, last summer you poured your heart out about how much you loved Marta, but you weren't sure if her feelings were as strong. You worried about where things were going and how much you 'missed' her. We'd lied there on the dock, watching the stars, and you talked for hours. Trust me, Jake, I remember."
Her tone softened slightly. "And I'll be honest, Jake, I've listened and listened to you for years now, but sometimes you need to listen too. Just a second to stop and pay more attention to what's actually there, not just what you're wishing for. Maybe then you wouldn't miss what's right in front of you."
Leah stared at her cousin, a bewildered expression on her face.
Jake remained silent for a moment. "Um, what are you saying, Bonnie? I don't follow you."
"Of course you don't, Jake," Bonnie said, a hint of pain in her voice. She tried to compose herself for Leah's sake, but the frustration was evident. Her voice became short as she said "But it's getting late. Have fun with your cousins tomorrow."
"I, uh..." Jake stammered, not wanting to end the call on this sour note. "Actually, the reason I called... I wondered if you wanted to grab lunch on Thursday? We can talk more then, okay, Bonnie?" he was met with silence.."Uh, night, Leah."
"Night, farmer tan," Leah answered softly.
Bonnie simply said, "Night," and hung up the phone, her cheeks flushed and a hurt look lingering in her eyes.
"Okay, cuz," Leah said, needing some answers. "You gotta fill me in. What the heck was that all about?"
She paused, then looked at Bonnie face and came to a realization. "Oh my God, how long have you liked Jake?"
Bonnie stared out the window at the starry night. "Seems like forever, I guess. It probably started that first summer after fifth grade when he started coming up for two months each year. My grandma and his would meet up, and we spent practically our entire summers together. It went on like that for four years. We were inseparable, the best of friends." Bonnie's voice grew quiet and almost hollow as she sat quietly for a minute, reliving those memories. She took a breath and continued, "We actually kissed once."
"Shut up!" Leah exclaimed, shocked. "No way!"
Leah sighed, still gazing out the window. "It was the summer before freshman year, out on the boat dock. We sat and watched the sunset, holding hands. I poured my heart out to him, telling him how much he meant to me and that I'd always cared for him. You know, the whole middle-school romantic 'I've discovered poetry' phase. I think he was a little surprised by it, as he was silent for like five minutes, which is unusual for Jake, because he never shuts up," she said with a small smile. "Finally, he said, 'Bonnie, you're the closest friend I've ever had who's a girl. You mean so much to me, and I love you too.' And then we kissed. It was late July, near the end of his visit."
"We didn't talk much about it after that," Bonnie continued. "There wasn't any discussion of being boyfriend and girlfriend or anything. I mean, he lived in Arizona and I lived in Wisconsin. We wrote letters that August. But I'll never forget that afternoon sitting in my room, looking over my first week's homework, when he called my second line. He babbled on and on about this girl he'd grown up with who was back at school, how crazy it was, and how much he'd missed her. I just sat there listening as he retold the story he told you a little while ago. And it hit me so hard, I muted the phone while he talked because I started to cry."
"I care about Jake so much," she confessed. "And when Marta treated him terribly over the last year, I almost didn't want to hear about it because it hurts me to see him in pain. But a part of me wanted so badly to say 'I told you so.' All he talked about were the problems Marta caused, how she didn't trust him, and how she even got all jealous for the pictures he took with me. It just tore me up. Because all this time I still loved him, and for all his care for me, he's never seen it. And that's what hurts the most," she said, hugging her cousin tightly.
"It's okay to hurt," Leah whispered. "It's okay." As Bonnie trembled in her arms, she was finally releasing what had been bottled up inside for so long.
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